AN: I took some time off from saving the world (that's right, I'm a superhero) to bring you this little ditty. Don't know how you'll react. It's male slash, but that's all I'm gonna tell you because…I said so. That felt good! Okay so this is AU, basically because in my story, Jess moves in with Luke when he's like 10, and at this pint Luke and Lorelai are living together/married. Those specifics don't really matter though.

Oh, the title, as you may know, is coming from a variation on a quote from Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm not some huge fan of that movie or something, I just remembered there was a quote that fit my story.


Title: "A Wedding Rehearsal? I Love Wedding Reheasals!"

Author: self proclaimed genius

Rating: PG-13, or whatever the equivalent is, I still don't get it

Warning: Non graphic SLASH Turn back now if this makes you uncomfortable.

Summary: Rory's wedding brings two members of the wedding party together

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.

Jess looked across the room and sighed before tugging at the restrictive collar of the dress shirt and tie he was wearing for the occasion. At least he was dressed right though. He had consulted about ten different websites about what to wear to a wedding rehearsal before giving up and convincing Luke to ask Lorelai for him. He had been standing for what felt like hours and all he wanted to do was sit down.

"Hey," said a voice from somewhere to the left. "Hey you!" He wondered who he was referring to.

The voice said again exasperatedly, "Hey! Will some body please get Don Corlone's attention? I've got a rehearsal to run!" At this point, Jess definitely knew who the man was referring to. He was the only one in the room besides Lane who didn't look like a WASP who could be descended from the original founding fathers. Hell, most of them probably were. At the remembrance of the man's insulting comment towards his Italian heritage, he took a threatening step towards him and began an angry rave too the man.

"Listen buddy. I don't know what your problem is, but I sure as hell know you better not have just said that." Rory ran between the two men and laid a hand on Jess' chest before he could say anymore.

She did not, however, have the same effect on the wedding planner. "My problem," he began slowly with a haughty tone. "Is greasy boys like you who try to ruin my beautiful designer wedding wearing that JC Penny reject suit with that disgusting tie."

"You better watch it man," he said forcefully while leaning into the distance that separated them.

"Jess, calm down," Rory said as she tried to play the voice of reason.

"That's right Jess calm down."

"Tim! Please, just give me a minute."

"Fine," he said as he walked away.

"That guy is such a jerk," sighed Jess.

"He's just trying to get a rise out of you. I mean, who wouldn't, you're looking very appetizing in that suit of yours."

"Yeah, well by the way, this damn suit that apparently resembles something I could have gotten for much cheaper is from Saks." He raised his voice for Tim to hear from where he was standing away from their conversation. "You hear that Tim? Saks! Not JC Penny."

"Jess calm down. He was just being a jerk."

"What the hell for? I was completely minding my business, and he has to make a stupid comment about the Godfather. He better have meant Al Pachino, because if he tries to equate me to Vito, I'm kicking his ass."

"So you're telling me you don't like Brando?"

"In the Godfather? No. He was fat and his ass was sagging. In A Streetcar Named Desire however…"

"You're preaching to the choir. Now can we please get back to the rehearsal?"

"Fine. How much longer is this thing gonna last?"

"We're almost done I swear. Then we get to go to the dinner in Stars Hallow."

"Don't remind me," he said as he walked back to his space and Tim took this as his signal to the return to his post of barking orders at everyone.


­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ ­­­

About an hour later, Jess was standing in front of Miss Patty's dance studio where the dinner was to take place. Jess had ridden with Rory and Logan as he had on the way there, but now they were joined by Finn, whom Jess was told was one of Logan's best friends, and not surprisingly, his best man.

Jess was reluctant to enter the studio, but knew that he had no other real choice. He spotted Luke and Lorelai exiting their car accompanied by their two kids who both had roles in the wedding, who stopped to talk to Patty. Sensing the need to get out of the older woman's sight, he quickly followed the small crowd into the building. The door was left open to let in the spring air. Jess took this opportunity to take off his jacket since the formal part of the evening was over.

Around the room were pictures of both Logan and Rory as young children. There were also several round tables set with place cards sitting atop the plates. Jess noticed that no one was seated yet, and took the opportunity to peruse his tablemates. He found his name at a table along with Lane, a few of Rory's relatives, some of Logan's relatives, and seated right next to him was Miss Patty. He knew it had to be some kind of joke on Rory's part. Miss Patty, who was only really invited because the dinner was being held at her dance studio, had been seriously pursuing him ever since she noticed his lack of 'lady friends' as she called them. Even now, after he had made it abundantly clear that he was in no way, shape, or form interested in her, Rory thought Patty's relentless obsession with him was hilarious. At the thought of enduring two hours of that treatment, he grimaced and decided to switch her card with someone else's. He found someone whom he didn't know, but that he hoped no one would notice if he wasn't in his assigned seat, and switched him with Ms. Patty. After looking around the room and hoping no one had noticed, he moved towards the bar set up across the room.

