Summary: Waking up in a hospital is scary. Finding out you're there because someone tried to kill you is scarier. Not remembering is scariest. All Bella knows is that someone with green eyes saved her, and she needs to find that someone. AU/AH
A/N: The prologue is written in present tense and the rest of the chapter is in past tense. This is intentional. Inspiration music for this story is "Panic Switch" by Silversun Pickups.
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction.
Prologue
Something smashes. My eyes fly to the bottle of beer that just exploded next to my head, then back to the form looming before me.
That's when reality snaps back in.
Screaming. Things breaking. The smell of blood. Unbelievable pain.
I need to get out.
He turns away and begins ripping apart a bookshelf. I spy my escape: the front door is only a few feet away. I struggle to my feet, biting back a scream from the pain, and stumble to the door. He doesn't notice.
The locks obey my clumsy hands and I slip into the hallway. Stairs... Stairs… I almost cry for joy at the sight of the few steps leading down to the building's entrance. My body has become numb, and all I can hear is the chanting my head: escape, I need to escape. But in my hurry I stumble over the last step and catch myself against a wall. Pain rips through my left wrist and I gasp. A split second later he roars.
I shove myself off the wall and fly out of the building. A part of me is confused, I shouldn't be able to move, let alone walk. I shake my head and look around as I manage a limping run. Why is there no one on the street? He is getting closer; his anger makes him slow but not slow enough.
A flash of silver. There's a car at the red light.
" Help me." I want to say, but it only comes out as a strangled whisper. Another growl erupts on the street behind me and for a moment all hope disappears.
I'm going to die.
"—the car!"
My head snaps up. Someone is yelling.
"Get in the car! Hurry!"
The roaring is louder. Closer.
He's coming. Escape. Escape!
My hands fumble with the door handle, I feel time running out.
Hurry.
"Hurry!"
Tears blind my eyes. I don't want to die.
The latch opens, I tumble in the car and it speeds off. There's roaring in the distance, but I let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding. Pain rips through me once again and a whimper escapes.
"Hold on, I'm taking you to the hospital."
My head rolls to the side to look at the driver. Green eyes. I feel reality start to fade.
"Stay with me!"
I'm safe…
"Stay with me!"
Green eyes accompany me into the darkness.
Panic Switch
Chapter 1
The first thing I noticed was the beeping, pulling me from the darkness. I felt so heavy. My eyelids were too heavy to open, my lips to heavy to move, my chest too heavy to rise— Then there was the choking. My body gasped and spasmed around something in my throat, but I couldn't lift my hands or open my eyes, I was trapped and choking.
It felt like forever before the obstruction was quickly pulled from my throat and out of my mouth. I gasped in a large breath then immediately started coughing. A soothing hand placed itself on my shoulder.
"Choking is natural. It just means you're breathing on your own again." The voice, like the hand, was kind. I suddenly had a desire to see the person they were connected to. My eyelids, however, seemed to have forgotten how to move and it took a few moments of arguing before they fluttered open.
The room was dim, making it easy for my eyes to adjust. I looked to my right, at the person—the woman—who had saved me from choking to death. She was middle aged with a short bob of mouse brown hair and warm brown eyes that were hidden behind silver glasses. Her eyes were youthful and her smile was warm.
"Ah, there you are. Can you see me dear?" I nodded mutedly and glanced at what she was pulling out of a cabinet. Cautiously she lifted it up towards my face: a long thin clear tube with two small tubes coming off. Oxygen, I recalled and relaxed as the woman placed the tube under my nose and tucked the ends behind my ears.
"There we go. Is that better?" I nodded again, glad for it. The oxygen made me feel more awake. "You have beautiful eyes dear. A very deep brown. The other ladies will be so disappointed that I won the bet. I just had this feeling they were brown."
The other ladies? A bet? My mind swam with confusion at her words. I looked around the room again, this time paying more attention. There were important and strange machines surrounding me, an uncomfortable looking plastic chair in the corner, and a bland shade of beige covered every surface of the room. My stomach sunk with recognition, but I needed to be sure. My lips didn't feel as heavy as they once were, but my mouth felt crusty and hard to open.
"Where—" My voice was deep and very rough. I swallowed. "Where… am I?" I finally managed. Amusement flashed in the woman's eyes before kindness, and pity, returned.
"You don't remember? You're in the hospital—" Panic filled me. I can't be here, my mind screamed, I need to get out! My vision spun and I shut my eyes tight, trying to beat back the fear that was causing me to convulse. The beeping in the background became frantic and my breaths came as short gasps.
"Shhhh… shh shh shh shhhhh…" Hands were on either side of my face, smoothing my hair, stroking my cheeks. My eyes snapped open and locked onto the woman's grey ones.
"It's okay honey, you're safe... no one can get you here… no one can get you… you're safe." I felt myself slowly calm as her words sunk in.
