Mature warnings for explicit swearing and sexual references.

Coinciding incidences of missions gone wrong, shitty family situations, long trips to the hospital, scolding's from higher-ups and just a generally shit week resulted in the rag tag group of young chuunin/jounin drinking their woes away. All around the ages of 22 but feeling like middle-aged men with the woes of the world on their shoulders.

So, when Sasuke, incredibly uncharacteristically went along with Naruto's shot in the dark of:

"Hey let's hit Sasuke's dad's sake collection," grinning widely as he pointed in the direction of a hidden cupboard, already opening his mouth to make another comment about something unrelated, everyone froze in horror at Sasuke's reply.

"Go for it."

All heads turned in Sasuke's direction; silence heavy in the living room, and Naruto was the first to hesitantly break it,

"Sasuke… seriously?"

"Shot glasses are in the pantry."

Naruto was already loading up his arms and Sakura was filling bowls with snacks because the medic in her said alcohol on an empty stomach was a bad idea, and there was about to be a lot of bad ideas from here on out.

Varying bottles of sake were lined up, bowls of snacks dispersed around the room, filled shot glasses in the hands of everyone gathering in a circle on the floor on cushions.

Everyone lifted their glasses to their lips, an uncharacteristic silence upon the room, before Naruto paused turning to Sasuke hesitantly.

"Hey dumbass, you sure about this?"

Sasuke was still for a moment, his glass frozen against his lips, before he stiffly nodded.

"Fuck it and fuck him, bottoms up bitches." Sasuke muttered darkly before throwing back his glass.

The silence broken like glass shattering and everyone whopped, downing their drinks.

Naruto, the one ever with the dumb, crazy and no doubt fun ideas, was the one who suggested it.

"Hey, hey hey, before everyone gets too drunk, why don't we play a game?"

Everyone turned curious and disbelieving looks towards him,

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ino started flatly, "We all know how these things end."

"Regret and a bad fucking hangover," Neji started.

"And at least five people you can't look in the eye for the next three weeks," Tenten tagged on.

"And someone always has pictures," Temari moaned, everyone turning simultaneously to shoot Sai varying degrees of dirty looks; as he always seemed to carry incriminating evidence against all of them on his person.

"C'mon you guys, don't be so fucking boring," Naruto moaned.

Sakura tapped a finger on her lip thoughtfully.

"How about we make a blood pact, anyone who talks about anything that happens tonight will break out in itchy, red hives?"

Reluctant and hesitant looks exchanged around the room as Sakura procured an empty scroll from her rucksack nearby and began writing the contract and applying the requisite seals for the punishment clause to take effect.

"Dumbass, how long are your parents gone for?"

"Two weeks," Sasuke replied solemnly, "Though preferably forever," he added on bitterly.

Naruto punched his arm disapprovingly at the add on, and Sasuke continued to pout against his glass.

"Perfect" Naruto grinned, turning to Sakura who was just about finished and was pressing her bloodied fingerprint to the scroll.

Naruto leaned over, tilting the parchment his way as he hastily and messily added his name, roughly jabbing his bloodied fingerprint alongside Sakura's.

Sasuke looked at the scroll apprehensively when it was passed his way. He pursed his lips thoughtfully, glaring at it for a good minute.

"If we become legends in the future-"

"Which we will," Naruto chirped in.

"-This will be the dumbest fucking legacy to leave behind."

Naruto and Sakura shared a knowing look before nudging a shot Sasuke's way, he downed it wordlessly, muttering a "fuck it" under his breath before adding his name to the list.

The scroll went around, swearing its signors to secrecy and somewhere along the way stripping their inhibitions and hesitations.

"Okay, here's how it goes; we go around the circle and each person says: 'Never have I ever' something. If anyone in the circle has done that thing, they must take a shot, if no one has, the person who said it takes the shot." Bright blue eyes rove around the room, looking for nods of understanding.

"So for example I said, 'Never have I ever… I don't know… shat in a park', anyone who has shat in a park, has to take a shot."

Sasuke looked at Naruto disgusted, "Please tell me you haven't."

"Hey, hey the game hasn't started yet," Naruto skillfully avoided. "Okay were going to start with… er, whoever had salami for breakfast." Naruto decided whimsically and luckily it was only one person who raised their hand.

