Disclaimer: I don't own the Darren Shan saga. If I did then I wouldn't be here.


Leah's life's a mess and it all began with her best friend's, Darren Shan's, death. It was when Steve's second chance came. It was when the most fatal mistake of her life happened.


Book 1:

CIRQUE DU FREAK:

NIGHT'S SLAVE:


Darren Shan.

Dead.

Dead.

It was odd hearing that word. Usually it had no effect on me. Maybe it brought on some sadness to hear of it but when I had heard my mother saying what she had heard on the phone it was like something heavy had hit me from the side, like some truck slamming into me at full force.

Apparently the neighbours had found him at the side of the house, just lying there. I had endlessly asked my mom questions even though I knew that she wouldn't be able to tell me anything. That hadn't stopped me from throwing a tantrum about her not telling me things though.

A friend dying made you do stupid things, I thought. I hadn't really even apologized but I tried to put my mind at ease by pretending that my mom would probably forgive me anyway. I would always hope that she'd do that, at least.

But who I was the most mad at was Darren. Be it not on purpose or may it be on purpose - so far that had not been determined - but the thought of him leaving so quickly didn't sit so well with me.

It seemed overrated - death. The people who died left the other people - the ones who were still alive - behind to grieve over them.

"Honey, things like this happen. It's part of life. It's Nature, and this is simply how it works," was what my father had said. "Shame, of course, that a boy like Darren, so young and full of life, had to go." Dad had always admired Darren - he supposed that he was a bit like him when he was younger.

I don't know if that was supposed to have actually cheered me up somewhat but I had smiled anyway to show Dad that I was listening and that I was grateful, even if, truthfully, I wasn't on the inside. I didn't listen to many other people when they rattled off things like that to me - I didn't believe that they understood anything.

Life, unfortunately, after Darren's death had to carry on. And that meant the most awful thing in life had to come forth and ruin everything.

School.

That place had been somewhat bearable when Darren had been around, along with some of our other friends. We would pass notes in class and sometimes makes wild faces when the teacher's back was turned to us. A lot of times I would fall asleep, or laugh at one of the others falling asleep and getting caught.

Other times we would sit and laugh at our friend Steve Leopard. Of course, his real name wasn't as fun or wild sounding, it was just plain Leonard, but he could be so fun and wild himself that he had been officially dubbed as Leopard. Sometimes, he wasn't so much fun and more wild and scary. Like when he threw tantrums. But Darren and I hadn't minded unless we were what happened to cause the tantrums and lashes of rage. That was how we rolled and were happy with it. Darren knew how to handle Steve better than I did - they were best friends and had met when they were little kids.

Darren had always been a fun guy to hang out with but hung back on the rule breaking stuff. Of course, Steve or I had managed on several accounts to bring him along on any rule breaking business but mostly his hands were clean of it.

The only problem now was that ever since Steve had gotten out of the hospital from getting bitten by some unknown thing the group had been slightly broken up. At first I thought that it had been about something stupid that the whole group had recently battled each other for - something about getting a ticket for a lame circus - and that they were now mad at each other because only two had been able to go out of the four of the guys. Then, afterwards, it was clear that Darren and Steve had had a fight. At first Darren ignored hanging out with Steve, until after Steve got sent to hospital and then came out. Then Steve ignored Darren as if he had the plague. I stuck by Darren - I knew him far better than I had ever known Steve.

I hadn't bothered to really check in with either of them though after they split up. Steve usually snarled at me for being all girly about something stupid and pointless and would push me away - acting even more less of a mate than he already did - and Darren would just lie and say everything was fine, even if it was always clear that he was lying.

I suppose that it hadn't been anything truly serious as Steve still managed to show up to Darren's funeral. I had mainly stuck around Darren's sister, Annie, but I'd still seen him, standing alone in a corner, away from everyone else. I never approached him, he'd had his serious face on and wasn't one to mess with. Everyone seemed to think that.

I still could hang out with Tommy Jones or Alan Morris but they weren't the same as Darren. They were far better than Steve, but I didn't really know what to do about it. For the time being hanging out by myself seemed just fine. I had never particularly noticed my lack of best friends.

I walked down the silent hallways of school. The funeral had only been a few days ago so sorrow still filled everyone at having lost a great classmate and best friend. Some people hadn't shown up, either because they didn't want to go to class because of work or they were actually grieving, but some still showed up. Though they didn't look great. A few girls that I passed had tears trickling down their cheeks and a few were letting sobs escape from their mouths.

Some stood at their lockers or were talking with friends and trying not to cry. I had passed a teacher or two who had also tried to keep their tears in. Darren had affected everyone somehow.

I had gotten up that morning and been utterly horrified to find that I'd have to go to school today. That meant there was an increase that I might cry in public. And crying in front of anyone tended to be embarrassing for me.

When I'd gotten in, having been dropped off by my dad, I found that Steve had also come in - his bike had been parked in the front of the school, at the bike rack.

