A/N: So this is my first time posting at ffnet and also the first time writing & posting a Rookie Blue fic. It's also something like a "dress rehearsal" to see if anybody even wants to read what I am writing (as I am working on a much longer RB fic at the moment :-) )
This fic exists because of the prompt "Andy/Sam, flowers" and I've written it for the fabulous nebakanezer, who's also my beta and who did a superfantastic job! Thank you!
A Wish For Something More
And you look at me and say
I'm your best friend every day
But I wish for something, wish for something more
Oh, I love you like a friend but let's not pretend
How I wish for something, wish for something more
(A Wish For Something More - Amy MacDonald)
There were not many things Andy McNally dreaded, but her birthday was one of them. Exactly sixteen years ago, on her 12th birthday her mother had left her and everything had changed. When she had woken up on that day she had been a little girl whose father was going to teach her how to pick a lock but instead her childhood had evaporated and her young life had been shattered into pieces. Since then she had never celebrated her birthday and today, her 28th birthday, would be no different.
The only person apart from her father who knew that today was her birthday was Traci.
When they were in the locker room after their shift Traci hugged her tightly and gave her a painting of colorful flowers, "With love, from my little man!" Her best friend told her with a proud smile. The two women hugged again and then Andy headed home, where another surprise was waiting for her.
Obviously there was another person who knew what day it was because she found a bunch of daisies leaning against her door and next to it stood a box. When she knelt down to open it, she found a little cupcake with a single candle in the middle of it.
The person who had placed the gifts here didn't only seem to know that it was her birthday today, but also that daisies were her favorite flowers. When she picked them up, she inhaled their sweet scent deeply and it reminded her immediately of endless summer days filled with laughter and ice cream.
The cupcake also wasn't just any ordinary cupcake, it was a caramel mocha cupcake, which she adored. There was just one person in the world who knew that she'd do anything for her 'bad day remedy' aka caramel mocha cupcakes. Just one person who had driven her more than once to the only coffee shop that made them just the way she liked them that happened to be a 30 minutes drive away from the barn.
She went inside, picking up her phone she dialed the number that she could have dialed in her sleep.
It took a few moments until he finally picked up and gruffly said, "Swarek."
"How did you find out?" she asked without any further introduction.
"Excuse me?" She could practically hear him smiling over the phone and couldn't help but roll her eyes even though he couldn't see her.
"Did you snoop around in my file?" She didn't know if she should be annoyed or feel flattered that he'd do something like that just to find out when her birthday was.
"I am your training officer, so when I have to look up something in your file, it's research not snooping," he stated matter of factly.
"You were my training officer and calling this research is ridiculous!" She tried to sound annoyed but failed miserably.
"Did you at least like the flowers?" he asked, trying to change the topic.
"Yes. They are my favorites."
"I know." His voice suddenly sounded a bit husky making her heart beat just a little quicker. They were approaching dangerous territory and both of them were very much aware of it.
"Thank you, Sam," she said and took out one of the daisies and began twirling it between her fingers.
He broke the short and awkward silence by asking, "So is Callaghan's treating you to a special birthday dinner later?"
The daisy lost a petal and fell to the floor.
She took a deep breath before she replied, "No. He's working."
"On your birthday?" Now he did sound really surprised.
"I don't celebrate it." She told him in a defensive tone.
"Still, he should at least be home with you." He just couldn't let it go, she thought.
"I didn't tell him." So, there, she'd finally said it, with that she picked up the fallen daisy from the floor and put it back into the vase.
"Didn't tell him what?"
He sometimes really was infuriating.
"That it's my birthday."
"You didn't tell me either."
She didn't know what to say to that, but thankfully she was saved by a knock on the door.
"There's someone at my door, I'll be right back."
She put the phone down and hurried to the door. When she looked through the peephole all she saw was the label of an expensive red wine. She quickly opened the door and there he stood, with his cell phone trapped between his left ear and his shoulder, holding up a bottle of wine with one hand and a six pack of beer with his other hand.
"Nobody should celebrate their birthday alone, McNally," he said while a tiny smile played around his lips. He shoved the bottle into her hand and pushed her door open wider to let himself in.
"I told you, I am not celebrating it!" she tried to tell him while she closed the door behind him.
"Yeah, whatever!" he told her and went to search for a bottle opener in her kitchen.