"Orite Hinata give it your best shot," Naruto turned to her before turning back to the group. "Just remember guys there is one rule only, 'No questions asked'."

Everyone gripped their shot glasses tightly in their hands, waiting apprehensively as Hinata's brows pinched in thought.

"Never have I ever," her soft voice began, "left underwear behind in someone's house," she finished with an almost evil grin.

Gasps of shock echoed around the room at the risqué question coming from the most innocent looking person.

"It's always the quiet ones," Ino shook her head in mock disapproval.

"I guess were going straight for the deep end then," Naruto chuckled, before throwing his head back and emptying his glass.

Followed by Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Temari, Neji and Shikamaru.

"Now hold up," Ino began, "I get its somewhat more common for girls to leave their underwear behind, especially since it wouldn't cause us any degree of 'free willy' if we didn't wear any," Sakura chocked back a laugh. "But how come so many guys?"

"We stay over at each other's houses a lot, sometimes you forget things," Neji added.

"Okay so raise your hands those who have done it in a non-sleepover setting," Ino specified the question, eyes narrowed at those who had chugged.

No one moved, exasperated Ino refilled her glass, "I'll take a shot to have it answered."

The sound of Ino's teeth clinking against the glass was followed by three hands raised and signaled the start of everyone beginning to reevaluate their impressions of each other.

"Never have I ever," Tenten continued from besides Hinata, "worn underwear of another gender."

"Pants again," Sakura sighed, but still threw her drink back.

Followed by Naruto, Ino, Temari, Shikamaru and shockingly Neji.

Everyone turned wordlessly to look at Neji, varying degrees of disbelief and question on their face

He merely raised one fine eyebrow and shrugged regally like it was business as fucking usual at the store.

"Damn Neji, I think we need to bring you drinks more fucking often," Naruto supplied.

Temari was next in line, stuffing peanuts into her mouth and crunching loudly as she thought hard and seriously about her potential question.

"Hmmmm," she finally began, a wicked glint in her eyes, "Never have I ever watched a porno."

There was a unified sigh around the room as everyone bar Temari threw back their drinks.

"Strictly educational purposes only," Naruto added sheepishly.

"It's not like my parents had the talk with me…" Hinata blushed as she defended herself.

"Me and Ino got really drunk and curious one night," Sakura chipped in.

At this comment Naruto whipped his head around to face Sakura so fast that she winced at the audible click.

"You… wh-what!?" He spluttered, cheeks red from the alcohol and the scandalous image procured.

Sakura smacked the side of his head reproachfully, but everyone in the room was on the edge of their feet for her answer.

Sighing loudly, she replied, "Not like that, we were young and arguing over something-"

"Average dick size I think," Ino supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, and she said average was eight inches, I said six, so we turned to the only thing our sixteen-year-old minds had for reference…"

Temari burst out laughing followed by Tenten and Hinata.

"I can only imagine porn raising that average number," Temari cackled.

Meanwhile all the men in the room seemed to find some other spot to occupy their sheepish gazes with.

oOo

At this point the alcohol was beginning to kick in, snacks were all over the floor and the turns were moving towards people who would ask the dastardly questions.

Tapping his fingers together in serious thought – probably more serious than even during the chuunin exams Temari observed – Shikamaru began his turn in a voice laced with deviousness.

"Never have I ever," deftly twirling his full glass between his fingers he leveled his gaze around the room, "been through a teammate's belongings without asking them."

The air around the room was saturated with the implications the answer would have. The alcoholic buzz at least seemed to take the edge off it somewhat.

"At the very least, we'll be too fucking drunk to remember this tomorrow," Sakura began with trepidation before chugging back.

"We can only hope," Naruto added before tipping back himself.

Hinata, Ino, Temari and Tenten followed.

"No fucking questions asked," Tenten repeated between clenched teeth, her face a bright shade of crimson.

Neji's turn followed with a blank expression but his voice leaked some of his devious pleasure.

"Never have I ever had or held a dildo."

Almost everyone bar Naruto chugged back their drinks.

"In my defense," Sakura blushed, decidedly too sober to be admitting shit like this.

There was a loud scraping sound as the living room doors slid open, followed by quiet footsteps.

