Inspired by Eric Whitacre´s "Lux Aurumque"
The tall figure slumped down the dark staircase. Akihito couldn´t move. Heat and freezing cold battled inside his chest, he only looked. He didn´t dare moving down. The body did no longer move. It took only one blink of an eye to make the shaking body scream to his owner to get out of there. Akihito followed the command, grabbed his camera bag and ran down the stairs. With a jump, he crossed over the body, only to freeze again momentarily to turn around and take a terrified look at the blood on the floor. Had he stepped into it? He had no strength to move his feet to look at his shoe soles.
As he glanced over his shoulder, he saw the golden eyes, only for a minute, then they were gone. "What have you done?", they asked.
Get out. Run.
He turned and ran.
With a jolt, Akihito sat up. The light blinded him, he felt cold hands grab onto him, pushed them away in panic, screamed out, moved away. He fell down to a sticky carpet, hit his elbow on something hard and tried to move away, only his body wouldn´t move.
"Akihito!" Asami´s voice rang through the cold hot air.
"No! Nothing!", he replied hastily, still trying to get his legs to carry him away.
"Akihito, look at me! It´s me!"
Finally, he could make out a face.
Asami slowly knelt down to the terrified boy.
"Akihito", he said calmly, reaching out with his palm upside, but not touching the fragile boy. "You are safe. It was a dream. It was just a dream."
He watched as his young lover focused his eyes on him, struggling to return into reality. He didn´t dare to move, the boy was already afraid enough. He felt his chest tighten at the sight.
"May I touch you?", he carefully asked.
Silence. Only the ragged breathing from Akihito´s open mouth. He blinked insecurely. Asami felt him drift in open space. His upper arms tensed and reached forward to catch the trembling boy.
With infinite tenderness Asami closed his arms around the body. He felt Akihito shiver in his arms, tense up and let go again, his skin wet with sweat and hot in fever. After a few moments, Akihito´s head dropped onto his shoulder.
"Cold", he whispered out.
"You have a slight fever", Asami answered, holding the naked body even closer, and starting to pull it up.
He followed his partner´s pained gaze to the slightly blood stained bed sheets and reacted quickly. He´d seen the photos from the scene, Akihito must have been terrified, blood stains were the last thing he needed to see right now. After all, he did not watch people die with split skulls on a regular basis. The image must have haunted him through his painful nightmare.
As he set down the hot frame on his own side of the bed, Akihito grabbed onto his hand in desperation. With only a quick swing, Asami pushed away the bloody sheet and towel, onto the floor, only to not have the boy look at it. Engulfed in his scent, he would surely go back to sleep within minutes. He lay down next to Akihito and covered them with the duvet, in hopes the boy would stop shivering soon.
The shaking hand reached out to Asami´s chest and caressed him with its palm, sliding into the bathrobe and onto his shoulder. Instantly getting the message, he untied the robe, stripped it away and moved even closer to Akihito.
"Want to tell me about that dream?", Asami asked cautiously, but with a reassuring tone.
"It was just a dream", Akihito answered sleepily.
He couldn´t possibly tell Asami.
"You shouldn´t blame yourself for anything, Akihito. Anything you did last night was only a reaction to violence. This is not your fault."
"I shouldn´t have run away. I shouldn´t have come back here. Asami, I am so sorry."
"Do I have to repeat myself about you apologising?"
Akihito started sobbing uncontrollably into his lover´s chest. His body tensed up in reflex when he felt hands running up his spine. He needed to actively tell his body to relax. Why was this so different? He had been raped before. He had been taken by other men before. Why could he not stand his lover now caressing him? When the hands reached up to hold the spot over the collar bone, Akihito´s body finally really panicked. He shoved the tall man away instantly, who let go immediately.
"What´s wrong? Akihito?"
He needed to speak it out. But it hurt so much.
In torment Akihito cried out: "He held me there! He pushed me down. It hurts so much."
"This is not your fault, Akihito."
"I shouldn´t have run away."
"Stop!", his lover commanded. It shook Akihito to his bones. "I cannot watch you fall apart like this, Akihito. I can do many things, but not this. Not standing by while you torture yourself about something that is not your fault. And even if it was more than just an accident, it was only a reaction. You didn´t do this, Akihito, and I know that. Don´t let yourself slip away. I can´t watch it."
Within seconds, the urge to cry had gone. He really couldn´t do this to Asami. He needed to give back control. As he gazed into the golden eyes, Akihito slowly crawled back into his lover´s arms, letting them surround him, envelope him, comfort him.
"Make me forget, Asami."
"I will. Don´t worry. Go back to sleep, I´ll hold you if the nightmare comes back. You have a fever, you need to rest."
Rest. What a wonderful feeling. Rest.
When Akihito´s restless eyes had finally closed, Asami noticed the dark spots around his shoulder and neck. How could he not have seen them earlier? The events had shaken him too, had taken away some of his ability to read through situations. He took a deep breath. The sun made his lover´s hair sparkle with light and gold.
