Disclaimer: I promise you I am not JKR, so therefore, I don't own Harry Potter. It is like a logic proof.
"Astoria? Are you Astoria Greengrass?" A man, tall and blonde, stood in front of me. He had an imposing air, as if he considered himself better than everyone around him. I decided that I didn't like him.
"Maybe, depends on who's looking for her." I answered back, a nasty tone taking over my voice. No one bosses me around. I am a big girl, and can deal with anything. Well, mostly anything. Apparently, I can't live with my best friend, in the United States, while I have living family.
A horrid thought crossed my mind. This man couldn't be my uncle. Oh, God, I would kill myself.
"I am Lucius Malfoy. I will be escorting you to your aunt's house." Hallelujah! I wasn't related to him. "I am assuming your mother is, well, was Deirdre Greengrass." My throat tightened as he said Mom's name.
Mom died three months ago. She had raised me, with Daddy, until they had been killed in a car accident. I had her build, but everything else was Daddy's. I was one of those kids that everyone thought was adopted. Mom was tall, with ice blue eyes and long blonde hair. Her skin was the color of milk, or something romantic like that. On the other hand, I had coffee skin, curly black hair, and wide brown eyes. I looked like my Daddy, Chioke Agu. He and Mom were never formally married, so I have Mom's last name.
I shook my head, to get my thought back to the present. I followed Lucius Malfoy, as he made his way to the fireplace. I saw him pause in front of it, and glance at me.
"Should I assume you know how to use Floo Powder?" Did he sneeze? What was he talking about?
"Did you just sneeze?" He sighed heavily. I felt bad. Maybe he has some incurable disease where he randomly sneezes. And then he's going to die. I should apologize. "I am sorry for reminding you of your incurable disease where you sneeze randomly, and which will eventually kill you in some painful, drawn out way." Oops, that wasn't good.
He blinked. Slowly, in the tone one uses when talking to idiots, he explained to me how to use Floo Powder. Before I knew it, I was stepping into a fireplace, and on my way to my new home.
"Where was your father from?" My aunt asked politely. It was clear she was trying to figure out how I was black. I am used to it. Yes, it gets annoying, but I am proud to look so much like my father. I love him very much, still do, even though he is dead. My aunt had married my mom's brother, and was thoroughly annoying. I vowed to make my time with her as unpleasant as possible.
"Nigeria, Aunt Victoria." I didn't like her much. She was cold, and seemed to only care about the way I acted, and what I wore. Superficial things.
"And he was a wizard?" It came out as a question, but I guessed she knew the truth. Daddy was a Muggle. He loved mom's magic though. It was cute, watching how excited it made him. He always asked Mom to levitate things, or conjure up things. Later, he asked me to, once I started to learn how to do magic.
"No, he was a Muggle." Silence raced around the room. Aunt Victoria and Lucius Malfoy looked shocked. "What, something wrong with Muggles?" I became angry. All of my friends were Muggles, Mom insisted I go to a Muggle school. She tutored me, at home, in magic.
"Muggles are animals, Astoria dear. I can't believe your mother sunk so low. You may be a half-blood, but I believe you can overcome it." Lucius spoke, his voice casual. It was as if he was talking about the weather. I couldn't believe it. No way was he saying that. This was some elaborate joke.
"You've got to be kidding me." My voice was flat.
"No, Muggles, and Mudbloods, are inferior to you. Mudbloods are Muggle-born witches and wizards." He actually believed this crap. He actually believed it. He must be insane. "You must let go of your attachments to them. The Dark Lord may be defeated, but his ideas live on."
"No. In fact, I rather like my Muggle friends. They are superior to you in every way, because they have morals and don't judge. You are a bigoted asshole. If you want me to respect you, you better learn to treat others with respect. I am proud of my parentage, I will not try to cover it up. So, get a life, and stop worshipping the dead Lord Voldy-warts. Or whoever he was." I snapped, before storming out of the room.
As I turned a corner, I ran right into a boy who was the image of Lucius "I am a bigoted idiot" Malfoy, only younger. I glared angrily at him. He probably was some kind of asshole too. He seemed to be about two years older than me.
