I know this is really really REALLY late, and I'm so so sorry, but I thought I should upload something to prove I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and that I am still writing when I get the time (which is practically never at the moment :( boo!). And this one was the nearest to finishing, so it won. I still don't like the end tho...
Sorry it's long! And if anyone reading this has read/is reading my other fics, I promise that KIYS will be updated as soon as possible! And then Alpha to Omega (already know that H is, and most of it is written), and finally, Trick or Treat which is now over three months over due. And then finally, eventually, I do have a Secrets in the Lab fic that I'm working on too :) and a few one shots. In between a million courseworks and a dissertation :(
So yeah, I'm really sorry, I don't think I actually like this one but I had to get back into writing, and with the kind of year I'm having so far, I wish I could start it all over again. But this was as close as I can get I suppose :p I do promise to try and update my other fics as soon as possible :D
xXx
Resolutions
You watch him as he leans over a microscope, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his defined muscles visible under the short sleeves of his shirt. He's been there for nearly an hour now, flicking through a set of slides, scribbling notes down every few minutes before drawing his attention back to the lens.
It's times like these when you realise just how dedicated to his work he really is. He's always dedicated of course, he's rather brilliant that way, but watching him concentrate for more than ten minutes reminds you that he's not always childish and irresponsible. That he can become just as wrapped up in a case as you, exhausting every possibility until he finds the answer. And it's in these moments that you promise yourself that you'll always be there to make sure he never gets too involved in a case, just like he has done for you on so many occasions.
It's been a quiet day despite it being a Saturday, and so you have both taken the time to catch up on paperwork, analyse samples you found from recent post mortems, and generally look busy for whenever Leo walks through the door. You hate it when it's quiet, even though you always hate yourself even more for thinking it. It's when it's this quiet that you find yourself wishing for an ancient bone find, something that will keep you busy without having to deal with distraught relatives.
And yet you don't know if this makes you any worse.
You doubt it'll stay quiet tonight. It's always the same at this time of year unfortunately. A mixture of crowded nightclubs and enough alcohol in the blood system to last a lifetime often results in a catastrophe of some sort. Traffic accidents, drunken fights, alcohol poisoning… the list goes on.
On more than one occasion you've listened to Big Ben's chimes from the cutting room, played through a crackly TV screen instead of listening to them properly. You could probably hear the real thing if you could open a window in the cutting room, or stop what you were doing for just a few minutes. Well, maybe not. You're probably too far away to hear the real thing. But you never seemed to be able to stop once you'd got started. You always felt guilty somehow. The world doesn't stop with a new year after all.
The last second of one year is exactly the same as the first second of a new one.
"You're watching me," he speaks unexpectedly and without moving his position from the microscope, snapping you out a daydream you didn't even know you'd entered.
"So?" was that really the best you could come up with? There was no denying it, of course you were watching him, even though you had thought it had been subtly. Obviously not.
"Like what you see?"
"Shut up Harry," you really are losing your touch if you can't even think of a decent comeback. And yet that's the problem. It's like when you watch him for too long, when you have nothing to focus on apart from Harry, everything else leaves your mind and you end up speechless. "You watch me all the time."
"Your point being," he turns his head now to smirk at you and you feel your own lips mimic his actions.
You grin, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms.
"Well, like what you see?"
"Very much so," he nods casually, before turning straight back to the microscope and peering through the lens again, the smile still on his lips.
You stare at him again, a million thoughts running through your head, some of which you're too afraid to dwell on for any longer than a second.
You wish you could stop doing this, stop watching him, stop thinking about him every minute of every day, and yet you can't. You can't get him out your head, no matter what you try. It's always been like this really, for the last seven years at least. It'll be going on eight now, the more you think about it. Needless to say you've had your ups and downs. Maybe that's an understatement.
"Right you two, nearly home time," Leo seems to appear out of nowhere, leaning against the side of the spare desk opposite Harry and your own. "You two are coming round to mine tonight, aren't you? I told Janet you were."
"Yeah, of course," Harry smiles, looking at you as if expecting an answer and then answering for you instead. "We both are."
"I've just got a-" you begin, but Leo cuts in, a frown on his face.
"No Nikki. You've finished for the day. We've had no new cases, there's no urgent paperwork, everything can wait until you're back. You need a break."
