a/n: life has been so crazy with everything, this is literally the first time I've had the chance to sit down and write, and honestly I really even shouldn't be writing right now. However, I'm stressed beyond belief thanks to work, my family, my hubby and basically just life I need a break. I need to disappear into the world of Delena and I figured that since it's been so long since I've posted you all wouldn't mind disappearing with me. Happy Reading!

p.s. this is set before all the VampElena stuff. Let's say...before Elena loses her vervain necklace for good? It doesn't really matter to badly when the 'real time' scene is set for this is slightly AU as it is…but come on, can you honestly say that Damon never at least considered taking Elena and then making her forget it? Hmm…I don't know for sure, but I think he would have at least had the thought.

This may contain some ideals that won't sit well with everyone, but the idea would not just leave me along so I had to put it down on 'paper'.


FORGET ME NOT

Damon watched Elena's eyes close as he lay her back gently against the pillows. Moonlight shone in through the windows, cascading over her naked body in a spotlight that made her skin glow like porcelain. He'd promised himself he would not do it again, that he would come clean and tell her everything. Tell her what he'd been doing this entire time. Really, he was surprised that she had not figured it out for herself. It had been almost two years now, and she still acted like nothing had gone on, but then again…that's what he'd wanted…wasn't it? With a sigh he pulled away and slid off the mattress. He watched her chest rise and fall, watched the small smile pull her lips up as she slept. Then he tugged his jeans on and slipped his arms through the sleeves of his shirt.

Carefully, quietly he moved over to her side of the bed and looked down at the vervain necklace where it sat on the ledge. The tiny red jewel winked at him in the moonlight, almost snickering. It knew that what had just happened between them meant nothing. He glared at it, before realizing it was an inanimate object that could neither wink or judge. With gentle movements he knelt next to Elena and fastened the necklace back around her neck. In the morning, none of this would mean anything, for in her world, nothing had even happened. Damon smoothed the sheet up over her breasts, tucking her in and with a shuddering breath he bent to kiss her forehead. Then he was gone.


The first time Damon compelled Elena to forget their lovemaking was the night they discovered Katherine was not in the tomb. He'd been drunk, distraught, depressed and he'd simply needed someone. She'd been there, she'd pulled him out of the tomb, she'd held him while he was in shock and she'd been sure he'd gotten home safe. He'd wanted to thank her, to see her, to feel her arms around him again…so he'd gone to her house. He'd climbed through her window and heard the water running for her shower. He considered going in there, his drunk mind trying to talk him into sliding under the water with her, taking her, pretending she was Katherine. But he didn't. He couldn't. Instead he did something much, much worse.

Upon seeing her necklace on the dresser, a twisted plan formed in his twisted mind. She was without the protection she so craved, she needed. When she got out of that shower she would be at his mercy and he would make damn sure she would not be able to put that necklace on. A few minutes later, the water shut off and Elena came out, with something he considered could probably be excused for a towel. Her hair hung down her back in damp curls, her face was clean and flushed from the water. She was humming in the back of her throat, the unfamiliar melody stopping short when she saw him. Her eyes widened in fear, in embarrassment and she clutched the towel tighter to her chest.

"What are you doing here?"

"I…just…I didn't want to be alone."

Her shoulders relaxed slightly but her eyes were still guarded. "Do you need to talk?"

"No," He shook his head, pushing himself up from the window seat and moving toward her. She took a step away, her back meeting the wall. He could hear her heart thumping loudly in her chest. "I don't want to talk."

He saw her eyes dart to her necklace, far too out of reach to even try and grab for it. "Damon, don't do anything stupid."

"Is that what Katherine thinks I am? Stupid?" his voice was louder now, the venom he felt from her lies and deceit filtering into it. It was hardly fair to take out his frustrations on Elena, but the haze of bourbon in his brain made it easier not to care. "I searched and fought for over a hundred years, and for nothing!"

"I know." Her tone was soft, trying to counteract his anger as best she could. She pressed her palms to his chest gently, whether it was to comfort him or keep his distance he wasn't sure. "We'll figure it out Damon. We will."

"I don't want to figure it out." He admitted, pressing his forehead to hers. Her nose scrunched a little from the smell of his breath. He'd drunk nearly two bottles. "I just want to forget. Help me forget."

