Melodies of my dreams
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, it belongs to Stephanie Meyers. I don't own the songs within this chapter, and they are as follows: Jewel- Angel Standing By, Florence and the Machine- Howl, Florence and the Machine- Cosmic Love, Incubus- Wish You Were Here, Incubus- Love Hurts.
Chapter One
Bella knew she was dreaming again, she'd been having this same dream since she was twelve years old and had had it every night this week.
She was standing in the middle of a field of grass, golden from the summer heat, with a dark gray sky above. Thunder clouds, thick and heavy, filled the wide expanse, while delicate bolts of lightning flashed between them.
In the air before her hung a small movie screen, images of a blonde man flickered across it a quick rate.
He looked around her age, maybe a year or so older, and he had wheat blonde hair that went well with his tanned skin and soft grayish-silver eyes. He had a strong jaw that would clench in the midst of battle.
He was a soldier, a warrior really.
From the uniform, she knew he was a confederate soldier in the Civil War, but when he fought, his prowess in battle made him shine above everyone around him.
Then the images shifted, and he looked different.
His skin became snowy white, his beautiful eyes turned a startling shade of crimson and his hair was more honey than wheat.
But he was still a warrior, just a much fiercer one now.
She watched him fight, one on one, and in many group battles against others of his kind. And he never lost. Not one single battle. He would tear through everything and anybody.
Humans and whatever creature he now was alike couldn't stand against him.
Since the very first dream, she suspected he was a vampire, mainly due to the scenes of him and others like him, drinking blood. Having dreams of vampires, especially bloody and violent ones, probably would scare normal people, but Bella had always known she wasn't normal.
Since she was a child, she'd had semi-prophetic dreams. They wouldn't always come true, but generally, they did. She could also see people's auras.
When Bella was twelve, she'd gone camping with her dad in the beautiful forests near his house in Forks Washington. They'd taken a day to hike around the mountainous area and had found the very same field that she would dream about.
A summer thunderstorm had blown in and they had started back to their camp to wait it out, but before they were able to cross the field, something strange, painful, and life altering happened.
Bella was struck by lightning.
She'd only spent a couple of days on the hospital, since she wasn't seriously injured, according to the doctors anyway. Her father, however, told he a different story.
He'd been there when it happened after all, and told her that the lightning had been so strong, that smoke had come off her head and her heart had stopped for five minutes.
She'd been dead for a full five minutes. But the doctors found nothing wrong, no damage what-so-ever. And since then, she'd changed.
She got prophetic dreams, saw the energy that surrounded everything living and inanimate and she healed at a freakishly abnormal rate.
When Charlie, her dad, had gotten her home, he'd called Renee, her mom, in Phoenix and had her come to Forks. Needless to say, she hadn't believed Charlie when he told her what had happened, and they had fought.
The argument had gotten nasty and Renee had threatened to never let Bella see her dad again, and Bella had gotten desperate.
She'd grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut her hand. Her mom had freaked, to say the least, but Bella held up her hand and all three watched in awe as the four inch long cut sealed up before their eyes on a matter of minutes.
When things calmed down, Renee ended up reacting the opposite of Charlie after that incident, and Bella found it hard to stomach her mother's fear.
She'd stayed in Phoenix only another year, and then moved to Forks to live with her dad. She would get sporadic emails and a card with money every birthday, but that was the last time she saw her mother in the flesh, and it was hard not to resent her for the abandonment over something she had no control over.
Her attention was drawn back to the 'movie' as it reached one of her favorite parts; he walked away.
He left the like of murder and mayhem in his dust and discovered a life that made him happier.
Instead of humans, he started to drink from animals, something she was dying to ask him about, but Bella was pretty sure this dream wasn't a foretelling.
She'd never seen the man in the flesh for the six years she'd dreamed of him, so at this point she figured he was just a product of her wishing he was real.
She felt so drawn to him, so it was disappointing to know he didn't exist.
After moving to Forks, she'd turned into a bit of a wild child, since she really didn't get hurt, she took a lot of risks she wouldn't have otherwise. And since her dad never had to worry about her getting injured, he let her get away with things no sane parent would let slide.
She'd always been extremely intelligent, so when she discovered her passion for singing and music, her dad let her test out of high school her junior year and supported her choice of going to a college of the arts a week after her 18th birthday.