Later, when everyone was beginning to sit down, Jess discovered who he had switched to have sitting next to him. It was a guy about his age, wearing an olive green shirt and a tie of a similar color with some type of geometric pattern on it. Jess recognized him from the rehearsal, and thought that he may have stood near him in the procession.

Jess walked to his seat and sat down. The man next to him noticed the new presence and took the opportunity to introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Colin Stanford."

Jess accepted his extended hand and replied, "Jess Mariano."

"Right, I think the whole church was informed when you got into that scuffle with the wedding planner."

Jess blushed slightly. "Yeah, well Rory told me to be on 'company' behavior but I couldn't help it after he told me I looked like my suit was a JC Penny reject."

"Yeah, well don't worry about it. He told me my Italian leather shoes looked like they came from Payless. So I'm assuming you're with the bride?"

"Yeah, she's my step cousin. Don't ask me why I'm a groomsman. I've met Logan twice and we've only exchanged pleasantries.

"Yeah, but I saw you guys in there. You have to be more than just step cousins?"

"Well, truth be told, she's more like my sister. I moved in with her mom and my Uncle Luke when I was ten and she was nine, so we grew up together."

"So you two must have to have a pretty strong friendship then?" Jess nodded in confirmation as their food came. As they ate, the two continued talking about a wide array of subjects, virtually ignoring the rest of the table. Colin told about how he had become a college professor at his alma mater, while Jess shared stories of his numerous jobs in the past ten years, ending with his newfound ownership of the Black, White, and Read Bookstore. By the time the traditional toasts began, Colin and Jess had begun a friendship that was sure to outlast the time spent together at the wedding of two of their best friends. Logan was the first to toast to thank all of the people in the wedding party, in addition to his and Rory's parents. He was followed by Finn, who had settled down since his college years, and was only what he referred to as Piss Drunk, as opposed to Completely Sloshed. He relayed some stories about Logan in college before Logan put a stop to it. Paris took the opportunity to recite her lengthy prepared speech. After her audience was thoroughly bored to death, Paris was finished and Colin took the opportunity to begin speaking.

"I, uh, I don't really have anything prepared, and I don't want to bore you with some lengthy speech that brings you to tears. So I just wanted to say one thing. Logan and Rory are great people, and great friends. And even though it's amazing that they managed to find each other, they really deserve it. Hopefully all of us will be half as lucky as the two of them."

He sat down while others stood to toast the couple. When the toasting was done, the groom's cake was served as dessert. Jess and Colin resumed their conversation with the topic of literature. They continued talking, in the same fashion they had done all evening, until the end of the night at 9:00 so that everyone could rest up for the wedding. The guests were leaving as Rory and Logan stood by the door to bid them good night. After she finished talking to one of Logan's aunts, she came to where Colin and Jess stood, still conversing.

"Well it looks like you two've become friends."

"Well," began Jess. "After you set me next to Miss Patty for dinner, thanks by the way, I have to intervene."

"Sorry about that, my mom must have come in here earlier and changed the name cards. She loves putting you and Patty in situations together. Which now that I think about it explains the room 'mix-up' at the Dragonfly five year anniversary."

"I knew it!"

"But yeah," she paused. "I'm actually really happy you two ended up sitting together. I've been meaning to introduce you to Jess, Colin, ever since you came out."

"Wait a second. This is the friend you're always blabbing about?" Colin asked.

"This is the teacher who I've just got to meet because I'd love him?"

As soon as the two realized what this meant, they turned towards each other and exclaimed, "You're gay?"

Colin went on to mutter to himself about his gay-dar being off, and Jess proceeded to remind Rory of their deal where if Rory had knowledge of a man's homosexuality whom Jess would be encountering, she was to alert him immediately.

She shrugged and smiled while saying, "At least I told you about Tim."

Colin snorted at this.

"Is there something you'd like to share Colin?" She asked as if she were a grade school teacher.

"Anyone, including my dead grandmother, could tell with that queen."

Jess went on to agree, "Yeah, why'd you hire him anyway."