Then his lips were on hers and he was holding her close. She kissed back at first, from shock, from wanting to comfort him. Then realization hit her like a truck and she stumbled back against the wall. The towel fell to the floor around her feet and she gasped, covering her breasts with her arms. "Damon, stop."

"No." he shook his head and grabbed her again. "I won't stop, and you don't want me to."

"Yes I do. You're drunk, you're not thinking clearly. Damon, I care about you but this isn't the way."

"This is the only way." He captured her eyes in his, his hands tense on her shoulders. "I'm going to make love to you Elena, and you're going to let me. I won't hurt you, I promise." The power of his compulsion slid around her mind and held it. She belonged to him, and if he wanted he could make her do anything he wanted. "I'm sorry."

Before the clouds disappeared from her eyes, he was kissing her again. This time when she kissed back, she didn't stop. She didn't push him away. She responded and she moved with him, shedding his clothes from his body as quickly as her fingers could move. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized he'd only compelled her to be submissive, yet here she was helping, joining in, being a part of it all. Then the lust and anger and the desperation to be close to someone took over and he was simply lost in her, as she was in him.

When it was all over, he'd sobered up. The pain he'd felt in his heart only deepened as she cried silently next to him on the bed. "What have I done?" she murmured to herself, her face buried in the pillow.

"You didn't do anything." He kept his gaze locked on the ceiling. He couldn't look at her like this. Couldn't see the hatred and the despair in her eyes. "It's all my fault."

"I'll never be able to look at Stefan again. He'll never forgive me. I can't lie to him Damon. I can't."

"You don't have to." He said quietly, almost whispered it.

Slowly she lifted her face from the pillow, tears staining her cheeks in streaks. Minutes ago that face had been twisted in pleasure, she'd been moaning in ecstasy beneath him. Now she looked like she wanted to die. "What do you mean?"

"I can make you forget. I can take the pain away, the memory away. I can make it so that tonight never happened…"

She pushed up on her elbow and looked down at him. "You would do that?"

"I don't mind if you hate me Elena, but I can't stand you hating yourself." He sat up, pulling her with him. Cradling her face in his hands he held her close and kissed her one last time. As their eyes connected he took control of her mind. "You will not remember me coming here tonight. You got out of the shower and went to bed. You were too tired to even get dressed. In the morning you will have slept deeply. Your mind will be blank because you were so tired. You will not remember anything after getting out of the shower."

"I won't remember." She murmured and he felt her relax in his arms.


Over the course of the next few months, Damon gave into the desire he felt for her a few more times. Occasionally, Elena reacted differently. Once, he didn't even have to compel her into bed. She went willingly. It had been one of the nights after Stefan had left town. She'd shown up at the Boarding House, crying and lonely. Just as Damon had felt betrayed by Katherine, Elena felt betrayed by Stefan. They'd both been abandoned by the people that were supposed to love them, and she had finally realized that the only constant in her life was Damon. The pull between them was intense, even harder to ignore than it had been in the beginning. She'd hoped that after a time her desire for him would lessen, but it only seemed to get worse. Every day. Her body responded to him in ways she found shocking, ways it had never responded to anyone before.

A quick, almost innocent touch set her blood on fire, her body aching and she wondered what was wrong with her. Her dreams had been full of images of Damon loving her, teasing her, touching her. They had felt real, they had felt incredible and each time she woke up finding herself hoping, if only for a split second, that it had been real. When Stefan had been around it had been easier, easier to ignore Damon, to forget about the way he made her feel. But Stefan was gone and there was nothing to distract her, and she found herself not wanting to be distracted anymore. There was something going on between her and Damon, and everyone knew it. Why not give into it, just this one time? She was lonely, he was lonely…so why not be there for each other?

