Alterac-ations.
By A Stevenson
Vespia shrugged off the last of the Alterac snow and pulled her robes in close. Her long pale ears bent slightly in the cold and her fiery auburn hair, usually so well kept, hung in limp strands upon icy cheeks. Her magic had kept her insides warm but her slender frame shivered in the chill nonetheless. She rubbed her hands, whispering a few small words into them and several seething sparks spat from her fingertips. The blizzard had been short, dissipating as quickly as it started but up high in the old ruins of Alterac the winds never relented.
Vespia sighed and blinked free one or two final droplets of snow. Pale green eyes flickered along the wide valley road leading down to the old gates of Alterac, now hanging limp and broken amidst crumbling walls and rotten trees. Tall white hills flanked both her sides, the domain of cave yetis and mountain lions, and behind her, the way she had come, the long, cold trail back to Tarren Mill wound its way down the mountainside.
She sniffed. 'I can't see any of the Crushridge. Do you think they're clever enough to run from the cold?' She turned, a dry smile on her lips, and raised her eyebrows at her minion.
The succubus smirked. 'Oh, honey. Come on now. Do you really care what I think?' Its cloven hooves pawed softly at some loose dirt beneath the drift. ''Cos that'd be a first.'
Vespia turned away, her smile fading. 'No. I suppose I don't. Go and look.'
'Alone?' The tone was more playful than frightened.
'Yes. Alone.' The succubus didn't move. 'I command it, demon!'
'As you say, Miss Bossy-boots.'
The succubus sauntered past, flicking its tail provocatively, and scrutinising its nails for the thousandth time. The paint was bright and garish, and Vespia found the whole act tiresome. Wouldn't another of her demon minions would be more suited to this particular task? The large blueberry-coloured voidwalker perhaps, or her tentacled fel-hound? Both obeyed more readily and gave annoying backchat less frequently.
'I won't be long, sugar. Try not to miss me.' The demon spun, giggling seductively, and vanished, the air around it shimmering like frosted glass.
Vespia rubbed her crinkled brow and puffed out another sigh. She watched as fresh hoof prints appeared in the snow, tracks made by the now invisible demon. No, if there were any of the Crushridge-clan left in these old ruins then the succubus was the right demon for the job. Vapid fawning and relentless flirting were small prices to pay for a quest safely completed and no ogre - no man, troll nor elf for that matter - Vespia had ever encountered could withstand the 'charms' of a succubus. She gave a wry smile. In little over an hour she'd be on her way back to town, where she could hand over her silver to Innkeeper Shay for a nice Southshore Stout and a good night's sleep. Tomorrow would bring new places, new faces. New endeavours.
And it was all becoming very boring.
'Another pointless task from another witless fool. What I wouldn't give to be back home in Silvermoon; to touch the fel-crystals of The Sanctum, to feed off their energies again. The world outside of Quel'thalas is so much less…'
'Well, well, well.' Her succubus re-materialised in front of her and sparkled momentarily. 'Honey, have you finally gone mad?' The demon winked and slid its tongue over thick purple lips slowly. 'Can't blame you. It was bound to happen sooner or later, I suppose. I have that effect on people.'
Vespia shook her head, confused. 'You were quick. What happened?'
Her minion gave a little yawn and stretched. 'The ogres are all dead, sweety-pie.' The succubus purred with a voice like honey dripping from a dipper. Vespia ignored it.
'Dead? In what manner?'
The succubus shrugged languidly, her lips curling at the corners.
Vespia gave an exasperated sigh. 'I really can't be bothered for this.' She reached out and grabbed the demon's wrist, her long fingers digging into soft pink flesh below dark-patterned bracers. 'Tell me what you saw, sayaad, or I shall send you back to the Twisting Nether. Permanently.'
'Oh, okay then. You big ol' spoilsport, you.' Vespia loosened her grip and her minion shook itself free. 'You really don't play fair, darlin'.'