"Safe?"
"Yes dear. We have someone guarding your door. No one can come in here but the doctor and myself."
Safe. Something about that word triggered a memory, but I couldn't remember why or what it was. Safe… I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them again I felt calm. Relief spread across the woman's face and she smiled again. She opened her mouth to say something, but a knock at the door cut her off, she gave me an apologetic smile.
"Let me go see who that is, probably just the doctor making sure you're alright, but I can tell him you're asleep if you want." I nodded meekly and closed my eyes, trying to appear asleep. I could hear her move across the room and open the door quickly then close it again. She must've stepped out because I didn't hear anything for several minutes. The door opened again and I tensed, only to relax at the sound of her footsteps. I blinked my eyes open and followed her form as she moved back to my side.
"That was just Dr. Hale, he was alerted when your heart monitor sped up. I told him that everything was alright, you had started breathing on your own and needed the tube removed," she explained. I didn't recognize the doctor's name, but felt a little nervous that it was a man. I wasn't sure why I felt that way though. "How are you feeling right now, dear?"
"Okay," my voice was stronger than it had been before. "I feel kinda gross… and maybe a little hungry. What happened? Why am I here?"
"I think it would be better if Dr. Hale explained, he wants to speak to you anyways." My brow furrowed, why can't she tell me? I wanted to sit up so I could talk properly and not feel so lame. I struggled a moment before the woman realized what I was doing and showed me the button to make the bed lift. Once I was upright and comfortable she continued.
"Why don't I get you something to eat while you talk to the doctor?" she asked. I felt myself panic slightly at the thought of being alone with the doctor, she picked up on it. "Unless you are uncomfortable with that, I can stay in the room with you if you want."
Her worry bothered me, I couldn't figure out why I had reacted like I did. He's a doctor, I chided myself mentally, you're perfectly safe around him. I swallowed and put on a small smile to reassure the woman.
"No, I'll be fine. I'm just a little worried about what he's going to tell me. No worries."
"If you're sure…" she paused, "What would you like to eat? Oh, I know! How about hot soup and some chocolate pudding?" I nodded and smiled broadly; she was so kind. "Alright then, I'll go get that for you and I'll send the doctor in, okay?"
"Okay."
She disappeared from the room once again and I became nervous, thinking of the coming talk with the doctor. Don't be ridiculous, everything's going to be fine. I smiled grimly as I squashed my nerves down. I glanced around the room, unsure what to do while I waited, then noticed the window on the right wall. I had been so focused on the woman I hadn't even realized it was there. It was dark but I could see the twinkling lights of the city in the distance.The sky was a clear deep blue; I could even see a few stars.
Knock. Knock. I turned my head back to the door to see a blond head pop in. The man's face was inquistive and caring, and I could see a bit of his white coat at his collar. This must be the doctor, I thought.
"Come in," I squeaked. I chastised myself for sounding so scared and tried to look friendly as the doctor strode in. He grabbed the chair from the corned and brought it over to the side of my bed. Standing, he must have been over six feet, but sitting down our eyes were level. His hair just grazed the top of his cheekbones and was dirty blonde, but not in a bad way. There were a few light scars, one on his forehead, one by his right eye, another on his jaw, and his nose was ever so slightly crooked. His eyes were a very clear ice blue, watching me as I inspected him. So handsome. I blushed and averted my gaze.
"Hello, my name is Dr. Hale," he began, "I'm your attending. I would like to ask you a few questions." His voice was deep and soothing. I found myself looking back at his face, blushing but keeping my eyes steady. I nodded, but was slightly confused, shouldn't I be the one with the questions? "Let's start of with your name."
"My name?" my voice quivered with panic.
"When you were admitted you were unconscious and had no identification. You've been charted as 'Jane Doe' until now," he paused, glancing away, when he looked back he seemed almost embarrassed, "I find it a little strange to address you as Miss Jane Doe. You don't seem like a Jane to me."
I giggled a little at his confession, blushing harder when I realized I was laughing at my doctor, but he only smiled. Amusement danced in his eyes and I felt relaxed in his presence.
"My name's Isabella Swan. You can call me Bella." I said, smiling. He smiled back.
"Very nice to meet you Bella. It's a relief to have a name to put with a face. You can call me Jasper." I giggled again before becoming more serious.
"So… I was unconscious when I came in? What happened? How did I get here?" I asked, my brow furrowed with concentration. It was all so strange.
"You were brought in by one of my colleagues, he found you wandering down a street, in a bad condition, and brought you here. You fell unconscious on the way over." I tried to remember anything from then, but I couldn't. Something he said worried me though.
"In a bad condition?" It was his turn to look worried and somewhat nervous. He was quiet for a moment, and I could almost see him searching for the words. It made me nervous, I swallowed hard.