That was the reasoning she gave Damon, and he was more than glad to take it. He kissed her, held her, loved her. He did his best to make her forget all about Stefan, knowing in the end that he would have to make her forget all about him. For this moment in time, she belonged to him and him alone, but soon enough the moment would have to end, as they all ended. As she came beneath him, her nails digging into his shoulders, she cried out his name. He hugged her tight against his chest, pressing kisses all over her face. He did not bite her, never had. He couldn't risk leaving a mark neither of them would be able to explain. When it was all over, her reaction was one he hadn't seen before. There were no tears of guilt, no anger or resentment. She lay there next to him on the carpet, the warmth of the fire keeping their bodies comfortably naked. She was silent, her arm thrown carelessly over his stomach, as if it belonged there.

"Damon…" she said his name hesitantly, almost as if she was afraid that if she spoke it would break the spell hanging over them. "I need you to do me a favor."

He knew what was coming before she even asked. Him compelling her to forget was a new thing for her, but apparently she too sensed that what had happened between them was not something that should be remembered. "Anything."

"Make me forget. I know that must be painful for you to hear. It's not that I want to forget you…it's just that it wouldn't be fair. I can't be with you, I'm not ready. I still…I still love Stefan. I thought I could move on, that I could forget about him, but I can't. We need to find him, we need to make things right. We both owe him our lives, and turning our backs on him when he needs us simply because we feel something more than friendship for each other…it's not fair. And it's not right. I know that I won't be able to get tonight out of my mind though, so I need you to compel me. Give me a different memory. Anything else."

He took little comfort in the fact that this compulsion would be done willingly. As he took the memory away from her, tucking it into the back of his mind, he let one tear fall. Silently, her eyes glassy with his compulsion she stood, dressed and walked out. She did not speak and she did not look back. He stayed on the floor of the den, staring at the front door until he could no longer hear her car as she drove away.


In the morning, Damon sat up in bed slowly, holding the heel of his palm against his forehead. It was impossible for vampires to have hangovers, but not headaches. He hadn't puked his guts out from over consumption in a good hundred and fifty years, but he could remember what the swirling and spinning of a room was like from his human days. As he slowly pushed himself up from the mattress, he thanked the heavens that the only consequence for last night was a pounding skull. Compelling Elena last night hadn't felt good. It hadn't even felt right. He'd held her mind in his over a dozen times now, and each time it had been easy. Very easy. Last night, there had been something different. She'd mumbled her agreement to his replacement memory and promptly fallen asleep like he'd instructed…but there was something in the way she'd tried to curl up into him before he'd compelled her that had his heart thumping a little too quickly in his chest.

She'd been wearing no other vervain injected jewelry, he knew that for a fact…but still something was eating away at him. Damon tried to shake it off, passing it on for just more guilt he would have to carry around and stepped over the jeans he'd thrown on the floor upon returning home last night. He had to wash her scent away. Being able to remember every moment she was with him was one thing, being able to close his eyes and imagine every touch was another- but smelling like her; that was pure torture. For a moment, he stood at the sink simply staring at himself in the mirror, and then he set the water to hot and stepped beneath the near boiling spray. The jets pounded against his neck and shoulders but did nothing to sooth his muscles or his nerves.

He wanted Elena, wanted her to know the truth, to love him, to simply accept him and that what they felt for each other was real.

Downstairs, Elena let herself into the Boarding House. She'd waited until she thought it was safe for Damon to be awake, and then she'd gotten dressed and hurried over. There would be no more wondering, no more late nights up and awake listening intently for any sign that he might be there. Would he have come back tonight so she could confront him then? Probably, but she didn't think she could wait one more minute to learn the truth, to uncover his lies and put them both face to face with what this all really meant. Last night had been incredible, it had been life changing. He'd been loving and calm and sweet one moment than hard and fast the next. There never was just one side to Damon Salvatore, never. Carefully and quietly she climbed the stairs, wondering if he would hear her, if he was try to escape to avoid confrontation.

She couldn't really see Damon doing that, not when so much was on the line. This could either go really well, or end very badly. Either way, she just wanted the truth. When she got into his bedroom, the sound of running water finally registered in her ears and shook herself out of her own worried thoughts and feelings. The sight of Damon rinsing his hair beneath the water, the steam from the heat all around him was almost too much for her eyes. She'd gone through almost every emotion in the last twenty four hours, but the sight of Damon like this threw her for a loop. If the attraction she was feeling for him right now, was even half of what he felt for her she could understand the choices he made. She couldn't sympathize with it, or forgive, but she could understand it.