"It wasn't my dildo," Sakura who sat on the side of the group opposite to the door, felt the last word die on her lips as her eyes focused on the person entering the living room.

There was a tense, heavy silence as all eyes – most bleary and unfocused – turned to the figure.

"Sasuke."

"Nii-san, welcome home…care for a drink?" Sasuke leaning his head on his knee, a light blush permanently on his cheeks as he lazily held a glass out to Itachi who entered the room alongside his cousin Shisui.

Itachi glanced around the room in disdain, from the haphazard group of young ninja to the mess of snacks strewn about, to the bottles of his fathers prized sake opened and lined carelessly along the floor.

"Sasuke, Sasuke," Itachi muttered disapprovingly, shaking his head as he made his way across the room. "I taught you better than this."

Everyone held their breaths as Itachi made his way towards Sasuke. Unexpectedly he walked right past him and towards the far corner of the room, pulling up the tatami mats and reaching under the floorboards as he retrieved two clear bottles from the foundation. Shrugging his coat off on the chair and grabbing a cushion, he plopped down next to Sasuke with the bottles.

"If you're going to do something, you do it proper. Don't go for the decoy, go for the good shit."

The hissing sound of the cork being released broke through the tense silence in the room, before Uchiha– skilled, S-class, anbu squad captain, famed genius, Uchiha glorified heir – Itachi, filled a shot glass,

"Dildos was it?"

And threw it back.

The fucker didn't even wince at the burn.

oOo

There was a unified sense of apprehension settling upon the room when the round turned to Sai.

His eyes and expression blank as always save for the placid, fake smile on his face. The scariest thing was that for the first time ever Sai's smile almost seemed real, genuine.

And it scared the fuck out of those who knew him well.

"Never have I ever," the silence was tangible as his flat monotone carried through the drunken haze, "Sucked dick."

There was a pause. A moment so long that it could only be everyone in that room reevaluating their choices to remain there. But not a single person moved, already too aware that no one was drunk enough yet to not remember them pussying out.

And so, with gallant effort and a great deal of averted gazes, the following kicked back.

Ino and Temari were the first to go

Followed by Tenten and Hinata.

There was what seemed like a long pause when finally, Sasuke downed his shot too.

Whilst making a pointed effort to look anywhere but his brother and cousin.

oOo

"Never have I ever fooled around with a teammate's relative," Shisui grinned devilishly as his gaze traveled around the room, his grin only widening as various people's faces twisted in horror and regret.

All eyes were on Sakura as she downed.

"No questions asked!" she reiterated, blushing furiously as she burned a hole in the ground with her gaze.

There was a heavy pause as the turn fell to Itachi. Mentally almost everyone panicked as to what evil, convoluted question the genius would throw that would have them revealing way more than they ever wanted to share.

Sasuke in particular was having a mini-mental-panic-attack of his own. If he knew one thing about his crazy older brother it was that his specialty was finding people's weakness; often Sasuke's own, in fact especially always his own.

And he sure as hell wasn't wrong this time.

"Never have I ever," the deep, clear voice cut through the heavy air, "tried anal."

Everyone would have fallen over in shock at such filth coming from the regal-looking Uchiha if they weren't already panicking over their own responses.

The sound of glass on teeth almost echoed as Tenten was the first to throw back.

And then Hinata, who tried to be so silent no one noticed, but failed miserably.

And lastly, almost as if they were expecting it, almost as if it would explain the theories in their head, Sasuke chugged back too, cursing under his breath.

The continual silence was broken by the almost sacrilegious sound of giggling which morphed into full-blown, bent-over-the-waist laughter, as Sakura wheezed in hilarity, her hand smacking the floor over and over.

"I'll be sure to lend you my dildo next time," Sakura managed to wheeze out between snorts of laughter.

"I thought it wasn't yours," Sasuke retorted sharply.

Sakura froze on the floor, her face turning an alarming shade of red.

At which point the whole room erupted in nerve-induced, alcohol-supplied, laughter at the end of which the room seemed a tad bit lighter.

"Never have I ever," Sasuke began dubiously, "kissed someone in this room."

There was a moment of silence. Almost as if they were playing a game of "Guess who?" instead of, "Bring your deepest, darkest secrets to the party and regret living tomorrow", because every turn seemed to be revealing more pieces of the who's-fucking-who puzzle.