"Bella, when you were brought in you seemed to have been beaten severely. There were numerous lacerations and deep gashes on your body, along with extensive bruising. Your clothes were ripped and torn, your hair was sheared oddly and small chunks were missing. You had a sprained ankle, glass in your hands, knees, and feet. Your wrist was broken. You had three broken ribs, one of which had punctured your right lung. You also had a decent concussion. There was also… lacerations on your thighs and in your vagina…." He trailed off and looked down at his hands.
It took a moment for his words to sink in. I looked down at myself, why hadn't I done that earlier?! There was a deep blue cast on my left wrist and my right hand was bandaged, how had I not seen that? I used my good hand to touch my face, feeling the gauze on my cheek and forehead; it hurt to touch the back of my head. My eyes watered when I accidentally hid a spot where a chunk had been torn out. I pulled the blanket away from the rest of my body, my body crying in pain at the movement. Bruises and cuts littered my legs, my ankle was wrapped, my eyes trailed up towards my… Tears stung in my eyes and I looked away, pulling the blanket back over me. My eyes caught Jasper's; he wasn't looking at me with pity, but with understanding and empathy. That small fact gave me strength. I blinked back my tears and turned to him bravely.
"How… was I still alive?" I refused to let my fear betray me. He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before responding.
"I can attribute it only to your intense will to live. You escaped a dangerous situation and were walking despite incredible injuries. You are extremely brave and strong, Bella," His eyes shone with sincerity, causing me to bite back my cry of denial. "But I need to ask you, do you remember anything from that night?"
He looked at me earnestly, and I looked at my hands, trying to remember. I couldn't, it was a blank. I looked at Jasper and shook my head, feeling very lost and confused. He sighed with disappointment.
"I was hoping that you would have some memory for the sole reason of protecting you. However, a part of me is relieved you don't remember, it would be tough to deal with right now. Temporary memory loss is very common with victims of a traumatic event. When something happens that is hard for the mind to comprehend, it shuts down and the memory becomes blocked. Sometimes forever, sometimes for only a short while. Unfortunately, concussions also lead to memory loss so the chances of you remembering were very slim to begin with." I was relieved to know that it was okay that I couldn't remember, but it frustrated me. Whatever happened kept making me react in strange ways and I wanted to know why.
"So I was assaulted?" I searched his face for answers. He looked at me sadly.
"Yes, we believe so. Probably by someone you know, as you were in what looked to be pajamas at the time." A chill ran down my spine. Someone I knew did this to me… I sat there in stunned silence.
"How long have I been here?" I asked suddenly. The thought had only just occurred to me.
"About three days, you've been unconscious the whole time." Jasper said, his voice was soft, and strained. He seemed to be having as hard of time talking about this, as I was having just listening. There was a soft knock at the door and we both turned to it. He stood up to go.
"Um, Jasper?" He turned to me, surprised.
"Yes?"
"Would you happen to know," I muttered, my cheeks burning up, "the name of the woman who was with me before?" He chuckled.
"Her name is Caroline Weber, if you need anything just ask her."
"Oh… And Jasper?" He looked at me curiously. "Thank you for saving my life." He smiled and nodded his head, making his way to the door. He paused for a moment then looked back at me once more, suddenly very serious.
"I couldn't have done it without you, Bella." And with that he was out the door. A moment later Mrs. Weber came in with a tray of steaming food and a smile on her face.
"Here you go dear! I stole the last chocolate pudding just for you!" She gave me a conspiratory wink and set the tray down on a table that swung over the bed so I could eat. The food smelled good, surprisingly, and I dug in right away. I didn't realize how hungry I was. While I ate Mrs. Weber made notes on my chart and removed a couple of machines from the room, humming softly the whole time.
"Well dear, I'll let you finish your meal while I go check on a few things. I'll pick up the tray later." She smiled, and I smiled back over my pudding. "Oh, and you should try and get some rest." Mrs. Weber started to leave the room but I felt a need to tell her something.
"Wait!" She paused and turned back, worried. I blushed and said softly, "My name's Bella." Mrs. Weber smiled broadly at me.
"Sleep well, Bella. Remember, you're safe here." And she was gone.
I felt it again, that memory that kept dancing just out of reach. I couldn't put a finger on what was tugging at my subconscious, and it bothered me. I pushed the table to the side and lowered my bed so I could get some sleep. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and closed my eyes. As the minutes ticked by, I felt myself start to drift off.
Sometime in the night I woke up to a noise, scared and alone. It took me a minute to remember where I was and relax again. I laughed at myself.
"Silly me, I'm safe." I closed my eyes again.
I'm safe…
The last thing I remember before falling asleep is remembering from somewhere a pair of very green eyes with a small ring of gold right around the pupils. A pair of green eyes that made me feel very… safe.
A/N: Who is her attacker? Does anyone know? Hmmm?
