A/N: Written for Kink Bingo, 'fisting', so consider this your warning. Set in a magical land where Ryan didn't die and he and Becker both work at the ARC.
Subsumed
They were having sex when Ryan first got the idea. He got a lot of good ideas during sex. (Yes, actual good ideas, not ideas that only seemed good while he was on an endorphin-high. Just ask Becker.) His hands were squeezing Becker's hips and he was watching his cock slide in and out of Becker's arse when it occurred to him. "You like it when I fuck you, don't you, Becker?"
"Fuck, Ryan, what kind of a question is that?"
Even though Ryan couldn't see Becker's face, he could picture his expression perfectly. "You like having me inside you?"
"Jesus fucking Christ, yes!"
"You like when I fuck you with my fingers?"
Becker just growled, trying to force the tempo.
"Then you'd like it if I fucked you with my whole fist, stretching you, filling you?"
Becker made a low hissing sound, coming over the sheets. Ryan grinned to himself and snapped his hips a few more times before emptying into Becker's arse. He leaned forward over Becker's back, kissing his sweaty skin. "I'll take that as a yes."
They didn't really talk about it, after, but Ryan noticed that Becker seemed to have developed a new fascination with Ryan's hands. He'd catch him staring a lot, with this considering look in his eyes, and Ryan had to admit it was more than a little arousing imagining what he was thinking.
Finally Ryan dropped down into a chair next to him and said straight out, "It'll fit, you know."
Becker blinked at him. "What?"
"My hand. It'll fit. That's what you're wondering, isn't it?"
Becker looked away again, his nose turned up a little. "Maybe."
"I know you think you're so subtle and clever but you're really not," Ryan said with a laugh.
"I've definitely never thought that I'm subtle," Becker said, mouth quirking in a smile. He turned back to Ryan, a question in his eyes. "But, hey. Since you mentioned it. Your hands are kind of big, actually."
If Becker had been anyone else Ryan might have thought he was nervous, nervous and maybe a bit worried. "I've done it before, once. Well, three times. With the same bloke. The first couple of times we didn't quite make it. But when we did… If he'd stayed around longer I know we would've done it again."
"So your giant hand up his arse wasn't the deal-breaker?" Becker asked, sounding snippy.
Ryan stared at his knees. "No, it was more the fact that I kept going off on classified missions that made him leave me."
Becker went quiet. Then he said, shame-faced, "I'm sorry, Tom. That was childish. If he left you then he was a sodding idiot, but honestly I'd really like to thank him."
Ryan smiled a little to show he wasn't upset. He reckoned that everything had turned out the way it should, in the end. Becker was a smug, cocky bastard but he was Ryan's smug, cocky bastard. "I only told you that because I thought it might help. I've done it before, it went fine. Very enjoyable for both parties."
"Right."
"Becks, mate, I'm not going to force you but I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't think you'd enjoy it."
"You'd enjoy it."
"Well, of course I would, seeing you stretched out and gorgeous, my hand in your bum, begging me for it. You know how pretty you are when you beg." Ryan grinned at him but Becker was looking haughty.
"I don't beg."
"Of course you don't. But, yeah, I'd love it, but if you don't want to I won't mention it again. I don't want you to do something because you think you have to do it for me."
Becker was silent for a while and then he said softly, "I want to try it."
Ryan squeezed his thigh. "Okay."
Saturday night Becker disappeared while Ryan was watching TV. He didn't think anything of it until Becker reappeared some time later, standing in front of the sofa.
"Um, I thought… I thought we could try it tonight. What we've been talking about?" Becker held a bag out, looking sheepish and uncomfortable. "I went shopping earlier, got some things. I did some research."
Ryan realised that what he was thinking at the moment was, You are so adorable, and cringed inwardly. Jesus. He vowed to never think that again, ever. "Did you-"
"I'm clean," Becker blurted out, his ears turning red. "I got, um, I got this kit."
This was so strange. Becker was embarrassed. He never got embarrassed and he never had any trouble talking about sex but now he was blushing and seemingly unable to say either 'fisting' or 'enema'. Ryan fought against a return of his earlier thought. "So you bought, what? The kit and…"
"Lube. So much lube. The kid at the checkout counter couldn't stop smirking at me."
"I'll bet."
"I stole some gloves from Ditzy, too. I wasn't sure whether you'd want them or not, I read some different things, but, your choice, I suppose."