Sakura sighed into her glass, swallowing once before downing her shot. She looked around the room, watching with small triumph as Naruto, Shikamaru, Hinata, Kiba (who had joined late but didn't hesitate to down like ten shots to catch up) and Temari followed.

There was a heavy pause where no one moved and no one continued.

Naruto sighed aloud, rolling his eyes.

"That's bullshit and we all know it," Naruto grinned as he guided Sasuke's hand to his mouth and made him drink a shot for his own question.

Sakura's face almost split in a grin from Naruto's smooth breaking of the awkward silence to the fact that it was finally her turn.

"Never have I ever," she slowly drew her gaze around the room (though hastily avoiding certain people), "Had a lewd dream about anyone in this room."

Sasuke sighed loudly, emptying the last drops of a bottle into his glass before reaching for another and filling up Naruto's beside him.

"Thank fuck we don't have missions tomorrow," he sighed again as he chugged back.

He glared at Naruto who remained still beside him, effecting the most innocent face he could muster.

"Don't make me laugh." He reached over and guided Naruto's hands to his lips just like he had done to him before, "If anything you should take shots for the number of people in this room you've dreamt about."

"Ah Uchihas', never letting go of opportunities for revenge." Sakura laughed as she watched Naruto down his shot with a sour look on his face.

Shockingly most others followed. Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, Hinata, Itachi and Shisui all enjoyed another shot of sake to their systems.

The alcohol was running low and everyone was reaching the borderline point between buzzed and really-fucking-gone as the round reached its penultimate player.

"Never have I ever," Naruto's voice was surprisingly clear and lucid as he began, as if he had been waiting the entire night for this moment, "Given or received a lap dance."

Sakura smiled as she flipped her unfilled cup and placed it upside down, indicating she at least didn't have to drink for the final round. Ino on the other hand tipped back, half of it dribbling down her shoulder.

Temari and Shikamaru followed next, silently flipping their emptied glasses.

"I can't tell if ya'll are fucking," Ino slurred just slightly, gesturing between Temari and Shikamaru with her empty glass, "Or just have that much of a slutty history."

Sai cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Yeah, yeah I'm not one to talk," Ino sighed. "See ya'll expect it with me, but with them two it's… it's… what's the word? Something like gap-moe."

"It's always the quiet ones," Shisui explained. "That being said, I don't think it's 'expected' from you Ino-chan, you just sound to me like you know how to have a good fuckin' time," he pointedly winked in Ino's direction before tipping back and flipping his emptied glass.

Ino blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What just happened there," Sasuke whispered to Sakura in disbelief.

"I have no idea," Sakura muttered back, before adding on, "But you better chug the fuck back asap, don't think I've forgotten that one mission to Iwa."

"That wasn't my choice!" Sasuke hissed.

"He didn't specify choice."

Sasuke glared to which Sakura responded, "Doesn't fucking work Uchiha, we've been teammates long enough that your glares put me to sleep."

He tipped back but not before grumbling, "That doesn't even make sense."

Hinata was the last to drink.

"Told you," Shisui grinned. "Always the quiet ones."

o0o

It was nearing 3am, the game had come to a close and some were sipping more sake and munching snacks, but all were pointedly avoiding the elephant in the room – or more appropriate to say elephants – and no one hazarded an ask regarding the answers to the game. Thankfully.

Well, except…

"So which was it?" Naruto began.

Sakura turned questioningly to Naruto, her confusion apparent in her expression, her hand frozen on the shot glass she was washing.

"Was it my brother or cousin you shagged?" Sasuke chimed in, in tandem with Naruto's line of thought.

Sakura a bright shade of red sputtered indignantly.

Before punching both Naruto and Sasuke with gloved, soapy hands.

"Shut up!" she hissed. They were in the kitchen which was joined to the living room, and while everyone remained in the living area lounging and drinking, the slightly tipsy trio were cleaning up in the kitchen.

Sakura peered around them to where Itachi and Shisui were lounging on the sofa sipping sake, Itachi very clearly sober, and a red-faced Shisui very clearly hitting on an equally red-faced Ino.

Itachi glanced over at that moment and their eyes met, one eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth quirked upon spotting Sakura looking his way.

Sakura turned back to the dishes so quickly she accidentally crushed a shot glass in her hand.

