I don't own any of these characters, I just wrote this atrocity... ENJOY! I also am a bit shitty when it comes to Shakespeare language.

Anthony and Bassanio were sitting in their home building a crib. Antonio had been pregnant with Bassanio's baby for a week.

"Oh I do hope the baby will come okay," Antonio stated in a worrisome matter.

"Calm your tits, Antonio," Bassanio replied. He made a gesture of squeezing Antonio's "nose."

Portia walked into the room and the two lovers looked over at her.

"Oh, hey Portia." Antonio said aloofly.

"Hi there," she replied promptly.

"Shall we?" Bassanio inquired looking at Portia seductively. She looked back at him, her sex face in full swing

Portia grew extremely aroused and removed her ruff collar, exposing her neck. Bassanio howled, "That's my fetish!"

Suddenly the room was awash with aphrodisiacs. Antonio, who was still sitting by the soon-to-be-baby's crib began to unrobe.

Before long, Portia was screaming in excitement. She was so excited that she would get the opportunity to bang Bassanio after this whole affair. She enjoyed threesomes so she was never offended.