Before The Worst

Author: Brittany

Tagline: "Sacrificing your happiness, your life, for the one that you love, is by far the truest type of love." - Unknown.

Summary: The gun fires, the medical examiner cries out and Jane Rizzoli's entire world falls apart. This can not be happening. Not now. Not like this.

Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Spoilers: 1X10: When The Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang

Rated: R. As some material may not be appropriate for all individuals.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Author's Note: My first time writing Rizzoli and Isles, I don't expect this to be all that good but perhaps you will enjoy it. Just a little plot bunny that has been running around in my head for the past three days. Please shoot me some feedback because I can't improve if you don't tell me what's wrong. ;)


"It doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home. It changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point, all the fear, the pain, and the crap, maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up,"- Alex Karev

Chapter One

Growing up, Jane Rizzoli had always been good at calling things before they happened. The winner of the local basketball tournament. Who would win the Super Bowl that year. What they were getting for Christmas. Exactly how bad their punishment would be after they were caught doing something they knew better than. How much money their grandparents were going to send them that year, even down to the exact penny. This wisdom never changed after she joined the force, she had always been one of the better detectives in the Boston PD, always knew exactly who had fired the fatal shot that killed their victims. All of her life she had simply chalked it up to wisdom and her street smarts; people were always so predictable, even if they were strangers to her. However, this day, this exact moment in time, was one that Jane could have never expected, would have never even thought of being a possibility, even on one of her best days.

He had been a dirty cop. A fucking dirty cop. A dirty cop who was responsible for the shooting of her beautiful baby brother. A dirty cop who had been responsible for all of those murders and held without the slightest bit of compassion for his victims. Bobby Marino had been a mole, a dirty cop for perhaps his entire career in the police force. And now, it is this dirty cop who is holding her hostage, a gun pointed to her head, with a cold and dead look written within his eyes. She should have saw this coming, but there were no signs, nothing that told her to run to cover, nothing that told her to be suspicious. The cold barrel of the gun pushes deeper into her jet black hair as she swallows the breath in her throat, but she should have been, she should have known. How did she not see this coming?

"Come on, Bobby. Let me go. It's over," Jane communicates with her captor. She wonders what it would take to get to him, to make him realize that he has a life that is not worth giving up for something like this. Maura would know, she chuckled quietly to herself, of course she would, she loved probing people's minds. She would know how a kidnapper and a serial killer thinks, she would know how to get inside of his brain, to understand the way he thinks. If only she had listened to her all those times she ranted about serial killers instead of counting the freckles on her face or noticing the way that her lips turned upward in a smile.

"And what? Lose the game? No way, Rizzoli. You are my greatest prize. You're my one way ticket out of here," Bobby guffaws a laugh, clearly showing no remorse for everything that he has done. He wraps his other arm around her neck, holding her small but muscular body against his own, defeating her attempted squirms to free herself.

"Are you ready to put on our little show, huh?" Bobby whispers in her ear, a manic smile upon his face. She wonders when it happened, when he turned to be such a crook, what had drove him to become a deranged gun man instead of an endearing cop whose only concern was protecting the people. Had it been something political that drove him over the edge? A social misfortune? Or was he simply a ticking time bomb since the very first day they gave him his badge? She wonders if he had planned this event, these murders and assaults or where they simply a spur of the moment, save your own ass type of deal? Choking back the fear in her throat, Jane thinks of a lot of things, but mostly she fears what is waiting on the other side of that door.

"Don't forget to smile, baby. They want to see a good show, eh?" Bobby chuckles, placing a kiss on her temple and her stomach churns, the beads of sweat dripping down her face. She can feel her heart racing in her chest, every powerful beat against her rib cage, she can feel her breaths echoing down her hollow throat and the hot blood pulsing through the course of her veins. The tears want to cloud within her dark brown eyes but she fights them away, she fights away the fear, the uncertainty, because she can't give him that. She won't give him that.

"You can end this right now, Bobby and everything will be okay. The second you walk out that door, everything is going to change," Jane reasons with him but he only bellows a laugh, a snort escaping from within him as he presses the cold gun harder into her skull, his grip tightening around her neck.

"Don't you get it, you stupid bitch? Nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay! I've killed people and I sure as hell won't hesitate to kill you if you don't shut your fucking mouth. All you have to do is smile for the cameras, alright? And you'll stay alive," Bobby instructs, leading her to the blue door of the station house. She squirms, kicks and thrashes trying to free herself from his tight embrace but she fails to escape from his strength. He lets out a shaky breath and Jane notices as they take in the scene of snipers and police cars awaiting their arrival.

