Written for the Flavour s Challenge at HPFC. Lucius/Narcissa after the war.
The door closed behind Draco quietly, providing Lucius and Narcissa with deathly silence, save for the slight rush of air. It had, overall, been a nice evening - talking over dinner - but now that Draco had left, it seemed neither of them had anything to say. Lucius was still sitting on the sofa, and Narcissa was standing. She wanted to do something to free her of this anxiety and awkwardness, but didn't know what. It had been this way since the Dark Lord was defeated. Neither of them had realized, during the hectic years prior to his short rise to power, just how much they had grown apart.
"That was nice-"
"The evening progressed well-"
They spoke at the same time, then abruptly broke off when thy realized the other was speaking. Narcissa nodded to him (ever the gracious wife), and he completed his sentence.
"Draco was pleasing company. I very much enjoyed conversing with him in a friendly manner, rather than the tense conversations we used to have."
Despite his clipped tones, Narcissa thought this was his idea of high praise. He had never been one to waste time on silly emotions, but Lucius Malfoy loved his son. Narcissa stood there meekly, waiting. A heavy and uncomfortable silence fell, and Narcissa saw Lucius twitch. It was almost imperceptible, and she had almost missed it, but the complete silence and lack of movement in the room made it easier to spot.
She had lost her touch. Once upon a time, Narcissa Malfoy had been able to read her husband's emotions as easily as she breathed. Now, though, she noticed that she had fallen out of practice.
He waved his arm towards the seat next to him, and Narcissa's heart began to pound. She barely suppressed a smile. Just a few months ago, Lucius would have given up his right hand before offering a seat to his wife. His "friends" and, ahem, co-workers (with Voldemort) laughed when he backhanded her across the face, or when he tripped her and made her fall on the floor.
Narcissa sat down obligingly, and then froze. Her expression stayed neutral as she wated for her husband to indicate what to do. She didn't want to overstep any boundaries. But those were silly Pureblood traditions, weren't they? Why did she need to wait for Lucius? She had a mind of her own!
"What were your impressions of this evening?" he asked her, quietly.
Narcissa turned to him, catching his eyes with hers. She couldn't take his forceful gaze for long and quickly looked to the floor. "I think Draco has grown much in character in the past year. He is a fine young man."
A terse nod was all that came from him.
Taking a deep breath, Narcissa steeled herself. She was about to do the unthinkable - speak out of turn.
"Lucius. Look at me," she commanded, though her eyes couldn't look into his for long. "Tell me this isn't bothering you."
He looked wary, and nodded again.
"Why? Why can't we go back to how it was before?" she was referring to their lives before the Dark Lord's return.
He shook his head and finally spoke. "Narcissa, you and I both know that things can never go back to that."
Her voice wavered as she spoke, "Why not?"
"Because we are no longer those people. Haven't you seen my scars? It's not like I'm lacking. I've changed, since then-"
"Have you seen my scars?" her voice held raw emotion. "Have you ever stopped to think about how I felt every time you humiliated me?"
He looked down at the floor and if she wasn't mistaken, there was a slight tinge of remorse in the lines of his face. Narcissa tried to speak again before she lost her nerve. "I spent ten years waiting for you to come to your senses an kick those maniacs out. Ten years. Don't kid yourself by thinking I couldn't have left if I wanted to-"
He stood up, looking disgruntled. She recognized it as a way of reminding her that in the grand scheme of things, he was bigger, he held more power. Well, she didn't believe in that. His voice came out as collected as ever.
"So why didn't you?"
Narcissa stood quietly, though she felt like she was going to explode from surpressed emotion very soon if she didn't do something sudden. Her eyes glanced up and met his cold ones, though they looked a hundred times better, more relaxed, than after meetings with the Dark Lord.
"Because I loved you."
The implications of that hung in the air, tainting it and making the already heavy atmosphere almost unbearable.
Lucius sat down in shock, silent and without a retort, for once.
The grandfather clock that sat in that same room ticked the seconds away. It took nearly two minutes before Narcissa collected herself and sat down again and pulled out her knitting, waiting for whatever came next. She was shaking slightly, and hoped he wouldn't notice.
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