F This! - I'm Going To Hogwarts!
A 'British Version' rewrite by Oriondruid
Disclaimer & Author's notes: These song lyrics are not entirely mine, but they are an almost complete rewrite intended to Anglicise a song which was originally written by a female American student and make it more 'culturally relevant' to UK Harry Potter fans. The original American version is available from You Tube amongst other online sources and is brilliant! Well worth seeing for her excellent ukulele playing alone! If you've not heard it then track it down on Google and give it a go. For some flaming annoying reason unknown this damn onsite text editor won't let me improve the near non existent text spacing it has assigned this document, or even add spaces between the verses, Grrrrr! So apologies that it's too cramped.
I fell asleep at a football game, 'cos if you ask me it was pretty tame.
Man United are not my dish, I'd much rather be playing Quidditch!
On a tennis court I might trip and die, I'd rather be on a pitch where I can fly.
No I don't like any muggle sports
F This! - I'm going to Hogwarts!
I really hate my comprehensive school, the teachers there they are so uncool.
They drone on and on like boring old farts, whilst I'd prefer to learn Defence Against the Dark Arts.
I made some potions in a chemistry class, but the teacher there threatened to kick my ass.
I've cast curses at him, load's of different sorts. (They didn't work though).
F This! - I'm going to Hogwarts!
I went walking in the Charing Cross Road, trying to find a shop that could sell me a toad.
Diagon Alley was nowhere to be seen, and the people I asked were just insulting and mean.
I really need to get some Ton Tongue Toffee, but all they would sell me was Starbuck's Coffee.
I went back home again with nothing bought.
F This! - I'm going to Hogwarts!
I hear they've opened Warner Studio, but it's so far away and I've no money to go.
I'd really love to look at all the props, but if I sneaked in there then they'd call the cops.
When I grow up then I'll get a good job, I'll save all of my money and not spend a single 'bob'.
Then I'll go to Universal Resorts, 'cos now the theme park's built.
F This! - I'm going to Hogwarts!