'The ogres. Now.'
'Well,' the succubus dragged out the word for an excessive length of time. 'I didn't see much really…'
Vespia's eyes flared, the pale green intensifying to a bright emerald.
'That is to say, I didn't see exactly how they died, sugar. Although I have a pretty good idea what killed them.'
'And?'
'Or rather, who.' The succubus tittered.
'Blessed Sunwell, give me strength…'
'Oh, lighten up, sister.' The demon planted two hands on hips and rolled its eyes. 'There's a little gnome running around. A frost-mage, it seems. He's adorable. I was tempted to introduce myself but, of course, I couldn't.' Her minion's expression took on a playful but sullen note.
'A gnome? That's it?'
'Mm-hmm, just one itty-bitty gnome. All alone in this nasty, cold place.'
Vespia smiled. 'Good. Come on, then. You said you wanted to introduce yourself. Now's the chance. One ridiculous gnome is no match for a warlock of the sin'dorei. And for behaving, sort of, I'll let you have some fun with him first.'
The succubus licked its lips again. 'Yummy. You do know how to have fun, after all. Sugar.'
Snuggled firmly between the cold stone of the guard tower and the thick, rotting timber frame of the gates, Vespia could see, quite clearly, that her minion had not been exaggerating the truth. The ogres were dead, every last one of them. Their giant fleshy bodies, scantily clad, lay crumpled and frozen in the soft snow; broken staves and splintered axes sticking out of the ground nearby like makeshift grave markers. The creature responsible certainly possessed some skill, Vespia supposed reluctantly.
She narrowed her eyes. 'This could be interesting.' She turned to the succubus. 'Do you see him anywhere? I know gnomes are small but they're not known for subtly.'
The demon slid past its mistress, being sure to rub exposed thigh flesh against the thick dark wool of Vespia's robes. It took a careful peep from behind the stone. 'He was by the old church, or what's left of it, when I saw him. Glorious little thing, shooting frostbolts and lances of ice. Those brutes never stood a chance. You sure you're up for this, honey? You know what they say about size?'
Vespia pushed past her minion and the demon staggered back, chuckling.
'Watch it, darlin'.'
'You watch it!' She surveyed the scene again, scanning everything twice. Ruins, ruins, ogre bodies, ruins, more ogres. 'Agh. Where is the little wretch?' She turned, her nose crinkled, finger raised and pointing at the succubus. 'Don't you ever question me again, sayaad. One gnome? Against me? And a mage, at that. Mages are just a poor man's warlock, every apprentice in Silvermoon knows that. They possess no spell that I am unable to counter.'
The succubus smirked and Vespia's puffed out chest deflated a little.
'Granted, the little goblin is good, to take on the Crushridge, but I've been waiting for a challenge.'
'He's not a goblin, sugar.'
'Pft, goblins, gnomes. Skin colour. That's the only difference. And ear shape.'
'Um, one is your ally, and the other is not.'
'Yes, yes. That too.' Vespia waved a hand impatiently and snuck another glance. 'Either way, I can't see anything-…' She paused, and shushed the demon. 'Oh! Oh, wait. I see him. Come, have a look.' The succubus slid between its mistress and the guard tower.
Emerging from the crooked entrance of Alterac's ancient watch tower, some way to the northeast, a small, wiry humanoid came scurrying into view. His over-sized nose stuck out above a thick crop of white hair lining his upper lip, although much of the rest of his face was hidden behind a large beard and a pair of ridiculous gnomish goggles and flanked by ears the size of saucers. The pouches and pockets adorning his belt jingled and clattered as he ran, and the long blue and gold robes he wore flapped dangerously about his feet.
'What ugly creatures gnomes are,' Vespia remarked.
'Oh, you're just jealous, surely! They're super adorable.'
Vespia snorted. 'What's he running from?'
