Warning: Mentions of rape...and a lot of angst.
Disclaimer: ...if I owned Gackt or Hyde, they would have come out of the closet long ago...on national, no INTERnational television...by having beautiful mansmex on stage and...you get the idea. XD
Brought to you by Kimi Ga Matteiru Kara by Gackt. :| No idea where this came from. AT ALL. Blame Gackt and his epic weirdness and awe-inspriring ability to inspire and confuse and create beautiful fanservice...
WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW BEFORE READING:
Kei and Luka are yes, vampires...BUT! They're born...and grow...until they're eighteen, or something happens to speed up that process. (First taste of blood, etc.) Until then, they are perfectly normal human beings...or they act like them...wow, this sounds so nerdy.
Kei gave in, no longer willing to fight the man who continuously crawled into his bed night after night. Ignoring his instincts that were screaming out at him to run, to resist, to do something, he instead lay still and submissive. He didn't respond to the gentle yet demanding caresses of his unwanted lover, instead willing himself into unconsciousness. It was always easier and less humiliating that way. At least, that's what he told himself.
Kei wandered the confines of his owner's mansion, not even bothering to notice the beauty of the court yard surrounding him.
His 'owner' had found him in a city, hundred of miles away from here. There would be no escape, even if he still had the spirit and there weren't guards posted at every door, every window; every stair well, crack and roof. He was allowed the bare minimum of items, to prevent him from attempting to take his own life, though he was now too despondent to, even if the chance presented itself. An outsider, however, would believe he was being given the best of everything. Anyone could have seen the caring way the noble treated him, loving in his efforts, even; he was always provided for, even though when he had been found, dying on the streets, the sun burning his skin away (even through his clothes) he had been nothing but a beggar. Or, so he had seemed. In actuality, he and his closest friend, his love, had gotten into a terrible fight, and words were said that wounded him so deeply, he never would have recovered from them, regardless of whether he had been found that day or not.
He had run away, ignoring his love's cries that the sun would be up soon. The fight...had Kei not closed his heart off, even from himself, he would have laughed at the irony. It had been about a rumour Luka had heard...he and Kei had known each other since they were both children. When they were just barely teenagers, they had discovered their feelings for each other. Having grown up in the forest, they both had no idea of what a physical relationship was. The most they had ever done, the farthest they had gone, was to hold hands, and had only shared a kiss or two. (When they had come to the city, they had learned that unlike their old home, there was little to no cover for them during the day. This had been learned the hard way, as this meant that Luka, the one who had been burned, had awoken the vampire within him, meaning he would now have to feed. He stopped growing, then. Kei soon followed.)
This rumour, this jealous lie that had started all of the still-innocent Kei's problems, Luka had heard from one of Kei's 'friends.' (Who Kei, in fact, had never actually spoken to or met before.) He had been told that Kei had a boyfriend, a lover, in fact, and someone other than him. Luka, of course, would never have believed them, but they had photos. He stared at them in disbelief. The first three showed Kei talking to a tall brunette, and, although everything in these first few were innocent enough, Luka couldn't stifle a pang of jealousy. He was the only one that Kei was supposed to laugh with, to open up to--the next picture shook Luka to the core.
Kei...Kei was crying! He was sitting on a bench in a park they used to frequent often, head in his hands as tears ran in a stream down his face. The older man hadn't seen the blonde cry since they had first moved to the city. He flipped through the pictures, eyes growing wide, anger and fear that Kei was leaving him growing as the brunette reappeared in the pictures, growling when he saw that the tearful blonde had let him pull him into a comforting embrace. He sobbed against the brunette's chest, leaning into his touch. He couldn't help the possesive, almost territorial growl that escaped his throat. If the blonde was hurting this much, why had he gone to that bastard instead of himself, his loving childhood friend and boyfriend? Luka angrily flipped to the next set of pictures, seething as the scene changed and Kei allowed the brunette to take the cigarette from his own mouth and place it in the blonde's. Not only was he corrupting Kei's mind, but now his body as well?
