Halberd
Uhh… Dear diary?
I can barely see… it's really dark in here… Mum took my candle away.
At least the moonlight is helping me.
Here I am… at the windowsill. It's still quite warm here at night…
It's quite refreshing here. It's good to get away from my horrible Mum. She sent me to bed at three PM today. Apparently I was being rude… how? All I said was "Can I have the milk, please?"
And she shouted at me and sent me to bed… My brother Rodrigo never gets sent into his room early… All he does is sit on the floor and look out of the window and watch the Monquistan Army trot by. Sometimes he gets his fat rear out of the house and he talks to some of those Monquistan army monkeys. They look quite dashing. I think it'd be interesting to be one of them. Not that I'm thinking of enlisting, of course.
Oh, I don't think I've written about where I live… I live on a big island just a bit away from the rest of Tierra Primata Skyway. It's called El Perro. It's where the the Monquistan Army are mobilised. We unfortunately live right next to the base, which makes it very loud. Currently I'm not hearing anything, which is nice. Normally there IS a shout or the sound of something breaking. Of course, I've never broken anything. Never. Totally didn't smash Mum's clay pot by accident yesterday.
Okay, maybe I did. I was in bed by 1 PM. Wait, hang on, I remember it now. Rodrigo knocked it over and smashed it and I, expecting devastation, started to clean it up. Mum blamed me and Rodrigo was out of the room. It seems I'm always in trouble nowadays. Ugh… I'm going to sleep now.
I'm up now. I guess I have to get ready for school. I walked over to my draw, pulling it open. I get my shirt, and I hear—
"ARIO PEREZ! ARE YOU UP YET!?"
No, Mum. I'm clearly not up. I'm still in bed, trying to swat away the mosquitos from my face. I grab my white striped shirt, and slip on my tan vest. I button it up with extreme finesse, and another shout enters my room. I put my black trousers and my jet black shoes. I roll down the stairs before Mum goes ballistic.
"Finally, Ario. Have you learnt your lesson?" Mum begins. "I hope you have. You were doing so well, without your milk thieving and whatnot."
My ruby eyes shift over to Rodrigo, who is trying to stifle his laughter. Mum is looking at me with an expression as if she is expecting an answer. I begin, "That was my milk. I bought it at the Monquistamarket. Why do you think—"
"DON'T ANSWER ME BACK!" screams Mum. You can see her shining spit escaping her mouth. "Now, be a good boy and eat your cereal. I actually put some sugar in this time."
I pull the chair out and hop onto it. Rodrigo does the same, his emerald green eyes slowly kicking tears of laughter out. He finds things that aren't funny funny. Probably because he sits on his butt all day eating Batacuda fillets. Actually, what did he say he liked again? Horse radish on toast? I think so.
"So, Rodrigo, how are you?" I begin. "I mean, you've probably eaten twenty of those bowls of cereal."
Rodrigo isn't listening. He's busy eating his cereal. Mum is however, and she shouts at me with extreme profanity, banishing me to my room once again.
When I go upstairs, jumping into my red velvet bed, I can hear her muffled rage being taken out on the air all around her. I sink my face into my fluffy white pillow. Guess I'm not going to school today. Well, it depends. If Mum calms down and sends me to school then I'm going to school. If she doesn't, then that's the fourth day in a row I've been ill.
Mum calmed down, and here I am at school currently. Rodrigo's in a different class to me, so I haven't seen him today.
This is quite a small school. The Monquistans like there to be several schools in their lovely world, because they want the younglings to be 'well educated.' Well, I'll believe it when I see it. There are only about a hundred monkeys to this school, and about five teachers. We can run rings around them.
The only one I like is Mr. Motado. He's a Cow, you see. He's from MooShu. He's really cool, and he teaches us about war and history. One day he brought in his katana. He even cut a tree down with it! The head wasn't happy about that.
I'm in this Maths class with my friend Koja and the teacher. Don't ask what his name is, I don't know. Koja is from Monquista City, so he's quite far off.
Mr. Whatever is babbling on about dividing decimals into quadratic equations or whatever. Koja hands me a note.
I grab the note with anticipation. I unfold it and it reads "Football later?" I turn my head to him and nod with glee. Koja smiles and I can see his fangs. Koja is a darker monkey, and he specifically likes to wear black sunglasses. The teachers tried to stop him from wearing them, but he never ceased to get more pairs. I'm assuming they have about fifty pairs of them in the storage room. Koja and I should raid it one day. Heh heh.
Suddenly, Mr. Whatever calls on me. "What is 2 + 3n – 60 + 32f (2 x 6) to the power of coconut?" I shake my head in confusion.
"Uhh... carrot?" I murmur inaudibly. I squint my eyes and get ready to be ridiculed.
"Yes. Good job, Ario."
I got it right. How? I just randomly said the first thing I thought of! How is carrot even a proper answer! What does to the power of coconut mean? Why am I even here? Ugh!
I really need to find out what his name is. Calling him Mr. Whatever is driving me crazy inside.
Mr. Wha… I can't even be bothered tells us it's the end of class. I get out of my seat and lag behind Koja.
"What's wrong?" Koja asks with confusion.
"Oh, nothing…" I reply.
We go to the next class.
At the end of school, I find Koja. He has his shiny football squeezed in his hands, ready for a kickabout.
"Ready?"
"Ready as I've ever been, Koja."
Koja drops the football down and I get ready to kick. My kicking ability is swung way off guard by the sight of my Mum standing in front of the gate.
"Mum?"