"Who are you?" He spat, shooting me a death glare.
"Astoria Greengrass. Don't bother trying to get to know me, it's guaranteed I won't like you. You're probably just like the bigoted ass you call your father." I didn't know he was IBI's (I am a Bigoted Idiot) son, but I was pretty sure. "Stay out of my way, and you won't get your head cursed up your ass."
As I walked away, I had no idea his eyes followed me. I didn't hear his whispered, "What a woman!"
I glided down the stairs, wearing a dress. While this may seem not a point to emphasize, it was very important indeed. I was going to a Wizarding Ball, held by my aunt and uncle. Everyone else would be wearing dress robes, since they considered Muggles beneath them. I was making a statement, a showing of where my loyalties were.
I was being manipulative. It was a reminder that I was a half-blood, that I liked Muggles, and that I knew how to dress. Normally, I wouldn't gloat on a dress, but this was a steal. It had a brown bodice, covered in sequins and an empire waist. I liked that, because it made me look like I had a chest. Seriously, don't listen to the people who say small boobs are a blessing. It sucks, plain and simple. These A-cups do me nothing. Nothing, I say, nothing!!
I digress. The rest of the dress was airy, although it clung nicely to my hips. The fabric was a brown paisley, with pink, scarlet and tan accents. I was officially in love. (A/N: If you go to my profile, there is a link to a picture of the dress. It is amazing.) Seriously, I was debating starting a new religion, where we worshipped this dress. I wanted to make those blood elitists squirm.
And squirm they would, when their sons threw themselves at me. I looked godly, if I do say so myself. My hair was tamed into a pretty updo, with a few curls framing my face. I was so proud of my hair. For once, it decided not to make me miserable. How sweet was that? Of course, the eighteen charms I put on in may have helped… Nah, it was luck.
I never was a big makeup person. Actually, that is an understatement. I can't tell blush from eye shadow. So, I just did a quick charm to make me look prettier. Who knows what it was the equivalent of makeup wise, but it did something with my skin, to make it look smoother and evener. Also, it made my eyes really pretty. I like magic charms. Saves me a whole lot of trouble.
Last time I attempted to put makeup on, I nearly gouged my eye out trying to put on eyeliner. After my friends stopped laughing, they told me I was using lip liner, instead of eye liner. I am that smooth.
Anyway, as I got to the bottom of the stair, Aunt Victoria and Uncle Matthew looked at me. I have never seen anyone look so shocked in my entire life. Too bad I had already entered the ballroom, they couldn't make me go get changed. I chuckled to myself, in a slightly evil way. Being a crazy, grieving teenager is fun!
Well, I wasn't really grieving anymore. It had been four months, and I was absorbed in giving my new family hell. I feel that Mom would have agreed with my actions. She left them for a reason. I now understood her reasons completely.
"Well, someone was feeling rebellious." A voice drawled from behind me. I spun around, coming face to face with Mini-Lucius and a friend of his. The friend was black, but not as dark as me, with slanted eyes and high cheekbones. Not my type at all. Mini-Lucius (like the nickname?) was more of my type. I like blondes, and he had great eyes. Too bad he was so cold. Oooh, his other nickname can be Ice King.
"You betcha. Why else do I exist, except to systematically tear down every hope my aunt has of making me a proper witch? Seriously, try rebelling. Once you start, you can't go back. It is too much fun." I smirked at Draco, whose mouth was wide open in surprise. I noticed the other dude had his eyes fixated on my chest… or lack thereof. "I am flat, whoever you are. My face is up here." I pointed to my face. He snapped his head up.
"So sorry. My name is Blaise Zabini." His voice was low and melodic. He extended a hand towards me. What a poser. I quickly weighed the pros and cons of tearing his ego apart. The pros quickly won.
"Apology not accepted. You annoy me, and are so fake it is disgusting. Please, for the benefit of all humanity, crawl under a rock and die." I snapped at him, before turning quickly and storming off.
