A/N: As some of you might know, I have already written this story once, but didn't finish it. The story wasn't going where I wanted it to go, and I felt like the first 3 chapters where unnecessary so I decided to start it over.
Triggers: Eating disorders (mostly Anorexia and Bulimia but also mentions of other disorders) and self-harm, etc. If you're easily triggered I would advise to not read this story; better safe than sorry.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah blah, you know the drill (:
A/N2: (02-09-2013) I have rewritten this chapter, fixed some grammatical errors and stuff. No content/action was changed except I changed the flashbacks to 'voices' so it's not really necessary to reread it but you might want to. I did it because I think it might be more attractive to new readers and the bad grammar/some over all annoying things were bothering me, so I fixed them.
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DAMAGED GOODS
CHAPTER ONE
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Castle arrives at the crime scene with two cups of fresh, steaming coffee in his hands. He spots Beckett standing next to her cruiser, fumbling with her keys and purse.
''Good morning Detective!'' he cheerfully greets her as he makes his way towards her. He hands her her coffee, which she gratefully accepts.
''Thanks,'' she smiles gently.
Together they walk up to the open front door and enter the house. A young officer directs them up the stairs and into one of the bedrooms. Officers and detectives, many of who quickly make place for Beckett as they see her arrive, crowd the bedroom. The room as an eerie atmosphere and the people standing in it are just a little too quiet for Beckett's liking.
''So what have got, Lanie?'' Beckett asks as she enters the room.
''Caucasian female, 16 years old, no signs of struggle, no obvious cause of death.'' Lanie tells her in a low and quiet voice, a sad expression on her face.
Kate almost asks her why everyone is acting so damn down today but she instantly gets it as the victim catches her eye.
The girl was lying on the carpet next to her bed; long brown hair fanned around her pale, hollow face. Her hazel eyes were spread wide open, empty and clouded as if they had seen a ghost, but that wasn't the worst part. The girl was emaciated; her shirt bunched up at her bruised ribs ; showing her pointy, also bruised hip bones and inhumane yet bloated stomach. Her arms; lying awkwardly next to her body and covered with fuzzy hair, could not be compared to anything but matchsticks.
She has to take a moment to bit back a gasp and compose herself.
''Time of death?'' she eventually asks, hoping her hoarse voice wouldn't sound through.
''About 7 or 8 AM,'' Lanie answers.
Kate nods, and notices Castle coming to stand next to her. She looks at him and sees his eyes almost popping out of his head.
''Holy-'' he shakes his head. ''That's terrible. What is it with those girls today!'' he exclaims, but his face is pale in shock.
''She can't help it Castle,'' Beckett answers, almost accusingly. She crouches down next to the victim.
''Girl's name is Allison Jakeman. The parents were out for the night, came home around midnight. Her mother found her dead when she went into the room to wake her up. Little brother was home all night and he says he is absolutely sure there was no one else with her during the night or morning,'' Esposito tells them, while writing something down.
''If Alexis would ever get this skinny, I'd force her to eat fast food all day,'' Castle continues.
Beckett tries to come up with a reply, but can't think of anything that won't make her seem like she's too overprotective of the girl. And he doesn't mean it like this either, he probably just doesn't understand.
''Hey guys, I found this,'' Ryan enters the room, holding up a evidence bag containing an unlabelled box with medium sized white pills. ''Hidden in a box with tampons and girly stuff.'' He scrunches up his nose.
''Bro, why did you look in a box with tampons?'' Esposito asks, mirroring his partner's expression.
''Don't ask.'' Ryan cuts him off. ''Her parents do not recognize it; say she didn't use any medication. And obviously it was not something she was supposed to use if she hid it.'' The Irish detective then continues.
Beckett holds out her hand for the pills and takes a closer look.
''Lanie, you know these are?'' Esposito asks, pointing at the pills in Beckett's hands, who is looking at them.
''I can't be sure, I'll have to run tests in the lab but they look like…''
''Laxatives.'' Beckett interrupts her friend. ''They're laxatives,'' she then repeats a little more confidently.
''How do you know?'' Ryan questions, his brows raised but not looking at the detective while taking notes.
''Uh. Common knowledge,'' she shrugs it off.
''Okay. So she probably took an overdose and died due to intoxication,'' Esposito says, but Beckett shakes her head.
''You can't die from those, unless you take like 10 and then you'd get very sick at first and die due to malnutrition,'' Beckett speaks while walking around the room, searching for anything unusual.
''Well, isn't there a really big chance that she did actually die from malnutrition, I mean… look at the girl…'' Castle tries, carefully.
''Her parents would've noticed her getting sick and weak. She wouldn't just suddenly drop dead,'' Lanie replies while the body was put into a body bag and transported outside. ''-but we'll run tests anyway to check her levels. There is a chance, of course.''
''They don't really seem good parents to me. I mean, shouldn't they do something about the girl's situation…''
''They're probably used to her looking this way, didn't notice.'' Beckett offers.
Castle shakes his head in disbelief but lets it go.
…
Two hours later they are sitting in the interrogation room, across Allison's parents. They'd asked them to come to the precinct to ask them some more questions.