You know he's right, Leo is always bloody right. And as much as it makes you sound like a pathetic loner, you were hoping you could spend New Year's Eve on your own again, lost in a post mortem, Big Ben muted in the background reminding you that a new year has started. A new year that will ultimately bring with it just as much pain and heartache as every other one since… well, it's hard to pin point when your life began to go so downhill.
You remember when you were younger, when you lived in South Africa, when you had a mother and father who you believed would always be there to keep you safe. You remember dreaming that by the time you were thirty, you'd have a husband who loved you just as much as your father loved your mother, you'd have children, and a job, and live in a little cottage in the countryside… you got the job bit. But what did you lose on the way? What did you sacrifice for your job? You know that your work has been the reason that so many relationships have failed in the past, and yet there's part of you that thinks that you use your job as an excuse. An excuse for being alone, for being so hot headed and stubborn. For being not quite good enough for…
"So, seven o'clock, at mine. Yeah?" You nod in response to Leo's question without really listening, and quickly busy yourself with your report again.
You're aware of Leo and Harry talking in the background, of them laughing and throwing mock insults at each other about how drunk they get at parties, and yet you make sure you stay out of the conversation. You can't wait to see the back of this year, and at the same time, you're terrified for it to end.
This year has been hellish. Another understatement. This year has been one of the worst you can remember, and you've had your fair share of bad years, but you've somehow managed to fit yourself into a routine. You've managed to establish what's ok to mention now, and what's not.
You don't mention Hungary. You don't mention that whole month really. Or Anna, or how you felt, or the monument. You don't even mention the months that followed. The difficult months full of sleepless nights and heated arguments. You argued a lot post-Hungary. You and Harry. About the stupidest things, and as much as you wanted to back down from each one, blaming it on everything that had happened to Harry in Budapest, you wouldn't. Because you still hadn't forgiven him for leaving you, for dying.
You don't think you'll ever truly forgive him for that.
And you know he's alive. You've noticed how you seem to smile every time you see him, as if you're reminding yourself that he's still there. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.
Everything has its place now. Everything is settled again, and you can have a normal conversation with Harry like you did before. Well, as normal a conversation as you ever have with him. Things are getting back to how they used to be. Which is what terrifies you.
Because the year is nearly over, and that means that everything changes again. Then what do you do? Do you still ignore those months, act like they never existed, or does it change to the whole year? Do you never mention 2011 ever again? Maybe that would be easiest. But then 2012 brings with it anniversaries, and memories, and more problems to deal with.
It brings with it one year since Anna died. One year since Harry lost the woman he loved and his unborn child. One year since you thought your world had ground to an abrupt stop, only to have it spun round again, knocking so many things out of place.
"Nikki, are you even listening to me any more?"
Your head snaps up at his voice, and you can't hide the smile that graces his lips.
"Do I ever listen to you?" you frown in mock confusion, and he laughs. It's not a forced laugh either, those stopped months ago. He's began to look happy again, although the spark in his eyes still hasn't returned.
"Good point," he nods, before walking over to your desk, taps at your keyboard then switches off your screen.
"I was working on that!" you protest, but he just takes your hand and pulls you to your feet.
"And now you're not."
"You've just lost all my work."
"No I haven't, I saved it all."
"You just hit my keyboard. How is that saving my work, and shutting the computer down?"
He shrugs, turning away from you and dragging you to the cloak room.
"Shortcuts."
Sometimes that guy is far too geeky for his own good.
"It better still be there when I get back," you mutter and hear him chuckle.
Your coat is on before you realise, your bag in your hand and Harry ushering you out the door before you even get a chance to say goodbye to Leo.
"See you soon," Harry shouts back, waving animatedly through the window to Leo's office. "Don't worry, I'll bring Nikki with me. That way she has to go."
He insists on driving you home, dropping you off right at the door and telling you that he'll pick you up at quarter to seven. Which only leaves you half an hour to get ready. It's a good thing Harry's used to waiting for you by now, because there's no way you can get ready in under an hour.
You shower, choose out an outfit and dry your hair, all the while your mind running over every possible scenario for tonight. Its New Year's Eve after all, and there's bound to be far too much alcohol on the go. Which means that Harry will more than likely end up drunk. And this is where the problems start. You're not quite sure how you'd handle a drunkenly emotional Harry tonight, in a crowded room, with no way of calming him down. Maybe staying off the alcohol tonight yourself is the best thing to do. That way you can keep an eye on Harry, just to make sure he's ok. Then again, he's nearly forty and doesn't need you to look after him all the time.
