These characters belong to Bleach, not me. So king me Bi#ch!
Just a one shot thing…not sure what "one shot" means, but here it is. For those who know; you know. For those who don't; read, review, and enjoy!
"Matsumoto!!" Yelled an angry Captain. He looked out the window, but didn't see the person he hunted. Where has she gone to now?! He jumped out the window and perched on top of a lower tree branch. After quickly skimming the court yard he concluded that she was nowhere in the vicinity. He shunpoed to the community shopping strip. This is where everyone in Soul Society goes for their shopping needs whether it be for food, clothes, or just to hang out.
"Matsumoto!!" Still nothing. He peeked into one of the nearby shops, but didn't spot any long strawberry blond hair. Then it hit him; "The Beauty Salon!!" The Beauty Salon was Matsumoto's favorite place to avoid paperwork because that was the one place she knew her Captain would never dare enter. And it was true; whenever Matsumoto hid inside that accursed place, he'd leave her in there. He would never come inside the Beauty Salon out of fear of being seen in there, and accused of being anything related to Captain Kyouraku Shunsui. That guy was just to open with his feminine side.
He passed a few more stores with the same results; none contained the big breasted woman he called his vice captain. He finally reached the Beauty Salon. He tried to peek in the window, but he knew he wouldn't be able to; the Beauty Salon was full of so many feminine products that from the outside the entire store was just pink all over! There was no other way…he had to do it…he had to enter…The Beauty Salon.
He looked left, and he looked right. Good, no one nearby. He stepped up to the door, took one last precautionary look out, and quickly jumped through the door into the incredibly pink store.
"Welcome." Said a female voice as he entered. I've been spotted!! Remaining as calm as he could he straightened up. The woman gave him a complimentary perfume sample, and a free thong. Eyeing the thong suspiciously, he cautiously continued on his hunt. He couldn't call out for her; that would lead to a lot of unwanted attention. He knew that should any one of the women in this shop spot him here they would-
"Awwww!! Isn't he adorable?!" Too late, a woman about the same age as Matsumoto had seen him and her adoring comment drew everyone's attention to him. He froze.
"Oh, he's so cute!"
"Look, he's got a thong!"
"Oh, I could just eat him up!"
"Let's kiss him!!" They surrounded him. There was no way out. For god's sake, it was like war in there!! They picked him up, they hugged him, and they all kissed him at least 8 times each. Dazed and confused, he made his way to the door.
"Wait little guy, I bought these for you." Suddenly everyone was handing him things. Leaving the store, red faced and carrying everything from differently colored thongs to hair clips, he couldn't help but be furious that Matsumoto wasn't there. The one time he'd braved the Crazy Women to go after her and she wasn't there! He stormed back to the 10th division, and into his office.
"Hello Captain, where have you been?" Matsumoto said casually. She looked at the kissy marks on his face and at the bags in his hands. "Captain…thongs? Well it's a little sudden, but I don't mind."
"Matsumoto, what the hell are you talking about? I've been all over Soul Society looking for you!!" He threw down the bags in his hands, spilling their contents over the floor. Matsumoto leapt off the sofa to investigate.
"You were in the Beauty Salon, Captain?" She said surprised. He blushed. "Hey Captain, are you going to ware these?" She held up a green thong.
"Of course not!!" He said blushing. He snatched the thong from her and threw it into the bag. "I went in there looking for you and the women in there kissed me and gave me all this stuff for no reason!" Matsumoto smiled.
"'No reason' you say? I think they may have thought a certain someone was a little cutie pie…" He glared. Matsumoto loved it when he was angry, he was just so adorable. "And by the way," she said as he went to leave the room. "if your not planning to wear that thong, then why are you taking it with you?" He stopped and turned back to her.
"Why do you care if I wear the thing or not?"
"Because if you're going to wear it I defiantly want to see!" She smiled bigger. There was a slight pause, and then:
"Fine come on, I've got two. We can each wear one." Matsumoto nearly swallowed her tongue. "I'm kidding, Matsumoto." He said shaking his head. "Geeze, and how long have you known me?" He left.
"Yea," said Matsumoto, to herself. "But I noticed you didn't put down the bag."
So what do you think? Funny, or not; let me know. I'm lonely!!…just kidding. Reviewing is the kind thing to do, though…just throwing that out there…