The next few photos showed Kei entering what he supposed was an apartment. He screamed at the newest photo in his hands. It was a picture taken in a darkened room, but there was enough of a soft light that Luka was just able to make out the outline of the small man's wing tattoos, as the blonde began to strip. He saw, horrified, images of the blonde crawling into bed with the taller man, and letting him claim him time and time again. The last photo was of Kei leaving the apartment in the same clothes he arrived in.
The person who gave him the photographs looked on in glee as the aforementioned blonde entered the room, holding several bags of groceries. He greeted his boyfriend happily, setting down ther bags. When he looked up, making eye contact with the older male for the first time since arriving, he immediately knew something was off. Kei reached out to touch Luka's shoulder, flinching when he violently pulled away. "Lu...ka?" The older male had to fight against his instincts, to keep a lid on his fury and rage. Kei, his Kei, had allowed another man to touch him, to claim him, to take his innocence. He whirled around, grabbing Kei's arms.
The blonde cried out at the rough treatment, tears springing to his eyes as the taller man's grip grew tighter. He growled at his younger partner, nails digging inot his skin. "Kei...why?"
Kei fought to keep from crying. "Wh-what are you talking about?"
Luka thrust the photographs in his face, demanding an explanation. The first photo he was shown was one of them in the apartment. Kei didn't recognize the place, and said as much to Luka. This only served to further his rage. "How in the hell can you lie to my face like that?!"
Kei fought the vise-like grip Luka had on him, but he couldn't break the stronger man's hold. "I-I'm telling the truth! Luka-kun, what exactly do you think I did??" He gasped when he saw the picture after it. He turned red, having never experienced or even seen images of sex before. "Th-that's not me, Luka-kun--"
"Bull fucking shit, Kei!" The brunette gnashed his teeth, frightening Kei with his sudden change in demeanor.
"L-luka-kun, I--" the older man cut him off yet again.
"I don't want to hear your lies, Kei." he spat his closest friend's name as if it disgusted him.
"Damn it, Luka! LISTEN to me!" Startled by the blonde's forceful words, he pulled away slightly. "I have never had sex with this man. Not him, nor anyone else for that matter."
The brunette almost believed him, but couldn't yet bring himself to. "Then explain this." He pointed to the back of the blonde in the picture. "I gave you this MYSELF. No one else in the world can have these wings!" The blonde sighed.
"Perhaps someone took a picture of mine and took it to a tattoo parlour. How should I know? The only thing I'm sure of is that these aren't me."
With each word, Luka's rage returned. "Damn it, Kei! There's no way it can't be you!" He flipped through the images, stopping when he got to the picture of Kei crying. "Care to explain what's going on here?" Kei took the photo, turning his back to Luka as he tried to think of how to phrase it best. It was a picture taken on a night where Luka was out hunting. Kei hadn't had enough to drink lately, and while his friend was gone, he had been attacked and nearly raped. His vampiric instincts had kicked in, and for the first time, he had taken the life of a human being. When they normally fed, Luka always had to put the victims out of their misery, but this time, Kei had ripped the man's throat to ribbons, lapping at the blood as his nails dug into the skin. "Kei!"
The blonde snapped from his dark memories to face his partner. Kei shrugged, answering simply. "We were friends. That night had been my first kill, you weren't there, and I let him comfort me."
The blonde's off-handedness enraged the normally calm Luka more. It was all the an could do not to strike him--no, he would never do that. It was Kei! After all they had been through together, that would have been just...wrong. Yet he couldn't help clenching his fists. "And the cigarettes?"
Kei sighed. "I like them. I am too young to purchase them, so sometimes he'll pick some up for me. We're vampires, anyway, so it's not like there's going to be any damage."
The taller man couldn't stave off the violent feelings within him, and Kei jumped back, genuinely afraid as Luka punched a wall, his hand breaking through it. "Damn it, Kei! That isn't the fucking point!" The other fist went flying, breaking both the concrete and his knuckles. Kei pressed himself against the other wall, scared out of his wits. This wasn't his Luka. His Luka never lost his temper--hell, Kei didn't even know he had one--he was always so caring and sincere...but this, this was not his Luka.
