Disclaimer – I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

A/N – This is my first Criminal Minds story. It was just an idea I had that wouldn't go away. Hope you like it.

XXX

How selfhood begins with a walking away, and love is proved in the letting go – Robert Cecil Day-Lewis

It was three o'clock in the morning as Hotch pulled his rental car into the parking lot and switched the engine off. He felt a knot in his stomach as he climbed out. Emily knew she wasn't supposed to contact any of them, but Hotch had received a phone call asking him to catch the next flight to Pasadena and meet her at a small motel just outside the city. Something was wrong.

He found room 17 and knocked. She opened the door and hurried him into the room, closing and locking it behind him. Once she was sure it was securely locked, she turned to face him.

"Hello, Hotch," she said softly.

"Hello," he said.

With tears in her eyes, she pulled him into a hug. She knew Hotch wasn't much of a hugger but she needed to feel close to a part of her old life. Hotch wrapped his arms around her and returned the hug.

"What's going on Emily?" he asked. "Are you in danger?"

"No," she said, pulling away. "Nothing like that. I just need you to do something for me. Something important."

"Anything."

"Sit down."

The two of them sat on the bed facing each other. Emily rested her hands on her knees and took a deep breath. She looked down at the floor as she tried to gather her thoughts and find the right words.

"Two weeks after I left, I found out I was pregnant. After everything that happened with Doyle in that warehouse, it was a miracle the baby survived, but she did."

"She?"

"Yeah. I had a little girl." Emily stood up and walked to the other side of the bed. She carefully lifted the bassinet which held her 6 week old daughter onto the bed. "Her name's Rebecca."

"She's beautiful." Hotch smiled at the sleeping infant.

"Yes, she is." Emily held her daughters tiny hand and wiped away the tears that escaped from her eyes.

"What do you need me to do?"

Emily swallowed the lump in her throat as she turned to face him. "I can't keep her with me. It's not safe for her. I need you to take her to her father."

Hotch was shocked. "Emily, are you sure you…"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Just don't. You know as well I do that if Doyle found out I'm alive then he would stop at nothing to find me. I can't drag her into that. Besides, what kind of life would she have with me? I have to keep moving around, looking over my shoulder. She needs stability. She needs a parent who will give her a safe, happy home and I know she'll get that with her dad."

Hotch silently watched Emily. She gently stroked the side of Rebecca's face, smiling at the child was about to give up. He knew she had good reason to be worried. He didn't want to think about what would happen if Doyle found out she was still alive.

He sighed. "You do realise her father probably thinks you're dead?"

"I know. But if you explain why faking my death was necessary, he'll understand. I know he will. And I know he'll make a great father."

"Are you sure that it's someone who would able to keep this secret?"

"Definitely." She looked Hotch straight in the eye. "It's Reid."

"Reid? Spencer Reid?"

"Yep."

Hotch didn't know what to say. He'd always noticed that Prentiss and Reid seemed close, but he never thought there was anything romantic between them. As he thought now about just how distant and withdrawn Reid had been since Emily's "death", he wondered how he hadn't figured it out for himself.

"Emily, I had no idea."

"No one did. We wanted to keep it quiet until we knew where we stood. When JJ left, I was really upset about it and I had trouble sleeping. I don't know why, but one night I decided to call Spencer. He couldn't sleep either so we went to one of those 24 hour coffee houses and sat there all night, drinking coffee and talking till the sun came up. He walked me home and I kissed him. It just kind of happened. I didn't plan it. I hadn't even thought of him like that until that moment. We started dating and it was wonderful. We were just starting to get serious when all the stuff with Doyle happened and I had to leave."

Emily lifted Rebecca up as she started to wake. She gently rocked her back to sleep, softly cooing that everything was okay.

"Hotch," she said, her voice full of apprehension. "How is he? Is he coping?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected."

He knew it sounded generic and rehearsed, but it was all he could think of. Up till tonight, Hotch thought that Reid had been really struggling with losing a friend. Now, he realised that he was actually coping quite well with losing a girlfriend. Emily chewed her bottom lip and tried to hold back the torrent of tears. She wished that she could be with Spencer right now. She had been going through hell since she left, mourning her loss of him as much as he had mourned her.

She returned Rebecca to her bassinet and took a suitcase, a diaper bag, a stroller and a car seat from the closet.

"Could you take these out to the car, Hotch, while I say goodbye?"

"Of course."

It took two trips to get everything into the trunk. Once the car seat was securely in place, he waited patiently for Emily. He was already wondering how he would explain everything to Reid and wondering how he would cope with suddenly becoming a single dad.

Emily's face was stained with tears when she eventually came out of the room. She walked past Hotch and fastened Rebecca into the car seat. She kissed her precious child on the forehead before closing the door. She kept her back to Hotch as she tried to compose herself, before turning to him and handing him an envelope addressed to Reid.

"Can you give this to Spencer?"

Hotch took the envelope and nodded.

"Could you also tell him that I love him? And that I miss him."

"Of course."

"Take care of them, Hotch. Both of them."

"I will."

"Thank you." Emily walked briskly back to the motel room, desperately wanting to look back at the car, but being unable to. She had to keep reminding herself that this was what was best for Rebecca. She shut herself in the room and listened to the engine start and the gravel crunch underneath the wheels.

Only when she could no longer hear the car, did Emily allow herself to break down.