At twenty past seven you manage to leave the house, wearing your new sky scraper heals as Harry is driving you both to Leo's.
"Wow," Harry exclaims as you step in the car. "I think this is the earliest you've ever been late."
"Shut up," you playfully hit him on the arm and he waits for you to fasten your seat belt.
"You look amazing by the way."
"You look pretty hot yourself," you smile back before realising that you just referred to Harry as 'hot' and blush.
The short journey to Leo's is filled with you both teasing each other over how long Harry had been waiting, and how long it takes to get ready, and you feel yourself relax slightly at how casual you can throw an insult back at him now, knowing that he's not going to take it the wrong way.
Leo's waiting for you when you arrive with a glass of wine for you both and you soon realise that there's more people here than you expected. Friends of Janet's, Zak and his girlfriend, a few of the girls from reception and their partners. It seems as if Leo's house is the place to be tonight, and the atmosphere is buzzing. Which will make it even harder to control Harry if he decides to get drunk.
After an hour or so of casual conversations and mingling with the other guests, Janet appears with a bottle of wine in her hand to top up your glasses again, filling Harry's to the brim and frowning you.
"Keep up Nikki," she laughs, nodding at Harry. "You're letting him beat you."
You laugh in reply, hoping to sound light hearted, and yet you're suddenly aware of a stubbly chin over your shoulder, his warm breath on your cheek.
"I'm fine Niks," he whispers. "Never better. You don't have to worry about me, I promise."
How does he know? How does he always know what you're thinking without you telling him?
You turn round to face him, your eyes meeting, and you know he's telling the truth. That you were stupid to ever worry. Things have changed in the last year, and not everything has been good, but he's getting there now. He's getting better, moving on.
"So, any New Year's resolutions this year?" Leo asks, and for the second time today you're torn from a daydream by the appearance of your boss. "Like, Harry, always have my reports in on time. Make sure I buy Leo a cup of coffee on my way to work every morning. Try not to annoy Nikki at every given opportunity?"
Harry scrunches up his nose, before shaking him head.
"Nah, pass," he grins, taking another sip of wine. "We all know I will never have any of my reports in on time, you can get your own bloody coffee, and annoying Nikki is far too fun to give up."
"Fair enough," Leo nods, taking a rather large mouthful from his own full glass. "What about you Nikki?"
You shake your head immediately, rolling your eyes.
"No point, I won't stick to it," you laugh, and Leo seems to take this as a reasonable answer for he nods once, then disappears back into the crowd.
Truth is, you've always stuck to your resolutions in the past. You're stubborn that way. Not that you've made many before. You remember when you were eleven, your resolution was to tidy your bedroom every Sunday for the whole year. And you did, even though everything was just shoved into boxes under your bed.
When you were sixteen, you promised yourself that you would save up every penny you earned from working in a disgusting little chip shop so that you could visit South Africa again on your own. Which you did, only then realising that your budget wouldn't stretch as far as a flight to Spain, never mind South Africa.
And when you were eighteen you promised yourself that you would never, ever ask your dad for anything else ever again. You moved out, went to university, spent as much time away from him as you could, and put all your savings from your chip shop job towards your education so he didn't need to be involved. You didn't want to owe him anything.
Since then there had been others, but none as significant as when you were younger. Half the time you think you only made one because someone told you you should. Like drink only Decaf coffee for a year (needless to say, this was before you were working full time), don't take sugar with your coffee (this one stuck and you've never put it in again) and experiment more with cocktails instead of sticking to a Pina Colada. Now you think about it, they were mostly drinks related, and pretty easy to stick to really.
Maybe it was time to think if a new resolution. Something significant and nothing to do with drinks… Then again, your work load is so big at the moment you doubt you'd really have time to concentrate on changing anything.
You suddenly notice that you're standing alone, and can see Harry talking to a group of girls on the other side of the room. Tall, slim, young girls with dresses barely covering their bum and heels even taller than yours. And Harry's smiling, and so are they, and you can feel your heart beat quicken that little bit faster as one of them leans over and whispers something in his ear. You hate yourself for feeling like this, and yet there's no way to stop it. You always feel the same when you see Harry talking to another woman like he is now, as if he hasn't a care in the world. Why do they get happy-go-lucky Harry, Harry who will laugh at their jokes and flirt all night? You get him too of course, but with it comes angry Harry, Harry who hates the world and everything in it, who blames himself for things he could never change, and who would rather drink himself into oblivion than face up to his fears.