As if in answer, the most gargantuan ogre Vespia had ever clasped eyes upon burst forth from the watch tower, flinging huge grey slabs of stone and concrete this way and that and roared after the gnome.
The succubus very nearly swooned. 'My, my. What a big boy he is. Let's kill the gnome, Vessy, I want to play with this new hunk instead.'
Vespia raised an eyebrow and gave a considered tilt of the head. 'I suppose ugly is a relative term when describing ogres. But let's see what happens.'
The ogre's great tree trunk legs moved slowly but the great size of the beast meant he was making ground on the diminutive gnome, whose own tiny legs went into overdrive. Vespia couldn't suppress a cruel chuckle. You can only waddle so fast, after all. Her minion, acutely thrilled by all the shenanigans, laughed with her.
The gnome stopped and spun to face his enemy. His chest was heaving but he raised one bizarrely large hand and jumped once on the spot.
'Halt, ogre!' he squeaked. He spoke Common and both Vespia and her minion understood perfectly. Amazingly, the foolish, brutish ogre actually stopped in its tracks. Dumbfounded, it gave the thick pale flesh its head a quick scratch. 'Look around you,' the gnome continued, gesturing at the decaying rubble that had once made up the ancient kingdom of Alterac. Ogre bodies lay strewn here and there amidst the ruins and relics. 'Witness the terrible power of Hob the Magnificent! Step no further, ogre lord, or share the fate of the rest of your clan.'
They were close now, both closer than Vespia would have liked. If it came down to a three way fight she still fancied her chances, but the going would be tough and it was a test she didn't care to face. Her minion shuddered thickly.
It took a moment or two for the ogre to realise what the gnome, brash and silly as he was, had meant. And then, with a long hard look at the cold blue corpses of his companions he let loose the most ferocious bellow, the sound of which shook free trapped snow and broken struts and beams.
'ME SMASH GNOME!' were the only words Vespia could ascertain from the clamour, though they were enough to garner meaning.
It roared once more, beating its chest and then, raising one arm and holding a giant iron mace the size of a boulder, charged at the gnome.
'I warned you!' he cried. Hopping back only a step, the gnome spread his stubby little arms and began muttering some incantation. About his hands and wrists a thin veil of crisp snow began to form, drifting and shivering around his waggling fingertips which were quickly turning blue. A shimmering ball of ice coalesced, spinning and growing in size as each tiny millisecond passed.
'Eat frosticles!' The gnome pushed and the icebolt shot at the ogre with surprising speed, slamming into its great gut with a dull thud. An audible oof escaped fat lips and the stupefied oaf slowed its advance considerably. Another icebolt followed, and then another, and before the ogre could so much as turn tail and run, it lay dead and frozen on the ground, not five metres from where the gnome stood. He gave a little sigh and clapped clean his hands, then toddled over to his fallen foe and began rummaging through its pockets and purses.
Vespia eyed him suspiciously. 'What's he looking for, do you wonder?'
The show now over, her succubus minion stepped back disappointed. It sighed. 'I don't know babe. The same thing you are, maybe?'
Vespia gasped. In all the excitement she had completely forgotten what the purpose of her trip to these old ruins was - to reclaim the Crown of Will. A pointless task, she had called it. It probably was, but someone else searching for it made it all the more interesting. And a gnome, a member of the hated Alliance, made it more exciting yet.
'I'm going to kill him now, while he's squatting over that pile of flab and rags.' She took a deep breath.
'Wait, what?' The succubus made to grab Vespia's shoulder but thought better of it. 'But, come on! Honey! You said I could have my fun first.'
Vespia groaned. 'Fine! Go on then. Hop to it, demon. Let's see what your kind is really made of.'
The succubus sneered and flounced by, shimmering into invisibility. 'Sugar, you have no idea.'
Vespia waited patiently, gathering all the spells of her ilk to the fore. A warlock of her calibre was more than a match for a mere frostmage, but she was taking no chances. She recited one or two powerful spells beneath her breath as she watched the gnome from the shadows. He was stuffing some bauble or trinket into one of his pouches when her demon materialised behind him.
