This one's all Moochie, ya'll. I'm just posting.

A.N.: I've been knocking this ficlet "one-shot" idea around in my head for a few days, and finally decided to tackle it. It passed Prairie24's strict review, so hope ya'll have a laugh! I have purposely not given Mrs. Grissom, The Elder, a first name, so that I'll not mess up whatever becomes the "canon" on her name. Many thanks to Prairie24 for getting this posted for us.

Categories: Gil and Sara. Humor. Rating: Clean as a whistle. Less than T. for teens. Is there a K for kids, LOL?

The 1st Mrs. Grissom

Sara Sidle, the second "Mrs. Grissom" in the life of a certain entomologist of our acquaintance, sighed deeply as the ramrod straight back of her 80 year old Mother-In-Law disappeared through the security clearance at McCarran Int'l Airport. The formidable librarian was on her way to Paris to visit the previously mentioned entomologist (Think: berate said son on why he wasn't home making grandbabies for her to enjoy). And Sara had managed to survive "THE VISIT FROM HELL." Some thought she might not (Think: redheaded shift supervisor).

It had been a very difficult two weeks (Think: understatement of the century). Mother Grissom was a sweet-looking, aristocratic, stubborn, and incredibly intelligent woman who DID-NOT-LIKE her son's choice of a mate. She much preferred the young (well, youngish), sophisticated, sleek, blonde woman who had accompanied her to Las Vegas in order to share a few days vacation with her husband. The fact that the companion was fluent in American Sign Language was a huge plus. Sara was not so fluent which was another mark against Gilbert's choice. It was Mrs. G.'s opinion that her son had really screwed up when he let the "whip-smart" and stylish blonde fade out of his life.

"She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed" had openly clashed with her equally strong and determined daughter-in-law. Over everything, and nothing. Gil had begun to dread checking his email. Between the sarcastic and complaining emails from his Mother AND his beloved, totally pissed off wife, Gil's ears were metaphysically blistered. And on the one occasion when he and Sara managed a video Skype visit, they really burned! And you don't even want to know what his Mother signed to him when Sara let her have a few minutes of Skype time to see her "Dear Boy."

Catherine, Lou, Jim, Nick, Ray, Doc, SuperDave, and all Lab Rats started to hide when the shadow of the steaming Sara came within range. Only Greggo hung on as her confidant and "sounding board." Nothing his Sara said or did would detract from his boyish adoration of the long legged, and utterly beleaguered, object of his infatuation.

What was amazing though, is that it all worked out. Despite their initial hostility and distrust, Sara and Mother G. had come to a grudging respect of each other. When they reached the point that Mrs. G., The Elder, understood that Sara was correct in her suspicion of Mom's companion, they started working together instead of fighting each other tooth-and-nail. With that, slowly came actual interest in each other (Think: Mom G. emailed Gil that she had changed her mind. Sara wasn't a total bitch. Emphasis on "total").

Sara and The Mama had proved that Teri Miller Olsen (Yeah, THAT Teri Miller. Is there any other?), murdered her meek and mousy little schoolteacher husband. When Jim Brass cuffed her and started reading Teri her rights, Mrs. G., Senior, had shocked the ever-living daylights out of Sara by "high-fiving" her right in front of everyone.

That night, after a terrific vegetarian dinner out, courtesy of Gil's Mommy (Think: major sacrifice since The Mama loves her prime rib), they shared a bottle of outstanding Ducati Chianti Reserve 2006. Sara signed brokenly, but said clearly to her former "Monster-in-Law" questions about what she was going to do in Paris while visiting Gil. His Mother spoke back, in the raspy dulled voice of the deaf, "Talk to him about why he's over there and not over here with his very intractable (Think: hey, look it up), but lovely wife." Sara laughed, signed slowly and spoke: "Good luck with that. He won't listen. That's one lecture that will do the proverbial 'in one ear and out the other." His Mother responded with "Then I'll do what I did when he was six years old and almost blew up our home with the chemistry set he got for his birthday. Even though he had been warned never to use it inside the house." Sara raised a questioning eyebrow and signed "And that was?" His Mother grinned and slowly moved her fingers to say "Spank him, of course." Sara spewed chianti onto the coffee table and then laughed her ass off. During the course of the rest of the wine-affected evening Sara learned that her husband's Mother had an incredibly sharp and wicked sense of humor.

Now she turned to Greg and thanked him for driving them to airport and helping with Mama G.'s luggage. "No problem, Sara," the cheeky CSI said back to her. After a few moments Greg popped up with, "You know, Sara, it's an amazing resemblance isn't it?" "Huh, what are you talking about Greg?" "Your Mummy-in-Law. You mean you didn't notice? Good Lord, how could you miss it?" "Miss WHAT Greg?" Sara huffed, slightly annoyed. Greg grinned the biggest smile his mouth would allow. "That your Mother-in-Law looks exactly, and I mean EXACTLY, like Betty White!" Sara's jaw dropped and she just stared back at Greg. Then she thought about it and her brain went: "Holy S&*#, he's right." She smiled her famous "Sidle Smile" and thought how much endless fun she was going to have kidding "Gil-bear" about it.

The end.

Additional A.N.: I am technologically challenged and have no concept about how to start a petition on Facebook to get Betty White cast as Gil's Mom. If anyone on the board agrees with me that she's a great choice, and knows how to do a petition on Facebook, please do so forsooth (Think: right now, LOL!). And then email me through our partnership site that it's up 'cause I want to be one of the first to sign it!