Gaara stood inside his sand shell, waiting, glaring at the hole in it. Why wouldn't they just shut the hell up?! God… As if the stupid blond –hot, too- kid up in the stands wasn't enough… Damn, if that kid didn't shut up, the Sabaku was going to go up and rape the stupid Kyuubi Gaki for all he was worth… In front of the Uchiha… See how that went.

'Ah, Uchi-Kun is cute, huh?' Chibi-Gaara, whose gender was still being researched thoroughly by Shukaku in any way possible, squealed. Gaara's eyes went heavenward, wondering why he was cursed with 'Shuka-Kun' and 'Chibi-Gaki'. It was painful. It was hell. The worst form of torture.

'Dude, he looks livid, like he's going to fuck us into oblivion,' Shukaku commented.

'Now that would be nice,' Chibi-Gaara said. 'Ne, Gaa-Chan?'

Gaara clasped his hands together in a praying motion. 'Dearest Mother in heaven, whatever I have done to offend you, please send it to me via e-mail and I shall try to repent.'

Shukaku and Chibi exchanged concerned looks. 'Eh, Gaa-Chan…'

'Shut up, I'm not done!' Gaara's mental voice was hysterical. Mental breakdown. "Also, dear Mother, if you find it in your power, can you somehow put me in a situation where I can take full advantage of Naruto Uzumaki-Kun, preferably while he's drunk so he won't remember a thing?'

Chibi's exclamation that followed was extremely offended. 'NOOOOOO! Shuka-Kun, you've done horrible things to Gaa-Chan! NOOO! Papa's baby is gone! Papa's Gaa-Chan has gone to the dark side!'

Gaara's eyes shot open as did Shukaku's. 'Holy crap, you're a GUY, Chibi?'

Chibi-Gaara huffed. 'Yes, Papa i- AAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE!'

'AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!'

Gaara stumbled in his shell as something went through his shoulder. The sand around him crumbled down to dust and Gaara's eyes were wild. 'Chibi… Ngh… Give me your… AH! Blood…'

Chibi, however, went on mental breakdown, pushing Gaara to mentally break down as well.

'BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD!!'

Gaara paled and his eyes went heavenward. 'Dearest Mother in heaven…"