Zoro tries and epically fails trying to teach his captain math.

The whole crew had agreed to give Luffy basic schooling. It was a hard decision involving many arguments, whining from a monkey, more arguments, meat, a missing mouse trap and even a few mushrooms but it was done. They were to give Luffy basic schooling.

Zoro, to his shame fell asleep at the meeting.

"Zoro? Zoro? ZORO! WAKE UP!" Nami shouted.

"Ahhhh yeah?" He muttered annoyed at being woken

"The meetings over."

"Good. We've no hope of teaching him. It's just-"

"You get to teach him math."

"Wha-? MATH! You gotta be joking! I'm crap at math! How am I supposed to teach it to him?"

She shrugged, "Just do adding. He might be able to do that. Probably."

Zoro put his head in his hands, "What is adding?"

But Nami had already walked out of the room.

"I'm dead."

He was shoved into the 'teaching room' by Nami and Zoro cursed for all he was worth. He'd fight back but Sanji would be after him and Nami had gotten stronger. Not enough to kill him but she was damn scary sometimes.

Luffy sat pouting in a corner, looking as if the end was nigh and he might as well curl up into a corner and hide away from the nightmare that was math…

Zoro coughed, "Luffy, shall we get on with it?"

He spoke politely as possible as Zoro felt sorry for Luffy. He had already been to school and suffered the torture, why put him through it again?

Luffy sniffed but did nothing. Zoro felt a pang of affection and put a comforting (big and tanned) arm around him.

"Come on, Luffy. I'll just do some counting with you. Okay?"

Zoro felt uncomfortable. He normally wasn't like this but Luffy had an affect on people he, or no one else for that matter could figure out. They were just drawn to him., Like flies to poo…

Zoro stopped thinking as a huge pile of dung wearing a straw hat appeared in his mind with tiny little flies, one with three swords and another with ginger hair, flying around it.

Luffy looked at Zoro, "Kay…"

"Count to 5 for me then."

"1…2…3…4…5." Luffy said, touching his fingers.

"Good. Now 6 to 11."

"EH? 11? But I like the number 10!"

"…Why 10?"

"Cause that's how many people I'm going to gave on my ship Zoro!"

"Okay…Count to ten then" He said, sighing and pitying the teachers Luffy had at school.

"But Zoro this is boring!"

"You can do history with Robin again if you like."

"NO!"

"No?"

"HELL NO! It was HELL!"

"…I don't wanna know, Luffy."

"I'm hungry."

Trust him to think about food, "We only have a few minutes left any way."

"I'm hungry."

"You can wait."

"I'm cold."

Was he always like this? Zoro thought back. Yes, he was but that's what everyone liked about him. Zoro sighed and allowed Luffy to huddle closer to him.

"You're like a human radiator Zoro!"

"I'm supposed to be teaching you math not about furniture. Can't you just count to 10?"

"10 is too big."

"Okay…"

"I'm sleepy."

"Let's count sheep then."

"Zoro that's stupid. There's no sheep here!"

"It's something people do when they want to go to sleep. 1 sheep jumps over a fence…2 sheep…3 sheep….Get it?"

"How can sheep jump over a fence? What if you don't fall asleep for ages, there'll be loads of sheep!"

"…Okay, one sheep goes through a gate and then comes out and it keeps doing that 'cause it's lost. Get it?"

"The sheep sounds like you Zoro!"

"…Okay…." Zoro forced himself to keep calm, "So one sheep goes through the fnce…"

"And comes back out!"

"It goes back in."

"OUT!"

"…In…"

"OUT!"

"In."

They continued like this until they actually did fall asleep and Nami found them in the morning.

She saw Luffy and Zoro lying next to each other and thinking trying to wake Zoro was too much effort she shook Luffy awake.

"How was your math lesson?"

"We played a game! In and out!"

"…In and out?"

Luffy nodded, "I said I was cold and Zoro kept me warm, he told me to say out and he'd say in! Get it?"

Nami screamed. How was that math?