Hitting On My Man

A/N: Just a collection of one shots about men/women who hit on Kurt and Blaine and it makes the other jealous! Becuase I love jealous Klaine! Rated M just to be safe!

Kurt was not the jealous type, he absolutely did not get jealous of women! Blaine is his husband for crying out loud, he wasn't so much jealous as he was annoyed. Women hit on his husband far more often than he would care to admit, and he would just appreciate being able to go out with his husband for a night on the town without people fawning over the man he was in love with and the father of his children.

One Saturday Kurt, Blaine, their son Kyle and daughter Bree were out doing their groceries when an interesting looking women walked up to them and tapped Blaine, his Blaine, on the shoulder. This lady wasn't unattractive per se, but her bleach blond hair and ginormous boobs that seemed to pop out of her tube top at every possible exit was not very flattering. She was also chewing this piece of gum- No not chewing, popping! And it was super annoying.

"Hey there cutie, I'm Lisa what's your name?" she asked trying her best too look sexy while twirling her hair in her fingers and popping her gum. But of course Mr. Oblivious-to-everything also known as Blaine Hummel-Anderson didn't have a clue she was hitting on him so dapper as always he introduced himself.

"Hi Lisa I'm Blaine nice to meet you," he said politely. Kurt made a mental note to make Blaine wash his hand before he touched him or their children, nobody knew what kind of germs that women could have and judging by the fact that her skirt only covered half of her ass Kurt was guessing it was a lot.

Kyle, the older of their two children at age five tugged on the hem of Kurt's tight black t-shirt. "Daddy?" he asked.

"Yes buddy?" asked Kurt.

"Why is that ugly women talking to Papa like that? She looks like she's going to kiss him, and that's gross enough when you and Papa do it!" he made a yuck noise and Kurt giggled.

"Okay, first it's rude to call people ugly."

"But-"

"No buts, and second I'm going to quickly tell Papa it's time to leave okay so you stay sitting in the cart okay, I'm only going to be three feet away so no funny business!" Kurt kissed the top of their heads then headed over to where Blaine looked slightly uncomfortable under Lisa's predatory gaze.

He walked over to the two and leaned against Blaine's side, Blaine's face immediately softened at the familiar touch of his husband of 8 years.

"Excuse me, but this cutie was just about to ask me on a date so if you could just go away that would be great!" she said with a wink. Blaine's arm instinctively wrapped itself around Kurt's waist and Kurt put one hand on Blaine's back and the other on his shoulder.

"Oh he was now?" he asked. She nodded a little confused. "You see sweet heart I don't think that was very true because this 'cutie' as you were calling him is my husband of 8 years and those children-" he pointed to his buggy which was jusy 3 feet away "-are our children, so if you are still convinced you were about to be asked out then please, let him tell you for himself." Kurt smiled and placed his lips hungirly but chastley on Blaine's. Lisa just turned around and stormed out of the store muttering something about 'all the cute one's being gay.'

"Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning," teased Blaine before planting a hungry kiss on Kurt's lips, they were brought back to reality by the sound of their 4 year old daughter Bree's voice.

"Daddy didn't have bitch flakes this morning Papa, he had cheerios!" she said with a huge smile on her face. Both men's eyes widened when they realized that they had essentially taught their 4 year old a swear word.

"What are bitch flakes Papa, and why would you think Daddy was eating them?" asked Kyle who looked slightly confused.

"Uhmm, Kurt?" said Blaine praying that Kurt would answer this one for them. But because karma's a bitch Blaine had no such luck. Kurt leaned in super close to his ear and whispered;

"Uh uh uh, you started this and besides I had my bitch flakes this morning so I'm not in a helping mood," teased Kurt as he went down the next aisle to grab some baby cookies.

"Uhmm, those things I said Daddy was eating-" Blaine started.

"Bitch flakes?" said Bree.

"Right those, they are an adult cereal that you will learn all about one day when you are much older, but when you are little like you guys, you are not aloud to say the name okay?" asked Blaine, hoping he made sense to the two little ones.

"Okay Papa!" they chimed together.

Kurt was standing just hidden behind the shelf at one of the ends of the aisle. He loved watching Blaine interact with their kids and some skank was not going to get in the way of their happy family.