Note: I do not, nor do I claim to, own any characters written about, they are the property of the creators of Bates Motel. Also, this is my first songfic in a million years, it is Ambien by Conceiting The Victory, it is amazeballs.
I can't sleep you're beautiful
Your eyes are in my dreams
I lie awake, boring holes into the ceiling, unable or perhaps unwilling to rationalize my feelings. I can still feel her body pressed against mine. A simple hug set me aflame. I am lost. I am adrift in my own thoughts. When I breathe deeply I can still smell her. She exudes light and life, subtle hints of vanilla and sunshine linger in my nose.
Reflections of a faded memory
Your words run like drugs through me
I should have kissed her. Every fiber of my being screamed out when she got in her car and I let her leave. I knew she wanted me to, anyone could feel the tension, the air between us has been charged a long while now, and yet cooler heads have prevailed. But not for long. She's in my blood now. I can hear it call out, feel my body longing to take solace in her closeness, just to be a part of the aura she creates.
And can you feel my breath?
Alone at night against your neck
And do you crave these words?
Do you still feel the chill?
I feel in riddle, everything shifts in my mind as I think of that fleeting hug. Her lips lingered on my neck, hot breath, warm hands, this burning was threatening to engulf the world. I don't know that I will ever sleep again. I am awake. All of me. My heart keeps time with my thoughts for every passing glance, every time I swallowed my words, all the while they caught in my throat. I never knew what it meant to implode until I got lost in her eyes the first time.
I'm jealous of the sunrise
Because he wakes up next to you
It was raining again. It's always raining in White Pine Bay, maybe that's why I like it here. It's much easier to hide in the fog that swallows this town whole. Each raindrop that falls echoes through the room, it's quiet, too quiet. I can feel the fog consuming me, like it always does, but now I have hopes of escape. Perhaps I'm not destined to be a constant, never changing cog in the background.
And all I'll be is pale moonlight
But we will always share this night
The sun is coming up, or it would be if the rain let it. I resign myself to face another sleep deprived day. New days always seemed to bring new pains in this life. I sit up and sigh. Will I ever believe I deserve to be happy? I am perpetual sorrow. I am a mistake, the fog in everyone's life, merely an obstacle to be overcome. I notice my phone flashing. It's a picture. Sunlight breaking through the clouds, disrupting the fog, the text: "Spent all night waiting for the dawn and it was right in front of me, all along."
And can you feel my breath?
Alone at night against your neck
And do you crave these words?
Do you still feel the chill?
I knew then that she was my penance. The balance, the ephemeral sunlight and I was her dreary day. We were hope, symbiotic, no longer alone and could never be separated. I would carry her with me always, and could feel in her words that I had left my mark on her as well.
So where's your heart now?
I am captivated. I am…whole. All the holes filled, my heart full, I could start truly living.
So where's your heart now?
Today has only just begun, and it's proving to be better than I could have hoped to dream.
Fin
