I own nothing and I make no money.

Here I am … again. Yeah yeah yeah Aya I know I'm mean, a sadist and … mad Oo hmm maybe, in any case you have to suffer like always. I put my emotions into my storys so sorry for the up and downs

I hope I get some reviews but no flame please.

Oh before I forget when I say "cry" I don't mean the girlish whiny kind … our boy still have their pride and aren't cry babys. So don't get me wrong I don't want to make wimps out of them.

Blind

Aya and Yohji stood on the roof of the Koneko, it was a cold and rainy night and not only the weather wasn't peaceful.

„Why did you do this? " Aya asked cold but in his eyes mirrored hurt and despair.

"Why?" Yohji asked angry "We are a couple for four months but you`re still so cold and I have needs too" he looked down on the street to avoid Ayas gaze.

"That's no reason to fuck the first that comes along" Aya hissed and Yohji finally turned around.

"Why are you so damn cold? Still now you're cold as ice, why can't you show any emotions?" Yohji yelled frustrated "I can't stand you".

"Do you love me?" Aya asked, he knew it was the wrong topic but he must know it.

"What?" Yohji asked confused "… of course" he added a bit softer.

"But you couldn't wait for me" Aya looked to the ground; he tried to hold his protective wall upright.

"How long should I wait, we didn't make any progress" Yohji asked serious and stared at Aya.

"You don't love me enough, if you would love me you had given more time to me" Aya said and sent Yohji a death-glare mixed with hurt, despair and disappointment.

"Don't look at me like that" Yohji hissed dangerous "I love you but you can't change"

"No you don't "Aya said in a tone which could let your blood freeze.

Yohji was swamped, he felt how rage boiled inside him and without to think or realize it, he slapped Aya.

It was the first time he could really see emotions in Ayas icy violet eyes, the hurt and shocked look in Ayas eyes let his heart ache.

Aya looked helpless for the first time, he was speechless and only stared at Yohji but after a few seconds he was ready to defend himself.

"I should be the one who ask if you love me … Don't look at me like that" Yohji yelled, Ayas sight was so unreal "don't ever look at me again"

Aya turned around and vanished inside the house, on the way into his room he met Omi and Ken and he knew they heard everything, he could see it in their eyes.

Aya passed them without a word and locked himself inside his dark and cold room; he fell on his bed and touched his burning cheek

~ It hurt … it hurt … I should have shown him what I feel, it's my fault!

On top of that I made him angry, the look in his eyes scared me… so full of rage.

I want to see the beautiful emerald eyes never again…

My fault my fault my fault my fault ~

As Aya ran away from him, he felt guilt wash over him but Yohji still stood on the roof and looked into the sky and ignored the cold rain on his skin,

~ I didn't want that … it wasn't my intention to hurt him … oh god I really slapped him and said he isn't allowed to look at me

I must fix it … I will fix It (sigh) I love him, I really do~

Yohji went back into the house and stopped in front of Ayas door, he wanted to knock but he couldn't find the strength.

He rested his head on Ayas door and touched the strong wood of the door "I'm sorry" he muttered but he was kicked out of his thoughts as he heard Aya sob.

~ Aya cries? … Did I break him?! … What have I done again, why couldn't I trust him … help him?

I' m so sorry ….. so sorry, are you really crying ~

Somehow he found the strength to knock but he got no answer, he tried it again and again but Aya was too tired and hurt to answer him.

"Yohji give up" Omi said, Yohji didn't notice that the young boy stood next to him "give him time"

"but" Yohji whispered "… I want to see him, to tell him the truth, to care for him"

"I think it's too late to apologize … I mean you hit him and you betrayed him" Ken interfered, he was pissed that Yohji ruined their halfway intact family life.

"I will make everything all right" Yohji said serious and went into his room he couldn't stand the reproachful look in their eyes.