Note: This is set in Season 1, after The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate. Canon divergent after that so nothing applies from that point on, including Gossip Girl's identity. In this story (and all of my stories) assume Gossip Girl is an unknown New Yorker who is irrelevant. Thanks so much for reading!
Rumor has it a certain former UES queen is currently boarding her flight back to JFK. How does it feel flying coach, B? We hear since getting knocked off your pedestal you're finally learning what life's like without the finer things, ain't that a bitch? XOXO, Gossip Girl
Blair closes out Gossip Girl and hastily swipes on airplane mode, fighting back tears from her first class seat. She feels like calling her mother's lawyer and filing for libel against Gossip Girl. She would never fly coach and she plans on taking back her throne as soon as she steps foot on campus tomorrow. When they spoke over the phone, Serena had assured her that plenty of scandals had taken place while she was away that the Chuck and Nate incident would be old news. One can hope, she tells herself letting her eyes flutter shut as the plane took off.
"I can't decide what the best news I heard was while I was away," Blair ponders aloud as she walks with Serena towards Constance Billard, the school in which she was dreading returning to. "That you and Humphrey broke up or that Penelope had an STD scare."
"Ew, I can't believe you just lumped my breakup in the same category as Penelope's little trip to Planned Parenthood for a syphilis test." Serena winces.
"Sorry, it's just that both Gossip Girl stories brought me such joy. By the way," She turns sharply toward her best friend. "I can't believe you let me read about your breakup on Gossip Girl."
"We weren't going to tell anyone for a bit but it turned out Gossip Girl broke the news first. We're going to be friends anyway." Serena shrugs.
"Why? I thought we were rid of him. Don't tell me Humphrey will start ruining lunch on the steps with his tales of Cedric the Cabbage Patch Kid." Blair groans.
Serena laughs, "You don't have to be friends with him."
"Good, I wasn't planning on it anyway." Blair takes a deep breath as they reach the steps to Constance. "I don't know, S, if I can do it."
"You can! Everyone has forgotten like you said, Penelope's STD scare was so embarrassing what could she possibly do to you now?"
"You're right," Blair nods and places a heeled foot on the step, ready to reign once more. Just as a small, hopeful smile begins to cross her face as she climbs the steps, she feels a cold splash against her head and recoils in horror.
"What the fuck?" She touches the top of her head to pull away a gloop of something. She looks up and sees Jenny, Hazel, Penelope, Isabel, and Elise with satisfied smiles as they hold out yogurt spoons triumphantly.
"Oh my god," Serena says quickly wiping off the yogurt off the top of Blair's head. "Come on," She outstretches an arm and rushes me toward the bathrooms.
Blair swats away the tears forming in her eyes as she stands in front of the sink. "Well, I can't imagine that having gone any worse."
"Ignore those bitches-" Serena begins but Blair cuts her off.
"How can I ignore them when they assault me with their low cal Yoplait when I didn't even so much as glance at them?" Blair frowns at her hair which now is weighted down in the spot where the yogurt was. "The evidence of my fall from grace is all over me, literally." Blair gestures at her hair. "I'm going home, I can't be here and especially not looking like this."
"You can't let them win!" Serena protests. "Stay and fight? Remember? That's what you agreed to so that's what you're going to do. One second, let me run to my locker for something."
"You're just going to leave me here?" Blair demands, incredulously.
"I'll be back in one sec, I promise." Serena says as she runs out.
As promised, she returns a few moments later and puts something on Blair's head, before she can see what it is. She looks in the mirror and watches as Serena adjusts a white cashmere beret. Blair gives a tentative smile as she looks at her capped reflection.
"See? No more evidence. You look Parisian chic and far classier than any of them possibly could."
"Thanks, S." Blair says as the bell rings.
"Good luck today," She smiles as she walks off towards her class.
The morning doesn't get any better, but it also doesn't get any worse, thankfully. Blair doesn't have any classes with Penelope, Jenny, or Elise since the formers are freshmen and the latter takes far lower level classes than Blair does. As she finishes eating her lunch on the steps with Serena, she starts to think maybe this semester could get better. Sure the yogurt incident was traumatic and she will probably need to avoid anything resembling the substance for at least a year but perhaps all isn't lost.
That is until she walks into her last class of the day, World History, and sees Dan Humphrey. She glares at him as she slides into her seat, not before he shoots back a confused look. It's as though the universe is trying to punish me, Blair thinks to herself as she barely listens to the teacher's introduction to the class.
"So before we leave today, I will be assigning everyone a partner for the semester project. Each pair will be responsible for preparing a presentation on a significant battle in history between the early 1800s to 1900s. Choose wisely as you will need to make the presentation at least one hour long and have multiple discussion points as to why it was so significant. Now, for the pairs."
Assigned partners? Blair scoffs to herself. This feels like second grade. Maybe she'll get paired with Nelly Yuki, even though she's basically her rival since they both have their sights set on Yale. Perhaps she can coerce Nelly into doing all the work, though. As the names get called off in alphabetical order, Blair eagerly aways Ms. MacAllister to reach W. Finally the moment comes and Blair realizes she's holding her breath.
"Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey."
"What?" Dan and Blair simultaneously say in disbelief.
"That's it, now that you all have your partners I strongly suggest meeting and exchanging emails or phone numbers." The teacher closes her book and begins to pack up her things.
Blair glances over at Dan, "This is not happening, Humphrey."
"Like I want to be paired with you, Waldorf." He shoots back.
"Ms. McAllister, I think there must be a mistake in the partnerships. I don't see myself and Humph- Dan, working well together." Blair says politely once she reaches Ms. McAllister's desk.
"On the contrary Miss Waldorf," Ms. McAllister looks up. "Each pair was selected with the utmost care. You and Daniel are both at the top of your classes, I think it will be a very beneficial partnership indeed."
"I appreciate your efforts, Ms. McAllister but I would appreciate being reassigned to another partner." Blair objects as Dan joins them at the desk.
"Blair," Her tone becomes more serious. "If I were to let you switch partners than I would have to let everyone. The decisions are final. Work together or get an automatic failing grade."
As Blair and Dan exchange horrified looks, Blair realizes her dethroning is the least of her problems, now.
Thank you all for leaving feedback on what story I should continue! This won out and SincerelyKi made a great point that since this one is inspiring me more, it's best to go in that direction. I do hope to return to writing The Bridesmaid and The Journalist at some point. I want to think of a fun twist on 27 Dresses so it's not so predictable, I think that's what got me stuck in a rut. I hope to update this story again by next week!
