"Of Oceans and Sunlight"

Rating: T
Universe: Star Trek (Reboot)
Couple(s): Spock Prime/Kirk Prime, SpockxUhura (as it is the Reboot), Kirk/….well..you'll see.
Disclaimer:
• I owneth not Star Trek. There, happy?
• Language and slash. ftw.

Before Story Notes:
This is not going to be a happy story, there will be moments of joy (as is life), but the overall tone of this fic is somber.

-
Chapter 1: "It was a long and dark December "

The glittering stars, nearly a blur through the window of the ship, stretching out as far as I can see…
The light dancing across his gorgeous skin, turning his flesh to a near cream complexion.
He turns toward me, his hazel eyes boring into mine. "Spock….?" But his voice sounds off, there is something wrong.
His arms stretch out toward me, the gold of his eyes liquifying with an unspoken anguish. "Tell me you love me…."
A crash, deafening as much as it is final.
The glass behind him cracks, and with it, his image...

-

I awoke with a start, sitting up much faster than my muscles enable comfortably, noting how long I had until I must be out the door.

Oh, my t'hy'la, the days when I could rise without effort, when my joints ached no more than a child's…

But it is not the time to complain, I must continue with my story.

-

When I left it was raining. An incredibly cold and windy day.
So unlike my home planet, but I could not fathom departing for this mission from anywhere but from that home of ours on Earth, filled with everything you owned and loved. A place that I could never dream of selling…

How illogical you would find I have become, and how you would smile if you could see.

Though, I would be lying...if I said I did not wish every day that you could.

The seats of the shuttlecrafts have grown even more uncomfortable, or perhaps I have grown too old for the journey.

I packed lightly, as I did not plan on returning. I had my credentials, though some would have argued that they are unnecessary, and, of course, I had brought the last gift you gave me.

I wear it constantly, you know…and I watch it often.

I shut my eyes to keep the other passengers to see the 'out-of-place' look in them…the way my once deep eyes must simply reflect sadness.

"Hi~" Said a little girl, no more than six years of age. She was sitting across from me, waving her tiny hand rather sporadically. She appeared to be part Romulan, and I could not help but feel a bit more resolve for my task than I had even a moment prior.
"Hello, miss."

-

How empty space seems now.
And as I guided my tiny ship along it's course, I could not shake the thought that something was not at all right, that even if I were successful I, myself, would not get through this mission.

And I smiled.

My happiness was short lived, however, as I saw the Nova go off and engulf the very planet I had meant to protect…quite possibly filled with the loved ones of that girl I had just seen.
But death…no longer phases me. And sometimes, my love, I wonder if I still feel at all.

I reached for the locket, as I do when I need strength the most, and continue on my mission.
I still had to contain the Nova, and that would hardly be a simple task.

Everything was ready, I was in a rather perilous position but the needs of the…..

I engaged the system, and it worked.
I believe I would have wept with joy, if I had any tears to shed, but of course..
Just as most things in my life have become, a single victory meant so many losses.
The black hole that opened up was stronger than I had anticipated, and the Romulan ship I had not noticed prior was steadily falling inside.

And, of course, mine was as well.

-

Is it possible to tell time…
When there is no time to tell?

If Nero had been in this new Universe for twenty years, then was I in that empty void for those same twenty years?

It mattered not, he was waiting for me, and I barely stood a chance as I was placed onto Delta Vega. There is an irony to that, but I have long since forgotten why.

I wondered, of course, why he would not simply kill me..
But as I gazed up into the sky I saw it.
Vulcan, my beautiful Vulcan, crumbling to dust before my very eyes.

I feel a tightness in my side, and again I reach for you…A bitter smile on my face as I recall how you would have held me now, caressed my face in your hand as you told me that you loved me…and would help however you could.

The wind nipped at my face, and I knew it was time to seek shelter.

It would be cold, it would be painful, and the high snow would prove a challenge…
But so was, and is, my life.

-

I heard it before I saw it, frantic footfalls and the roar of that odd creature I have not yet named.
When I rise it is entirely instinctive, and I wonder now precisely why it was.

I stood before the beast, guarding the person who was sprawled so uselessly on the ground.
The animal-Leon-lilium drakōn*, I have decided-deterred by the fire made a rather hasty retreat.

I sighed in relief before turning toward the man.

