A Time To Accept Fate
The green eyes closed tightly at the sight of the bright morning sun. He wasn't ready to awaken, wasn't ready to travel to the tower and wage battle with the Magic Emperor. Despite the strong desire to save his beloved Luhna, he still doubted in his own abilities. Inside, he knew that no matter how long he waited, he wouldn't be ready.
"Come on, Arhes, you must eat something before we depart. If you don't get up now, there will be no time."
He opened his eyes again, after hearing the soft, familiar voice, the same as every morning prior.
"Nasch?" he mumbled questioningly.
"Yes."
The affirmation was unnecessary, as the gentle sound could be mistaken for none other.
Of all the people met along their way, this innocent side of Nasch had been revealed only to Arhes. The reason for his reclusive personality was unknown, but the chestnut haired boy suspected that it may have something to do with something Nasch had mentioned the day before.
"Arhes . . ." Nasch pressed, sounding slightly annoyed.
"I know," the Dragon Master managed, forcing himself to stay awake. "I'm not gonna fall back asleep on ya this time."
He rose from the bed, eyeing Nasch in a curious manner. Every morning, the young mage would come in and wake him, then exit the room as silently as he had come. He had never waited to ensure that the older boy was out of bed.
Nasch froze in response to the movement, looking into Arhes's eyes with an unreadable expression. His luminescent golden eyes had grown in size, bearing the constant sadness that characterized Nasch's true existence. Unknowing, Arhes was the only one to have seen the fifteen year old's inner soul, behind the cocky, overconfident mask he always wore.
"Nasch? Is something wrong?"
He was completely lost after observing Nasch's response to his rising out of the bed.
The twin moons closed, reopening a second later to only half way, a tinge of pink creeping into his face.
"I . . . what I said about . . . needing to speak to you yesterday . . ."
"Alone?" Arhes finished for him. "Yes, I remember. We can talk now, if you'd like. It's obvious that there's something on your mind. What is it that's bothering you, Nasch?"
The older of the two was becoming increasingly anxious. This talk seemed to be of great importance to Nasch, but he seemed almost frightened and reluctant to have it. His face had dropped to the floor, and he seemed fascinated with the ornate pattern on a rug near the bed.
"Nasch?"
" . . . . . . . . . "
He remained silent for barely a moment longer, before sharply raising his head to meet the emerald gaze.
"Arhes . . . " he began uncertainly. "I feel that we may die today. I still doubt that the five of us have sufficient power to defeat Ghaleon. After growing up with him; living near him for so long; it's hard for me to imagine anyone, even a Dragon Master, with so much power as it would take . . . "
He paused to draw a deep breath and steady himself, his voice nearly crumbling to sobs by force of emotions that desperately needed to be conveyed deep within. He wasn't going to cry, not until what needed to be spoken aloud had been such, and gone entirely wrong.
"In the nearly impossible case that we achieve our goal, you'll return to Burg with Luhna, and raise a family. I'll be forced to return to Vane, but I want you to know something now, before a turn of events succeeds in keeping me from telling you."
Arhes had begun to smile without realizing, enjoying the thoughts of his future life and family. But again, he was to become entirely confused, as Nasch took his larger, calloused hands with his own.
"Arhes, you are the only one I've ever met aside from Mia, and Ghaleon at a time, who has ever treated me like a living person, rather than a lowly servant. The only one who's shown me kindness, and cared about my opinions, my feelings. No one else has seen . . . me. I just want you to know, before I die, that I . . . I love you, Arhes."
Again, he allowed his face to drop to the floor, his pale cheeks becoming soaked with tears as he fought to hold them in, to keep Arhes from seeing. In silence, he waited for his inevitable rejection. He was beginning to hate himself more and more with each agonizingly slow moment of silence following in the wake of his atrocious speech. He hated the way every word had come out, despised himself for ever daring to so much as hope that he had a chance. He felt like a fool, knowing he had purposely set himself up for heartbreak, and a return to the loneliness he had suffered until hi friendship, and finally love, for the Dragon Master had entirely developed. He was an idiot, and he felt he knew what was coming, though entirely unprepared to accept and deal with the approaching loss.