"Personally I think they cause drag but I'll use one if you'd rather I do. It's a bit safer with gloves, less chance of infection."
"No," Becker said immediately. "I'd rather feel your skin."
Ryan swallowed. "No glove, then." He stood and walked to Becker, looping his arms around Becker's waist. "You want to do it now?"
Becker glanced away, body going rigid in Ryan's arms. "Sure. Yes, let's just do it."
"Becker. Becks, hey," Ryan said, suddenly concerned. "If you really don't want-"
"I want it," Becker insisted, his eyes fierce and begging Ryan not to push it.
So Ryan didn't. He'd learned a thing or two about Becker since they'd first got together and he knew that there were few things Becker hated more than anyone thinking he couldn't do something, or thinking he was in any way scared or apprehensive.
Instead Ryan pressed soft kisses to Becker's mouth, feeling the bag in Becker's hand knock against the backs of his legs. He traced his tongue over Becker's lips and coaxed his mouth open, kissing him until he could feel Becker relax again.
He pulled back and nodded his head in the direction of the bedroom. "Come on." Ryan kept his hand on Becker's back while they walked, thinking the contact would probably help. Once they had reached the bedroom he said, "Give me a minute, okay?"
Ryan went into the bathroom and got out a towel and the nail clippers. His nails were pretty short as is but he still very carefully trimmed and filed them, making sure there weren't any rough edges. Then he washed his hands, feeling like a surgeon scrubbing down.
When he came back into the bedroom, he paused for a second, mouth going dry. Becker had lost all of his clothes and was lying sprawled on the bed, no doubt trying to look casual and not at all anxious. He looked gorgeous and completely shaggable but to Ryan's eyes, not entirely carefree. He was holding his shoulders in too tight a line, his lips pressed a bit thinly.
But Becker clearly wanted Ryan to think he wasn't nervous, so Ryan didn't break the illusion. "Here," he said, gesturing to Becker to shift a little. He spread the towel out, saying, "It gets pretty messy."
Becker nodded. "I assumed. Also, it said so on the internet."
Ryan smiled, imagining Becker sitting in front of the computer and intently reading all about it. Becker never did anything by halves.
After the towel had been laid out to his satisfaction, Ryan moved back and started to remove his own clothes, encouraged by the heat in Becker's gaze as he watched. They were going to be fine. This was going to be amazing.
He clambered onto the bed until he was straddling Becker and captured his mouth in another kiss. The more relaxed he was the easier this would be, and Ryan knew nothing would work better than some snogging and some touching.
Judging by the soft sounds Becker was making, it was working. He was holding Ryan close, hands running up and down Ryan's back and over his arse, and he kept arching his hips up. Ryan sucked a line of kisses down Becker's throat, nibbling lightly, and drew one flat nipple into his mouth.
Becker keened quietly and spread his legs. "Ryan, shouldn't you… Aren't you going to…"
Ryan stroked his hand down Becker's side. "In a minute. We don't have to rush." And he did continue to take his time, teasing Becker until he was trembling and pushing at Ryan's head, trying to direct him where he wanted. Ryan licked the underside of Becker's cock and behind his balls, laving gently at Becker's hole, and then he moved back.
"What…" Becker glared at him. "You bastard, now you're stopping?"
"You can't come yet, don't want you to be too sensitive," Ryan said cheerfully, enjoying how Becker looked halfway between blissed-out and furious. "This'll be easier if you're on your hands and knees."
Becker grumbled but turned over, presenting Ryan with the lovely sight of his arse.
Ryan took the time to gently work some lube inside of him, which served the dual purpose of getting Becker both ready and a small bit more relaxed. Then he coated his fingers and his hand in the stuff, already managing to drip all over the towel. This was going to be such a mess, but luckily Ryan wasn't terribly concerned about it. Sheets could be washed.
"I'm going to start now," he told Becker, to which Becker only mumbled something that sounded like, Finally.
At first it wasn't anything different than what they'd done so many times before, the whole one finger, two fingers routine. Getting to three fingers was easy. It was the fourth that started to make things interesting. Ryan kept talking, murmuring encouragement, and he slipped his finger in without too much fuss, Becker swearing softly but he still wasn't really tensing.
Ryan didn't try to go in too far, just gently moved his hand in and out, until Becker said, "Jesus Christ, do you really have to go this glacially slow?"
Ryan laughed. "Trust me, Becks, you don't want me going any faster."
