Author's Note: This is my first fanfic, so be kind. Also, I find the lack of character-defining TF2 fics disturbing. Drop the Cheetos and get writing.

Ms. Cerise Pauling has hard at work. She had fourteen hours of paperwork to finish, mainly weapons order forms.

Helen had an odd way of congratulating the mercs, leaving random weapons under their beds, like some gun-toting Santa Claus. She was, by far, the craziest person she had ever met.

Suddenly, there was a ring at the door of her apartment. Getting up, she answered to the cheery face of her sister and her son, Linus.

"Oh, hey sis." Ms. Pauling grumbled, tired from working.

"Oh, hi Cerise. Can you do me a favour? Me and George are going on holiday to Australia, so can you take care of Linus for about 10 days?" her sister asked, giving her the ol' puppy-eyes routine.

Unfortunately, Ms. Pauling was a pushover. "Uhm, yeah! That's great!" she said, attempting to sound enthusiastic while half-asleep.

"Alright, thanks! Seeeeyaaa!" her sister said, leaving Linus standing at the door to Ms. Pauling apartment.

"Ugh, what am I going to do?" Ms. Pauling grumbled to herself. She couldn't leave Linus here while she spent hours doing paperwork, and if she didn't finish the paperwork, she would be fired. Why did she have to be such a pushover?

Then, she had an idea. It was crazy, but it was her only option right now.

"Oh god, I hope one of those mercs know how to treat a kid." She said, grabbing Linus by the shirt sleeve to pull him to her car.

Over at the old Dual Fortress Battleground, nicknamed "2fort", there was a mechanical whirr as the loudspeakers activated.

"RED team, Ms. Pauling is coming for a visit, so do not make buffoons of yourselves." The Administrator droned. However, the RED team was already straightening things up. You see, Ms. Pauling took regular visits to check the physical and mental health of the team, as the house doctor, the Medic, was a bit of an amputation fan. But those visits were the only time a building filled with solely men saw a woman, and surely, one by one, they fell for her. So with every visit, they attempted to impress her with whatever they could.

Engineer was polishing his buildings.

Demoman practiced that sticky-juggling trick he made.

Spy recited poetry.

Sniper adjusted his hair.

Pyro panicked and did something that could interpreted as screaming.

Medic finished up his violin practice.

Heavy prepared a sandvich.

Scout practiced his speech announcing his love to his secret shrine.

Soldier began attempting to sabotage Sniper's hat with super glue.

And when they were all done, they assembled and waited at the main door to their base, trembling in anticipation. And then Ms. Pauling arrived.

Their collective jaws dropped at the sight of a seven year old boy climbing out of passenger's side.

"Er, hello guys. I've got something to ask." She mumbled, embarrassed. Jaws still dropped, they nodded simultaneously.

"Can you take care of my nephew Linus for 10 days? I'll come back to check on him every day. Is that OK?" she asked, attempting her sister's puppy-eyes routine. It wasn't very good, but they did what every smitten man does. They accepted.

"Excellent! I'll be back tomorrow." She said, smiling. She climbed back into her car and drove away.

The team immediately burst into discussion.

"Bloody 'ell, mates. We're stuck with ah kid for the week!" Demoman complained.

"Nonsense. If, perhaps, we win the child's affection, perhaps Ms. Pauling's affection will come along with it." Spy explained.

"Good idea, you backstabbing buggah." Sniper said.

"Hhmmmp phmme hmr hm." Pyro said. Nobody understood. But they assumed that he was trying to compliment the plan.

Author's Note: Here's how things are going to work. I'm going to write a chapter for each character, and one last chapter for a epilogue. Once each character 's chapter is done, go write a review and vote for who Linus will end up admiring greatest. Whether this wins Ms. Pauling's affections for the class is up to the amount of votes. Got it? Good.