She tried stealthily brushing of the crushed glass from her gloved fist into the bin but Naruto and Sasuke were watching her like hawks.

"So my brother then," Sasuke smirked knowingly.

Sakura a deep shade of crimson, turned her full attention to the sink in resolute silence.

Naruto gasped aloud in fake-horror.

"Don't tell me you slept with him after that mission with his team! The one where you didn't show up the next day because you were 'sick'." Naruto whispered a bit too loud and Sakura shoved her hands against his mouth so fast he had a nice helping of washing-up liquid in the process.

Sakura moved aside so Naruto could rinse his mouth out and so she couldn't break anymore dishes. Sasuke took over in the washing as she began stacking the dishes back in the cupboard.

Sasuke was silent (Naruto was too busy scrubbing his tongue), but he knew Sakura would talk when ready.

"We didn't sleep together," she sighed, facing the cupboards so she wouldn't have view into the living room at the same time, "I was really upset after the mission and he comforted me."

"With his dick," Naruto managed to get out, his voice warbled by the stream of water.

"No." She slapped him upside the head before continuing, "With a kiss."

"Wait," Sasuke interjected, pushing Naruto's head away as he started to make a comment. "Why would Itachi comfort you after a mission?"

Sakura paused, halfway stretched to place a plate on a higher shelf, she turned to Sasuke returning his confused look with one of her own. "Why is that such a surprise?"

"Itachi is very much a-", Sasuke waved one soap covered hand in the air as he gestured vaguely in a circular motion as if searching for the right word, "- 'Shit happens, that's life, deal with it' - kind of guy".

Stepping back, he carefully peaked around the corner to make sure his brother was still in place and would not sneak up on him (as he often did), before continuing his description.

"He doesn't 'comfort' people. Especially shit pertaining to missions. He once sneered at me and called me weak, for coming home limping when I took a kunai to the knee," Sasuke visibly winced at the memory.

"Tough love?" Sakura hazarded, to which Sasuke responded with a look, which by now is trademark Team 7 expression for, 'You know that's bullshit and I don't even need to acknowledge it out loud'.

"He has a point though." Naruto piped up, unexpectedly serious from where he had perched himself on the counter. "As in, his behavior makes sense. If I were an older brother, especially one as successful as Itachi, I wouldn't want to give my younger brother false ideals. I wouldn't want him to think that being a ninja is so great and fantastic just because I get called a genius all the time." Naruto shrugged nonchalantly, drying off a cup as if he hadn't just levelled them with some truly insightful shit.

"Wow."

"I know." Sasuke echoed, equally amazed by Naruto's sudden intuitiveness.

"So that's why you suck his dick, huh?"

"Fuck off." Sasuke shoved Sakura so hard she yelped and almost sent the stack of dishes to their untimely doom, but Naruto was quicker and reached out to save them in time.

Sasuke huffed in irritation, desperate to get to the bottom of the story; the night was long, he was getting tired, and Sakura was still being cagey as fuck.

"So," Sasuke began again with emphasis, "What happened?"

"Ah." Sakura blushed, embarrassed that the conversation had come back around to her. "Well, this kid, some aristocrat's son, got caught in the crossfire of some political war, and was taken hostage. He got hurt when we rescued him, and I healed him as best I could as we raced back to Konoha. As soon as we got here he was taken into theatre for emergency operations. And just." Sakura sighed heavily as she remembered, her eyes turning to her empty hands.

"He was so young and innocent, and so badly hurt and it was just so incredibly unfair." She sighed again, shakily, subconsciously turning her gaze over to where Itachi was sitting. "I tried so hard to heal this kid as best I could but he still had to go for surgery and I just broke down as soon as he was out of my hands."

Itachi was beside me the whole time, just silently holding my hand. And then, when I wouldn't stop crying, he kissed me gently on the lips and I was so surprised I just stopped instantly. Then he walked me home and that was it."

Naruto and Sasuke who had taken to occupying the barstools in the kitchen, dishes long since forgotten, were completely engrossed in Sakura's story and exclaimed in surprise at its abrupt end.

"That's it?" Naruto questioned, horrified.

"He didn't do anything after that?" Sasuke continued for him.

Sakura sighed, taking a seat beside her two best friends.