Becker huffed. "Whatever. How many fingers is that? Feels really… Well, feels like a lot."
"Four. And…" Ryan pushed his hand in to his knuckles while Becker cursed and dropped to his forearms. "I'm in to my knuckles, love. You're doing wonderfully, you look gorgeous. Fuck, you look really gorgeous."
"Not a girl," Becker mumbled, but he whimpered at the movement of Ryan's hand and pushed his arse back.
They stayed like that for a little while, letting Becker get used to it, until Ryan asked, "What do you think? Want to try the thumb?"
"Go for it."
So Ryan slipped his hand back out nearly all the way so he could tuck his thumb in. He stroked his other hand over Becker's spine, feeling the way his muscles had started to tense in anticipation. "Hils, baby, just relax. You trust me, don't you?"
"I trust you." Becker was nearly inaudible.
"I promise you this is going to feel so good. You're going to feel so good, baby." Ryan glided his hand over Becker's skin to grip his cock, which had softened some. He flicked his fingers over the head, used the slickness on his hand to tease him. "You just lie there and let me do the work, yeah? Easy."
Becker snorted but he didn't feel quite so tightly wound. "Maybe you can stop calling me 'baby', arsehole."
Ryan leaned forward to kiss the dip of Becker's spine. "Don't lie, I know you love it." That was as good a time as any to resume, while Becker was distracted, so Ryan worked his hand back in, but only partway.
"Shit, that's full," Becker breathed.
"Is it too much?"
"No, it's just… Bugger, it's really fucking full. Feels kind of weird."
"Bad weird or good weird?"
Becker thought about it for a moment. "Good weird, I think. Just… just keep going slowly, will you? That glacial thing you were doing, you can do that."
Ryan chuckled. "Okay, love." He did move so slowly, inserting his hand by millimetres, keeping up a constant low stream of chatter and using his opposite hand to fondle Becker. He was completely fascinated by the sight of his hand disappearing into Becker's arse, the way Becker opened up and clenched around him. He felt achingly hard himself, even though Becker had been getting all of the attention.
"Becks," he said quietly. "Becks, you have no idea how incredible you look. You're doing brilliantly, you look beautiful. I'm in almost to my knuckles and I think I could come just watching you."
"Oh, God, Ryan," Becker said, something between a whimper and a moan. "Tom. Tom, please."
"Please what?"
"Just… just, please," Becker said desperately, the backward movement of his hips helping Ryan slide his hand in farther. "I'm going to come."
"Come for me then, beautiful," Ryan encouraged, his fingers curling inside.
When Becker groaned in release, his hips rocking back, Ryan's hand up his bum, Ryan thought he'd never seen anything sexier in his life. He barely needed to put a hand on himself before he was coming, dripping onto the towel and his breath coming in gasps.
"Fucking hell," he said, slipping his hand out and flexing his fingers.
Becker had basically face-planted into the mattress, lying in a boneless sprawl. He whimpered at the removal of Ryan's hand.
Ryan wiped his hand off as best he could and lay so he was facing Becker, curving an arm over his waist. "All right?"
Becker just grunted, his eyes closed.
"If you don't move so I can clean you up, you're going to be sticking to everything. I don't fancy hearing you complain." To be honest, Ryan couldn't believe Becker hadn't already started complaining, given that he had to be lying right in the wet spot. Ryan felt a twinge of pride at having managed to reduce Becker to this.
"In a minute," Becker mumbled, opening one eye to peer at Ryan. "Too tired."
"Good tired?"
Becker's other eye opened. He appeared to be attempting to glare, but he looked too blissfully sated for it to work even a little. "What do you think?"
Ryan chuckled. "I have to admit I wasn't expecting it to go quite this smoothly. A lot of men can't take it in so far the first time."
"Suppose I'm just used to having big things stuck up my arse."
"So my giant hand wasn't a deal-breaker?"
Becker smiled lazily. "No. But maybe next time I can do you."
Ryan pressed a kiss to Becker's forehead. "We'll see."
The lazy smile on Becker's face morphed into something else, coy and flirtatious. "You probably wouldn't be so surprised at our success if you knew that I might have been using some... toys this week. While you were otherwise occupied."
Ryan stared, feeling his jaw slacken, before indignation surged. "And you didn't let me watch?"
That settled it. Next time, Becker definitely wouldn't be doing Ryan.
End