The semester had already started, but she'd been able to cut through the red tape and had gotten accepted to Cornish College of the Arts in record time.
The Dean and Provost had gone on and on about her being a true talent and had promised her a bright future in the limelight, but Bella didn't care about being famous, she just loved to sing and make music.
The blonde from he dreams had inspired some of her best songs and the qusi-lullaby she had written for him was the very song that had gotten her accepted at Cornish.
A loud, shrill noise interrupted the 'movie' and the field went fuzzy.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Bella groaned and smacked her alarm, knocking it from its perch on her loft bed's railing. At least the annoying thing had shut up. But the her phone went off with another alarm.
"Alright for fucks sake! I'm up!" she grumbled and sat up.
Her irritation at having to get up washed away as she got a look at her new dorm room.
Cornish College for the Arts.
Now excited, she scrambled down out of her bed and grabbed her shower bag, more than ready to start her day.
It was her first day of classes, having moved in the night before. Bella was lucky enough to get a single room with a small bathroom attached. Her room was one of six that connected to a central living room and a tiny eat-in kitchen.
The other five rooms were already filled, but she hadn't met any of them yet. Her RA, an entirely too perky and ditzy blonde named Cara, had told her last night that there were two other girls and three guys that shared the suite. Two sophomores and three freshmen like her.
She was in and out of the shower in fifteen minutes, and when she was done, she smeared in the goop that semi-tamed her hair and left the honey mahogany streaked with white, the only visible physical evidence left from the lightning, locks to dry naturally into waves and curls that fell to her waist.
She huffed as she took in the white streaks; no matter how often she tried to color her hair, the white remained, so she'd given up on trying to cover it.
After she dried off, Bella put on her black lace boy shorts and matching strapless bra set, then slipped into a pair of black low rise hip huggers that fit he like a second skin and a black lace up corset, that showed off her pale, creamy shoulders.
The top was low enough in the back that her tattoo was showing. In the high center of her shoulder blades sat a large orchid shaded in blues and purples with black tribal vines with thorns snaking out to trace along her shoulders, up the back of her neck, and curved around to lick her collar bones and upper arms.
Bella had gotten it on her 18th birthday; her mom's present for getting into Cornish, even if Renee didn't know it. The last of the scabs had fallen off the night she'd gotten it, so she was happy that she could show it off and that her skin hadn't rejected the ink.
She pulled on her black kitten heeled calf boots, then grabbed her make-up and jewelry bags and went back into the bathroom. She set aside the pouch that held her piercings and quickly applied her black mascara and eyeliner and a smoky shadow. A light coat of her black cherry lip gloss and her make-up was done.
Bella opened the zippered pouch and put in her piercings. Well, repierced them anyway.
Sometimes her healing ability could be a pain in the butt, well, more like her face, but still.
She put in a small, rounded stub spike labret, a delicate barbell in each eyebrow, and her spiked industrial that double pierced the top of her right ear.
Ok, maybe her healing was cool, since the holes didn't get red or bleed very much.
Bella glanced at the clock and noticed she was running a little behind, she only had eighteen minutes to get to Kerry Hall, so she didn't have time to grab any breakfast. She slung her guitar across her back, tightened the strap, and grabbed her messenger bag, before running out the door.
Her first class was ten blocks away, so she would have to take her bike instead of the shuttle. Darn.
The sky was overcast and gray, with thick clouds promising rain, but then again Seattle was known for being overcast and rainy. Nothing she wasn't used to; it was just like home. She had grown to love the damp world that was Washington. When the sun finally did come out it made it all the more beautiful to see.
She loved the thick green forests, the earthy and slightly musky smell of damp foliage; there was always a sense of life. And now that she lived in the city, it brought a whole new feeling of excitement to everything.
She hopped on her shiny black Honda Fury and grinned as it growled to life. She loved her bike, and the fact that her mom would freak if she knew Bella was riding it. Since she'd got a scholarship to Cornish, her dad let her use part of her collage fund to get this baby. She gave it a loving pat and pulled into traffic.
Fifteen minutes later she was in student parking and had to run to her class on the third floor of Kerry Hall. She was running a tad late and as she bolted from the stair way, stupid elevator wasn't working, she saw the professor swinging the door shut.
