A Link Between Worlds: a Terrible Crossover

Hello, any and everybody who may or may not be reading this. Anyways, here's me, murdering the Legend of Zelda franchise for any and all fans who are interested in it. SO, let's begin to get an entire fandom to plot my demise! The beginning of this story will begin with my own personal version of the Zelda creation story, which in NOWHERE near cannon. Plus, this Link will be able to talk, sarcastic and cynical, and likes to read (along with being the exact opposite of the traditional Link). SO, let's start this terrible story, shall we?

. . .

Many ages ago, man was warring in an epic battle that threatened to wipe out their species. The old gods looked down upon them, and to end the bloodshed and death, they gathered all the hopes and dreams of the people and crafted them into a sacred, holy object that they gave to a king. And after that, the battles ceased, so the old gods allowed their gaze to leave the lands and look towards more important matters. But, after many millennium, they looked down once more upon the land of men and understood their mistake. The king they had given the sacred light was kind and just. But as he grew old and died, he left it to his oldest son, who was the exact opposite of his father. He used this power to rule the land with an iron fist, and this was true with all kings who had ruled for the next thousand years.

The gods contemplated what to do. They could not destroy the light, for not all of their powers combined were still not enough to destroy it. For many years after that, they waited to find a reason to destroy their creation. Then, it happened. The current king was murdered, and the light stolen. This caused another great war for its possession, but it was not a fair battle, as one side had the power of all hopes, dreams and wishes in their grasp. Instead of a war, it was a one-sided massacre. The gods, now with a reason to abolish their divine relic, used every last bit of their power to shatter it. But, this was a great strain on all of them, and while they managed to achieve their goal, they could no longer continue their existence.

Because of their efforts, the relic had been split apart into three pieces. As for the gods, their bodies may have been obliterated, but their immortal souls carried on, reincarnating. But, while each soul should have become their own god, several of them instead became mortal: and thus the Eight Sages were born from the sacrifice of their immortality. All but five of the original gods had remained immortal. These new deities had, instead of taking on an element to wield, chosen a part of their previous lives' creation to claim as their own. These beings were Nayru, Din, Faron, Hylia, and Ordana. The first four goddesses enjoyed the worship and praise that they got from the mortals who saw them as protectors and guardians, while the fifth, Ordana, was contents to just sit back and watch the world progress from the shadows of memory and history. And so, the world was at peace once more…

"LINK!" shouted his grandmother right next to his ear. He startled awake, launching three feet in the air out of fright. Turning his head to the side to see what was behind him, his eyes fell onto the shriveled, hag like form of his elderly grandmother, staring at him with a look that could make a Deku Baba wither away. She was no taller than him, and was just barely shorter than he was. Of course, she was shorter than all of his brothers and sisters. Her hair was completely white as snow, but she was nowhere near as pure. She was stronger than Link from her years working as a member of a street gang, and a construction worker after that. Thanks to that, she could "discipline" any of her seven grandchildren by punching them through a wall.

Of course, that was why he was hiding behind a tree at that moment, since he knew that's exactly what she would do if she found out that he was slacking off of farm work to read. She had some strange vendetta against books that was never justified, but there were several theories about it. One was that she grew up as an orphan, and because of that she had never gotten a proper education like he did. Or it could be that she just believed that they were a waste of time and merely a distraction to keep people from working. But in any case, she had strictly forbidden all of her grandchildren from reading as it would "only fill their heads with useless garbage" as she would put it.

And he was caught doing exactly that. Fortunately, this wasn't the first time that she had scolded him for reading. Like all of the times before, she had told him how useless that books were, and that they were only garbage, written by garbage, for garbage. And as usual, she then called his younger brother over to compare them and explain how even though he was older, he wasn't worth nearly as much as he was. And there was a big difference in the two just by looking at them.

While they shared the same fair blond hair and blue eyes, the younger sibling was taller and more heavily built. He had more muscles than any 10-year old child should have, and was somehow 4'9" while Link only stood at 4'3". Not only that, but he was mute while Link could talk, so everybody knew that being in his family and being mute meant that he would probably be the next hero, like the Hero of Time or the Hero of Twilight. In fact the only thing that could make him more qualified to take the place of Hero of something or other was if his name was Link.

Oh wait, the elder Link thought, it is. In fact, all of his brothers were named Link. His mother knew that she was descended from some hero reincarnation or other, and so she believed that if she had multiple children named Link, then the next hero was more likely to be one of them. So, that's how she had ended up giving birth to several children. Of course, that attempt to predict when the hero would be born was her downfall, since she had died in childbirth.

After his scolding, she confiscated his book (as usual) and screamed at me to get back to work so loud that the goddesses could hear her in whatever realm they existed in. As he got back to work hoeing the same patch of dirt over and over again, his mind began to wander, and before he knew it he was rereading the myth of creation in his mind again. And since he currently had nothing better to do, he decided not to ignore it and stood there for the rest of the day, hoeing that same patch of land.

. . .

Now that THAT nightmare is over, let's talk. Sorry that I haven't been able to write/update, but my computer was broken, so I had to get it repaired. Then, I had to come up with an idea of a story to write. And finally,... I procrastinated. So tell me just how bad it is, and I may or may not keep writing.