"Nope, nothing."

Sensing her discontent, they leaned over and enveloped Sakura in a hug, offering out suitable aww's of understanding.

"Listen Sakura," Sasuke began with a renewed fervor. "I can't say I know my brother well, and fuck knows what goes on in his crazy head, but what I can say is, Itachi doesn't take to people easily." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly before continuing.

"If he went through such efforts to comfort you, then he probably didn't do it mindlessly. All I can say is, even though he's a genius, he's not the best at 'courting' so to speak. He's great being in charge on a mission or dealing with pragmatic situations, but when it comes to matters of the heart he's awful at taking initiative. He probably thinks, staring at you from across a room full of drunken ninja's will convey his feelings to you perfectly. Which is–" Sasuke leaned back to peer into the living area "– Exactly what he's doing now."

"Oh." Sakura blushed ferociously, unsure of what to do with herself. "What should I do?"

"Duh, go over there." Naruto added.

"How can I go over there without seeming desperate and needy? Like I'm assuming things just because he comforted me once." Sakura panicked, babbling in a tirade.

"My God." Sasuke slapped his forehead in frustration. "You're both fucking useless."

Naruto sighed, patting Sasuke's shoulder reassuringly. "Just go over there and act like you need him for something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know? Be a basic bitch and act drunk, fall all over his ass and maybe he'll spring in to action."

Sasuke opened his mouth to intervene, but after a moment's hesitation found himself nodding along in thought.

"Actually not a bad idea. If he truly gives a shit, he'll help you out, if not he'll toss you on the sofa like the rest of 'em." Sasuke gestured to the mounds of shinobi passed out on various pieces of furniture, in various corners of the room; Itachi, Shisui and Ino being the only members still sober enough to stay awake – though for the most part it seemed Ino and Shisui were engaged in deep conversation (with a lot of conspicuous leg touching going on), that Itachi was relegated to engaging in deep convo with his phone.

After much pushing and prodding Sakura found herself shoved into the living room in the direction of Itachi, and thanks to an especially sharp nudge from Naruto, Sakura actually did fly halfway across the room and almost landed face-first in Itachi's crotch.

Thankfully, he caught her before it happened, and Sakura was so red in the face, she hardly needed to play drunk.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

Concerned. Concerned is good. Sakura thought frantically before realizing she had to actually respond to his question.

"I, ah." She blushed harder, fumbling for words. "I'm fine, just a little light-headed."

"From all that dish washing?" Itachi teased and Sakura fumbles helplessly, feeling exposed.

But her boys have trained her well and the lie slips off Sakura's tongue quicker than she expected.

"Yeah. We had some shots in the kitchen. Heaven knows what Naruto supplied us with."

Mention of Naruto's misdemeanors gets Itachi's immediate attention, and he stands up instantly, hesitating for a moment, before regarding Sakura with concern.

"Can you walk?"

"I, Uh," Sakura looks around frantically not knowing what the appropriate response is, finding Naruto and Sasuke peeking out from the kitchen as they watch the shitshow unfold.

Sakura spots Naruto feign fainting with Sasuke at the ready to catch him and immediately cottons on.

"I'm okay, I think." She steps away steadily, adding a wobble to her walk, before stopping shakily. "Maybe not." She laughs uneasily.

Itachi hesitates for all of thirty seconds before he leans over and scoops Sakura up, carrying her princess style.

"Let's get you to a bed." Itachi declares with finality, and Sakura can do nothing but nod timidly as she blushes furiously, her hand delicately grabbing Itachi's shirt.

From over Itachi's shoulder Sakura spots Naruto and Sasuke pumping their fists in victory, silently whopping and cheering.

Legends indeed.


A/N: Crack-fic have always been my weakness, check Love Lockdown by Lady Silvamord as one of my all-time fav's (though to be fair if you're in ItaSaku hell, you've probably already read that!).

As recompense for not having updated Kismet in almost 3 months, please have this story which I wrote like 2 years ago and never got round to editing and posting. This may or may not have a continuation (please see my page for stories I haven't updated in 6 years, for a general idea of how often I update shit), and since I have a few other unfinished one-shots which have accumulated over the years I may just post them here.

Please let me know your thoughts and if there's enough interest I may write a part 2... at some point (Kismet is still my priority) :)