On the Set - By Mad Duck

Dis: Don't own Yugi-oh. Deny any involvement in script swopping ;)

Producer: Alright then everyone listen up. Ratings are dropping so we're going to try something different on the show from now on. Here's the new scripts for the week. #hands out scripts# Read 'em, learn 'em and love 'em. Got it!

#Everyone glances at scripts#

Kaiba: Hang on! There must be a mistake. According to this I'm supposed to be nice to these dorks!

Producer: Oh sorry, that is a mistake.

Kaiba: #relieved# oh good

Producer: This is the right copy. #hands correct copy of script# Your supposed to be admitting that the reason you hate Yugi is because you're in love with Tea. But you know you can never have her because she's in love with the pharaoh.

Kaiba: #shocked# You've got to be kidding me!

Joey: #trying to stop laughing#

Kaiba: #Thowing Joey a menacing death glare# what's so funny Wheeler?

Producer: #continues# Yeah, you're heartbroken over the fact, so later on page 100 you're going to be consoled by Serenity and you two are just going to click and end up together.

Joey: #shocked# Say what! You're letting that creep date my sister!

Producer: #sighs# Look, Joey…

Pharoah: #interrupting# What's the point of me challenging Kaiba to the duel on page 300? We all know I'll beat him.

Kaiba: Hey,Watch it punk.

Producer: That one was a brainwave. After Serenity and Kaiba get together you realize you love her and challenge him for her heart.

Joey: But the Pharoah wins right. Please say the pharaoh wins.

Producer: Actually Serenity arrives in the middle of the duel, freaks out, and scolds Yami for trying to break her and Kaiba up. If you read more than the first few pages you'd have seen that. No one wins the duel because she ended it.

#Everyone looks stunned, shocked, ect. Flips to page with duel on it.#

Yugi: The Pharoah gets drunk afterwards!

Producer: Yeah, another one of his 'I-feel-bad-cause-I-did-something-wrong' sulks.

Yugi: But…drunk? How in the world would he get drunk?

Yami Bakura: Did you miss the part where I found him stuck in self pity and in an #shivers# act of kindness took him to forget his sorrows?

Tristan: Uh…Why in the world would you do that?

Yami Bakura: Are you really that stupid. Get him drunk, take the Millennium puzzle. No duh!

Producer: (smiles) Thank you Yami Bakura. I'm glad someone around here is attempting to work with the new script.

Yami Bakura: (smiles a laid back, evil smile) Just doing my job sir.

Producer: Besides getting Yami/ Yugi drunk is perfect for the cliffhanger. The writers for the next script are deciding weither he's going to get laid,

#Kaiba instantly covers Mokuba's ears. Every one except those with evil in their souls go pale as producer continues#

Or if Yami Bakura is going to take him under his wing and go after Kaiba to kill him. If the writers do that they want to have the Pharaoh attack Joey instead because obviously Joey's against his sister and Kaiba being together and will be at Kaiba Corps trying to talk her out of it on a dark night when Yami wouldn't be-able to distinguish the two. That will really eat him up.

Tea: But wait a minute, why are you doing this? The previous storylines were fine!

Kaiba: I agree!

Yugi: Me too!

Yami Bakura: Not me. This one sounds a lot better.

Producer: Like I said. Our ratings have been going down since they put on that new show Dragonballz with its fighting and aliens and super-sayins. All the regular shows are suffering at the moment because of it.

Kaiba: So how does this new storyline bring back our ratings?

Producer: Simple. It's viewer interaction.

#Every one either looks stumped or like the producer has lost his mind#

Mokuba: Viewer What?

Producer: The writers have been doing some research on the Main fanweb site to see what the public really wants.

#Few of the cast start going pale. Mutters something along the lines of: Main..Fan…Web…#

Producer: Basicaly this is stuff that the viewers suggested. We're just going with the flow. Like #flips through clipboard# :

Why is Kaiba always so mean to everyone. Yugi and his friends have saved his butt more times than you can count but he is still a jerk.

You know, they really should bring Serendity back. She was hot.

Yugi loves Tea but she loves the pharaoh…who does he love?It's sorta confusing.

Wouldn't it be weird if the pharaoh went evil…Bakura and Marik went evil.

Why doesn't Kaiba have a girlfriend? He's smarter and better looking and more loyal than anyone else in the show but he still gets treated badly. What's up with that?

It's pathetic that Yugi needs a 5000 year old dead guy to help him duel. He would never last in a match if he didn't have the pharaoh with him.

What's with Teas' cheerleading act? Talk about pathetic.

Why is Wheeler even in this? Unless he's in that dog suit, he has no real purpose in the show.

#Cast go quiet in an embarrassed kind of way.#

Producer: Right, so who wants to please explain first?

#More embarrassed cast silence#

Joey: Um, Hehe. Well ya see Mr Producer. It's like this…

Producer : #Crossly# What it is, is you guys have been using our viewer suggestion board to put your own stupid notes up.

#flips through more pages# not enough ice cream in the show. Mokuba

#Mokuba grins sheepishly.#

Producer: Now I'm say this for the last time. LEAVE THE BOARD ALONE!

#Cast covers ears#

Bakura : #frowning*You didn't need to shout asshole. We're all here.

Producer: WHA! OH #fiddles with mike hooked on his shirt # Sorry about that. The sound guys must be fooling around with the equipments again. This things meant to be off. Like I was saying, Leave the board on the Website alone. It's for fans only to have their say. Not for you guys to blast one another behind each others backs."

#Cast nodds# : Yes sir

Producer: Good. Now here's your scripts. Learn your lines and have fun.

Few minutes later as everyone goes through their lines.

Bakura #throws script on floor real diva style and folds his arms.#: This script is pathetic

Producer #sighs#: What's wrong Bakura

Bakura #folds arms and glares# : I don't get to kill the pharoh in this one.

Producer: Bukura do you remember our view ratings. Unfortunately having you kill the pharaoh or anyone else doesn't fit in with it. That's why you normally send them to the shadow relm remember."

Bukura But he controls the shadow relm too. I can't send him there.

#Yami sticks his tongue out for Bakura and makes rude gesture.#

#Tristan is keeping Bukura back from Yami.#

#Marik is encouraging fight#

#Joey is holding Yami back from Bukura#

#Kaiba doesn't care less what the idiots are getting up too and is going through his lines while Mokuba reads the script and munches an ice-cream#

#Producers ulcer is acting up.#

Producer: Alright you guys, save it for the movie! We rate it 18 for language and violence and let you do your own stunts and you can kill one another then."

Bukura: Perfect! I'm gonna send you to join your ancestors Pharoah!

YAmi: As usual you are mistaken tomb raider, for you are the one who will be joining the ancients.

Producer: You'll both be joining the unemployed if we don't get this ep shot today. Am I UNDERSTOOD!

Bukura & Yami: Yes Sir!

#Walks off to quickly take places on set, whispering to each other#

Bukura: What's his problem?

Yami: I do not know. Poor man is so stressed lately.

Bukara: I know. Maybe his chick left him or something.

Yami: Maybe we could all club in and get him a ticket for a vacation somewhere. Get his mind off things.

Bukara #smiles a brainstorm smile#: Like Egypt

Yami #smiles back#: That's brillent Bakura. He'll love it

#Bukara and Yami shake hands before separating.#

#Producer cries in his trailer and vows he never wants to have anything or see anything to do with Egyptian stuff again when the series is over#

Fin