He'd been closest to Darren, since, after all, he was a boy just like Darren. They could talk about the things that Darren and I would never have been able to discuss. And apparently boys didn't discuss as much things as girls tended to. Anything over emotional was out of the question.

But now since Darren died Steve and me have grown further apart. It was like now we were too busy to spare a few minutes to see or talk to each other. Not that I was really complaining. I felt like putting the blame on just about anyone recently, and getting into a petty fight with Steve was not on my agenda.

I turned a corner in the brightly coloured corridor and saw Steve with Alan, Tommy and a load of other guys from our year. He was laughing with them and that was the only sound filling the corridor. Everyone around had gloomy expressions and looked like they were envious of Steve for being able to laugh at a time like this.

The idea of Steve - or anyone- laughing so freely made me tighten my fists and grind my teeth. What on Earth could have been so funny anyway?

I hated being simply over emotional but what I hated far more were people who had no consideration for any situations or other people. Steve had always cared more about himself than anyone else, even Darren.

Laughter rose from the rest of the boys, the ones that I wasn't that familiar with. Alan looked around edgily and spotted me. For a minute it felt like he would do the usual, wildly wave me over, and then fill me in on the joke. Except he didn't wave me over. He just stared and then tugged on the sleeve of Steve's long-sleeved shirt to get his attention. It took a while for that to happen.

I gawked as Steve tore his arm out of Alan's reach and snarled at him like some savage animal. Alan, looking braver than he normally would have, pointed my way. I quickly looked away and stopped at my locker, leaning into it so that my back was to Steve and the boys.

I wasn't particularly well known for being able to handle my anger, and sometimes I was taunted about going to anger management classes, but for me to do my best in ignoring this, I was proud of myself. Or, was, later on when I thought back to it. Quite proud, up until the moment that Steve let out a particularly nasty laugh that boomed through the whole corridor.

I turned around quickly and gave him my best glare, not that he exactly caught it. He was too busy holding onto his stomach from laughing so hard, his eyes closed.

I clenched my hands into fists and let my bag slide down my back and arms and onto the floor, falling with a dull thud. I put one foot in front of the other and marched over to the group of boys. I proceeded to tap Steve - none too gently - on his shoulder but I never got a response.

What made me sneer nastily was when another boy opened his mouth and said "Yeah, Shan wasn't the brightest crayon in the box."

My eyes narrowed in anger at the boy. I tapped him on the shoulder again but he shooed me away, as if I were a dog.

So, with that I did what I always did best, I started a fight.

Looking back on it I could have easily said that it wasn't a smart move on my behalf and it also got me no where, other than in a seat in the nurse's office. But I knew that I would never have felt any better if I had just let the boys carry on laughing at, what - or who - apparently was Darren.

And for a girl who sure got into a lot of fights, I wasn't exactly too good at them. I was great if I had something on me like a baseball bat or bag, but hand to hand combat just sucked for me. But that didn't really stop me.

I took a few steps back and then lunged at Steve just as he began laughing again. My fists had been at the ready and straight away came into contact with one of the guys jaw. I meant to go straight for Steve since he laughed the loudest of them all but I never had good aim in anything so I hit the guy next to him.

The guy roared from the pain and instantly brought his clenched hand up and attempted at hitting me back. A crowd quickly gathered around us and started cheering us on. A lot of the kids were chanting my name because, I suppose, they heard the creeps, who called themselves Darren's 'best friends', making a joke about their dead friend.

The guy, who's name was Ben, pushed me away from him and spat out blood. "What the heck's your problem?"

"My problem is that you're making jokes about my dead best friend!" And with that I lunged at him again. I know that my main target was Steve but when I started with one person I wouldn't stop until I'm finished with them.

"Lee-yah! Lee-yah! Lee-yah!" Everyone was chanting my name now. I suppose it was worth watching a girl fight with a guy, attempting to beat his ass.

"Get off me, you freak!" Ben yelled as I jumped on his back and pulled his hair. As Ben kept turning in circles in an attempt to get me off I saw Alan run off down the corridor. Figures the guy would lose his nerve. Ben noticed that I wasn't pulling his hair as hard as before, that I had lost my concentration, and tugged at my left arm which was wrapped around his neck. I fell off his back and right onto my butt on the hard linoleum floor. And it also gave the boy a minute to recollect himself.

Just as I was about to jump up and get back onto his back someone pulled me back. I twisted out of their grip and stumbled around to look at them. It was Steve wearing what I could only call a serious expression. For a minute I felt scared - what had I gotten myself into? - thinking that he'd lose it and go monkey crazy on my butt. But I recollected what was left of my courage and swung at him with my right hand.

He didn't expect me to throw a punch at him so he just barely managed to lean back awkwardly to let it miss his face. I lost my footing and stumbled right into him, bringing us down, one struggling to get up and one struggling to get their fists on the others jaw or nose.