You had a lot of angry Harry this year. More than usual. Harry had been a serious part of your life for going on eight years, but this year was different. This year your life had to revolve around his feelings, and his mood, and his problems. And yet it hadn't bothered you, changing everything for him. Changing your film choices to make sure that they didn't involve intricate love scenes, or gun shots, or anything that could remind him of Budapest. Changing the way you greeted him in the morning, trying to gage how much sleep he had had the night before. Changing your personal plans, your dates, your lunch with the girls from university when Harry rang you, asking you to go round to his, to sit with him and watch another crappy film so he could take his mind off everything.
Why did the girls get to see happy Harry when you knew that for the last year, he was anything but happy?
He was better now though, the more you thought about it. The nightmares seemed to have stopped, he wasn't coming in to work half asleep any more. He had stopped ringing you in the middle of the night, just to hear you talk to him. He didn't drink like he used to, he had started to laugh and throw insults at you in the office again. From the outside, it was as if Hungary had never happened. But it had of course, and you can't help but worry that 2012 will just begin the whole cycle all over again.
You really do have to stop worrying so much. Harry is a grown man, capable of looking after himself. You learnt a long time ago that when things got really bad for him, he would tell you. He would open up, and let you see just how vulnerable he was. Eventually. Maybe you should just let him decide if and when he needed to talk to you again, instead of worrying about him constantly.
That was it.
Your New Years Resolution: Don't let Harry get under your skin. Ever again.
You had to stop thinking about him all the time, had to realise that even though Hungary had changed so much, you were always going to be just best friends with Harry. You had poured your heart out to Leo in the hotel room, finally revealed how you really felt, but it changed nothing. Harry still wasn't interested, and he never would be. You had to get that in to your head, otherwise you were never going to get over him, never going to move on and realise that you were lucky to have what you do with Harry. Lucky to have him as a best friend, someone to rely on no matter what.
New Year, new start. This year you were going to find someone other than Harry to rely on. Someone who could make you smile on the worst days imaginable, and keep you safe when you let your defences down. And so was Harry. You were both going to be happy this year.
"Nikki, you ok?"
You hadn't even notice Janet appear beside you, a bottle of wine in one hand and her own full glass in the other.
"Yeah, I'm fine," you answer brightly, hoping that Janet won't see through you as easy as Leo does. "Just a little tired, it's been a long day."
Understatement. It's been a bloody long year when you think about it.
Janet tilts her head at you, then glances across the room in the direction that you had just been staring, a small smirk playing on her lips.
"Oh," she giggled, before placing her hand on your shoulder, her wine glass tilting to the side slightly. "Why don't you go ask Harry if he needs a top up?"
You don't realise Janet has pushed the wine bottle into your hand until she winks at you and walks away, leaving you standing on your own again.
Placing the bottle on the nearest table, you head for the back door, shivering as the cold wind hits you. You should have picked up your coat.
It's a dark night, the clear sky cloaked in a haze just thick enough to hide the stars.
You can hear the party inside, hear the laughter and the music and the hope starting. The hope that always appears at the prospect of a New Year. The hope that everything that's bad will disappear with the chimes of Big Ben, and everything will be right in the world.
God, you really do need to stop moping and get a grip. You've just spent the whole night trying to convince yourself that this was going to be your year, your year to stop thinking about… no your going to start thinking about him again. May as well start practicing for your New Year's resolution now, if you have any chance of sticking to it. Don't think about him. Don't let him get under your skin. Concentrate on yourself for a change.
You hadn't heard him behind you, had no idea how long he had been there, but you're suddenly aware of someone standing behind you, only a second before he wraps his arms around you from behind and pulls you close to his chest.
"You're freezing," he states, rubbing the goose bumps on your arms gently.
You don't give him a reply, and he doesn't seem to be waiting for one, as he rests his stubbly chin on your shoulder, which seems to be easier than usual with your skyscraper heels on.
"Coffee," he says after a few minutes and you giggle.
"Harry, are you drunk?"
"No," he replies, mocking hurt. "I told you, I'm fine Nikki. I really am. I just meant, maybe I should give up coffee for lent."
