A/N: So uh, exactly one day before the deadline (or maybe this is the deadline, I don't really know!), here's my entry for the Snowman Solstice prompt.
I tend to think I'm way funnier than I really am, so I'll let you be the judge of whether or not this deserves the Humor tag! Thanks for reading!
She'd see him around town, looking suspicious. After dating for nearly a year, she thought they knew quite a bit about each other, but she had no idea what he was doing.
He avoided her most days since the beginning of winter, and whenever they did meet, he didn't make eye contact. He talked the bare minimal number of words, and he couldn't get away fast enough.
Klaus was a bold, kind gentleman who always said what was on his mind. To see him retreating so far into himself... Annie didn't know what to think.
She couldn't talk to him about it, obviously, so she consulted her friends.
"Maybe he's just feeling shy around you?" Lillie guessed.
That didn't really help. They'd been dating since the beginning of spring, and now it was just a few days before Christmas. If Klaus was only acting shy now, there was definitely something wrong.
"Maybe... he's too busy thinking of your present?" Agate took a crack at it.
That didn't seem very likely, either. Klaus would normally ask her what she wanted, as he did for her birthday earlier in the year.
"Maybe it's something special?" Angela asked with a gentle smile.
What did that mean? Anything from Klaus would be special. Did she mean something like...
"Maybe it's a feather," Elise said outright. She seemed pretty confident.
But Annie couldn't believe that, either. While they'd been dating long enough to be comfortable with each other, it was way too early to think about marriage.
"Maybe it's a blue feather," Iris concluded, providing an unnecessary clarification.
Annie thought that since Iris knew Klaus before any of the girls, she would be more knowledgeable, but...
None of them were any help, of course. In the end, Annie decided to just confront him, after all. Secrets and lack of trust would get them nowhere.
She found him just outside his house, struggling to drag a heavy-looking bag behind him.
"Um, Klaus?"
He looked over at her and smiled, not missing a beat. "Ah, Annie."
Well, now that she had his attention, what did she ask him?
"Why have you been avoiding me?" she settled for.
He dropped the bag. "Avoiding you? Nonsense, Annie. I - "
"Yeah, yeah, cut the crap." She stepped closer. "What's in the bag?"
"...I haven't the slightest clue what you're talk - "
"Klaus!"
He sighed, then looked around. "Would you help me bring this inside? I'll explain everything."
How did he manage to get it this far, then...?
"All right."
Annie grabbed one end of the bag, the velvety texture warm on her hands, while Klaus grabbed the other. They heaved it into the house without too much issue or injury.
Once they set it down on the bed, Annie grunted. She slapped her hands together, trying to alleviate the pain.
"What's in there, rocks?" She pried at the opening of the red bag.
"Ah! No, that's - "
Klaus's voice came just a second too late.
She dragged the opening down the bag a little ways, and immediately pounds and piles of toys spilled out.
There were dolls and cars and foam swords and guns, and even some stuffed animals.
Annie pursed her lips. Klaus was easily twice her age, and she was twenty-one. These were children's toys.
"Klaus... do you have a problem?"
"..."
"..."
"...It's not what you think, I assure you."
"Um, then, please explain like you said you would."
He cleared his throat. "Right, right." He looked every bit as guilty as the situation made him.
"You see, Annie... I was chosen."
"To... be a pedophile?"
"No! Absolutely not! There are certain people who, every year, are randomly selected to... erm, well, to act as Santa Claus. This year, I was chosen."
Annie plopped down on the bed next to the chaos. "So lemme get this straight. Every year, someone gets picked to cosplay as Santa Claus?"
"Well, cosplay is a very crude word..."
"But am I right?"
He nodded.
"And this year it's you?"
He nodded.
"So you're delivering toys to all the children in the world?"
He nodded.
"...Is it always an old man who gets selected?"
"How else would they believe it's the real Santa?"
She sighed, squeezing the bridge of her nose. "So, who picked you? Who gets to select a lucky winner?"
"Why, the one and only Santa Claus, of course."
"..."
This was confusing, and exhausting, and she just wanted to leave and forget it ever happened.
"Annie?"
She looked back at him. "Yeah, sorry. This is just... too much. Are you sure you're not, y'know, hyped up on something?"
He frowned. "If you don't believe me, then would you be willing to help out? Maybe then, you'll believe."
"Um, I mean sure, I guess... but help how, exactly?"
…
They spent two full days wrapping each and every toy. She hadn't even left Klaus's house once.
But it was already Christmas Eve, and Klaus was preparing to leave.
"Be careful," she told him.
He nodded. "I will."
Then Annie walked over to her eight cows. "And you guys make sure you get home safely."
Each one responded with an apathetic moo, shaking their ears to try and get rid of the fake antlers.
"And you," she said to the ninth one, its nose powdered neon red, "don't do anything dangerous. Everyone's counting on you."
She didn't get a response, but the cow's eyes a sense of understanding.
"I'm all ready," Klaus said from the seat of the sleigh. He grabbed the reins.
She nodded. "I never thought I'd see this in my entire life... I stopped believing in Santa when I was ten years old, but here he is, right in front of me."
"Yes, but only for this year," he reminded her. "Be sure to leave some milk and cookies out for me."
Annie frowned. "But you're taking all my cows..."
"Then perhaps you can offer me something else?" he asked, whispering huskily into her ear.
She thought for a moment. "Snickerdoodles?"
He smiled. "You know me so very well."
They shared a passionate kiss before Klaus pulled back the reins. "Hya!"
The cows clicked their legs together and started running in place. Soon, all nine of them and the sleigh rose slowly into the air.
Annie watched as the team rode across the sky into the night. Every child would be positively thrilled to be visited by such a charming old man tonight.
She knew she would, if she were still ten years old.
~CGA
