THE PRIYA ENGAGEMENT
PROLOGUE
SCENE: The boys' apartment. SHELDON is seated at his computer. LEONARD is cooking dinner.
LEONARD: I still don't understand why you can't agree with me on this one.
SHELDON: Perhaps because, as usual, your position is indefensibly illogical.
LEONARD: No, it's perfectly logical. If time travel is perfected, one of the first priorities should be to go back in time and prevent them from making "Indiana Jones and Crystal Skull."
SHELDON: It was better than "Temple of Doom."
LEONARD: No, it wasn't.
SHELDON: (Turns to him.) Leaving aside the obvious fallacies in your argument over which is the better Indiana Jones movie, wouldn't the higher priority be to go back and stop George Lucas from making any of the "Star Wars" prequels?
LEONARD: (Pauses) Okay, yeah. You're right about that one.
(The door flies open. HOWARD and RAJ enter.)
HOWARD: (Excited) Great news!
SHELDON: (To Leonard) That reminds me. We really need to get that lock fixed.
HOWARD: (Ignores him) C'mon, Koothrappali has some exciting news!
LEONARD: (To Raj) What is it?
RAJ: We're all invited to India!
LEONARD: What?!
HOWARD: It's true. And that's actually not the best part! (Looks to Raj)
RAJ: It's for my sister's wedding.
LEONARD: (Shocked) Priya's getting MARRIED?
HOWARD: (Smiling) And…hold it! (Snaps Leonard's picture with cell phone. Turns to Raj.) You're right. It was even better than we expected.
LEONARD: Wait. You're telling me that Priya's getting married?
RAJ: Yes. And my parents have invited all of us.
HOWARD: (Still excited) I've already called Bernadette! Isn't that great?
SHELDON: (Dismissive) Oh, yes, it most certainly is great. If you consider traveling to a third world country where the bubonic plague is still a force to be reckoned with and rampant disease runs wild along the Ganges where people still believe it is suitable to bathe as burned corpses float by them, then why yes, it's a wonderful idea!
RAJ: (Sighs) Sheldon, I'm really getting tired of you criticizing my culture.
SHELDON: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I factually incorrect in anything I said?
RAJ: Not at all. Why do you think I live here instead of there? (Pauses) But I'm still tired of it!
SHELDON: (To Howard) Then why on earth would traveling to such a place be a good thing?
HOWARD: (Grinning) Because this just might be the thought that pushes my mother over the edge! (Laughs) She takes a fall, Bernadette and I get the house to ourselves. Two problems solved all at once! (Pauses) And besides, unlike you, Bernadette loves the idea of traveling to a place where microbes run rampant. It'll be like an outdoor laboratory she can have all to herself!
LEONARD: Wait a second. I'm still not sure how I feel about all this.
HOWARD: Oh, c'mon! You get to travel to a distant place. We all get to come with you. You get to watch your ex take the plunge while you stay proud and single. What's not to like?
LEONARD: (Thinks) Well, I guess that's okay. I'm just not sure how Penny will feel about it.
RAJ: You don't need to worry. She's not invited.
LEONARD: (Confused) What?
RAJ: My sister's invitation. Look. (Hands him paper.) All of us can come; but she specifically avoided inviting Penny.
SHELDON: Penny won't be able to accompany us? (Looks at Leonard) You're going to travel halfway around the world to watch your ex-girlfriend getting married while your current girlfriend is excluded? I'm no expert in the ways of the emotionally-driven, but even I should think that that's going to make for a somewhat awkward conversation.
LEONARD: (Still trying to sort it all out.) Well, yeah. But I'm sure she'll be reasonable and understanding. I mean, I'm not taking anybody else. I'm just going alone!
(Cut to: PENNY's apartment. PENNY, AMY, and BERNADETTE are at the table drinking wine. PENNY is holding up a copy of the Kama Sutra with her eyes wide in disbelief.)
AMY: And that is why you can't let him go over there alone.
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