*PAD - PAD - PAD - PAD* Was the sound of his nightmares. The sound of heavy boots coming into contact with the old worn out carpets, making louder crunching noises as the steps became more pronounced. A little boy's heart was beating rapidly with apprehension, his small fingers shaking with each passing second. His whole body trembling. The steps became even louder as he heard it go up the stairs. The boy was clutching a blue, stuffed cat, and was holding on to it as if his life depended on it. A few seconds, a few minutes, and he knew it was coming. He knew that it was going to start any second now. But then, the deafening steps stopped dead in their tracks. It was quiet... Too quiet... So quiet that all he could hear was his heart pounding apprehensively in his chest, and the bed slightly creaking from his trembling. He waited another few seconds, a few minutes and then, the door busts open, startling him. A man, about the age of someone in his thirties, was gripping an empty bottle of booze , movements slurred, the moon highlighting and defining a well - crazed expression plastered on the mans face. He was smiling - grinning evilly down at him. He raised the bottle into the air, brown glass glinting in the moonlight, and then it came down upon the small boy, making the sickening sound of glass breaking, a large calloused fist soon followed, beating the child up to a degraded state.
"You little shit!"
"You are a disgrace to this family!"
"Oh, that's right, you HAVE no family!"
"It's because you're a demon!"
"A SINNER of God!"
"A mistake!"
"someone not meant to see the light of day!"
"You bitch!"
The child heard this everyday, day and night, accepting the fact that wasn't even true. He would cry himself to sleep, he would hurt himself, he would blame himself for everything, he criticized himself for being like that.
But it didn't change anything.
In fact
It got worst.
"Hey! Faggot! Someone like you shouldn't be owning something like this! You don't need it!"
"Why can't you be like the others? THEY LEARN. But you? I don't see potential... Why bother studying? You're just wasting my time here!"
He heard this everyday at school. Was this the punishment for being someone like him? Is it possible God had decided to punish him for being himself? It was decided then. He thought, and thought, and thought, statements of what he had heard from a discussion in the classroom
"Being born to a family is one of the best things that can happen to you,"
I would rather die...
"Every family is special,"
Not mine...
"And so is the child."
I'm not special, and I'm not normal...
"They may have those few flaws,"
They don't have flaws, I do...
"Those few hardships,"
It's because of me those hardships exist...
"But as long as they love you,"
They don't...
"You know that you mean the world to them."
A speck of dust found under the bed would probably be more important and useful to them...
A cutter was laying on his bedside table, illuminating before his eye's. It seemed to have been sweetly calling him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears. It had a kind of instant magnetic pull, like when a "NORMAL" child sees candy. He picked it up, and held it tightly in his hands... There were a few fleeting thoughts in his head, mostly consisting of 'what if's' and 'probably wont' . He slid out the blade carefully, pressed his finger on to it, applied some pressure, and slid it across as slow and as teasingly as possible. He felt a pang in his little heart... His soul felt empty... He tried it again... and again... and again... and again...
...and he felt loved...
A lot of things had occurred since then, and he had miraculously survived through all of it. He had been able to take an exam, and receive the privilege of working for a more secret part of the government. He was lucky enough to have been chosen by a giant blue robotic lion, along with four others. They were going into space... He had always wanted to ride in a spaceship and land on the moon, to visit planets, to be - friend beings from another world -
To see the stars.
Oh, Yes, he wanted to see the stars, so much so that it had been his one saving grace at the time, his break from the pain, his, supposedly, "vacation destination" where all he had to do was trot over to his window and soak in the little light they give, admiring the way they make countless and endless shapes when you connect them together. He had always vividly imagined himself landing on your typical 5 - pointed star, getting stardust and making countless wishes, having good dreams, a better family -
But that was before...
Now, he had learned, that there was no such things as 5 - pointed stars floating in space, there wasn't a chance that he would even get to see a star up - close... There was also no such thing as 'star dust' that would solve his problems. He learned that he would have to get the approval of his family, their respect, their love... if they were even his family...
Everything had just seemed so bright at the time. Childish innocence feigning the real cruelty of the world, those demons lurking, ready to make your life a living hell... Family, Dreams, Stars...
It all just seemed to be part of the black abyss, A dark space where his nightmares would haunt him forever, not even waiting for nighttime to come...
And he was going inside that void - less space. Reliving everything like it had only started...
...Hopes...
...Dreams...
...Kindness...
...Love...
...And for the first time in a long time, where the stars had started, he was filled with -
"...DETERMINATION..."
Welp, my hand slipped... on purpose... XD... Anyways, this is like, my first Voltron fan fiction, so no hate please, because, I suck at roasting and coming up with clever comebacks... Sooo... yeah... Please remember to just follow me on my previous account AlexiaAganus, cause, I like, forgot the password, and that I had no idea on what I was doing that time... Apparently, I'm the walking definition of a mess... So, yeah! In case some of you guys love reading fanfiction about youtuber's in dem smexy relationships, you should go to Lafayette69's part of wattpad and well, read her published stories! Yep!
