Notes: Just a serious of one shots that may develop into stories. Basically its five things Dean will never tell Sam


He scrolls down the list of contact numbers searching for Sam's cellphone number. A number that he hasn't called since Sam left for college two months ago. He has so many things that he wants to tell Sam, but there just isn't enough time and he doesn't have enough words. Pressing the call button is one of the hardest things his ever had to do and with the life he leads that is really saying something.

Instead of getting the answer phone message he hears Sam's voice. A voice that used to fill him with happiness, but now only leaves him feeling cold inside.

"Hello." Sam said. Looking at the caller id he doesn't recognise the number, but that didn't mean this wasn't an important call. Numerous friends called him and he rarely recognised those numbers.

He wanted to tell Sam that there last night of love making before he had left for Stanford had consequences. Consequences that couldn't be fixed with just this one damn phone call. He needed to tell Sam that he was pregnant, but his mouth couldn't form the words. All he could do was listen to the sound of Sam's steady breathing.

"Who is this." Sam asked the irritation at having to deal with another cold call showing in his voice.

He needed to hear Sam tell him it was okay for him to be pregnant. He needed the reassurance that he could get from Sam. He needed all of that and so much more, but he couldn't have it. Sam deserved a normal life. A pregnant brother wasn't normal. With a voice nearly cracking with emotion he could only find it within himself to utter one word "Sam."

"Dean what is wrong. Is dad okay, are you okay." Sam demanded he had not missed the raw emotion in Deans voice. Hearing his normally emotionless brother and sometimes lover so emotional was a worry.

He couldn't tell Sam the truth. He couldn't end Sam's dream of a normal life with just one phone call. In a surprisingly steady voice he said;"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what." Sam asked but as soon s those words had left his mouth he knew he was never going to get an answer, dean had hung up on him. Normally he would be angry at Dean for ending a phone call before the conversation could even get started, but al he could be was concerned.