Okay, y'all! Who remembers A Misty Mystery 2? This is for those avid Misty fans who want it all! In celebration of my college graduation, my amazing younger brother has been persuaded to write another Misty Spoof! What makes this even more special, is that it was a collaboration. :-) Ms. Alicia Hardy, whom you should know and if you don't please go find her on my favorites list!, and myself both...inserted...certain lines as my brother was writing. Also...you should know that there were side conversations going on which the "computer" participated in, so...if something doesn't really get answered or doesn't make total sense, it's cause it was part of a conversation outside the story, but the "author" didn't break character while conversing, so...here's the result!

Misty is MINE! Alicia is Alicia Hardy's. And Stevel Seagal...well, he's just a bonus. ;-) Please let us know what you think of A Misty Space Spoof! (If you like, maybe I can get him to do another!)

A Misty Space Spoof

One day, Misty stopped suddenly. "That's odd," she thought. I don't remember the earth looking so small. "Wait," she said out loud, "I don't remember being in SPACE!"

Then Ned Nickerson swooped in beside her and took her into his arms-wait, Misty, not Alicia…SORRY! Continue.

Ned then dropped "Misty, not Alicia" and proceeded to make a cup of space coffee because SPACE COFFEE!

I thought it was because we were out of space tea…

Just then, Misty noticed something so interesting, so unimaginable, that the author of the story had to pause because he didn't know what is was.

It was a red-headed merpmaid riding a purple unicorn. "I wonder what they are doing in space," she wondered aloud. "And how could they possibly breathe?"

Just then the judgemental computer voice projected over the intercom "Misty, why are you always thinking aloud? You think you are Nancy Drew?" It scoffed.

"Doesn't someone have to narrate if she isn't here?" she asked.

Just then Nancy walked in the room wearing a spacesuit. "But for real, why is there a unicorn riding a merpmaid?" Nancy asked.

"It's not a Merpmaid at all!" A voice called from the airlock. "It's just the Hardy's Macgyvering up a spacesuit! ...Will you let us in?"

Suddenly, the red-headed merpmaid gasped for breath as she was let into the spaceship. Frank and Joe shed the unicorn suit. Joe was at the tail end, of course. And Alicia shed the merpmaid suit. And somehow, they looked even more ridiculous outside of the suit than they did beforehand.

"Not surprising" the computer voice mused. "They aren't nearly as clever as the author of this story."

"Sorry," Frank apologized, ignoring the voice, coolly as ever. "Joe-"

"We got locked out of our own space car," Joe threw his thumb over his shoulder.

"Uh-huh," Frank said with a look of impatience, "That's the story you're going with?"

"But wait, why a merpmaid?"

Suddenly everyone went quiet as an ominous tap, tick, tap sounded from outside the hull. A second later, the exact same.

"But if we're in here…?" Joe started.

"Not now" Frank said. "Lets fan out and check this place out."

"You might be clever, but I project a 63.4% chance that you all die," the computer voice piped up, a noncommitted tone as ever.

"We just put on a pot of space coffee," Misty offered, her face sour at the idea.

Meanwhile, Alicia sidled over to Ned and sat next to him. "Whacha drinking?"

"Space coffee," he replied.

Alicia, severely disappointed with this answer, sat quietly moping.

"Are you all deaf?!" Nancy roared, "Did you not just hear the creepy computer voice?!"

"Yeah," Frank said nonchalantly. "He's off by 40%. We're all going to die...someday…."

Joe shrugged, "I don't know about you, but I'm planning to live forever." He grinned, clasping his hands behind his head and finding a seat near Alicia.

"Hey Joe," Alicia said with a cruel smile. "No space Mini M&M's."

Just then, the author returned from his roommate begging him to go buy him a soda to put in his whiskey. "The plot waits for no man!" He put in quotation marks.

"This author thinks he's rather clever, doesn't he?" Nancy narrated. Again…

"Careful," the computer said for the narrator. "He has no attachments to you and will kill you off just as easily as Misty's cup of tea."

"Hey!" Misty protested, staring vaguely at the ceiling, for she didn't know where the computer voice came from, "I don't like tea!"

"Wait…" Joe sat up, "Can we go back to the serious lack of Mini M&M's? Space isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know."

Just then, a crack in the viewscreen appeared. "I guess it is cracked up." Everyone turned to see the source of the disturbance, and it was none other than Steven Seagal. He was in space with nothing but a pair of cargo shorts and an indian war necklace. "I'm here for the velociraptor," he said, emotionless.

"Wait, what are you doing here!?"

Alicia leaned over to Ned, whispering, "Hey, what did that computer say was our chance of survival again?"

Joe and Frank ran to get spacesuits and deal with the problem firsthand. Misty and Nancy just stood around in imminent danger and thought about the problem.

The merpmaid..."Haha, what is a merpmaid?" The computer voice asked for the narrator. The merpmaid did what merpmaids do, it flopped around gasping for water on the deck.

"SPARKLES!" She cried "I NEED MORE SPARKLES!"

Plot twist, every Nancy drew mystery needs one.

"NED!" Misty ran over as the former football player in space slumped over.

"It's the space coffee!" Alicia's nose wrinkled at his cup, "Someone poisoned him," she accused, pointing at Misty suspiciously.

"It looks like he needs CPR!"

HAHA! "I'll do it!" ALicia volunteered quickly!" Joe looks sad at this, but turns to continue putting on his space suit.

"Not a genius," the computer corrects, just a know it all."

Steven Seagal, not to be daunted by all of the side plots or lack thereof going on, continues to pound on the glass with his teddy bear hands, the very hands he borrowed from an actual "teddy?" bear.

Nancy finally pipes up" I haveth an ideath" in her usual room-silencing fashion.

"Well, you haven't been doing much but thinking apparently," Frank folded his arms, annoyed, "It's about time you had an idea."

"BURN!" Joe called from his spacesuit

Meanwhile, after a vigorous rececitation, Alicia was looking at a cabinet. "It's locked."

"Hey," Ned suddenly sat up, "Did someone say raptor? Hey, Joe, where are those space car keys?! I'm outta here!"

"Take me with you!" Alicia cried, giving up her dream of being a girl detective to run off with the guy who dated the girl detective.

"Steven," Nancy says, ignoring her so-called friends. "May I call you Steven?"

"Steven Seagal" He says without breaking his attack on the plexiglass.

"What if I told you that you could kill your velociraptor without breaking this glass and letting all this precious atmosphere out?" Nancy said. "I know how much you care about the environment being dressed as a indian half the time."

"Keep talking" Seagal says, and it's not a suggestion.

"What if you were to go back to a previous story, say where Misty destroys a whole city, causing massive pollution, and then turns into a velociraptor?"

"I see where you're going with this," the computer says.

"Not now," Seagal says, and again it's not a suggestion. "I have decided to be one with nature...he pauses, and to go kill this velociraptor." Without another word he shoved off the glass, hurtling himself at the speed of sound back to the Earth, just as a smoke-like cloud could be seen from space from the middle of France.

"...Can I still run off with Ned now that the danger has passed?" Alicia asked.

"Thought "Danger" was your middle name," Misty taunted, still sore about the accusation from earlier.

"No, that's Klutz," Joe added.

"Or beauty," Ned stared dreamily after her.

"Not sure that poison hasn't completely left your system…" Joe eyed Ned warily. It was still his little sister after all.

And they all lived happily ever after, or at least the computer did. The others ran out of food and oxygen after a couple of years and were never seen again.

But Alicia got to be with Ned for a brief time, before he died of food poisoning by Frank's hand.

Mike drop…