Yet again this year, summer is as ever absent in London as it always is. The rain is heavy and insistent, alternating between loud beating drops and muted drizzle on my window. The sky feels so low, encroaching on my already oppressive mood. I sigh for what feels like the millionth time today, and the day has only just begun.

"Bella!"

Another sigh. Paralleling my repeated sighs have been the repeated calls of my mother from around the house, as she reminds me of her displeasure with my entire life at the moment by ensuring she make my last day as stressful as possible. As if I didn't already have enough to deal with. I decide to see how long I can test her patience by ignoring her call, and instead focus my gaze once again on the rain.

If I were some hopeless romantic who loved making every moment of her life a film moment, then I would probably love the weather right now. The end of an era, a turning point and a crossroads, the rain would be a metaphor for all these things… But I'm not a hopeless romantic, and I don't love the weather. All it's going to do is make my traipsing to City Airport tomorrow that much more agonizing.

I glance over at my phone as it vibrates with a new text.

how u holding up? all packed up yet? :( love u xxx

Alice, trying to be supportive but making me feel more miserable and angry. It's hard to bottle down the resentment that threatens to bubble forth, even when it's my best friend just trying to be sweet and helpful. This is why I told her not to come and help me today, because even in private I can't stop the bitterness.

ok :) still got a few bits to go. drinks later? xxx

yes! duh. u can say gdbye to everyone… gonna miss u gorgeous. will txt u deets about where/when later. xxx

kk. love u xxx

Say goodbye to everyone… Originally it was just meant to be me and Ali, but then she invited a few people, as is her nature, and now it's a huge deal that I'm leaving. Which isn't what I wanted, but there's no getting out of it now.

"Bella!"

I jump. Tired of yelling herself hoarse for me, mum frowns unhappily from my doorway, laden with a basket overflowing with clothes.

"Yeah, mum."

"I've been calling you for ages," she says, raising an eyebrow. Seeing that I'm not about to supply an explanation for ignoring her, she sighs. "Your last bit of laundry just came out the dryer."

She perches the basket on my bed, and then stretches, wincing as her back elicits a crack. She puts her hands on her hips as she looks around my room.

"It's so empty." She chuckles a little. "I hate the clutter in this house, but seeing the alternative makes me sad." She smiles a sad smile as she, too, glances at the rain through my window. "Well. I'll leave you to it. I'm making your favorite for dinner."

She gives me a quick kiss on the head and then leaves.

"Mum?" I call after her, and step into the doorway to crane my neck at her on the stairs. "I'm going out for drinks after dinner I think. Ali organized a goodbye thing…" I roll my eyes to indicate my unwillingness.

"That's very nice of her. You should go, say goodbye to your friends Bella," she says, frowning at my lack of enthusiasm. "Come in quietly though," she says, starting to make her way downstairs. "Jess has an exam tomorrow and needs to get her sleep."

Right. There goes my last chance of escaping the drinks torture.

Sigh.

"You all packed up?"

I give my dad the side eye over my plate of lemon chicken.

"Dad, seriously?" He starts to protest at my exasperation, but I cut him off. "Of course I'm packed up. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," Jess whines. "Who's going to help me revise?"

I smile at the memory of our revision sessions together, huddled up on her bed surrounded by books and junk food, making up silly rhymes to remember the periodic table and songs to remember formulas.

"Well maybe it's a good thing she's not helping you revise anymore," my dad says, half under his breath and half for us to overhear. I put my fork down to stare at him, and as he avoids my gaze by pretending to be absorbed in his Economist, I force a sarcastic laugh.

"Yeah Jess, it's probably a good thing I don't help anymore," I say bitingly, starting to clear my plate. "After all, wouldn't want you to fail your exams like I did, right Dad?"

I peel myself out of my chair and ignore my mum's protestations, her pleading "Bella" as I scrub my plate in the sink. I wince at the icy cold water, and hurry my efforts, clanging loudly as I do so to ensure Charlie fully understands my displeasure.

"Come on, it's your last night, can't we just have a nice meal in peace?" she says, trying to smile brightly, and making eyes at my dad to make sure he behaves. "I made apple pie for dessert too," she adds softly, her smile starting to lose its life as she notices that I'm slowly walking out the kitchen.

"Yeah, come on Bella." I turn to look at Emmett, and realize this is the first thing he's said all evening. His usually cheerful young and goofy face is blank now, but his eyes say it all. They tug and pull at my heartstrings, entreating me to stay, even if it's only just for him.

"I've gotta go meet Alice," I say, half in apology to Emmett, and the other half just as an excuse to get out of there. Not even my lovable younger brother could entice me to stay in the room, where the disappointment is palpable and the tension is rife.

I take the stairs two at a time up to my room, where I almost trip over my suitcase. My phone vibrates from the depths of my bag, and I attempt to dig out with one hand while I brush my teeth with the other.

drinks at Zefi for Bella's gdbye bash! be there for 9. love, Alice xoxo

wear your cute black wrap and the red heels. :) see u soon! Xxx

Zefi would not have been my first choice. Firstly, I have way too many bad memories of getting trashed here last summer. Secondly, it's more Ali's scene than mine. Located in preppy Chelsea borderline Knightsbridge, it's the haunt of the likes of Prince Harry and such people. You can't just turn up in jeans and trainers, which I'd like to on my last night in London.