"You're supposed to make a resolution. Lent isn't for ages yet."
"Oh yeah," he laughs. "Close enough. I'll give up coffee as my resolution."
"You wouldn't last five minutes," you giggle again and feel his smile on your cheek.
"Yeah, well you wouldn't last two."
"That's why I'm not giving up coffee. Not for my resolution, not for lent. Not ever."
You both stand in silence for what feels like an eternity, staring towards the bottom of the garden and ignoring the party inside.
"It's five minutes until midnight," he whispers eventually, and you turn around to look at him, noticing how his eyes catch the limited light in the garden.
You're doing it again. He's your friend. Your best friend. And it has to stay like that, otherwise everything will become complicated, and messed up, and you'll lose him forever.
"Come on, let's get inside before Leo notices we're gone," he takes your hand and pulls you towards the door. "And where it's a lot, lot warmer."
"Wimp."
He smiles, pulling you in quickly and wrapping his arm around your waist to lead you inside.
You hadn't realised how cold it was until you were back in the warmth of the living room, and Leo soon stops you both.
"There you are," he grins widely, a slight slur to his words. "I though I was going to miss you both at midnight. Here, champagne."
Leo hands you both a glass and turns away again, standing on his toes to try to look over the crowd and shouting Janet's name until he spots her near the kitchen.
The TV has been turned on, images of Big Ben flash across the screen, and it's hard to believe that you're not that far away from the celebrations that everyone seems to now be glued to.
"I know what you're worried about."
You wish he'd stop doing that. Stop leaning in so close to your ear that you can feel his warm breath on your skin, and take you completely be surprise.
"I'm not worried about anything," you answer quickly, trying to regain your composure. "Why would I be worried."
He smiles, pulling you in closer again and looking you straight in the eyes.
"You always were a terrible liar."
His eyes hold yours, and you find it impossible to look away as the countdown begins, and everyone around you begins to chant along with the presenters on the TV.
Ten. Ten seconds left of the crappy year.
Nine. Eight. Seven.
He's still staring at you, a smile playing on his lips, and a certain something in his eyes, the spark that has been missing for so long, that tells you that you've finally got your Harry back. After everything that's happened this year, for both of you, everything is truly back to normal.
Three. Two. One.
The crowd of people around you cheer. Harry smiles. Leans towards you. And kissed you. Properly kisses you. For a second, two, three… soon you loose count and instead focus on kissing him back, everything else around you blurring into the background, his soft lips on yours being the only thing that matters.
Eventually he pulls away again and you instantly miss his touch, before he grins, a thousand unspoken words hanging in the air around you.
Leo's watching. You can tell, can see him out the corner of your eye. And Harry's noticed too. He leans in close to your ear long enough to whisper "Patio, five minutes", flashes you a dazzling smile, and turns towards Leo.
"Jealous Leo? Your turn," he laughs as he walks away from you, arms outstretched in Leo's direction making kissing noises at his boss as Leo backs away laughing.
You stand completely still for a few seconds, watching Harry grab Leo and pretend to try and kiss him, before you finally snap back to reality and remember that you're supposed to be doing something.
There goes your New Year's resolution. It's not even one minute past midnight and Harry Cunningham is so far under your skin he's found your very soul, and taken it for his own.
You politely shake hands and kiss cheeks with a few of the other guests, mainly ones that you know and would notice if you missed them. Zak and a few of the girls from reception. Janet smiles at you warmly as you give her a hug, wish her a Happy New Year, but it's Leo who hugs you the tightest, gives you a small smirk as he squeezes your shoulder.
"Happy 2012 Nikki," he grins. "I have a feeling this ones going to be a good one, don't you?"
He has that look in his eyes again. The I-know-more-than-you-think-I-know look, and you can't help but smile back, even though you know he's got the wrong idea.
You know what Leo's thinking, and you want to think that too, more than anything. But the thing is, you can't. You can't let yourself believe the wishes in your head, because it only makes it more painful when you realise that they really are only just dreams. You've been in this situation before after all. He's kissed you before, giving you that brief moment to dream, and then backing away again, breaking your heart and letting you pick up the pieces.
You're not going to let him do that to you again. Your hearts been broken too many times to be fixed if he was to do it again. That's why it's better not to dream in the first place.
