Author's Note: Hi, OwlishEyesAndAvidQuill, here OvO (HOOT XD). Hope you enjoy this One-Shot! Probably been done before. I don't own Death Note or the other Anime mentioned! No flamers, please, this was just an idea that I couldn't get out of my head! Sorry, I can't write comedy :/ Oh well, I tried... At least I know where I stand with it, now, though...
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
L - indisputably the greatest detective this world has ever seen - sat glaring at his ally/adversary Light Yagami. It had been one hour, seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds encounting since Light had recieved a phone-call from his impatient younger sister. The two Yagami children were happily chatting away to each other whilst L burned holes into the back of Light's chair, impatient and eager to crack on with the infamous Kira case.
"Uhuh, uhuh... I know, right! I couldn't believe it either! Uhuh... yeah... uhuh..."
L rolled his alarmingly-onyx eyes. And he'd thought Light was fighting to prove his own innocence! that he was actually committed to solving this case! He sighed, playing with a loose thread from his snow-white shirt. Watari was in the kitchen baking cookies, which were taking far too long. And the Kira Task Force was out getting lunch, so there wasn't even Matsuda around to annoy...
"-And then when that Shinigami -"
-Wait a minute, WHAT?
Shi-Shi-Shi-Shi-SHINIGAMI?
With one mighty swipe, the panicking detective successfully knocked the phone out of a shocked Light's hand.
"W-What the - the place that rhymes with your name - L?" Light fumed, deeply unsettled and confused by L's sudden behaviour.
"Light Yagami, I am now one-hundred percent certain that you are, in fact, Kira!" L announced dramatically as he pointed a finger aimed at Light, his pale skin going, if possible, even paler.
Light gasped, his chocolate-brown eyes growing wide. "WHY, may I ask?" he yelped.
"You were discussing the word SH-SHINIGAMI!" L told him furiously, his voice still shaking as he uttered the taboo word.
Watari suddenly burst into the room, shocked at the scene before his eyes. "L!" he exclaimed. "What is going on in here?"
"LIGHT IS KIRA!" L shouted shrilly. "HE''S BETRAYED US ALL! HE WAS TALKING ABOUT A SHINIGAMI! We must handcuff hi- erm, DO SOMETHING ELSE TO PREVENT HIS ESCAPE!"
There was silence.
And then an act that was so shocking, so unexpected that no-one ever spoke of it again occured.
Watari face-palmed.
L's eyes, already resembling shining black marbles, grew wider still. What was going on now?
"L," Watari sighed exasperatedly. "Are you COMPLETELY oblivious to the world of manga and anime?"
"Well actually," Light piped up, "We are in a-"
"Shush, Light," Watari told the brown-haired youth. "As I was saying, L, I am getting extremely tired of this occurring. This is the fourth time this week you have accused someone of being a mass-murderer because of the word Shinigami- oh, grow up," Watari chided when L flinched so violently at the word "Shinigami" that he almost fell out of his swivel-chair.
"B-But I was so sure that it was Matsuda those first three times!" L told his English mentor irritably. "All he talked about was Sh-Shinigamis, and then I had to suspect Mogi as well, because he joined in! And then-"
"-For god's sake, L, SHINIGAMI!" Light shrieked angrily, punching the table when L predictably flinched. "BLEACH!"
"W-what?" L stuttered.
Light rolled his eyes, and tossed a thumbed-through manga novel onto L's lap. The dark-haired detective raised his eyebrows, unsure of just what to say.
"Read it. Preferably as soon as possible. And hopefully it'll knock some sense into you-"
"-Is that a threat, Kira-kun-"
(Watari) "YOU EITHER READ THE DAMN MANGA OR THEY'LL BE A COOKIE MASSACRE!"
Author's Note: Aaw, no more sugar for L D: I apologise. This is, of course, atrocious. I wrote this while over two nights. I thought it was going okay - until I looked at it in the morning XO This really should have never seen the light of day - but I thought you might like to take a look at my pitiful attempts of comedy for laughs (or lack thereof). I really, honestly did try. I didn't publish this for nothing! I needed a break from all the angst-fest I'm currently holding! To restore your faith in me, check out my other work if you wish, which I'm a little prouder of. Though I understand if you don't want to after this atrocity! Just please keep in mind that this ia all part of the creative process.
Thank-you so much for reading :)
OEAAQ x