"One shooter. One hostage," A voice evaluates the situation as he pushes open the door of the station house with the help of Jane. Gasps echoed through the crowd of the snipers and the familiar faces of her crew as they all realize exactly how serious the situation truly is. She knows they must have seen it, the cold, miserable dead look in his eyes, the degrading smirk upon his face. Bobby Marino is not like all the other captors and kidnappers they have been face to face with all of these years, and perhaps he is one that they do not have the skill or the training to defeat.

"Bobby, let her go. It's over," Korsak states, standing beside of Frost only a few feet away from the station house, guns aimed and ready at her captor. Their eyes meet, even if only briefly and they both let out a disheartening sigh. Jane Rizzoli is a lot of things; stubborn, tough, loud, and perhaps a little rude but never in her entire life had she ever been afraid for her life, never had she been this weak, this vulnerable, until now. And seeing this, here and now, without the power to stop it, shook both Vincent and Barry to the core of everything they ever stood for.

"Bobby, please, this is over, please," Jane pleads, the hot, wet tears clouding within her dark eyes. His grip tightens against her neck as her heart slams in a heavy beat inside of her chest, her breath lost somewhere in her throat as her mind races in a thousand different directions. She had been trained to handle situations like this but nobody had ever warned her that one day, she would be on the other side of that infamous invisible line of justice and fear.

"Now, didn't I tell you to be quiet? Hmm? Guess I'm going to have to kill you after all, pretty lady, " His deep voice mumbles against her earlobe, creating chills to erupt up her arms and spine. For all the things that she believed in, none of them could save her now. Weak, vulnerable and helpless, Jane can only struggle at the hands of her captor, the only person who makes the call if she lives or dies now. Thrashing in his arms, her mind can not help but wander back to Maura. Beautiful and brave Maura. The only person to make sense of her, the only person to see her for everything that is and not walk away from her. The only person that she trusted with her whole heart. Did she know it? How much she meant to her? Did she know it? That she loved her?

"Why are you doing this?" She asks, wrinkling her brow together and the blond simply shrugs.

"Because I have your back, Jane," Maura smiles that breath taking smile that Jane can feel in the pit of her stomach and she can only shake her head in response.

She is shaken from the flashback as Bobby pulls her harder against him, cradling the gun very carefully within his hands, listening to the surroundings around him. Would this be the way that it ended for her? At the hand of some deranged, psychopath? Would she never get the chance to tell her mother exactly how she felt about her and her overprotective ways? Would she never get the chance to tell Frankie how proud she is of him? Would she never get the chance to see Maura again?

"Put the gun down, Bobby! Don't make it worse on yourself! Let her go!," Korsak exclaims, his gun aimed directly toward the man as he and Frost slowly approach him. Frantically, Jane scans the scene, snipers, cops, the FBI, they were all ready to save her, so what in the hell is taking them so fucking long?

"I got you," Bobby chuckles, dragging Jane down the street with him as Korsak and Frost follow him, watching his every movement, waiting for the perfect chance to take him down and free Jane.

"Shoot him! Just shoot him! Please! Just shoot him!" Jane pleads and Bobby laughs manically.

"You stupid bitch. You just don't know when to shut up, do you?" Bobby exclaims, tightening his arm around her neck as she gasps for air, thrashing her body against him, her fist pounding against his large, overbearing body.

"Please! Frankie's bleeding to death!" Jane's voice is stricken with panic and despair as her eyes stare deep into Vincent's, who only stands watching the entire scene to unfold in front of him. She wonders what is taking him so long, for all the years they have spent together, she knows that he can get this shot off in time. For all the years they spent together, did she not mean enough to him to try and save her?

"He's probably already dead anyway!" Bobby answers loudly, pushing the gun harder into the back of her skull as she struggles to free herself from him. She feels the bile rising in her throat at the thought of her baby brother laying on the table in Maura's morgue, struggling to breath, barely hanging on to life. It's her fault. It's all her fault.