"Why do you think? My grandmother obviously. She's in love with him." She saw that Logan was ready to go by the door and so she quickly wrapped up the conversation. "Well, I gotta go. I'm getting married tomorrow. And you two need to get to bed. I will not have the bags under your eyes ruining my wedding pictures. Bye boys!"

She exited the dance studio with Logan, before the two men followed after her, and Jess began to walk Colin to his car. When they reached it, Colin looked around. "Where's yours?"

"I rode with Rory and Logan. I was just gonna walk home."

"Well, do you need a ride?"

"It's only a couple blocks."

"Come on, just get in. I'll never forgive myself if you get mugged or something."

Jess sighed reluctantly but obliged anyway. "A mugging in Stars Hallow? You've obviously new here. The biggest crime we've ever had was the fake crime scene I painted in front of the grocery store when I was a teenager." Colin laughed and Jess directed him to his apartment, which was over the bookstore.

"Do you wanna come in? You know, for coffee or something?"

"I'd love to."

The men got out of the car and Jess unlocked the door to the bookstore to let them in. Colin took a look around and was impressed at the collection of books in such a small town books store. They went up the stairs to Jess's apartment where Jess immediately took off his jacket and tie before unbuttoning his shirt to reveal the wife beater below.

"Make yourself at home," he said to Colin. "I'm just gonna go, as slutty as this sounds, 'slip into something more comfortable.'"

Colin, too, removed his jacket and the tie around his neck simultaneously unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt. He moved into the living room and took a seat on the modest looking couch.

When Jess returned, it was in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. More fitted than he used to wear as a teenager, but still remaining true to his old style. "So can I get you something to drink?"

"I'll take coffee if you have it."

"Believe me. Rory would never enter this place if I didn't." He went into the adjoining room to prepare the coffee. "So," he spoke loud enough for Colin to hear. "When'd you come out?"

"Oh, about five years ago. My third year of college. You?"

Jess can into the room with the coffee and sat down in a chair. "Senior year of high school. You know how I said Rory and I dated? Well, my coming out was directly linked to a situation where Luke and Lorelai were out of town, and Rory and I making out on my bed. We got to the point where she unzipped my pants and found me to be limp as spaghetti. So she ran from the room, and an hour later, I went downstairs to apologize and ended up giving her the honest explanation."

"Yeah, Rory was really great when I came out to her too. I actually told her before I told Logan, who was my roommate at the time, because I didn't know how he'd react."

"How'd he react?"

"Oh, he was fine with it. Indifferent even. When my parents heard it through the Yale grapevine however…"

"Ouch."

"Yeah. My father disowned me and took me out of his will."

"And I thought my mom was a bitch when I came out."

"No loss really. I hate my dad, and I don't need his money. My grandfather hated him too, so he left most of his estate to my sister and me in trust funds."

"Yeah, well my dad doesn't even know. Not that it matters. I met him once, when I was 18. We talked for about ten minutes, then he had to go and I never saw him again."

"That's harsh."

"Yeah, well. No use rehashing old wounds. You want to watch a movie or something?"

"Against the objections of Rory, yes."

Jess picked a random flick from his collection and put it on. He sat on the couch this time, you know, for the best movie watching angle. Minutes into the movie he muted the TV and turned towards Colin.

"Don't think I'm some kind of slut or something, because I don't usually do this, but I really like you."

"I like you too Jess." With the confirmation from Colin, a look of relief as well as a shy smile washed across Jess's face. Slowly, he leaned in towards Colin and closed his eyes. Colin did the same and soon the once innocent kiss had developed into a full fledged snogging session. Colin pulled away from Jess who who was now lying partially on top of him.

"Jess?"

"Hmm?" Jess said into his neck.

"Don't you think this calls for a change in location?"

"Oh, right," he said as he stood up from the couch and grabbing Colin's hand to pull him up, before directing him towards his bedroom. He pushed Colin gently onto the bed and went to turn off the lights. Just before jumping into the bed with him, Jess remarked, "Well Rory did tell us to get to bed, didn't she?"

AN: And there it is. My first and probably last slash piece. Please don't flame me if you love Jess and hate me for making him gay. Also don't review if it's just to say how much of a sin homosexuality is. I don't care. I also am quite aware of how weird of a pairing this is. That's the point. I know it's hard to imagine Jess gay, but bear with me. This is an AU, somewhat. Colin's character isn't really defined, so for all we know, he could be a cross dresser. Okay, please give me feedback on what you liked/disliked about it. If it's anything I can change, I probably will.