A/N: This is officially our first FF!
After reading loads of fanfiction we decided it was about time we wrote our very own.
We're trying not to make it too Sirius
Review?
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We hope Everyone enjoys this.
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-EATEN CROSSIANT
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by mermaidzarereal
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CHAPTER 1 : A BIT TOO FLAKY
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"Potter! Potter? BOY!" Professor McGonagall yells out from the front of the classroom in a voice that is stern,yet worried.
"Ha-H-Harry?" Ron nervously whispers to Harry as he jabs him repeatedly with his elbow. "Wake up!"
Harry doesn't budge and is still sitting down with the right side of his face lying on the table. He would've actually looked relaxed and peaceful if it wasn't for the glazed-over look in his emerald eyes.
"Oh c'mon Harry." Ron continues as he now tries to violently shake the boy.
Hermoine, unable to control herself, gets off her seat and makes her way across the dimly-lit classroom to help Harry. "Out of the way,Ron" she says as she gently pushes Ron away and takes a seat next to Harry. Ron, being left without a seat, is forced to awkwardly stand behind the two. He crosses his arms and looks around the room and nods his head towards a few of the other students, resembling a bodyguard. An awkward one.
Meanwhile, Hermoine has pushed back Harry's hair with the back of her hand and has reached for her wand. She quickly mutters a spell under her breath and barely raises her wand. Secretly laughing to herself at such a strange and arguablly sexual situtation, she sticks the tip of her wand into Harry's mouth and patiently waits while the wand takes Harry's temperature.
"Oi!" A random Hufflepuff yells out,"My mum always said that if you really want an accurate temperature reading you should just stick the wand right the sun don't shin-"
"Ehem!" Professor McGonagall butts in,shooting the young Hufflepuff a look that says "if you don't shut it, i'll stick my wand...well, you know".
"So what's wrong with im' Hemoine?" Ron loudly blurts out, breaking the momentary silence.
Her neat and trimmed eyebrows are pulled together in a knitt as she scans Harry's entire face, looking for signs of sickness.
"I-I don't...I'm not certain, but I don't believe there's anything wrong with him." She looks up with worry in her eyes.
"Always correct, aren't you Miss Granger?"
Ron, Hermoine, and most of the class look up towards the front of the classroom to see Snape standing calmly near McGonagall. Most of the students were so catch up in the drama that was unfolding that they hardly noticed that McGonagell had sent Neville out to summon Professor Snape.
"Well he seems fine" Hermoine nervously answers "but that can't be possibly be true,unless..."
"Yes? Unless what, Miss Granger?" Snape drawls as he strides towards Hermoine,who slowly backs away from the lifeless Harry.
"Unless he's only pretending to be ill. But I don't understand why he would do such a thing."
"He's just like his father." Snape snaps. "A fake. And it's obvious that- Out of the WAY Weasley!" He shoves Ron aside and then continues. "Obvious that Mr. Potter is wanting a bit of attention." He slightly tilts his head to get a better look at Harry.
"Nah. He probably drank some wine or somethin'" Luna calls out matter-o-factly. Hearing Luna talk back like this seems to give the students permission to start bursting out with their own comments.
"He drinks?" Dean Thomas yells aross the room to nobody in particular
"No not much. Harry's not a real heavy drinker", Hermoine pipes in.
"What? Harry's a real carefree wanker?" Neville yells back from the very front row
"Isn't he like 17, though?" Dean yells again to nobody in particular
"Ya I don't think he's old enough to be drinkin-" Hannah Abbot answers
"No no. Harry's 18... Or wait 19?" Luna's talking to herself now
"Might've had an ugly fall off a broomstick is what I think" A random Gryffindor calls out
"Or maybe he just took a real nasty potion!" Seamus chimes in "Ya know, like the ones Fred and George whip up"
"I'd believe that!" Ron joins in, nodding his head vigorously.
"For Merlin's sake, Ron, shut it!" Professor McGonagall calls out using the same stern voice that she used before, except without the worry. This shuts Ron up for good although he looks dumbfounded and as if he was just slapped in the head with a large tuna.
"Enough with the dramatics Potter. Get up." And with that Harry got up and walked right out of the classroom.
I hope that wasn't too painful for you guys.
We're gonna start writing the rest, so feedback,suggestions,& criticisms are welcome.
Also, we might rename this chapter...any suggestions?
(maybe something crossiant related)
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