Disclaimer: If Fringe were mine, there'd be a lot more lovin' and less science... just sayin'. (see profile for a REAL disclaimer)
A/N: Written for mini_nanowrimo over on LJ, day number five! Also, requested by the LJ user ladyvictory roughly a year ago. I'm sorry it's so freaking late, hun! :(
Olivia felt ashamed. Weak for needing someone so desperately, especially when she was almost certain that she was going to regret it in the morning. But she couldn't go home now, not with her sister and Ella there. She didn't want to scare them. And while she knew that Peter would understand and comfort her without question, she just couldn't find it in herself to forgive Walter for what he did to her as a child. Going anywhere near the Bishops tonight would almost certainly end in disaster.
You see, Olivia was still on edge after her encounter with Nick Lane. She felt dirty and used and betrayed. But mostly? She was afraid. Afraid of herself, of what her own body was capable of- what Olive was capable of...
It had taken feeling hard wood under the rap of her knuckles to snap Olivia out of daze, for her to realize where she was and what she was doing. She was soaking wet and shaking with exhaustion, dripping on the welcome mat in the outer hallway of Agent Farnsworth's apartment building. Only having a vague recollection of walking through the rain aimlessly until nightfall and then collapsing into the back of the first cab that pulled up along side her without prompting.
She was surprised at how easily the younger agent's address had slipped from the recesses of her brain, how safe it had made her feel to lean her head back against the back of the seat and watch as the city lights blurred past her window. Sure, they were friends, it was hard not to be in their line of work. But, she'd known where Astrid lived for months now and not once had she stopped by to visit. So, why now? Why tonight? Why her?
"Olivia?"
Blinking heavily, Astrid's form slowly came into focus in front of her. She felt a fleeting smile flicker across her lips. The other woman may have been a bit groggy and confused, but she found the sight of her clad plaid pajamas and fluffy, purple robe to be a bit more endearing than she probably should have.
"Can I, uh- can I come in?"
Astrid's eyes widened, immediately stepping back to allow her inside, "Of course, please come in! Is everything alright?"
Stepping through the threshold, she studied the apartment carefully- it was modern and homey, much more personal and inviting than her own apartment had ever been. The furniture itself was neutral in color, accented with lightly stained wood and glass, but the brightly colored throw pillows and quilts were what really tied everything all together. It was playful, but tasteful at the same time. She found that it matched Astrid's personality to a tee.
"Olivia?" a small hand slid down her bicep, stopping and squeezing just above her elbow, "What's wrong?"
She could feel her body trembling, a traitor, helpless against such a comforting touch. She tried to fight it, biting her bottom lip until she was afraid it would bleed, but like most things in her life lately, it seemed as though nothing was going to stop it. Quickly, she dropped her gaze to the floor, long lashes fluttered shut just as two hot tears slipped down her cheeks.
It was embarrassing. Her head tilted hastily to the side, a sheet of golden hair covering her face, mortified that she would be seen. But, it was too late, Astrid was already tugging her into her arms, and she found herself leaning into the contact like an attention starved kitten too skittish to know what it really wanted.
"Hey," Astrid whispered, balancing on the balls of her feet, a palm soothing lazy circles against her lower back, "it's gonna be alright. I've got you. You're safe here, Olivia."
Apparently, that was all the encouragement she needed for the floodgates to open. Olivia returned the embrace, finally allowing herself to give in, fists desperately gripping the back of Astrid's robe. She shivered, sobbing as she attempted to process everything that had happened in the last few days- the dreams, thinking she'd killed those people, the terror she'd felt, and by far the most horrifying of them all, the truth. She was going to have to come to terms with her past, the fact that she was one of them, one of the freaky and weird people that they arrested every day. There was nothing that she could do about it.
The next thing she knew, Astrid was leading her toward the back of the apartment and into a cozy little bedroom.
"Do you trust me, Olivia?"
She took and deep breath and lifted her gaze, contemplating the question for only a moment when she saw the other woman's worried expression, "Of course."
