Well here I am again! I found some time to write another one-shot, on J4ckP0T's request. This time GinxKyuubei since you really can't find them on (not that I found some on other sites, trust me I looked) This idea struck me relatively quick so I just had to write it down! Please don't ask me how I get my idiotic titles or my ideas for Gin's ranting xD

Rating: T for swearing, Gothic Lolicon costumes and a dying message.

Also people who haven't seen the episode 88 (with the Gokon), might not get some jokes in here so if you haven't watched it, go to YouTube and search for Gin 88-1 or download the episode from Rumbel Subs

"talk"

'thoughts'

Pairing: Gin x Kyuubei

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama

Enjoy!


You don't need 'sha-sha' things if you don't have curtains

17th of March

Young Master has returned from her training. Today I'm starting my new plan to make Young Master more feminine. Otae-san's influence has already made Young Master more known to her own feminine side but Young Master still doesn't know how to discover it completely. I will now officially commence my operation to help my Young Master. I also ran to the tailors since the 'sha-sha' thing on the curtains fell off again.

18th of March

After Young Master found out about the Gothic Lolicon costume I put up in her room, I had the privilege to experience how well Young Master's training paid off. Although slightly wounded, I am very happy to see how strong she has grown. Her feminine side still remains hidden.

20th of March

Please, help Young Master…

"What the hell is this! A dying message!?" The silver samurai screamed at the top of his lungs. In his hands, he had a journal, just finished the entry that was written in something that resembled blood. The poor book barely survived as Gin noticed the last unread entry.

21st of March

I shall now go tot the tailors since we had problems with the curtains again.

"Don't screw with me!" He shouted, having read it, written in plain black ink. "How many times do you even lose those 'sha-sha' things on the curtains!" He threw the journal at the person that was non-suspiciously hidden behind his non-existent curtains, getting a clean hit, the person hitting his floor with a thud.

"You already played this trick once! She ain't going to wear that dress if she doesn't want to." He replied to the pathetic heap on the ground and scratched his curly silver hair.

He sat at his desk, indicating that this was official Yorozuya business and looked at the ash-blonde haired man. After the client had recovered from the airborne journal, he stood up and wiped some blood of off his head where said journal had landed. With a cough he straightened himself and spoke up, eyes still closed.

How the man could see with those eyes was still a mystery to Gin.

"I am here to grant you the privilege to be able to help my Young Master on discovering her feminine side." With that said, a few seconds passed in silence.

Gin quirked up an eyebrow, eyes showing no virtual emotion but laziness.

"Please, I need your help!" The man just screamed out, he fell to his knees and bowed in front of Gin's desk. The Jack-Off-All-Trades just started digging his pinky in his nose and looked at the person who was momentarily kissing his floor, bored look visually present on his face.

"Don't drool on my parquet floor." He stated flatly, bending over his desk to check. Ayumu suddenly jumped up from the floor and looked the albino right in the eyes, causing Gin to jump back in his chair, almost losing his balance, knocking some papers off the desk in the process.

Tears comically streamed down the others face and he held up a fist in determination, proclaiming that, with Sakata's help, they would succeed in making Young Master a true lady. Gin just sighed, picked up his chair, and rested his head on his hand as he half listened to Tojo Ayumu's ranting. While the latter was still continuing his speech, Gin took out his wallet and stared at the emptiness of it.

Sigh.

'Guess there's no other choice.'


"Is everything clear?" Ayumu asked as he looked at his right. He and Gin were just outside the estate, standing in front of the gates that gave entry to the prestigious garden of the Yagyuu family.

Gin looked lazily at his left. "Failed plan number fifty-six, help her discover the feminine side of herself." He recited for the twentieth time in the fifteen minute long walk from the Yorozuya to the estate. After agreeing due to his lack of money, he was dragged over here, being forced to spend his normal Jump-filled day with an aggressive man-hating cross dresser.

Oh joy.

He had left a note at the Yorozuya for Shinpachi and Kagura and had added his will for good measure, leaving his hidden chocolate stash to Shinpachi and Kagura, his Jump going to Sadaharu. The Gothic-Lolicon-costume-obsessed bodyguard looked back at the gates with an air of nobility that was only present when his Young Master was around.

"Young Master will not accept help from me," He started, gaining a look a wisdom as he turned his head to Gin again, " But she respects you, and will not refuse help from such a strong samurai who was able to, forgive me Young Master, defeat her in a rather easy way." Tears once again streaming down his face as he remembered how Gin had defeated Kyuubei, and he continued to slobber in the sleeve of his pale green yukata.