Arhes merely stared down at him in utter and complete shock. Ever since the two had met, he had believed that Nasch was totally devoted to Mia. This turn had come with no warning. As much as he cared for Nasch in friendship, Luhna was the one he wanted as a wife and lover. He could never see himself turning his back on her.
He half smiled in both nervousness and sadness, as he extended an arm to take the small shaken form by the shoulder. Nasch's face rose immediately at the contact, his eyes seeking the older's for what would probably be the final meeting in his lifetime; so he felt anyway.
"Nasch, I commend you for having the bravery to take me aside like this, and voice your feelings. But, I'm sorry to say I don't feel the same way towards you."
And there it was. He was about to continue, to tell Nasch that he would always be held close as a best friend, but the opportunity never presented itself.
The tears began anew, greatly increasing in number from before, as well as his sobbing. Before Arhes could utter another sound, or formulate any reaction, for that matter, Nasch had broken free of his grip and torn from the room. He watched in an almost guilty silence as the crushed magician ran into his own rented quarters, further down the long hallway of the Inn. The door slammed tightly behind him, and was securely locked.
Arhes knew he was the cause of the obvious depression, but was lost as to what he could do to aid in the healing process. After all, it would have been an act of pure cruelty to lie to him, only breaking his heart further. Lacking ideas of any proper method of comfort, Arhes sighed and returned to his room and dressed, all the while pondering whether or not he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
"No," he reminded himself aloud, "Luhna is the one I love, and am planning to marry. Not Nasch."
Jessica's eyebrow raised as she noticed that their leader had finally decided to join them downstairs. Nasch had ventured to wake him over forty five minutes earlier, and he was just now arriving.
Without Nasch.
"Damn it Arhes! You finally dare to show up, and now Nasch has disappeared!! I'm starving, I want to eat, and I'M NOT GOING TO WAIT ANY LONGER!!!!! WHERE IS HE?!!"
Arhes shook his head slowly in response. This was to be expected of them. When Jessica and Kyle were ready to eat, nothing else mattered. The world could be ending, as it was trying to, and it would not matter. And nothing made them angrier than having to wait over something trivial.
" Nasch is up in his room, hiding, if you will. He's horribly depressed over something. I knocked, but he refused to eat, or so much as come out. And he only said that he wanted us to proceed without him. He said that somehow, he would find a way to rejoin us at Althena's Tower, before the final battle. Don't take him any food, I can tell you right now he'll refuse." The last comment was directed mostly to Mia, who had acquired a worried expression. "He's not doing well," Arhes finished, sounding almost depressed himself. The sound of the boy's voice had hurt more than he imagined was possible, and he felt worse than ever. But there was nothing to be done for him, aside from letting him heal on his own.
"Wonder what's botherin' him," Kyle flatly stated, sounding not at all interested.
"I don't know," the Dragon Master lied.
"Don't really care," the bandit threw in casually, "I'm sure he can handle whatever it is. I don't care if he's comin' or not. I'm gonna go eat now."
But I don't think he can handle this
, Arhes thought to himself. Again, he remembered the voice he had heard only moments before, broken and desperate. It had proven difficult to acquire the little bit of information he had shared with the others. It seemed that all Nasch had truly wanted was for him to go away.He cast a worried glance towards the upstairs of the building, the part which served as Meribia's finest Inn and Tavern. The party had chosen this place so they could be well rested and fed prior to their fate altering battle. Also, in the event that they were all killed, they would have had a reasonably pleasant final evening.
The meal progressed slowly for the Dragon Master. He couldn't help but turn towards the stairs, and wonder how his little friend was doing. Did Nasch honestly have the audacity to believe that he could love him in return? Surely, the mage couldn't be so foolish. In fact, Arhes half wondered if the whole thing was a joke. But it couldn't be that.
"Arhes?" Jessica asked, annoyed. "Could ya pick up the pace a little? We gotta leave sometime today, ya know.
"Oh, . . . umm . . . right . . ."
No
, he decided then and there. Nasch had known better from the beginning. And now all Arhes could do was allow him to recover. Soon, he would have forgotten all about such nonsense, and Arhes and Luhna would be reunited and back home. He would start his family later on, as planned. He would live a full, happy life. And Nasch would just have to deal with it, he decided. Each of them had a desired future, and now Nasch would have to choose a new one.