I dont know what to think of this it does have a pairing which is tom/? youll see why below. Please dont read if you dont like triggers and self harm and stuff. I have a friend whos been through stuff like this and they said it was fine to write about it like thiS. please be respectful about the substory an main story below. Lots of love niamh so as promised.
Point of existence
1.
Tom pov
"Tom you stupid boy!" My mother yelled I dragged myself out of bed and hauled my legs down the stairs. She ,as per usual was sat in the kitchen. Whenever she yelled like that she was not happy. When mama wasn't happy then I was in for it. In at the deep end like when I was 7 and she had a miscarriage she blamed it on me. I see it was my fault somehow but seriously I didn't know anyway I was 7. It got worse when she married Justin. He was a singer with the worse voice ever but he conned my mama into marrying him and now I'm lost. So so lost. Alone with no-one in the world. All because I'm worthless not worth the air I breathe and the erosion of the ground I walk on. If I died today the sun would still rise the wind would still blow and life would carry on. No-one would care not a soul because no-one cares about me. Which is right on their part.
"Yes mama?" I asked as I walked in.
"Have you done ... Yet?" She asked
"Ummmmm mama please I don't want to?" I whispered.
"My dear boy it is not about want! Get up those stairs and do it. The costumer will be waiting. "
Silently, I walked up stairs. I walked into the room, it was a barren hateful room. The costumer looked at me a wicked smile on their face.
After 20 minutes of hell I was allowed to leave i slipped my jumper and blazer on so no-one would see my cuts. The turned my Collar up so no-one could see the bruises my mother had left on me.
I understand why my mother does it. It's because I deserve it, I deserve everything I get. Don't lie I do. I'm a bisexual freak who has nothing but pain in their life because they deserve it. I deserve my beatings, I deserve being bi and i deserve no friends. I slipped my ruck sac on my back and set of to another lonely painful soul-crushing day at Blackfriars high school. What is the point of existence? These things I know I can argue against but the one thing I cannot possible argue against deserving is being forced into prostitutism. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad? Today I was trying something new. I was joining mi-9 in a project called mi-high. Im not the only one joining and apparently they will be new to the school. I hope they're new to the school. I've never been very good at making friends. Maybe for once I will be able to make some friends who don't care. Who show my the point of my existence!