If she, Elena Gilbert had the power to compel she would seriously consider jumping in that shower right now, have her way with him and then pretend it never happened. Their attraction was just that strong that no amount of logic could stop her. How sick and twisted was that?

Damon slowly opened his eyes, sensing that he was being watched. As their gazes connected over the length of the hardwood, Elena felt a shiver of dangerous excitement rip through her. Without speaking, he stepped out of the spray; turning off the water with a quick twist of his wrist. They never broke eye contact, even though ever fiber of her being was begging her to. Here was Damon Salvatore, glistening wet in the morning sunlight, but she couldn't bare to pull herself away from the crystal blue confusion beaming at her from him. They both wanted answers, needed answers and if he was too much of a coward to get them from her, she would be the one to break the spell and bring everything out into the open. As the contemplated how best to break the silence, he beat her to the punch.

"What are you doing here?" he crossed his arms over his chest, either not noticing or caring that there was currently a pool of water forming around his bare feet. Around his bare everything.

"I…just…" she licked her lips, her mind faltering as she traced her gaze from the floor, up his legs and over the length of his body. "…I have a few questions."

"And it couldn't wait until this afternoon?"

"No." she shook her head, took an almost invisible step forward. Something was drawing her to him, some non existent line pulled her closer. It was desire, it was attraction, it was curiosity…but there was something more. The erotic hum in her body, in her veins, in the heat that was quickly boiling her blood from the inside out- it was familiar, and yet at the same time it wasn't. Her assumptions had been correct, and after last night she was positive. Now she just had to get up the nerve to actually ask him, and pray that he would be honest.

"I'm listening." He didn't move, he barely breathed. It was almost like talking to a stone statue, that occasionally spoke. He simply stood there, dripping in glory and sunlight like a twisted, dark Greek God. Images, sensations of last night tumbled through her mind and she shivered again; this time a delicious shiver. Idily, her fingers reached up to toy with the necklace around her throat. The vervain she'd drunk last night had long since left her system by now, but the charm around her neck hardly made her feel protected.

"Have you been compelling me to forget certain…things?"

His eyes widened, but he quickly replaced the displeased shock with a blank slate once more. His cheek bones hardened as his jaw tightened. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really Damon?" she challenged, taking another step toward him. "No idea?"

His shoulders fell slightly, the weight of her disappointed gaze weighing him down. "How did you figure it out?"

"For a while now, the connection between us has gotten stronger, a lot stronger. When I'm around you my body responds, it aches, it wants. I'm used to being attracted to you, but not like this. And frankly, it just keeps getting worse. It's like I'll go crazy if I don't have you, if you don't take me. I have vivid, intense dreams of what it would be like to be with you…only I've never experienced anything like that, especially not with you- or have I?"

She paused, but he didn't speak. He merely stood there, watching her, the only sound escaping his mouth was a deep grunt she took as permission to continue on.

"Last night, like random nights over the past few weeks I've been putting vervain in my tea. Hoping, you would come visit. Hoping you wouldn't. Finally, last night my plan and your devil idea merged. Did you not notice how willingly I went into your arms? How deeply I kissed back? How complacent, submissive my body was? You barely tried to compel me at all in the beginning, which tells me that most times I've been more than willing, or at least not disgusted you would come after me."

"The first time was really the only time I had to calm you down with compulsion enough to make you…willing. As you so tastefully put it."

"And just how many times have you taken the memory of a night together away from me?"

"Enough times that if I told you, you would hate me forever."

She glared at him. "Give me a number Damon."

He knew the answer, he just didn't think she would want it. "Fourteen."

The initial heat Elena had felt within her at Damon's closeness and appearance faded away for a moment, replaced by a dead, cold chill. She felt abused, used, and then the heat came back, but this time it was fiery anger. Damon saw the slap coming, but he didn't move to stop it, he knew he deserved it and a lot more. Probably more than she would ever be able to give him. "You bastard!"

