Okay, so when he got into that little [okay huge] argument with Rachel last night and she stormed out of his house he totally didn't expect her to go running to Santana of all people [seriously, what the fuck is up with his midget girlfriend suddenly being all bffs with Satan all of a sudden this year?] But apparently she did because as he's making his way over to Rach's locker to ask her what the hell her fucking problem is [confront her, beg for forgiveness same shit, okay] he sees the devil's spawn herself standing next to her with her arms wrapped around her shoulders and glaring at him like she just wants to annihilate his fucking sorry ass. As he gets closer to the Dynamic Duo he notices that Rachel's body is shaking and that her hands are hiding her face as she cries into Santana's chest.
He slows down because now he feels like a complete douche. See, he's a protective fucker and never lets anyone who hurts his midget in any way get away with it unscathed. By now the entire school gets the message to back the fuck away and leave her alone. [She's actually become popular now cause she started to, you know, be less intense and in your face all the time but that's beside the point.] Anyways, he kind of doesn't know what to do now that he's the idiot that actually had the balls to hurt her. He can't kick his own ass [kinda fucking impossible dumbass].
"Puck you fucking bitch ass motherfucker," Lopez growls when he reaches the girls. "I'm going to kill you for making her fucking cry you pansy ass. Just wait till I get her to the choir room bitch."
That actually makes him pale a little bit [not a lot, definitely not a lot; he's a badass after all] because fuck he's gonna get his ass kicked by legit every single one of the Gleeks, new and old. They all love Rachel because she's not only his midget but theirs, too. She's the tiniest out of all of them and they all feel like she needs the most protecting [which, if she knew that they thought that she would flip her fucking lid then think it was like sweet or something]. So yeah, he's totally a dead man.
"Rach, baby can we talk for a sec?" Puck pleads desperately. He feels like an ass for making her cry even though he isn't even sure what he really did. It was like one second they were talking about how they were going to New York after graduation [yeah, he got into NYU suck on that bitches] and what they were going to do after they get out of college and when they start talking about kids and marriage, he said that both things should wait until after they graduated college and got settled and stuff when she proceeded to flip out and start yelling that not everything goes as planned. Which confused the fuck out of him cause she's the one that's always talking about organization and planning and shit.
"Don't call me that," Rachel wailed pitifully. "I hate you this is your entire fault!"
Now he's kinda pissed because everyone is looking at him like he's a fucking douche [which hello he already feels like so fuck off assholes]. He doesn't understand what's going on right now. And seriously when the fuck did Santana Lopez become her protector? Cause honestly the looks he's getting from her right now make him feel like she's planning his murder in a very slow and painful way.
"Rachel, I'm sorry but I really have no idea what I did," Puck tries again. "Just tell me and I swear I'll make it up to you; whatever it is."
Suddenly, it's like it all clicks into place in his mind. Crying when he said they should wait to have kids, crying a lot and all the cravings all the time. He doesn't know why he didn't figure it out before cause now that he knows he feels really stupid. And knowing Rachel, she probably thinks he would like leave her or something once he found out that she was pregnant.
He can tell that Santana knows that he's figured it out because she's searching his face and when she finds whatever it was she was looking for she nods imperceptibly and gives him this soft look before handing Rachel over to him. She squeezes Rachel's handing reassuringly before turning and leaving them to talk alone.
"Baby," Puck murmurs so only Rachel can hear him, "you're pregnant aren't you?" All he gets from her is a nod of her head and more sniffles.
"You're mad aren't you?" she asks mournfully. "You don't love me anymore because it's far earlier than we ever planned. You're going to leave me and...and…"
"Baby, baby, baby, I'm not mad," Puck hurried to reassure her before she continued with her crazy ass train of thought. "I love you now more than ever because that's my baby inside of you and I will most definitely never ever leave you. I am going to marry you one day Rachel Berry, I promise you, when the time is right."
"Oh Noah," Rachel sighs looking up at him with love-filled eyes. "You really mean that don't you?"
"Course I do baby," Puck laughs lightly. "Love you and Puck Jr."
"I love you too Noah," Rachel giggles. "Oh and Noah?"
"Yeah babe?"
"We are not naming our baby Puck Jr."
"Well, why not?"
"Because I said so and if you enjoy our sex life at all you will shut up and agree with me."
"…"
"…"
"Fine..."