Gintoki felt his ego boost a bit and looked away, but didn't allow himself a smile of self-satisfaction. "Well what exactly…" he stopped as he realised that his client had disappeared. He looked left and right and was just in time to see Ayumu running away in the opposite direction. While he fled, he stuck up his right thumb and shouted words of encouragement, narrowly missing hitting a tree. Gin wished he had indeed hit the tree and cursed him for all he was worth.

'Che, damn coward.' He thought as he turned back at the gates. He took a deep breath and hoped she was in a good mood today, for the sake of his own health.


"How nice off you to come over Sakata-san" (AN: I've never heard Kyuubei address Gin with his name before so I'm just going with this) Kyuubei said as she led the way to the main room of her estate, passing several rooms on the way. Gin followed her and looked around the beautiful house, giving the feeling of a palace compared to his humble and run-down office. He wondered if they'd have a map for visitors.

"Gin's just fine." He replied with his normal bored tone, once again forgetting formalities or manners for that matter, Kyuubei stayed polite but decided to keep some of the formality by applying the right honorific. Once they had arrived at the room, about twice the size of his office, she motioned him to sit down and called for some tea. She sat opposite off him, eyes downcast at the table, katana resting on her right. He mirrored her position, bokuto also resting at his right, able to quickly defend himself from her if needed. The woman did hang around with Shimura Tae; some of that violence towards others must have infected her as well.

Their tea arrived and Kyuubei passed him his, careful not to touch the man's hand. Gin took note of the fact that she still had problems with even the slightest touch of a man and decided to make sure not to make her feel uncomfortable, also not wanting to visit the hospital again for another few weeks.

After a few slurps of tea, he tried to start up a conversation, starting to sweat once he realised that he didn't have the slightest clue on what to talk about with the troubled female. He found his tea very interesting and wondered if they had some sugar that he could add to his tea and boost the already sky high sugar amount in his blood even more. Screw those doctors and their dumb diagnosis, so what if he was diabetic.

One must live his life to the fullest even if it will kill him at the age of thirty-seven.

"So what is the purpose of your visit, Gintoki-kun?" Kyuubei asked in a slight demanding manner, not losing her politeness or the noble manner in which she drank her tea. She sat her tea back down and looked at the man, expecting some sort of answer. Gin let the use of the honorific slide and tried acting as normal as possible.

"I was just passing by and decided to pay you a visit. Is that such a crime?" He was rather proud of himself for thinking quickly and closed his eyes as he drank some more tea, peeking one of them open to see if she was buying his excuse.

"N-no! Of course not!" She replied with a slight stutter. She stared at the table and looked up when Gin placed his cup on it.

"I was just thinking we could do something fun today, maybe go around town a bit." Gin told her, his face not revealing much of his thoughts besides the fear of being struck down with the gleaming katana on Kyuubei's side.

"Sure, why not," She replied with a smile "We could do some fun training."

Gin sweatdropped a bit "You need to lighten up," He said with an enthusiastic voice, "It's just like with a story. You find a perfect story and you read and read. You near the end of it and decide to review, giving the author some encouragement to keep writing. After you posted your review, then you notice!" Gintoki started his rant, getting all of the girl's attention.

"The author hasn't updated in more than 3 months! You lose all hope and send a message to the author, not receiving an answer." By this Gin had already planted one foot on the table and some of the servants were listening intensely.

"After you've found out that you're ignored, you find the courage to drop the story and move to another, just to find it also hasn't been updated in the last few months. It is like a vicious circle! But then you decide to break that circle and read a one-shot, and then you can read it to the end. It gives you pleasure to know how it ends and so you decide to read a one-shot once in a while, thus breaking the vicious circle!"

At the end of his ranting, nearly all of the servants were applauding and some were taking notes. Kyuubei understood a bit what he was trying to say and smiled lightly at the man eccentric ways of explaining himself.

"We shall go to the city then."


"Hyaaa!" A man went airborne, crashed into a local dango stand and lay in a crumpled heap. All the poor man remembered that he had slightly bumped into someone by accident. The person had dark blue, almost black, long hair and an eye patch. She was accompanied by a man in his twentieths with ridiculous perm hair and a bokuto. She suddenly threw him with enormous strength into a stand and then it all went black.

"I suggest you stop doing that." Gin told Kyuubei with some boredom. The girl was slightly panting from the surprise and the effort of throwing the ill-fated man. "Edo won't have any dango stands left by the time you're finished with it." He continued walking and stopped to look if she was following him.

The female took a deep breath, calmed down and apologized to the owner of the stand with a quick bow before hurrying away to catch up with Gintoki. Thank Kami that it wasn't busy in the city today; otherwise he might need to avoid any dango stands.