"L-luka...stop it...You're scaring me..." Luka whipped his head around, turning on Kei.
"No. No, I won't stop it. Not until I get the truth out of you, Kei." His voice broke, but fury was still in his stance and eyes.
"Luka-kun, I-I--" Luka was across the room in a flash, his nails digging into Kei's wrist again. "A-ah!"
"No. Kei, how could you?" His eyes took on an inhuman glow as he leaned down to look Kei dead in the eye. A split second whim of a thought, and Luka was roughly forcing his lips on a crying Kei's. Luka growled, forcing his unwilling partner harder against the wall behind him, using his leg to raise Kei slightly, making him straddle him. The blonde tried to break the painful kiss, but his love grabbed his chin, manipulating him so he was forced to participate. He split Kei's lips with his fangs as he tried to shove his tongue in the smaller man's mouth.
He pulled back as he realized his efforts were futile. Kei had had his teeth clenched, which were now chattering as he shook with fear, muttering "It wasn't me" like a mantra. As soon as he released Kei, the boy fell to his knees, tears streaking down his cheeks to his blood smeared lips. Luka stomped away, shortly after turning on his heel and running back to the broken blonde. He tried to apologize, to caress his cheek, but Kei slapped his hand away, jumping to his feet. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he sprinted for the door. Luka tried to follow after him, but the boy had had a head start.
"Kei! Wait!" he glanced over his shoulder, picking up speed as he saw Luka drawing nearer. "It's daylight outside!!" Ignoring the blonde's cries, Kei threw open the door, bathing the broken warehouse in sunlight. Luka sceamed as Kei ran into the blinding sun.
Kei stumbled over his long robes, falling to the marble floor as he was too weak to right himself. Immediately, servants swarmed about him, hauling him to his feet, whilst touching him as little as possible. Only their master could touch him; he was his special prize. Kei shook their hands off, and they were instantly back to their stations. One lingered, however. He was tall, at least a head higher than Kei, with the strangest of hairstyles. His eyes searched the blonde's deadened ones, looking for something. "Are you alright?"
Kei shrugged away from the guard when he noticed the servant's blatant staring. He would have glared at them, had it happened when he had first arrived. That, however, was before he had lost the most precious parts of himself. His mind and heart were shattered when those rays of sunlight had first touched his sensitive skin, signifying the burning of the bridges he and Luka had so carefully built to keep them connected.
He truly had been a virgin, and how Luka could have thought otherwise baffled him.
His new "master" had found him burning in the street, and had been captivated by the morbid beauty of such an angelic face contorted in such pain. He himself had covered him with a blanet, patting away the flames and carrying him to his carriage.
When he had awoken in the palace, dressed in silks and surrounded by plush pillows, he had been convinced he had died. When he learned otherwise, he prayed. Day after day, he prayed that Luka would come for him, or that he would be given to the mercy of the sun. His hope was shattered with a knock at the door. He had answered it, ever hopeful, and found that his night visitor had been not Luka, but his owner. Before that night, he had been just a benefactor kindly helping a lost soul. That night, Kei's devastation hurt him so that he didn't deny the older man's subtle advances. Until that time, he had been caring, forced nothing on him; he didn't then either. Kei had given in. When his master had lightly pressed his lips to virgin, white skin, the rarity did not push him away, did not fight, did nothing to stop it or resist at all. The man believed that the submission of his spirited, almost arrogant charge was an acceptance of his abounding love; however, it was the opposite. It was an acceptance that his love cared for him no longer.
When he awoke, back pressed against the body of another, tears fell as he silently screamed. He had done just what Luka accused him of--he had given his body to another.
Oh, the irony.