And may all that is the Universe help me, it was you.
All at once I was young again, no longer with this head of grey and face of wrinkles, but the man you'd met so…so many years ago.
As I gazed upon that beautiful face my heart soared, I had you again…My sweetest friend. "Jim..how did you find me?"
Your face contorted to that of wariness "How do you know my name?" Of course…
This is not the Jim I had by my side, this one is younger, fresher, I know him of course, but he does not recognize me with…this face. "I am Spock."
His eyebrow raised, or he tried to raise it, much as you did..he took a step back, no doubt confused by my rather brief explanation. "Bullshit."

-

How long had it been, since you and I sat before a fire?
I never dreamed that I would see you again, and to have you close enough to touch…
To touch…

You-He had begun telling me of his Universe, the way that I-my counterpart had marooned him.
He rose, and I followed. Extending my hand to his face…to your face. To explain what had happened, to feel you again, to caress your mind with my own…
He recoiled.

My stomach rolled over, and it felt as though I were being pulled apart. Never, in all the time I had known you, had you ever denied my touch.

I reeled in the emotion that must be showing in my eyes, this was not you…not yet. He did not know me as you did, I did not explain what I had meant to do.
I was so caught up, in the face I knew to be my lovers, that I had forgotten that it was not yet you as I knew you. "A mind meld would be the most efficient way to explain,"

His eyes, which appear different by the firelight in a way I cannot yet place, were cautious still, even as he permitted my fingers to press against his psi-points.
I felt it, and still do now when I close my eyes, the rhythm of your mind, the way it pulses uniquely..even in this strange new world. "My mind…to your mind." I heard his soft gasp at the light intrusion before delving into the cell of his thoughts.
I tried not to wander, to pry, as I showed him the events that led to this dimensions creation but I caught a few fleeting glimpses into the way his life had unfolded. He lost his father, abused at a young age as his mother left for months at a time, spent most of his time in bars and night-clubs…And the shock of the difference made me drop my mental barriers for barely a moment, but he absorbed so much of my hidden emotions. How sad I have been for so very long, how alone I have felt since you left me, and I quickly ended the meld before he could find the source of those feelings. "My apologies. Emotional transference is a side effect of the meld."
He looks up at me in disbelief, gasping, as his eyes watered with grief…my grief, and he walked away, hiding the fact that he was shedding my tears. "So you do feel?"
And I felt it again, the feeling of the floor falling from beneath me, and tightened my fists as an outlet. How had the other me behaved to cause such a callous remark to come from those lips?

-

We walked together through the blizzard in the direction I knew the mining facility to be in, and I continuously fought the impulse to assist him.
I wanted to speak with him, for I knew we were not both going to the same place, but the wind was too harsh…and I did not want to risk him turning down conversation.
"So…you weren't a douchebag in your universe?" He laughed as he said it, and I turned to him to see him smiling at me..though the details of his features were masked by the pummeling snow.
"No," I began, and I felt the corner of my mouth tip up as I said, "I was not."
He threw his head back in a loud, sweet laugh, totally oblivious as he stepped into a hole.
"Crap!" He shouted as he shut his eyes to brace himself for the impact that would never come.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him up with little effort. "Are you alright?"
He stood up straight, brushing off his coat as he looked up at me with that trademark smile. "Yeah, thanks."

-

Of all the people we could have encountered, the fact that it was Scotty made me wonder if I was meant to appear when and as I did.
And soon enough they were standing on the transporter pad, getting ready to beam aboard the Enterprise.
As I explained him what he must do he gave me such a look as you would have, his crystalline blue….blue.
Only now had I noticed, the consistent light from overhead showing me that his eyes were not yours. Were not the chocolate hues I had fallen in love with, but an ocean of it's own. I did not let my shock, nor my disappointment, appear upon my face.
But when the spirals of light engulfed his body, and the last of his 'well, here we go' grin faded away. I allotted myself a small sad smile.

Even when I have you, the universe does all it can to take you away again.
How small a detail, the color of one's eyes, and yet I cannot discard the pain I feel to know that no matter how much like you he becomes, he will never ever be you.

And how terrible is it, my beloved, that I love him still?

To Be Continued…

-
"It was a long and dark December
From the rooftops I remember
There was snow, white snow"

- 'Violet Hill' by Coldplay

A/N:
*Leon-lilium Drakōn is Latin for Lion-lily Dragon, which, in my opinion, suits that thing just fine. I probably butchered the hell out of scientific naming, so if anyone knows how to do that properly, just drop me a line xD

Each chapter is going to have it's own song, ftr...