'I've still got the feeling I forgot something.' He thought as they continued walking, Kyuubei careful to not bump into anyone. He slapped himself on the forehead when he remembered; he forgot to feed the dog. It was his turn today and if Sadaharu was hungry, there was nothing that could stop him, not even the Shinsengumi.

"I think I got a little problem." He announced, making the female look at him, and he changed direction, motioning her to follow him.


Kyuubei looked around the office and studied the living circumstances of these people, it could not be healthy to live in something as rundown as this. She sat in one of the dark blue couches, watching as Gin struggled to pull the bag of puppy chow, extra large format, towards the bowl that was surprisingly normal sized compared to their dog. When she had first seen Sadaharu, she was ready to defend herself with all might but quickly realised it was pretty harmless, aside from the head injuries that Gintoki suffered frequently because of it.

After pulling non-stop for three minutes, he had managed to fill the bowl and leaned against the bag for support, wiping some sweat (and blood from Sadaharu's last attack) of his brow. He went to sit opposite of her on the other dark blue couch and heaved a big sigh of relief that the dog hadn't broken out or wrecked anything while he was away.

"I suppose it takes a lot of time to take care of it." She said, studying the dog, "Not a normal one is it?" Gin nodded lightly, remembering it wasn't a normal one. At least not when it had had some strawberry milk.

"How do you keep it under contr…" She stopped and she and Gin just stared dumbfounded at how Sadaharu slided the door open and jumped outside.

"So that's how he always escapes!" Gin exclaimed loudly as if he had found a way to turn water into strawberry milk.

"Aren't you going after it?" Kyuubei asked, her gaze still on the opened door, hearing some cries in the street from the poor, terrorized Edo civilians. "Nah, we have dog catchers for that." Gin replied, standing up and walking to his desk. He picked up the phone and started dialling "In other words, the terrorists that vandalise Edo while under the disguise that they're protecting the peace around here. " He stated with a calm look on his face as he brought the phone to his ear.

"Ah, Oogushi-kun?"

She heard a muffled reply from the phone, together with some colourful cursing.

"Well you see, I have to inform you of a case. My dog seems to be lost." Kyuubei sweatdropped at Gin's formulation of the situation but continued to listen nonetheless.

Gin held the phone at arms length from his ear, as to not become deaf from the vice-commanders cursing. They heard something on the background that sounded like 'Say hello to Danna for me' together with an explosion and even more colourful vocabulary from Hijikata, as he was stating that he could have said so without a bazooka.

Shiroyasha put down the phone and hoped he wouldn't have to pay for any damage his dog would surely cause. "Might as well enjoy the rest of our trip, not?" He asked her, now standing opposite of the couch where she was sitting.

Then everything happened a little fast.

Kyuubei wanted to stand up, but she lost her balance and plummeted forward. Gintoki, being the only obstacle, received the blow full ahead and, unable to keep his balance, fell backwards on his hard, wooden floor, taking most of the impact of the fall. After they had recovered, they found that they were in a rather strange position that might suggest wrong things if not knowing the circumstances.

Unknown to both of them, Shinpachi was nearing the open door. "Gin-san, I just saw Sadaha-har-r-u…" His speech turned into incohert stuttering noises as he saw their rather compromising position. Gin with his back on the floor, elbows supporting him. Kyuubei, on top of him, chin resting on his chest. Their faces were a mere ten inches away from each other and both felt the heat collect in their faces.

Shinpachi stood there for five seconds unable to move. He screamed a quick 'Sorry for interrupting!' at them, bowed quickly and was outside with a flash, closing the door in the process.

Both were unable to move and heard 'Don't go in there Kagura-chan!' from Shinpachi two seconds before Kagura opened the door and walked past them.

"One-eye. Gin-chan" She acknowledged them both, setting her umbrella down, "Playing 'Twister'?" She asked without waiting for an answer, took some sukonbu from the kitchen and headed outside again.

Their heads turned to each other but swiftly to the door again when they heard it open for the third time in one minute. Both blinked and saw Kagura standing in the entrance once again. Without a word she stepped in, took her purple umbrella, and closed the door again.

"C-could you move over a bit." Gin asked her when he found that his ability to speak had returned. She muttered a silent sorry and quickly stood up. Gin, recovering a bit from the impact, was relieved from the pressure on his chest and stood up shakily. He was rather curious, but glad nonetheless, that Kyuubei hadn't killed him for such close contact. When a man had bumped into her, she had thrown him into the nearest building, but he had just survived being her living cushion.


"Don't you want to shop or something?" Gin asked his companion who was currently walking around town with him. Said companion looked up in slight surprise at Gin.