Mrs. Jakeman is still silently crying, her eyes brimmed and red and her make up running down her face.
Mr. Jakeman is just blankly staring into the space, his face white as a sheet.
''Did she have any new friends lately, or maybe got into a fight with her friends?'' Beckett asks as she arranges some files on the table in front of her.
''No, no not that I know of,'' the mother spoke while shaking her head. Her eyes were still brimmed and red from crying, while the father was just staring into the space like this was all a dream.
''Are there any friends that you don't like, or that gave you an odd feeling?'' she continues.
The woman shook her head again.
''No, she had many friends. She was popular, but there were only a few people she actually hung out with, you know what I mean? Many people considered her as a friend and from what she told me she hung out with them at school, but she only really hung out with I think three girls and some guys.''
''Did she have a boyfriend?'' Castle asks gently.
''No. I don't think so.''
''You don't think so?'' Castle asks, looking confused. How could the parents not know what was going on in their daughter's life? Didn't they care about her? They seemed like nice people, but didn't seem good parents in his opinion.
''I mean from what we know she's never had one before. But she's such a pretty girl so we weren't really sure, thought she might hide it from us.''
Kate felt her partner tense up and grabbed his forearm from under the table, squeezing it softly to keep him from speaking up.
''I am sorry for having to ask you, but how about her health? We found laxatives in her room that are now being tested, were you aware that she had them?''
''No! If we knew we would've stopped her immediately.'' Mrs. Jakeman exclaims. He looks positively shocked.
''Okay. We have a team still searching her room for more drugs as we often find they are related to cases like this. Also, has she had any treatment for anorexia or any eating disorder? Has she maybe been in a clinic or had therapy?''
''No, we… how… she'd always been a bad eater, never ate much, didn't like much. She'd always been thin too, we never…'' Mr. Jakeman stammered. ''We thought she'd been eating fine…'' He then whispered, his face filled with guilt and embarrassment.
Kate bites her lip and looks down. It was rare, but she had no idea how to comfort these people. There was no turning back time, and she couldn't undo that what had happened, no matter how much she wished to.
So she runs her hand through her hair and takes a moment to get herself together.
''Okay. We will need the names and addresses of her closest friends, and you will hear from us.'' She tells the parents while standing up from her seat and releasing Castle's arm. ''Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.''
…
''How could her parents be so blind? I mean, everyone could see the girl didn't eat!'' Castle yells angrily. She's almost never seen him get so riled up about a case.
''Yeah, well, Castle not everyone is as good of a parent as you are.'' Beckett sighs as she passes him and makes her way to the murder board.
She starts writing down some newly found information while Castle sits down in his usual chair, and pulls out his phone.
He stared at it and searched through his apps but nothing seemed to be appealing, because he put it back into his pocket after about a minute or so. Odd. Kate thought. He's addicted to his phone.
After she finished what she was writing, she capped she marker and sat down on the edge of one of the desks in front of the murder board.
It was still quite empty. There was a picture of Allison's face under ''victim'', pictures of the pills and the poor girl's body, and a timeline filled with only the TOD, when the parents left and came home, and found her dead.
She sighs and folds her arms in front of her. She kept staring at the pictures as if she could find out something by just staring. There wasn't much to work with right now, no suspects, and no people to interrogate at all before they would get the information about her friends. The want to bring justice to this girl's family was even bigger than usual.
…
It is when she's been staring at the evidence for over half an hour, alone, that the voice creeps in.
(she looks good, doesn't she?)
It shocks her good and hard for a solid five minutes, because she hasn't heard that voice in so long and although deep down she had expected it, she had hoped she would've been stronger than this.
She shakes her head. That girl doesn't look good, she looks sick as fuck.
(But don't you want to look sick? Be as fragile as you feel? Shatter at the slightest touch?)
No. I'm supposed to be strong. Reliable. Independent.
She fidgets with her fingers, tension building up in her whole body. She wants to run; punch fight; hell, puke, get the tension out. She tries to think of the case, neutral, numbers, times, evidence, but it only makes it worse and she can't break the circle.
(but don't you remember how it feels, Kate?)
Yes. Of course. Of course I fucking do.
(to slide your fingers down you ribs like they're piano keys and you're an artist?)
Her eyes have shut somewhere along the way, and maybe she's half forgotten where she is. She wants to escape the voice, get it out but it's so damn hypnotizing and it's her telling her, making her feel, and god she hasn't felt in so long.
…
She's startled by a big, warm hand on her shoulder.
''You okay?'' his voice sounds. ''Do you want to get out of here for a little while? The guys are staring,'' he tells her when she doesn't respond.
She stirs and quickly wipes away a single tear of frustration and fear that has somehow decided to make its way down her cheek. She hopes he hasn't seen it.
''Huh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just… this case, you know,'' she says while getting up form her chair and pulling on her coat. ''I'm just gonna take a break.''
''For… for how long?'' Rick stammers, afraid that she might leave for more than a couple of weeks again.
''Just an hour or so,'' she reassures him, and she's already on the elevator.
…
Reviews and feedback are really appreciated.