I hate parties. All the sketchy guys, trying to feel you up, even if it is clear you don't have boobs. My ass was also a target, since I did have one of those. Even worse, I always forget how much I hate heels, and end up buying some fabulous pair, which invariably ends up killing my feet. Tonight, the poison of choice was a pair if bronze stilettos, with a swirling cutout design. Too bad my feet were numb, because they were gorgeous.
I really didn't need to wear heels. At five feet ten inches, I towered above most women. My height, and lack of chest, came straight from my mom. So, wearing four inch heels, I towered over many guys as well. Suddenly, a thought came to me, unbidden and unwanted. Mini-Lucius was still taller than me. Disgusted, I slipped out of the ballroom, and went to the courtyard right outside.
I plopped down on the rim of the fountain. I dipped my hand in the water, letting the cold water calm me down. Parties now got under my skin. I hated being in a crowded room, knowing everyone else detested my heritage, and my friends. It creeped me out.
"Well, Miss Independent decided to slip away from the ball?" Mini-Lucius appeared. I rolled my eyes, annoyed by his presence. "Tired of being rebellious?" His voice was surprisingly kind.
"No," I snorted, glaring at him. "Just slightly claustrophobic from all the glares I was receiving, and the anger that was almost palpable, emanating off Aunt Victoria and Uncle Matthew." I sounded like a thesaurus. Too much SAT prep with my friends through letters. "By the way, I don't know your name. It is useful to know the names of people you mock, I can't refer to you as Mini-Lucius forever." He gaped at me, and then burst into laughter.
"You… call me… Mini-Lucius?" He laughed harder, his head thrown back. Wow, I was impressed, I made Ice King laugh. When he stopped laughing, he held out his hand. "The name's Draco."
"Seriously? Do you think I am stupid? Why not make up an even more absurd name and use it to try to fool me. Why not Quentin? Or the overused Bob, per say?" I glared at him angrily. His faced flushed.
"Um… my name is actually Draco."
"Likely story." I grabbed his arm, and dragged him into the ballroom. Storming up to the first person I could find, a thoroughly unpleasant looking woman, whose face looked squashed, I stopped. "Is Mini-Lucius' name Draco?" She looked at me blankly. Rolling my eyes, I poked Mini-Lucius in the chest. "Is this," poke, poke, "person's name," poke, "Draco?"
"Yes," She said slowly, looking at me strangely. She looked confused. Maybe she was having trouble breathing, since her face was so squashed. Poor dear, I better remind her of plastic surgery. Maybe it will cheer her up.
"Don't worry dear, there's always surgery." I patted her arm reassuringly, before turning back to Mini-Lucius/Ice King/Draco. Now, it was my turn to burst into hysterical laughter. "Draco? I can't believe your parents did that. Now, all you need to do is name your son The Magnificent Lion-Tiger-Bear of Doom and Destruction. Scorpius would work too."
He reached out and slapped my arm. "You are obnoxious." A huge smile crossed my face. It might have been slightly maniacal, because Draco took a step backwards.
"Thank you, thank you so much. I try, really I do. I'd like to thank the Academy…" I started a speech worthy of an Academy Award winner, blabbering on and on about people I would like to thank. I saw Draco's eye twitch. Next thing I knew, his hand was over my mouth, effectively shutting me up. What an asshole!
So, I did what any one would have done. I bit his hand. Hard. He jerked his hand back quickly, and I started to giggle. Maybe cackle is the better verb. Then, I skipped away to the buffet table, to stuff myself with sugar. Wait until they see me sugar high…
"Get the bouncing pink rabbit of doom!" My best friend Arianna screamed, running at a witch in florescent pink robes. What was she doing here? Well, in my sugar high, I managed to Apparate to America, round up my friends, and Apparate us all back. Without any harm. We then proceeded to shove more sugar into our system, until no one wanted to come near us. Of course, everyone was shooting the Muggles dirty looks anyway.
"Get it!" One of my other friends, Lexi, yelled back. We all chased after the woman in the awfully bright pink robes. That is, until Draco Malfoy decided to interfere. He grabbed me, flipped me over his shoulder, and carried me out of the room. I could see similar things happening to Lexi and Arianna, or Ari for short.
