WARNING: This story is gonna get real cracky.

I'm honestly really scared. Scratch that. Nervous is what I am ;_;

This is my first story... one-shot thingy. Do you want it to be a one-shot? How would you know if you haven't read the story yet? Well, in the end if you decide you want this to continue then drop a review. :P

I'm just a little potato dabbling in the field of writing. This should have absolutely NO errors or typos. If you're aiming to be a beta then why would your story have any errors?

Have no idea how this is gonna turn out, but hey, what's a life worth if ya don't take any risks?

Don't worry, I won't be typing like that in the actual story. But writing Lavi is an exception.

Hope ya like it? Hehe...

oOoO.

No one knows how it started. It was like the thing just popped out of nowhere.

No one paid any attention to it at first. Nor did anyone care.

But when Allen started speaking to it like it was capable of speaking back, that's when everyone simultaneously thought Allen needed a time-out for acting insane.

After strapping Allen down onto the hospital bed, I was interested in why Allen was taking his time talking to this thing instead of eating or fighting with Kanda. So later that night, when the cafeteria was empty, I decided to find out.

oOoO.

Am never letting my curiosity win again! I almost died, damn it! I should have listened to Gramps when he said "curiosity killed the cat"!

But hey, satisfaction brought it back, right?

Not this time!

That thing is Satan I tell you!

That thing...yes...that thing that scared the crap outta me is...

A Pine Tree. A freaking pine tree scared Lavi Bookman. Am not happy.

But on the bright side, I have new information to tell Allen!

oOoO.

After locking Allen in the infirmary, Lavi went down to the cafeteria to check the tree out."It's still a sapling," Lavi noted. He crouched down to look at it more closely. Then he did a double take. Because the thing was wearing sunglasses. It was also moving its little leaf arms to grab a boom box, but Lavi didn't seem to notice that.

"What the heck..."

CRASH! BOOM!*

Lavi whipped his head around to the noise.

Standing there, with the same pair of sunglasses as the saplings', was an even bigger plant, which Lavi guessed was its mom.

"Bitch gimme back my baby!"

It pointed a cigar at Lavi, and it starting shooting giant fireballs at him.

The sapling put on "I Smoke Weed Everyday," dubstep remix.*

"WHAT THE FRICK! WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

While he was busy dodging the mom plant's wrath, he also didn't notice the baby plant start to chant things in Latin.

The ground shook and Lavi lost his balance, falling to the ground. Though he waited for impact, it never came.

"W-What the.."

He looked up into a demons eyes, all bloodshot and hungry for action.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

"EEEKKKAACHCHHHH"

It started doing a demon screech.

Lavi decided he'd had enough and ran for the door, still screaming.

All the while the music was still playing, and the mom plant decided to chase after him, demons in tow.

Fotunately, Lavi made it out alive, and slammed the doors to the cafeteria and locked them. He heard them banging against the door, but shortly after, it stopped. He slid down the doors, panting from being scared to death.

"Did I..just..see...Hell?"

"What the fuck are you doing, idiot rabbit?"

Lavi looked up to see Kanda, clad in a bright pink sleeping gown, with letters on it that read:

On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

To top it off, he had on a sleeping cap that matched the gown.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lavi soon forgot that just amoment ago he was screaming like a soccer mom in Walmart during Black Friday.

"The fuck is so funny?"

Lavi pointed at Kanda's attire, too busy laughing to give a vocal reply.

Kanda rolled his eyes and roughly pushed Lavi aside to go in the cafeteria.

"You-you might.. not want...to go in there!" Lavi warned in between laughs.

"Don't tell me what to do idiot rabbit!"

Lavi finally stopped laughing and got off the ground, to see Kanda get pulled into the mass of demons and a mother's wrath.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! HELP ME RABBIT!"

Lavi stared disbelievingly at Kanda, who just said something nobody's ever heard come out of the samurai's mouth.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT ME?!"

"...Yu Kanda...actually called for help..."

"SO WHAT? GET ME DOWN!"

"Haha! No way! I'm definitely telling Allen about this!"

"NO WAY IN HELL AM I LETTING YOU DO THAT YOU PIECE OF SH-"

The mother's Fireballs of Fury finally got him. In the head. That was the end of Kanda.

Lavi shrugged and continued on his way to the infirmary to check on the Beansprout.

After all, he can finally tell everyone Kanda's secrets! He's dead anyway, what's the worse that can happen?

oOoO.

*I know, I know, lame-ass sound effects -_-

*If you don't know what that is then you can look it up on youtube.

Well. That was a thing. I swear I'm the laziest author ever, in the middle of this i fell asleep. I was tired. Don't know why. All I did was watch T.V...

Anyway!

Did you guys like it? Was it good? Had enough crack yet? Yeah, I did not plan for this to come out the way it did, but things don't always go your way, ya know?

Review if ya want to. I would, so that the ever-so-kind authoress would continue this..thing. Will have a real thing to call it if I continue with it!

Thank you for wasting your time reading this!

Bye-bye!