"Well," She turned her face away from him, "I sometimes go out shopping with Tae-chan a bit but it's rather difficult." He quirked up an eyebrow at this statement but quickly realised what she meant.

"Being raised as a boy, well yeah." She cast her eyes to the road in front of them, "Most things are too girlish for me to buy. I haven't really found something girlish that I'm comfortable with." She stated the last with a slight expression of annoyance, which gave away a few hints. Gin already had some of his own ideas of the annoyance she was thinking of after reading 'Devine Young Master's Diary by Ayumu Tojo.'

"Perfume."

"Perfume?" Kyuubei looked at the man with a mix of curiosity and confusion, not getting what he was going at.

"You're searching for something that you're comfortable with, that's also a bit girlish, right?" Nod from his left, "Perfume. A not very dramatic step but it's feminine." She brought her right hand to her chin and considered the idea.

"Men are able to distinguish good women by their perfume." She looked up at his statement and thought he was joking. However, when she saw his expression, she realised he was being serious. "Whenever a woman walks by, men are able to tell what she's like because of her perfume." He held up a fist and closed his eyes in determination. "When it is sweet or flowery, she is very kind and likes to dress up. Whenever it is bolder, she has a bit more of a temper and will not be easily intimidated! Even so, all this is common knowledge among men!"

He ended his second rant that day with even more fire than the first, earning another smile and a slight laugh from Kyuubei.

"Where to go?" She asked him, he pointed out a direction and she follow suit, happy to spend some more time with this interesting man.


"Thank you for today, Ginto.. Gin-san" She corrected herself, feeling slightly proud that she had found the confidence to leave the formal honorific behind. It was now five o' clock and Gin walked her home, saying that Shinpachi and Kagura wouldn't be back for another half an hour.

"A pleasure. I enjoyed myself as well, beats hanging around the house." It was true; he had surprisingly survived the afternoon and had really enjoyed himself. He found his job was rather successful but didn't tell Kyuubei that he came around because of Ayumu in the first place. Even so, she had bought some perfume and was already weating it on their way home.

A not to bold perfume with a slight flowery scent to it, indicating that there was a feminine side, something small and hidden, but oh so beautiful, as so had the shopkeeper told them.

He found it rather amusing to see that she looked as happy as a three year old who got a teddy bear for her birthday. Even if she had endured a lot and hadn't really had much of a childhood, she still knew how to have some fun. Arriving at the Yagyuu estate, she made a small bow and thanked him again.

"Don't be so uptight, I told you I hate formalities." He stated flatly, arms crossed in front of his chest, shifting his weight on his right leg.

Kyuubei looked up at him and straightened herself. She stood there for a few seconds and looked like she was mentally debating something. Gin was expecting some kind of assault but was rather surprised at her actions. She quickly embraced his waist and muttered a silent and truthful 'thank you' in his chest. He was a little shocked but just looked down at the girl, and muttered that she was welcome. As quickly as it came, it was gone and she let him go, and Gin felt the warmth leave his body. She turned around as fast as she could and almost jumped inside as the gates went open.

Gin stood there with a few seconds, his boot digging in the dirt a bit. 'I enjoyed that too much'. He mentally cursed himself and walked away.


Shinpachi opened the door carefully but then remembered that Kagura was home, so surely Gin wouldn't invite Kyuubei over to..emm.. Play 'Twister'. He stepped inside and greeted them all, receiving various responses.

He digged through the mail and stopped when he saw a bill that came from the Shinsengumi, demanding repair costs for their barracks and also an extra amount to pay for the hospital costs. He sighed and knew that their recently earned money (Gin hadn't told them what job it was) was going up in smoke. He also found a black notebook and curiously opened it.

22nd of March

Today Young Master wore perfume! I am so proud of her! Setting the boss of the Yorozuya on the case was a splendid idea, whatever he has done; Young Master has finally started to develop her feminine side. I also have ordered 'sha-sha' things since the tailor didn't have any more in stock.

After reading the entry, a light covered his glasses and without another word, he went over to the kitchen. As he passed the perm's desk, he dropped the journal on it with a thud, making the latter look up from his Jump.

"You've got mail."


Well that's it! Shinpachi's always having such perverted thoughts! xD Also if you don't know the meaning of a Japanese word, Wiki or Google it. I'm too lazy to post it here.

Also there was no kiss in this one. Because, in my opinion, Kyuubei already has a hard time with even the slightest touch, so a hug is already a big step for her. And for any of you out there who don't know what Twister is, Wiki it.

Now I hope you enjoyed and do you see that green button? Yes? Well just click it, click the cute button or else Okita will come to kill you in your sleep. Over and out.