She turned to storm out of the room, but he caught her elbow and flung her back around, dragging her into his arms and up against his body. Most of the water had dripped to the floor, but his skin was still damp enough to leave water spots on her shirt. "Before you go hating me and blaming me for it all, think about something. You wanted it, just as badly as I did. One night, you even came to me, asking for it, talking me into it. At the end, you asked me to make you forget because you didn't want the memory clouding your judgement while we were fighting to get Stefan back. The act of compulsion was all mine, but you played a very important part in this. You want me just as badly as I want you."

She couldn't deny it, but she couldn't forgive him for what he'd done either. Even now, as she hated him, loathed him, was disgusted with him; her body ached for him, for the release he could give her. She knew from last night how good it could be, how incredible he could be…but all the other times, the other memories were fleeting, blackouts of dreams and she wasn't sure what was real or imaginary. "I want to remember Damon, I want to remember all of it. Every moment that you took away, that I asked you to take away. I need to know who we are, who we can be…together."

He framed her face in his hands, winding his fingertips through the soft strands of her hair. "You're going to have to trust me, and take the necklace off."

She hesitated, her bottom lip between her teeth. If she did, and he decided to compel the memory of last night and their confrontation just now away from her, she would be back to the confusing square one of curious desperation and broken dreams. Her eyes darted back and forth between his, trying to read his, trying to read his face. "Can I trust you?"

"Yes." His thumbs caressed the outline of her cheek, and she took a deep breath, reaching up and unhooking the chain from around her neck. He watched as she let it fall to the floor, out of reach now. Her hands seemed helpless, at a loss for where to go, what to do so she fisted them around his wrists and held on. "Elena, I want you to think back to the night we discovered Katherine wasn't in the tomb."

She closed her eyes, and nodded. There were certain things about that night she would never forget, but then there was blackness afterwards that shocked her. "I've got it."

"Look at me." He whispered and she opened her eyes. His compulsion grabbed her, held on and wrapped around her mind. She could feel it, and then she could feel nothing. It was like she'd been thrown into a complete pool of darkness. The only light was him, his eyes, his face. It kept her looking at him, feeling the pull toward him. He'd captured her completely, body, mind and soul.

She was sure he was talking to her, putting back the memories of all the blank spots back from where he'd taken them, but she could barely hear his voice, barely hear her own responsive mumbling as she let herself get lost in the blue eyes before her. It was startlingly silent for a few moments, her mind dizzy as her brain fought to rearrange itself. She clung to him tighter, holding on in fear that she would collapse if either of them stepped away. Then everything clicked into place, but it wasn't a nice sweet click like the turning of a lock. It was a hard and fast jolt of memories and she staggered backwards. Image after countless image of naked skin pounded in front of her eyes like a whirlwind screen. She heard her own moans, his curses, his confessions of love; all of it poured out and into her mind until finally the spinning wheel stopped and she felt centered again.

Every moment they'd shared, every secret he'd told, given her, taken away. It organized itself back in order and she felt whole again. Her dreams made sense, her aches were real and had meaning. She found herself out of breath, her knees trembling as if she'd run a marathon. Damon held her tightly, his hands wrapped around her waist securely. "Wow." She whispered, looking up at him.

It almost felt like the first time, that she was truly seeing him. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know." She looked down at herself, then back up to him. "It's hard to explain."

"Elena…" he hesitated, and she could feel a wall between them begin to build up. He was closing himself off from her. "I'm sorry I took advantage of you. There is no excuse and I understand if you never forgive me."

She felt foolish, she felt ridiculous…and even though she was furious with him and a part of her hated him for what he'd done to her, she couldn't help wanting him close. "Damon, I don't hate you. I could never hate you…not really."

"I've done so many terrible things to hurt you."

"And I've hurt you right back." She admitted, looking up at him. She pressed her palm to his face and laid her other hand on his chest. "I'd say let's call it even, but then I wouldn't be able to ask you to make it up to me."

He saw the tiny grin tugging at the corners of her mouth and bent a little kiss each side. "I will spend the rest of eternity making it up to you if I have to."

She smiled and pressed up on her toes to kiss him right back, her arms tight around his neck. "Starting now." She murmured, gasping when he lifted her into his arms and dropped her on the bed directly behind them.

"So you remember everything?" he asked, teasing the bare skin of her stomach with his fingertips. She nodded, her head falling back as rolled her shirt higher up than it was already and dipped his head to press kisses along her hip bone.

