Here I am, Sookie Stackhouse, on the outside to everyone looking in I'm the most happiest and joyful person you could every meet. But on the inside I'm surrounded by pits of depression just looking for on to fall into.

It all started when I was 6 years old. I met a boy while I was playing outside on my farm in Louisiana. His name was Eric. He was an average kind of boy that chased and beat you up for teasing him. After that first meeting where he beat up a boy at the bus stop for pushing me down, we kept on meeting at the bus stop and talking to each other. That only lasted for a little while though. After that, we would meet at the fence in my front yard all the time and were always seen together there.

I would tell Eric all my secrets. He was very quiet and would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school.

One day I told him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. Eric comforted me and told me everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured that I loved him as a good friend.

All through high school till graduation, we're always together and I thought it was normal as we were good friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night, even though we had different dates for the prom, I really wanted to be with him. After everybody went home that night, I went to his house and told him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him looking at the stars and talking about our future plans instead. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about his dreams. He wanted to get married and settle down. He also said he wanted to be rich and successful. I told him about my dreams and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurt because I didn't tell him how I felt about him. I wanted to tell him that I love him so badly but I was too scared and frightened to do so. Why would he want a girl like me anyway? I would always think to myself. I decided to let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell Eric how I felt. All through college, I wanted to tell him about my feelings but he always had someone with him. He grew up and be came quite the ladies and it broke my heart to relies I would never be one of those girls.

After graduation, he got a job in New York. I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was also sad because I didn't tell him how I felt. But still, I couldn't let him know then as he was leaving for his big job. I just kept it to myself and watched him board the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I felt for him inside my heart.

I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way up to be a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day, I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from Eric. I was happy and sad at the same time. I now knew that I could never be with him and we could only be friends from now on. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. All our friends and family were there happy to finally see Eric settle down. But I could tell that as they glanced at me they knew I was heart broken for what was about to happen. It seemed like everyone knew how much I cared for Eric except Eric himself. There was a big church wedding and grand reception at a hotel. I met his bride a beautiful women named Sophie- Ann and for the first time in years I saw Eric in the fleash. I fell in love when him again on that day. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy with another person. I tried to appear to be happy to cover up the sadness and tears inside me.