"Good," Astrid smiled warmly, "Now stay right there, I'll be back in a second, alright?"
Olivia nodded, her tears finally slowing to a stop as she listened to her shuffling gait move about the apartment. Astrid reappeared about a minute later, holding an old sweatshirt and some women's drawstring pants that looked far too big for her tiny body. A light eyebrow rose in question, but she remained quiet, instead choosing to observe as the younger agent closed the distance between them and slid the dark blazer off of her shoulders.
Her breath hitched, "Astrid-"
Soft eyes looked up at her, stopping her protest in its tracks, "You said you trusted me, right?"
Sighing, Olivia nodded once again and reached down, removing the badge and holster from her waist before wrapping them both carefully in Astrid's steady hands. From there, her movements were precise and professional, dainty fingers tugging the tails of her dress shirt free. Buttons and zippers were undone, shirt and slacks folded and set onto the Victorian looking chair in the corner with care.
When Astrid turned back, the sweatshirt was already in her hands and it was gently being pulled over her head. Olivia closed her eyes, the material tickling her stomach as one of Astrid's palms pressed carefully against her hip, the other reaching around her back just long enough to unclasped her black bra and wiggle one of the straps until it fell off. When she opened her eyes again a few seconds later, all she saw was a mass of dark curly hair bowed in front of her and there was a small hand on her calf, lifting her leg until she got the hint and stepped into comfortable looking pants.
With her wardrobe finally in place, Astrid met her gaze reassuringly, taking her hand as she led her over to the bed. She was guided down onto the edge of the mattress and the younger woman crawled behind her, reaching under the collar of her shirt until the long mane of hair had been pulled free. Olivia almost purred once she felt a brush being dragged through it. Sitting there contently, mind blessedly blank for the first time in ages, the repetitive motion lulling her into a relaxed state.
"Olivia?"
"Hmm?"
The brush disappeared, all of the tangles gone, and it had been replaced by fingers dancing across her scalp, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Olivia tensed, her blood running cold. Did she want to talk about it? Definitely not. She couldn't, not yet.
"Uh, maybe later," she conceded, hoping desperately that Astrid would leave it be for now.
She did.
"Alright," the fingers dwindled their movement to a stop and the sound of blankets rustling behind her caught her attention, "Why don't you lay down, then. You look like you're about to pass out... and I don't think I'd be able to manhandle you under the covers if you did."
She smirked, her muscles burning with exhaustion as she scooted toward the headboard, collapsing as soon as she slid between the sheets.
"I'll be out on the couch if you need me, okay?"
The bed shifted next to her and Olivia's eyes popped open, catching Astrid's wrist just as the room plunged into partial darkness. Their eyes met, one set questioning and non-judgmental, the other timid, almost scared. Olivia took a deep, calming breath, not liking that she felt so needy. But, she'd already stepped out of the box a handful of times that night, so why not once more? Something had made her reach out, and she decided it was easier to just not fight it anymore.
"Stay?"
Without saying a word Astrid didn't hesitate. She squeezed her hand and crawled in next to her, laying on her side, close enough for her chin to rest against the outer edge of Olivia's shoulder, cuddling her arm as if it were a teddy bear. It was cute.
"Astrid?"
She shifted, yawning sleepily, "Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," she smacked her lips, wriggling around one last time before sighing softly, "Now close your eyes and go to sleep."
Olivia smiled, watching headlights from the street below dance across the ceiling as she listened to Astrid's breathing slow and even out. Just before dawn, she would slip out of bed and leave her a note on top of the dresser across the room. She would change out of her borrowed clothes and pause in the hallway on her way out, grinning to herself when she saw that her assumptions were correct, admiring the framed photos of Astrid and slightly taller, blond woman in different levels of embrace.
But, for now, this is exactly what she needed. Touch, care, and safety. A few hours of uninterrupted rest- no nightmares or cold sweats.
Her eyes fluttered shut. All she had to do, was sleep.
End.
