Being a victor, Finnick had visited every district in Panem. He had seen the different ways of life and embraced the foreign lands, a pleasure that most could only dream of. Sure, the endless forests of seven, bursting with life, were beautiful. And of course, the vast fields of golden barley in eleven were breathtaking. Not to mention the shining city of the Capitol which seemed to be almost incrusted with diamonds and riches. But none of them compared to the glorious seaside sunsets back home in four. Burnt oranges, blazing reds and other unearthly colours bled into one another painting the sky with a golden brush. The colours in the sky reflected softly in the waters below inviting you in. Yes, sunset was Finnick's favourite time of day. One last burst of beauty before the Earth is plunged into darkness for yet another night. But thanks to the Capitol, Finnick's life was constantly haunted by a darkness of some kind. However they could never take that burst of beauty.
"Finnick…" Annie's voice brought Finnick back. Funny that. Originally it was always Finnick's job to guide Annie away from the edge of her sanity, recently their roles seemed to have been reversed. "It's okay, Finnick. I… I… I know it's not your choice. You don't even have a choice."
A stab of pain shot through him as it always did when Annie tried to comfort him. He didn't deserve her comfort. Or her love. In fact, he felt he hardly deserved her at all. Once a year, every year, Finnick goes to the Capitol to mentor the tributes of District 4 in the Hunger Games. There he is seen with endless queues of lovers. Of course the audience lap it up without a second thought. Handsome, beautiful, gorgeous Finnick! Why wouldn't he have his cake and eat it? He did survive the Hunger Games, for gods sake. In the people of the Capitol's eyes Finnick could be with any amount of beautiful woman he desired. Or men, for that matter. In Finnick's eyes, he only wants to be with Annie. Annie Cresta, a broken young girl, pulled into the dark corners of her mind shortly before being crowned victor of the 70th Hunger Games. Now, why would someone like Finnick want someone like Annie? She crept up on him. Simple as that. Finnick often wondered if there would ever be a time in his life when he didn't think of her. Her striking green eyes, her pale lips, her wispy dark hair. Her. After all the things he had been through during the games- seeing murder first hand, knowing the Capitol found his fellow tributes deaths entertaining, killing someone with his bare hands - what still amazed Finnick the most is how absolutely he could love someone with a heart so broken.
After taking his childhood, his innocence and his humanity, the Capitol took his love. Forcing him into prostitution, drowning him in guilt as all the while he thinks of his sweet love back home. Yes, Finnick was just as broken as Annie.
Without hesitation, Finnick wrapped his arms around Annie, burying his face in her hair. Each year he has to say goodbye to her, leave her for a few weeks. And each year it gets harder to leave.
"I love you." he murmurs into her sweet smelling hair.
"I love you too." whispered Annie, her eyes fixed on something far away. For a long time they sat still, frozen in each others arms, breathing in each others love. But Annie was the first to pull away. Her small, shaky hands reached out to find Finnick's chest and his larger, stronger hands entwine with hers. She opened her mouth, but before she could speak Finnick started begging.
"Please, Annie. If I could wrap you up and take you with me, I would. I hate leaving you. It kills me." On the last word, his voice breaks. Annie gives him a sad smile in return. The more she thinks about the next few weeks, the hazier her thoughts become. Every year in those few unbearable weeks, Annie's sanity deteriorates quickly, leaving her a whisper of the woman she is when she's with Finnick. It takes weeks, sometimes months for Finnick to restore her mind when he returns. Seeing the physical damage the Capitol have indirectly inflicted on the woman he loves completely unhinges him.
"I'm sorry too." Spluttered Annie, tears suddenly making their way down her cheeks.
"We'll get through this, I promise. Mags will stay with you. You wont be alone. I'll never let you be alone."
"Oh no, Finnick. Don't. You can't promise that. You can never promise that. Whenever you're gone, I'm alone. Whenever I close my eyes and I can't feel your arms, I'm alone. In my dreams I'm alone. And when they… when they take me. In my thoughts. I'm always alone." Finnick didn't realise his tears had escaped until he tasted the salty droplets in his mouth. He lets out a noise which is half moan half sob. "Look what they've done to us. Look what they've done."
At that exact moment, a panel of Gamemakers sitting in luxurious Capitol suits, drinking glass upon glass of expensive red wine laugh to themselves about the weapons they've designed to torture and eventually kill the children of Panem this year. Oh and what a show it will be.