Not wanting to miss her first class, Bella sprinted down the hall and managed to get her hand in the door before it closed. Unfortunately, the professor didn't see her and pulled the door closed a little too hard and her fingers got slammed.
She grimaced as she felt her fingers break.
He opened the door quickly when he noticed her and exclaimed, "Dear lord! Are you alright?"
"Fine," she murmured and slipped past him into the room. She cradled her injured left hand against her stomach to hide the damage. She kept her head down as she made her way to the back of the class, and she could feel the other students staring at her.
Bella slung off her guitar and slipped into the chair, she kept her hand hidden under the swivel desktop and felt along the bent digits of her injury. It was an easy fix and she was grateful that none of the bones had pierced her skin, so there wouldn't be any blood to give her away.
Bella firmly gripped each broken finger and ruthlessly pulled each until they popped back into place. They'd heal quicker if she reset them instead of waiting for her healing to do it for her.
A soft gasp made her look to her left, but any thought she had that she had been caught flew right the hell out of her head as she took in the person sitting next to her.
No fucking way! It was him!
The blonde from her dream was sitting not two and a half feet from her, and he looked just as she'd dreamed him. Honey blonde hair that fell in shaggy curls to his chin, smooth snowy skin and his eyes were the tawny gold they'd turned to when he changed his diet to animals.
She stared at him, her jaw hanging open in shock and recognition. Unconsciously she had turned to face him, but when his eyes flicked down to look at her hand and he started in surprise, she remembered her fingers.
She held up the previously injured hand and flexed it to show that it was back to normal and his eyes met hers in curiosity and awe. Bella wasn't sure how long she sat there staring and memorizing his face, but she was jolted out of her musings as the professor called her name.
"Isabella Swan?"
"Bella, please," she corrected absently as she reluctantly tore her gaze from his and looked at the teacher.
"Bella, if you would, come to the front with your guitar. I'd like you to play a song, preferably one of your own. It's my way of introducing you to your classmates, one that they've all gone through, so don't feel singled out," he explained.
She nodded and retrieved her twelve string acoustic from its case and went to sit on the stool at the front of the room. She glanced at the pretty hand stitched strap and then slipped it over her head and settled it on her shoulder.
She went over the songs she could play, but as her eyes fell on him, she knew just the one she wanted to sing. Excitement filled her as it sunk in that she would actually get to play him one of the songs that he had inspired.
She tuned her strings for a couple of minutes, letting the bones of her fingers heal just a little more. She settled her left hand to cup the fret board and started strumming.
Gentle, high pitched notes, almost like a harp, sounded and she began to sing in a high soprano.
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And all through the night I'll be standing over you
And through bad dreams I'll be right there baby
Holding your hand telling you everything's going to be alright
When you cry I'll be there baby
Telling you were never nothing less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your angel standing by
Silence met the end of her song and Bella looked up nervously. Writ over everyone's faces, was surprise, including the professor's.
He cleared his throat after a minute and asked, "Could you play another one?"
Bella grinned and nodded, thinking of what else she could play. She spotted a pretty, red electric guitar next to a small amp by the teachers desk and asked him, "May I?"
He nodded and she changed guitars, and then flipped the amp on. The first song was sweet, but the next one wasn't. It had a bit of an edge, just like the vampire in her dreams that had inspired it.
When she was honest with herself, she knew that she'd fallen for her dream guy long ago, as corny as that sounded. But it had spoiled her for any other relationships. She'd turned down all the guys in high school that had asked her out, and hadn't been interested in any of the other guys she had either.
At the time, she thought the blonde was made up in her mind, so she'd been a bit pissed at herself for not giving anyone else the time of day.
But it had just felt wrong to try, so she hadn't.
As it turned out, she wasn't crazy after all and she had to tell him how he made her feel, even if it was only expressed in a song, even if he never spoke a single word to her, it had to be said. Or sung, as the case may be.
She stared playing and her voice came out husky.
If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart
Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that makes the night for which I have to howl
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to
Howl, howl
Howl, howl
Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground
Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you and tear out all of your tenderness
And howl, howl
Howl, howl
Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them into hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters
The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress
Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground
And howl
Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them into hunters
A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright
If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground
That song was hard to play without her synth, but she managed pretty well. She smiled at her teacher and asked sweetly, "Anything else?"