After a few more hugs you disappear back outside on to the patio, your head spinning and your mind running on overdrive. You always stuck to your new years resolutions. Always. You knew this one was going to be the hardest to stick to, and yet he didn't even give you a chance!
You had normal. For a few seconds, you had normal back, and now he's gone and changed everything again, started the year on uncertainty and confusion. You hadn't even realised that you had begun to pace the patio until the door opens behind you and Harry appears, a playful look on his features.
"Why Harry? Why did you do it?"
You hadn't planned on shouting at him, but now that you see him it's the only thing that seems natural. But he just remains silent.
"Answer me Harry. What was wrong with an awkward kiss on the cheek like every other year?"
"I'm fed up of awkward."
"Me too, but that's besides the point."
"And you didn't think that was awkward? That kiss."
You open your mouth to respond, before closing it again and glaring at him.
"Not at the time, no," you answer eventually. "But now. Yeah, now it's awkward."
"Why?"
What does he mean why? That's your question. Why did he kiss you? Why has he destroyed the normal you thought you'd managed to regain?
He closes the gap between you in two strides, pulling you in close to his chest and leaning his chin on your shoulder again, this time facing you.
"Why is this awkward?"
You can feel yourself melting into his touch, and know that that is exactly where you're meant to be. There is nothing awkward about the way his hand grips your shoulder, and rests on your back.
"I asked first," you breath, the smell of his aftershave making you dizzy. "Why did you do it? Why now?"
You hear him sigh as he leans his forehead against yours.
"Because I did make a New Year's resolution," he says simply, leaning back slightly to look at you properly. "To kiss you whenever I could."
You don't know what to say, how to respond, and so you just stare at him, your mouth hanging open slightly.
How could you have been so stupid to believe that you could ever, ever stop thinking about this man for more than a few minutes? Your resolution was doomed before you'd even thought of it.
He tilts your head up with his finger under your chin and smirks, before kissing you again and sending shivers through your body that have nothing to do with the cold.
"Of course, if you'd rather I didn't…" he mutters, but you cut him off with another kiss, feeling him chuckle against your lips.
You pull back after a few more seconds and look at him seriously now, his hand wrapped around yours.
"Harry, this year," you begin and see him nod. "This years going to be different, isn't it? It's going to be better."
"Yes," he answers immediately, pulling you in close again. "This year is going to be how it should be. How it should have been a long time ago. You were there for me Nikki, you always have been, no matter how much I pushed you away. And last year, I made your life terrible. I messed yours up just as bad as I messed up mine. But this year, I promise you, I'm going to make it all better again."
"Please don't do this Harry," you can feel the tears stinging your eyes. "Please don't do this because you feel like you need to make up for something. I know how you felt about Anna, I know how you lost everything-"
"Nikki," he places a soft finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "I'm not doing this to prove anything, or to make up for anything. I'm doing this because I love you Nikki. I really do, and I think I have done for a long long time. Yes I had feelings for Anna, and I can't promise that I'll never think of what happened ever again, but I love you Nikki. And I'm not starting another year without telling you."
The tears are now running down your cheeks, and he wipes them away with his thumb.
"Now come on," he smiles. "Leo said I could stay in the spare room, which has a double bed and his entire DVD collection in it. I'll even let you pick."
You give him a watery laugh and kiss him again, wiping away your tears.
"You do know I love you too, don't you?"
"I guessed when you didn't object to all the kissing," he smirks, and you hit him playfully on the arm.
"Okay, warm duvet, lots of cuddles and a DVD. What a lively way to start the year," you smile, following him back inside. "No promises I'll pay attention throughout the entire film though, Leo's DVD collection is worse than yours. Maybe Janet's better at choosing."
"No complaints from me, I'm sure I can think of something else to do if you get bored," Harry grins, kissing you hard on the lips before pulling you through the crowd of people.
You got one thing right about this year.
You did find the someone who could make you smile on the worst days imaginable, and keep you safe when you let your defences down. And so did Harry. You were both going to be happy this year after all, because the more you thought about it, it really couldn't be anyone else.
He not like any other guy. He's Harry. Your Harry. The one you've always gone to, no matter what.
And he's been yours for a long time when you really think about it.
Maybe it took heat ache and a whole lot of patience, but finally you've found your Harry again, the one that had been lost in Budapest the last year. And there's no way you're letting him go again. Not ever.
This year was going to be different.
This year belonged to you and Harry.
Together.