"Tori," that's my nickname, "what's going on?" Lexi yelled, hanging upside down from Zabini's shoulder.
"I have no idea! Maybe we should try to escape the evil aliens of death." I replied, deceptively calm. Lexi and Ari nodded. Quickly, we began to squirm like mad, trying to free ourselves. It didn't work. Damn, Draco was strong. I felt myself drop down onto a soft thing. I know, I know, it is called a bed. Pulling out their wands, they petrified all of us, and left us on the large bed. We couldn't move or talk. How mean!
"Now girls, we couldn't have you disturbing the party anymore." That was Draco's parting remark, before he shut and locked the door. I think I could hear him jam the lock as well… just in case.
He was doomed.
Five days later, I hid in the shadows under the staircase. I was hiding so I could repay Draco. He had it coming. I realized a song would make this much more dramatic. However, singing would give away my location. How depressing.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching. Draco crossed in front of me. With a wave of my wand, forty gallons of slime poured down on him. Next, three buckets full of hot pink glitter fell down, coating the slime. Last, but not least, cameras went off from all directions, photographing my victory.
I stepped out of the shadows. "That, Mini-Lucius, is what you get for locking me in a bedroom while I was harmlessly sugar high."
"You and your friends made ten people need therapy! That is not harmless."
"They can't take a joke." He burst out laughing again. He moved towards me, and before I could realize his evil plot, pulled me into a hug. Now I was all slimy and glittery. "That was mean."
"Your face is mean." He shot back, with lightning speed.
"Are you five?"
"You are five. You always act like everything is such a game. Try growing up for once."
"I am sixteen! You don't know how to enjoy yourself, because you were too busy hating people for being different. I don't need to grow up, not yet. I am trying to enjoy my life before I need to worry. Oh wait, I forgot, maybe that doesn't work, since I have had to worry endlessly since my parents died. God, I hate being here. Everyone hates everyone else for not being as inbred as they are. Either that, or they hate themselves for not being inbred enough." Suddenly, all of my pent up feelings exploded over. "People here can't understand everyone is equal, and actions set people apart. Actions are how you should judge, not by whether they have more magic people for ancestors. People here make me sick!"
I stormed out of the house, and out into the street. I was so angry, I didn't hear Ice King come up behind me.
"Sorry. I was rude." He spoke, startling me out of my angry rage. "But, really aren't you judging us too?"
"Me, judge? No, I only take what I have seen firsthand. Your father called my father an animal, simply because he wasn't magic. Just because Muggles don't have magic doesn't make them inferior. Everyone here thinks it does. I am so sick of it. I want to go home. I miss America." To my complete embarrassment, I realized I was crying.
"C'mon, let's go inside." Draco whispered, slipping an arm around me. He wiped my cheeks clean with his thumbs. It was a really sweet gesture. Before I knew it, I was crying again, right into his shoulder. He held me close, and I could smell his cologne. I recognized it immediately, it was a Muggle brand. Narsico Rodriguez. Daddy used to love to smell colognes, but never wore them. He'd leave scented strips all over the house. This was his favorite. I cried harder. "Astoria, it'll be alright." His arms were so strong, and they wrapped around me so easily.
"You're wearing Muggle cologne." The words popped out of my mouth. That startled him. He looked down at me, meeting my teary eyes.
"Of course, it is the best kind. You do judge too quickly. I don't mind Muggles, or Muggleborns. At least, not anymore. I made some good friends who changed my mind. You would like them." Then, he leaned down and kissed me.
That is how Draco Malfoy won my heart, with Muggle cologne and strong arms. And to think, we never would have fallen in love if I hadn't gotten sugar high. And just to spite me, he named our first son Scorpius, just like I had suggested at that party.
So, whatcha think? I could never see Astoria being a pushover. Even in the epilogue of the seventh book, I had decided she needed spunk. So, here is my take on her. Yes, it is slightly OOC and AU, but don't flame.
Writing this made me feel happy inside. It was my first piece with a decidedly upbeat style. I hope you enjoyed it.