"Yes." She nodded, her fingers wrapping in his hair and pulling his kisses wherever she ached for them.

He chuckled, letting one finger drag along the front seam of her jeans, applying just enough pressure to let her feel a spark of pleasure, but not enough to ignite anything. "Then what do you say we skip the slow, first time fumbling and get right to the good stuff?"

She looked down just in time to see his smirk as he turned his attention to getting her jeans off. With all her memories of their first 'times' swirling through her mind, she could understand why Damon simply wanted her now, right now and she couldn't agree more. Before she could say anything, he was dragging her jeans down her legs and they were on the floor somewhere beneath them. Elena wiggled out of her shirt, a moan escaping her lips as she felt his tongue and teeth flick out and nibble the inside of her thigh. Remembering this and feeling this, was going to be something else entirely. Then he'd slipped a finger beneath the fabric of her panties, slowly tracing it up and down over her.

She moved under his touch, nearly thrashing as he tortured her. She bit down on her bottom lip hard, trying to muffle the sounds threatening to escape her mouth and then she couldn't hold it in any longer when she heard the snap of elastic. Damon had ripped the side of her thong open and tossed it aside, sliding a finger within her as his tongue moved to torture her clit in its place. Her back arched and she unhooked her own bra, her breasts desperate for the release as he assaulted her in one of the most delicious ways possible. Tongue and touched moved together in tremor enducing harmony until she could barely breath, hardly speak and even her moans were mere whimpers. She found a little more air when he pulled away finally, her knees still shaking and her body vibrating from the first waves of pleasure. "Don't stop." She half orderd, half begged.

He only laughed and pressed his lips to her throat, molding one breast and lifting her knee with his free hand so it rested up against his ribs. Damon lowered over her, letting himself tease her as he'd done with his fingers a few minutes ago. She bucked up against him, guiding his head down so his kisses trailed between her breasts. He pushed lower but he only chuckled and shook his head. "My turn." He whispered darkly in her ear, sliding an arm under her and taking the lobe of her ear between his teeth.

She hissed at the pleasure pain sensation, and then let out a throaty scream when he slid inside her. Almost immediately her aching, tight walls clamped down around him and he had to turn his face away from her to stop himself from drawing blood. He thought he would have been used to how tight she was by now, but apparently not. His thrusts started off slow, letting them both adjust to the other's body. Then Elena started nibbling on his shoulder and he got the message loud and clear. She wanted more, and she wasn't going to let him stop. "If you stop again, Damon Salvatore, I swear to God-"

But Damon never got to find out what she would do because in the next moment she was moaning out his name, her nails digging into his back as she held on. He moved his hands down to her hips, lifting her from the mattress slightly as he moved deeper and deeper each time. She let her head fall to the side, then back; her throat on display each time. His mouth nearly watered for her, but it wasn't until she wrapped her hand around his neck and brought his fangs to her hammering pulse point that he sunk into her. He could taste the adrenaline and the pleasure in her veins. The excitement from finally being allowed to brand her got to him and he forgot for a few minutes to be gentle with her. His thrusts grew more intense, more out of control and Elena could do little more than hold on and enjoy the ride.

By the time he'd pulled back from her wound and lapped her throat clean from blood, she'd lost count of orgasms, which was a good thing considering Damon didn't think he could hold off from one more minute. Each time she flexed around him, a shiver of pleasure shot up his spine, and this last one had done him in. With sweat slicked skin, they moved together through the final laps, collapsing next to each other a moment later. Elena pressed her palm to her chest, feeling her heat beating beneath the skin as Damon caught his breath and wondered just what the hell had happened to him. After a mutual minute of needed silence, she rolled towards him, then on top of him. "I need you to promise me something."

He looked at her cautiously, his fingertips running up and down the dip of her spine. "What's that?"

"You won't ever make me forget that."

He laughed and pulled her up so their lips could touch. "I promise."

a/n: I stopped it here, because it was getting too damn long for my tastes, and I really have to get busy wit my other 'real life' stuff. No rest for the wicked.

If there is enough interest in this one I may continue it. No promises though, and it's going to have to be a good idea for chapter two. Let me know what you think all.