"Jane!" It is a familiar voice that calls out to her now, a voice that has provided comfort to her many of the nights that the nightmares are too much for her to handle. A voice that soothes her and calms her and steals her heart beat, even now, under the worst of circumstances. Both Jane and Bobby turn to find Dr. Maura Isles standing on the steps, her eyes pried open in the utmost fear at the situation bestowed before her. Her lips are pursed as a gush of air escapes within her, her gray eyes flickering to the most lovely offset of chocolate brown. For a moment nothing is said, simply because nothing needs to be said.

"Maura," Her name falls softly from Jane's lips as the blond stands, helplessly watching the scene in front of her.

"Jane I'm so sorr-" She takes a step toward Jane but before she can finish, Bobby's loud voice overpowers hers.

"If you so much as take a step toward her, I will not hesitate to shoot you, Dr. Isles. And as both you and Frankie know, I have very good aim," Bobby chuckles in a laugh, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a swift movement of his wrist. Glancing down, she contemplates the situation, her mind racing in a thousand different directions at once. She's been there, at the end of that barrel, she knows exactly how hard Jane's heart is beating and exactly how afraid she is, whether she would admit it or not. Jane Rizzoli was bossy, tough, loud, slightly obnoxious, and occasionally rude, she was far too tall and could easily tackle her without thinking twice about it. All of these things had once sent Maura running from a potential mate but she is beginning to realize that with Jane, perhaps it is the best relationships start that way. Biting her bottom lip, she studies her hands for a moment before her eyes flicker back to Jane's and neither of them have to say anything because it is simply understood.

"It's a good thing you're not my type." Maura jokes a smile as Jane gasps.

"What do you mean I'm not your type? That's so rude!" Jane exclaims as Maura laughs.

Swallowing back the cry in her throat, it takes all that she has left inside of her to keep the tears from springing from her eyes. There has been so many times when she wished that she could have told her, so many times when she felt so many things for her, so many things that she knew that nobody would ever understand. There has been so many times when Jane has been in her bed and her arms were around her when she wished that she could have pressed her lips against hers and everything would have made sense. But Jane is her friend. Her best friend. The only friend she has ever had so it was easier to love her from afar and not say anything than to say something and lose her forever. But now, she realizes, that she may lose her forever anyway. She may lose her without her knowing exactly what she feels for her, exactly how much she loves her.

"Isles! Get out of the way!" Frost calls out to her but her eyes never leave Jane's face. The light dances across the perfect angles upon her face, the lines telling a story of where she has been and where she is going, lines that tell a story of love and heart break. The gash upon her head dribbles with the slightest amount of blood and it catches her eye and she swallows hard, gnawing on her bottom lip, evaluating and contemplating her next move.

"Maura! Go!" Jane yells at her best friend and the blond winces at the sound of pain in her voice. She's seen her angry, she has seen her hostile but this Jane is so new to her. She can see the fear written within the swirls of chocolate in her eyes, she can see the pain and the selfless. She can't do this. Not for her. No, she grinds her teeth down hard, she won't let her.

"No! I said that I had your back, remember?" Maura exclaims loudly at her best friend, the tears clouding within her gray eyes. Jane's lips part as they tremble, trying to form words but she fails as Bobby's arm tightens around her neck, pulling her tighter against him as he rests the gun in the crook of her neck. Instead she only smiles at the woman, the loyal and fearless woman who stands before her now and she regrets never allowing herself to let her in.

"It's okay, I forgive you. Go. Go back to Frankie," Jane pleads but Maura shakes her head, choking out a cry.

"No, I am not leaving you here, Jane!" Maura snaps, standing her ground with her and Jane smiles at her. So much for not being able to stand up for herself, Jane chuckles inwardly. She loves this side of Maura, the flaming passionate side, the side that only she gets to see. Staring at her now, she sees the passion that flushes in her eyes and she knows that she will be fine without her.

"Maura," Jane begins in a pleading whisper but the words fail her. What is she to say now? What is she to tell the woman that she loves more than anything else in this world? What is she to say to the only person who can put her together when she is a broken mess? What is she to say to the only person who holds every piece of her? Maura rubs the crook of her neck, glancing over at Korsak, his gun pointed at Bobby, waiting for him to release Jane. Suddenly, it all makes sense to her now, suddenly it all clicks in her head. The only way that Bobby can be stopped is if he is shot and the only way that Frost and Korsak will try to get a shot at him is if he releases Jane and the only way that he will do that is if she is his target. She can't lose Jane, not here, not like this. When you love someone, she sighs, your brain doesn't function correctly. When you love someone, you forget about your morality, about the logic and statistics. When you love someone nothing else matters but that one person, their life, their health, their happiness. When you love someone, nothing else matters.