Instead, I'm wearing exactly what Alice told me, a black wrap dress which I have to wear a thong with (and I hate thongs), and five inch red pumps. I'm so uncomfortable I could cry. But there's no going back now – I'm crossing the road already, and I know that even if I made a run for it, Ali would kill me. Apparently there are already around forty of our friends there. Great.

I carefully step up onto the curb, and glance inside. It's ten pm, and the place is jam-packed. The music, chatter and laughter leaks out the door and spills onto the street, taunting me with it's light-heartedness, and making the knot in my stomach tighten. But then I realise a few people have noticed me, and I can't leave. So I kiss James, the bouncer, on the cheek, and slide inside. And I'm surrounded by familiar faces immediately. In fact, a huge cry goes up at my arrival.

"Bella!"

Having heard the general uproar, Ali soon appears before me, squeezing out from between a huge unknown person, and Mike Newton, whose eyes I determinedly avoid. No need to unnecessarily speak to him, unless I want to get dragged into the abyss of how much his girlfriend Lauren is pissing him off.

"B!"

Al throws her arms around me squealing, before pulling pack to grab my hand and lead me towards the bar. We push and squeeze and shove through the sardines towards our destination, avoiding toes as we go.

"Isn't this great?" she babbles excitedly. "So many people turned up, I can't believe it! What do you want?" she asks, as we reach the bar. I'm a little surprised we got here considering how busy it is, but this is the part where few people go, wedged between a pillar and the actual bar where there is only space for very small people, like Alice.

I smile at the bartender, Josh, and ask for a coke.

"What?" Ali screeches. "No, no, no, no! It's your last night, you have to have something exciting. Get her an Espresso Martini," she says to Josh. Her eyes are like saucers, almost comically unbelievable. I can tell she's had a few already, her usual inexhaustible energy is magnified tenfold, and her entire five foot one frame is buzzing perceptibly.

I shake my head and repeat my order for a coke to Josh, who nods at me and goes about getting me a coke.

"No, Al, I'll have something a bit later, right now I just feel kinda full from dinner," I say, smiling reassuringly, hoping to appease her. She frowns but shrugs.

"Okay… Come and say hi to everyone then!"

She leads me over to a table in the back, where a huge crowd of our friends seems to be. As we're approaching, Ali jerks my hand and leans up to whisper in my ear – "By the way, heads up, Jazz is here."

I groan.

"Who invited him?" I moan. Ali shrugs and shakes her head to indicate her ignorance.

Inwardly, I'm again dying to get out of here. If Jazz is here, that makes my last night just a nightmare – the last thing I want to deal with is ex angst. I try to remember the last time he and I had a civil conversation… And come up short.

"Whatever girl, just chill and enjoy!" Al tries, tugging my hand again and thrusting me forward into the table with a flourish.

"Girls and boys, the goodbye girl!" she shouts, and then I'm engulfed in hugs and kisses and hands and arms… Lost to the crowd. Finally I'm seated right in the middle of the general hubbub, and I needn't have worried about the drinks because half a dozen are placed in front of me from all directions. I'm pleased to notice Angie on my right, who squeezes my hand reassuringly, and discreetly rolls her eyes at the palaver. She, of all people, understands my general preference for laidback and chilled. I smile gratefully at her, and kiss her cheek.

"Okay, okay!" Ali shouts, trying to get attention, and ends up standing on one of the stools so she can tower over everyone. Even though our crowd only makes up about half the people here, everyone quiets down to watch and listen to her. She's brilliant tonight, shining more brightly than I can remember, and once again the resentment bubbles up. Her pretty face shining with happiness and excitement, she's full of dynamic before she even begins her speech, and everyone waits with baited breath on words that seem to promise will never be uttered with such brilliance again. "So, tonight, is a very special night. Because even though you all think it's SAD, I'm here to tell you it's NOT! Despite the fact that we're saying goodbye to my very best friend and soul sister, Bella, we're here to celebrate something else as well, something so much better than mourning the fact that she's leaving. We're here to celebrate Bella, because hasn't she been AMAZING?" Hoots and cheers and hollers rise up as she points at me, and I inevitably blush and laugh. "Hasn't she been a beautiful friend to all of us? Haven't we all had a brilliant time with her?" More hoots and cheers, and my blush deepens. Ang rubs my back and leans into me supportively. "So we're celebrating, ten years, of this amazing friendship we've been granted with Bella. And even though we're losing her to the Irish," people start to boo and someone shouts out 'But I'm Irish!' to which everyone laughs, "I'm happy that I've had all this time with her…" And then, through the crowd, I spot him. He looks gorgeous as ever, his blonde locks falling casually about his perfect face, that ever present twinkle in his eye and dimple in his cheek making my heart thump just a little bit more than usual even from here, and even now. He sees me watching him, and his smile falters slightly. I realize mine was never in place to begin with. Then, he raises his glass a little, just to me, and lets the corner of his mouth raise in a small, sad and ironic smile, before he returns his gaze to Alice, and suddenly I'm jerked back to my best friend's speech. "… and I know, she'll be back soon. So, boys and girls, please raise your glasses, and toast to our latest reason for getting drunk," she draws out the word comically as everyone cheers and laughs, "To Bella!"

Everyone raises their glass, and claps, and the noise level reaches a climax. Even more people start crowding around the table, having now realized I'm actually here, to talk and chat and drink, and soon enough I'm swallowed by the inanity.