"What are you doing?" Steve yelled at me as I tried scratching his face.

"I, unlike you, respect my best friend and would love it if you stopped making jokes about him!"

I knew that I wasn't as strong as Steve was and that he'd soon have the upper hand in the fight. And after a few minutes he got out of our entangled limbs and pulled my arms behind my back. It hurt struggling so I gave up - for the time being anyway.

Steve seemed to loosen up his hold on my wrists when he saw that I wasn't fighting against his hold, and when the time was right I pulled them away from his, turned around and swung my fist as hard as I could at his face.

This time it connected with his nose. My adrenaline ran out when I heard his scream echo through the hall louder than the kids chanting. When he looked at me I could see a bump already forming on the bridge of his delicate nose.

His eyes were filled with rage. He quickly composed himself and brought up his fists. Throughout the fight I had hoped that none of the boys would hit me back. Maybe shove but not actually hit.

My vision blurred as Steve's fist rushed towards my face. It hit me right in the jaw and made me stumble back a couple of steps and fall again onto my bottom. I didn't get to stand up because that's when Kevin, another one of the boys from the group, jumped over to me and put his foot on my chest to stop me from getting up, causing me to hit my head against a locker. I screamed as the pain infiltrated my head, unable to escape it. I shoved Kevin off of me and clutched at my head, as if cradling it awkwardly would ease the pain.

Ben, thinking that I faked injury, pushed Kevin out of the way and stood over me, prepared for me to assault him. I hissed out a breath of pain and slid on to my side while trying to escape the pain in my head and jaw.

I started to feel dizzy and nauseated before long. I groaned and then yelped again as I felt a jab at my head. Then I felt two firm hands lifting me up. The person was attempting to keep me from falling but weren't having much luck. I fell again, my butt in serious pain as well, and groaned a second time. I was picked up again but I remained in the air. There was some pressure on my stomach and my head hung upside down. Whoever was holding me up had swung me over their shoulder.

A few silent tears spilled from my eyes and I heard Kevin laughing nasally. "Look! The baby's crying!"

I couldn't take it, so I opened my eyes wider to get a better look at my surroundings and to spot where Kevin was. It wasn't a great view because whoever was holding me up had their back obscuring half my sight. My eyes immediately fell on Kevin's hunched over form. My anger prickled in my stomach.

"You better watch that mouth of yours, you creep!" I yelled, my voice raspy and scrappy.

Kevin was about to yell a remark back when Mrs. Fleming, the headmistress, stormed around the corner and made her way through the thick crowd.

"What is the meaning of this?" Her gaze snapped to Ben, whose mouth was freely bleeding, and who looked scared out of his pants. "I want an answer!" Mrs. Flemings voice cut off all sounds in the corridor.

Kevin, wanting to give me in so that I'd get in serious trouble, pointed at me, "She did it, miss! Carell started it! She just jumped at us and started swinging her fists!"

No one seemed surprised that Kevin happened to put the whole blame on me. Even if he thought he was super manly and the best, he never owned up for anything. And he certainly wasn't going to start doing so now, after a fight had just ensued that he could get in serious trouble for.

Mrs. Fleming turned sharply to look at me with the beady eyes. "Well, then Miss. Carell. Off to my office with you." Her neck was going red, a sign warning you that she was getting really mad. Everyone knew that after four years of her.

From her left side a short girl stepped away from the crowd, towards Mrs. Fleming and cleared her throat to get the headmistresses attention, "Um, I'm sorry but Leah didn't intend to do it. She just heard them guys laughing about ...Darren Shan." Her voice may have been soft and small but it was definitely heard thoroughly because it was so quiet in the hallway.

Mrs. Fleming's eyes turned on her, "And are you just trying to stand up for her? But I've found a way to not let anyone get away with murder here. Miss Carell, and you boys are coming to my office while the rest will go to the main office to call their parents to tell them they'll be late coming home because they have detention!" She pointed at me then at the gang of boys with either a black eye, broken nose or just a bruised face.

"But miss!" rang out throughout the corridor. I could see some students slipping away, trying not to get noticed as they made their escapes.

"Then the school itself will inform your parents. I will have no tolerance for people who watch fights for amusement, it makes them just as bad as the people fighting! Now off to class with all of you!" She barked the last sentence. "Mr. Dalton, please assist Miss Carrel to my office."

I looked up at the person holding me. Mr Dalton was a really nice teacher when you were on his good side, but things escalated very easily into doom if you weren't in his good book. I smiled my thanks for his help, but I wasn't sure if he could actually see my face at all. I wasn't sure that I would have been able to walk on my own.

Mrs. Fleming turned around and walked briskly towards her office around the corner and down the hall. Mr Dalton followed suit, not slowing down like I would have as we got closer to the office because he was in no fear of what would happen since it wasn't happening to him.

I cringed at the mere thought of getting a detention. I knew that if others got a detention for just watching then I'd get something much worse.