We're Not Your Personal Army, Warden

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age.

Note: Some people feel that if the Landsmeet won't let you (Cousland or otherwise) become solo Queen/King or won't let your non-Cousland become a consort, you can just take the armies you gathered to fight the Blight up to Soldier's Peak and play chicken with the Landsmeet while the Blight continues to ravage the land. I disagree.

Angélique Amell hadn't been so very angry since that one time that Jowan had attempted to blame her for the fact that she had totally ended up tattling about his epic escape plan to Irving. Honestly, he was the blood mage, not her. She was even madder than that one time that Greagoir had suggested that maybe she stop talking about how pretty she was for five minutes. She had put up with a lot in the name of stopping the Blight but everyone had their breaking point and she'd just found hers.

She had gone straight from Denerim and that disastrous Landsmeet back to Redcliffe and had summoned before her the leaders of the mages, Dalish elves, and dwarves.

"Warden, what is the meaning of this?" Lanaya wanted to know. "We haven't heard anything about what the humans have decided."

"The humans," Angélique scoffed. "Why should any of us care about them?"

"Angélique," Irving said tiredly. "Being a mage and being human are not mutually exclusive. Honestly, not even the Chantry says that."

"We're leaving," Angélique announced. "All of us."

"The Archdemon has been spotted then?" Baizyl inquired, perking up.

"Oh no, I have no idea where that is," Angélique said dismissively. "And it doesn't matter anyway as long as it doesn't go to Soldier's Peak."

"And why is that?" Lanaya asked, frowning.

"Because that's where we're going to be staying and refusing to help fight the Blight at," Angélique explained as if she were talking to a particularly dull child. "And if the Blight comes to us there then we won't really be able to ignore them very well without getting ourselves killed."

"I had never expected to come to the Surface and, quite frankly, I don't like it," Baizyl said quietly. "But I did it because my fellow dwarves and I were called upon by ancient treaties to aid the Grey Wardens against the Blight. Why in the world would we agree to just pretend it isn't happening? I could do that just as well from Orzammar."

"I was at the Landsmeet and had a most grave injustice done to me," Angélique said, her bright violet eyes brimming with tears.

Irving gave a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, Angélique, you're absolutely gorgeous and whoever told you that maybe you should stop talking about that doesn't understand you in the slightest."

Angélique managed to flash him a sunny smile through her tears. "Th-that wasn't it," she said bravely. "But I do thank you. What happened was that we managed to convince everyone how totally evil Loghain was and then after we killed him, Arl Eamon said that everyone had decided that Alistair was going to be king. Since no one had done anything of the sort, Alistair pointed that out and Anora took that to mean that he was withdrawing his candidacy and so generously offered to be queen but Eamon said that she couldn't be impartial and asked me to pick someone."

"Being asked to choose a monarch is a great honor," Baizyl said reverently. "I do not really see how that is a grave injustice and you certainly had no problem choosing our king."

"No, that wasn't it either," Angélique said despondently. "They asked me who should become the new ruler and so I said that Alistair should and that I would rule beside him and they said…they said…"

"Yes?" Lanaya prompted, expertly masking her irritation.

"They said no!" Angélique wailed. "After everything I've done for them they were all like 'awkward silence' and Alistair was all 'don't be silly, Angélique, mages can't become queen.' How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me! He'd stopped flinching whenever he looked at me and everything!"

"You know that Chantry policy – which has greatly affected Ferelden law – states that mages cannot hold titles and 'princess-consort' is a title," Irving explained. "Not to mention that any children you had would have a higher risk of becoming a mage and would thus be unable to assume the throne."

"I don't care!" Angélique said wildly. "This isn't fair. If they are going to be so horrible to me and not even let me completely ignore their long-cherished laws and traditions then why should I save them from the Blight?"

"Because you're a Grey Warden and it's your duty," Lanaya responded promptly.

"Because if you don't the darkspawn will ravage the land unchecked and eventually kill you as well," Baizyl supplied.

"Because if you don't then the Chantry will probably come after you," Irving told her.

"They know what they must do if they want my help," Angélique said solemnly. "And I told them where to find me if they come around. Let's go."

"Warden…I hate to have to say this, I really do but…we're not going anywhere," Baizyl told her bluntly.

Angélique's jaw dropped. "What? But why not?"

"Because we're not your personal army and this is stupid," Baizyl told her honestly.

"Yes you are," Angélique countered.

"How do you figure that?" Lanaya asked her, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"Well, you're all here because I solved all of your problems and have been acting like I'm in charge," Angélique reasoned. "That makes you all my own personal army."

"We're following you because of your treaty, Angélique," Irving corrected her. "We were not in a position to honor our treaty with the Grey Wardens before you helped, yes, and we are all very grateful but the fact remains that we are here to fight the Blight."

"Agreed," Baizyl said, nodding. "I'm already up to my ears in dwarven politics and I do not need to be involved in this."

"If we Dalish are seen as holing up somewhere safe and just watching as the Blight devours the land then my people will be persecuted with renewed vigor once this is over," Lanaya added.

"So what are you saying?" Angélique demanded. "That if I go up to Soldier's Peak you'll just stay here and wait for Eamon and everyone else and fight the Blight without me?"

"Yes, yes that's exactly what we're saying," Irving told her, pleased that she had managed to catch on so quickly.

"Well fine," Angélique cried as she turned on her heel and began to storm away from them. "But don't come crying to me when the Landsmeet never lets you do anything!"

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