"Can I help you with anything?" she asked him, but he just made a dismissive gesture with his hands. "You go sit down, I can manage on my own. You are the birthday girl after all."
Andy let out a deep sigh as a sign of resignation and sat down on the couch. She picked up the phone that she had left there.
"I guess I can hang up now!" she shouted over to Sam, who was still rummaging around in her kitchen drawers. He resurfaced from whatever he was doing and gave her the typical Swarek smile that always transformed her knees into a wobbly mess and filled her stomach with tiny little butterflies.
A little while later he entered her living room with a glass of wine for her, a bottle of beer for him and a lighter.
"Scoot over, McNally!" he ordered and took a seat right next to her. "Time to make a wish!" With that he lit the candle on the cup cake.
Sam gave her an expectant look.
In all the years since her 12th birthday she had always lit a candle like he had just done, but she had always let it burn down until the flame went out by itself. She wouldn't do that today because even though she had an exciting job and a wonderful boyfriend, she knew that something was missing, something essential.
She also knew that if she didn't do something now, she would always regret wishing for something more but know that she had been too much of a coward to finally do the right thing. She knew that she needed to finally admit her true feelings to herself and that the perfect guy was the perfectly wrong guy for her. Meanwhile the bad boy who was sitting next to her, who might not be perfect, but might just be the perfectly right kind of wrong guy for her.
She wouldn't want him to be perfect anyway, she loved him just the way he was.
That's why she closed her eyes and for the first time in sixteen years blew the candle out and made a wish. She turned to Sam, "I need the keys to your truck."
"What?" he asked as realization dawned on his face. For a moment hurt clouded his eyes but he gave her the keys anyway. "I guess I'll let myself out then," he said unable to keep the faint sound of disappointment out of his voice.
She took the keys and leaned over to gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. "Don't you dare go anywhere until I get back."
With that she ran out of her apartment leaving a very puzzled and speechless Sam Swarek behind.
When she was finally standing in front of Luke's office door she didn't hesitate. She knocked, entered and did what she should have done a long time ago. She told him that she loved him but not with all her heart and not as much as he deserved.
She told him that he was the perfect boyfriend, just not perfect for her.
She explained that today was her birthday, that she hadn't celebrated it in 16 years and in all that time she had never made a wish, but that had changed tonight. When he asked her what she had wished for she simply said, "I wished for something more."
He gave her a puzzled look, but she just shrugged her shoulders.
They shared one final embrace and parted without a scene because even if they hadn't discussed it, Luke must have known for a while that things between them weren't working out, especially since she had decided not to move in with him, saying she had thought the time hadn't been right.
When Andy arrived home she was nervous and afraid that Sam might have left. She was happy to find him still there sitting on her couch where she left him. He was leaning back staring at the ceiling but when he heard her approaching, he sat up and turned around.
"Hey," he said with a tiny smile on his face.
"Hey," she replied and sat down next to him.
"You okay?"
She nodded. "Better than okay, actually." She realized she wasn't just saying it, for the first time in months she actually felt more than okay, she felt happy, relieved and free.
And she was also utterly and totally in love with Sam Swarek and today she had finally found the courage to admit that to herself.
She couldn't wait any longer so she did the only thing that after all these months of denial seemed right.
She threw herself at him and started to kiss him passionately.
He didn't respond at first because she definitely had caught him by surprise, but once her hands were finding their way to his neck to pull him even closer, he finally gave in and began to part her lips with the tip of his tongue to demand admittance. They savored each others mouths until they needed to pause to catch their breaths.
"If I had known that you'd be that thankful for my truck, I'd have lent it to you sooner!" he joked.
He suddenly got serious, "So I guess you've paid a visit to Callaghan?"
Andy nodded and she knew that he knew what that meant.
"Should I be afraid of the next retraining session now?" he asked with one raised eyebrow.
She laughed, "Yes, you should be afraid…of me!"
"You wish!" He grinned and took one of her hands into his and whispered, "McNally." Like the way he did on that evening outside the Black Penny, after they had saved Emily from Anton Hill.
This time she didn't back down.
This time she gave into the kiss and everything else that he was offering her.
Andy McNally surely would never forget her 28th birthday, the day when Sam Swarek had shown her that making wishes was worth it and when she as a result had gotten all that she had wished for and so much more.
The End.
Comments are love! :-)