"Jane," Maura says her name so sweetly that Jane knows that it's different, she knows that everything is different now. Catching Korsak's gaze, Maura nods her head carefully before she pulls out the gun from her back pocket, taking a step toward Bobby, aiming the gun directly at him as she cocks it and her finger trembles at the trigger. In the next five seconds, everything that Jane Rizzoli ever knew is ripped away from her. The gun is removed from her head as she is shoved onto the side walk in a hard tumble and her entire world begins to fade from her vision. The gun fires, the medical examiner cries out and the sound of another gun firing echoes through her ears. Bobby falls hard onto the sidewalk beside of her, blood soaking through the back of his shirt, his gun scattering beside of her.

"Rizzoli!" Vince calls out. Groaning, Jane rubs the crook in her neck, pushing her stomach up from the side walk, looking around of Maura, to find her beautiful smiling face staring back at her, talking about how everything is always a give and take relationship of team work but she can't find her. Glancing down, she finds the blond's body laying on the ground, a large puddle of blood forming behind her back.

"MAURA!" Jane cries out, jumping to her feet as she rushes to the girl. Her girl. Falling to her knees, she scans the body of her best friend, noticing the gun shot wound to her chest. Without thinking, she places her hand over the wound, pulling Maura into her lap as she desperately tries to stop the bleeding. Looking up, she finds the scared and confused faces of her co workers staring back at her, all in shock at the limp body that now lays in her arms.

"Well don't just stand there! Call a goddamn ambulance!" Jane yells in a strained voice. She watches as the blood soaks under her hand, the tears form within her eyes as she struggles to keep them back. She studies her best friend's face as Maura's lips part, a shaky breath echoing down her hollow throat in a gasping cry. Using her free hand, she brushes a blond curl away from her best friend's face, choking back the cries as the tears fall from her brown eyes.

"Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Stay with me. Just stay with me. Keep breathing. Please keep breathing. I can't lose you here. Not now. Not like this. Come on, Isles," Jane instructs and Maura forces the weakest of weak smiles upon her face. Her eyes begin to droop as her body trembles in Jane's arms, the blood soaking under her hand, creating a large puddle on the gray side walk beneath them.

"R-R-R-R-em-ember wh-when I..I sa-said you w-weren't my-my type?" Maura struggles to catch a breath, her body shaking and trembling from the blood loss as the color drains from her face and lips. Jane says nothing, instead she only stares down at her, brushing her hair with her thumb and Maura sighs, "I-I-I li-lied." Choking out a loud cry, Jane laughs with a smile, shaking her head slightly.

"Don't. You can tell me later, okay? You can tell me how I have a perfectly shaped gluteus maximus, that my breasts are the right size for my body and are not vertically challenged, and Talk Google to me for the rest of your life. But right now, I just need to keep breathing for me, okay? Can you do that? Can you just keep breathing for me?" Jane pleads with the weakening girl in her arms and Maura only smiles up at her, her eyes drooping, her breaths becoming shallow and uneven.

"Y-y-you're b-b-bossy," Maura struggles to speak. She closes her eyes for a moment, before she opens them, finding Jane's dark brown eyes staring into hers, "J-J-Ja-Jane I..."

"I know. I know. Me too," Jane smiles down at her and Maura only nods her head before the fatigue captures her. Her eyes finally close as she falls into the darkness that consumes her, her body falling limp in Jane's arms as her breathing begins to slow until they stop completely. Tears flowing from her eyes, Jane begins compressions upon the lifeless body in her arms, the gasping cry falling from her strangled lips, the world beginning to slow around her.

"Where is that ambulance? I need a fucking ambulance! Do not do this, Isles! Don't you dare do this to me! Don't you dare go and get yourself killed because of me! Hang on! Just hang on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on," Jane pleads, performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation as Maura would correct her. The next ten minutes would be the longest of her life as she finds herself praying to a God that she doesn't necessarily believe in, praying for a miracle that she knows she doesn't deserve. She lets out the loudest, most heart wrenching cry that echoes through the streets of Boston. She cries out of fear, she cries out of pain, she cries out for Maura but mostly she cries out for their love that may never have a chance to be. This can't be the end for her, for them. Not here. Not this way.


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