'Howdy, sugar,' Vespia heard it say.
The gnome spun round. 'Who goes there?!' he demanded, arms raised. He dropped them almost immediately, chuckling. 'Oh. Not much!'
'Now, now. Play nice, ikkle gnome-y. You know what I am?'
'Of course I do!' His high-pitched voice was nauseating. 'Where is your Master? Too scared to face the mighty Hob, eh?'
'Oh, she's about, honey. But all in good time.' The succubus stretched back, one small hand bringing a long black whip to bear, a weapon from the nether. The gnome chortled shortly. As the succubus stepped in, whip held high above its horned demon head, the spell of seduction upon its lips, the gnome cast his own spell. The transformation was incredibly quick, and where once a succubus stood, the minion of a powerful warlock, ready and armed, there now stood a small sheep, staggering and dazed. After a moment or two it collapsed into the snow and fell soundly asleep.
Vespia rolled her eyes. 'For the love of…'
'Heh, heh! Come, come warlock! Come save your pet, your sheep-y!'
She stepped out from her hidey hole. 'Keep it.' She spoke perfect Common. 'The demon means very little to me.'
The gnome shuffled back. 'Typical warlock hubris.'
'Hubris? Ha! My kind are the sin'dorei. We are practically gods.' Her hands began to glow, her flesh began to warm. 'And we warlocks are the gods amongst the gods!' Flames licked at the cuffs of her sleeves as her fingers became engulfed. She readied her magic.
'Bring it!' the gnome squealed.
Vespia lunged at him, firing off vast waves of green flame, her beautiful face twisted in rage. The gnome managed to block the assault with a hastily made barrier of pure ice.
'The fel magic of your loathsome kind is no match for a mage of Gnomeregan!' He pulled at the air, summoning a water elemental from Neptulon's plane which immediately began hurling jets of icy water at its foe. Vespia blocked the initial barrage with a quick magic ward but, recognising the threat, took a moment to cast a bolt of pure chaos. It roared through the crisp winter air and hit the elemental with a satisfying squelch. The elemental burst into a fountain of clear water, pooling and then freezing on the icy ground. It did not re-emerge.
'Is that it, gnome? Is that all you can muster?'
She flared and threw a quick volley of tiny sparks at her enemy, who did his best to deflect them with a few haphazard gestures. Most of the sparks froze and died, spinning to the ground with a gentle tinkle but one hit its mark and instantly set the gnome ablaze. He shrieked and flailed for a moment before gathering his wits - his spell extinguished the flames and encased him completely in a block of deep blue ice.
Vespia cursed, lobbing one final ball of fire at the gnome, whose shield absorbed it fully. 'You can't hide in there forever, you ugly little beast!'
The shield dropped and the gnome charged her, taking her by surprise.
'I didn't intend to,' he sang, blasting her with a wide cone of freezing air. Stunned by the voraciousness of the attack, she was able to only partly block it. Her limbs stiffened, her movement slowed and the very vapour within her lungs began to freeze. The gnome began casting frostbolts freely, pounding her like a wrecking ball. Enraged, the fire within her began to blaze. The ice at her joints melted, the frost nova evaporating into steam. With a scream, she let loose a raging inferno that rippled through ground and air, melting and burning all in its path. The gnome blocked the flames but the force of the explosion knocked him back. She spun to face him, readying the spell of fear but the gnome teleported away, reappearing some twenty yards away. He waved at her and began one final invocation. She raced towards him, bolstering her magic, preparing the killing blow.
'It's been fun,' the gnome chirped and vanished. A low thrum resonated in the air, echoing into nothingness.
Vespia stood, motionless, taking time to compose herself. Her fingers burned, her eyes seethed.
A familiar, grating voice sliced through the silence. 'What happened, honey?'
Vespia groaned.