He returned her smile, looking excited, but before he could speak a smooth voice from the back of the classroom drawled in a soft southern accent, "Play another."
Bella looked and saw him gazing back at her with intense eyes. She didn't wait for the professor to say yay or nay, she just switched to her acoustic and started to play.
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Oh, Oh, Oh
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Oh, Oh, Oh
The last few notes of her harp/guitar played and the bell to signal the end of class rang. Despite all the emotions that overwhelmed her, Bella calmly thanked the professor for letting her use his electric, then went to put away her guitar and gather her things.
After she slinged both the case and her bag over her shoulder, she left the classroom. She didn't meet anyone's eyes, she just bolted before she did something to embarrass herself.
Like proclaiming her undying love to someone she hadn't even spoken to yet.
Belatedly, she realized she didn't even know his name and cursed herself. She'd have to wait until Monday, when she had class again and since it was Friday, she'd have to wait all weekend. Or she might bump into him around the dorms.
She only had the one class that day, so the rest of the afternoon was free and she had no clue what to do with herself. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since early yesterday, so she hopped on her bike and went to scare up some lunch.
She drove around for a bit and settled on a cute Mexican restaurant called Taco Del Mar Kitchen C B over on Harrison Street. While she was eating, she overheard a family talking about going to a park only a couple of miles away.
From what she gathered, it was a place that you could both picnic and relax as well as visit parts of the eight mile long nature preserve.
It sounded like just what she needed; an afternoon of fresh air and she could work on some of her songs, since she had her guitar and her song books with her. She finished eating and asked her waiter for directions to the park.
When she got there, it wasn't very crowded due to the weather, but Bella knew it wouldn't rain until tonight. After her little incident with the lightning, she could sense out storms. She was more sensitive to the pressures in the sir currents, but she just looked at it like an extension of her ability to see auras and energy.
She found a stone picnic table that sat at the edge of the park near the nature preserve, that looked out over the inlet bay that connected to the ocean. She breathed in the salty air and felt her tension drain out of her.
Bella got out her spiral notebook and flipped to a clean page. She'd have to get a new one soon, since the one she was using was almost full.
The sound of the waves lapping, the clear semi-crisp air that smelled of the beginning of autumn, the quiet stillness of being the only person around for at least a mile, everything was so peaceful.
Like so many times before, Bella wished she could share this moment with him.
Smiling gently, she thought of the nights she would sit on her roof and stare at the stars, wishing he was there with her to take in the beauty of the midnight sky. She grabbed a pen and started writing.
He'd done it again. He'd inspired her.
She worked on the lyrics for a while, then got out her guitar and started working on the music. She pulled out her composing book, and started filling in the blank lines of the scales with notes.
When she wrote her music, she would first work it out to play on her acoustic, and then rewrite a version with other instruments worked in. A few hours later and she had a finished song, all that was left was to put the lyrics to the music.
Bella cast a quick glance around, and when she noticed she was still alone, she didn't like strangers commenting on her songs before she was ready for anyone to hear them, she started to play.
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
pretending I am weightless
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I lay my head unto the sand
the sky resembles a backlit canopy
with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's, I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment I am happy, happy...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
The world is a roller coaster
and I am not strapped in
maybe I should hold with care
but my hands are busy in the air
I wish you were here
I wish you were...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
wish you were here...
She sighed as the last note left her mouth and rested her forehead on her acoustic. Sometimes she felt so silly having these emotions for a person she'd now only seen once.
But that wasn't really true, she argued with herself. She'd been dreaming about him for almost six years. In truth, she'd thought him made up, but now she knew he was real.
'And what makes you think he'd want you anyway?' she thought nastily to herself, her mood now turning dark.
She felt so conflicted, the previous air of peace evaporated as she warred with herself. Frustrated, she forced herself to take a few deep breaths and played the song that could usually snap her out of her funk with its slow, almost melancholy air.
Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a girl
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a girl
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
Love hurts, ohhh-oh ohh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts la-la-la-la-la-la oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
"That was beautiful," she heard behind her unexpectedly, making her jump.