Kei wandered to the servant's stairwell, a spiral leading to the sky, it seemed. It was unusual for this area to have such a thing, but his master, he had learned, was fascinated by astronomy. The man had tried to ask how he felt about the subject, but the once loud and talkative boy had slowly been lapsing into silence, ever since leaving the arms of Luka. The process had been complete on that night so many years ago...he had reached the top, now. Still, he climbed higher, up on the tower's roof. This was the one place left unguarded in the entirety of the castle. His owner had removed them when he realized it was the only place where Kei felt safe. He respected the blonde's need to be alone; after all, vampires are solitary creatures, right?
He sat down, his silken robes spread around him. He had gotten so thin, the extravagant clothing seemed to consume him. He hadn't fed in awhile; his master bled some of his servants (they gave it willingly for their master) so he didn't have to kill, but the vampire had refused. He wanted to die.
His master seemed to see this, but didn't know what to do about it. He just hoped his love might one day get through to him. What he didn't realize was that that was what hurt him the most.
"A-ah...Sh-sho-kun..." His head snapped up, his silence disturbed.
"Haa...Sou-chan..." The two voices were both male, though only one seemed familiar. Peaking over the edge, he recognized the guard from earlier, his hands roaming a half-naked male's body. He watched, perplexed, the way they interacted.
Both participated, their moans mingling. Kei watched the sensual scene unfold, eyebrows furrowed. The two men seemed to actually enjoy the wicked act, both of them. What was this? Why were they different? Deciding to find out, he jumped off the roof, landing silently several yards away from the pair. Unsure for a moment, he stood on the pavilion, his eyes following their every move. The guard had the man pushed up against the smooth stone wall, his clothes hanging so precariously that if it hadn't been for the obi, he would be completely naked. The taller man kissed and sucked along his neck, drinking in his moans as he continued to derobe him.
"A-ah...Sho-kun...there...nn...!!" he gasped, back arching into the stone. He clung to the larger man's body, shamelessly calling his lover's name. "Nnnngh!" He choked on a moan as the man seized him, his cheeks flushing. "Sh...sho-kun...nn..." He opened his eyes, nearly screaming when he saw the blonde vampire. "Sh-sho! Sho!!" The guard didn't cease, thinking he was still caught up in the moment. He jumped when he felt the smaller man pinching him.
"What is it?" The shorter man pointed over his shoulder at Kei.
"I-it's the Kings--"
"Kei-sama?" Huh. It really was the guard from earlier. Turning around, he placed his disinterested and uncaring facade back in place, walking back to the stairwell. What did it matter to him, the trysts of some guard and another man? True, he had felt a tingle of curiosity, perhaps even a tinge of jealousy, while watching their interactions, his first emotions in a long time. It baffled him, the way they both seemed so alive. It made him wonder...was it possible to feel pleasure from this? Perhaps, when his master came tonight...No. He couldn't take pleasure in being in the arms of someone other than his love.
That night, when his lover came, he was waiting for him. He sat in the lamplight by the table, his head held high. He had been practicing what he would say all day so his voice would not crack from dissuse. His master furrowed his brows.
"What is this?"
Kei, after a stony silence, answered. "Not tonight. Not tonight, or ever again."
The taller man looked confused. "What are you talking about?"
A bit of the real Kei broke through the uncaring facade. "I am never opening my legs to you again. I will not share a bed with you, nor will I let you touch me anymore. Never again." The confusion in his eyes turned to pure fury.
"It is not your place to tell me what I cannot do." He had seized the collar of his robe, pulling the smaller man forward.
"I. Just. Did." Kei couldn't help the smartass tone in his voice. Now that the real Kei was shining through, he could no longer stifle him. His master, however, would damn well try. He raised his other fist, pulling back to punch him. Kei would have dodged and broken away, but he hadn't fed. The man easily took hold of him, planning to kiss him. For the first time in so long, Kei fought. He kicked and screamed and bit, but it was of no use. He was too weak, always, always too weak. He fell into darkness to the sounds of the echoes of his dying screams.
(a/n) My first non-smutty fic in quite awhile...So leave good reviews! XD
