Title: First Comes Roy, Then Comes...BLAIR???
Author: rileydylan25
Summary: Mrs. Garret and Roy come for a visit. When Roy takes up a new object of infatuation, the unthinkable happens!
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Facts of Life". Wish I did, but I don't.
***
First Comes Roy, Then Comes...BLAIR???
It all starts in Over Our Heads. Blair is setting up the window display, while Natalie is sitting at a small table, trying to do some paperwork, Jo and Tootie are in the kitchen with Beverly Anne helping her with dinner.
Blair: I've been thinking.
Natalie: About what? Natalie looks over at Blair. Blair walks over to the table.
Blair: Well, don't you ever wonder where everyone we've known at Eastland is right now? Like, I don't know, Roy. I wonder if he still has a thing for Jo. Blair giggles while thinking about Roy.
Blair: We haven't seen him for at least two years or so. Remember how much he liked Jo? I don't think we've ever gotten Jo and Roy on a date.
Natalie: How could we? If we even mentioned something like that to Jo, we would be sucking soup in through the spare space in our teeth every night at dinner for the rest of our lives.
Blair: Isn't that the truth! Blair pauses for a few seconds. I wonder where Mrs. Garret is right now.
Natalie: Somewhere, I don't know. I miss having her with us. I mean sure, she can be a little, uh, what's the word?
Blair: A pain in the butt?
Natalie: Yeah, sometimes, but I still miss her.
Blair nods her head and flips her hair as she heads toward the counter.
Just then Andy comes into the shop with the mail.
Andy: Mail call!
Jo, Tootie, and Beverly Anne come into the room.
Jo: Great, I'm expecting a letter from the bank.
Tootie: Yeah, and the theater said they would send their answer through the mail if I got the role in the new play. They seem to like stressing people out for long periods of time.
Andy as he gives each person her mail: Three for Beverly Anne, one for Blair, one for Natalie, two for Tootie, and three for Jo.
Beverly Anne: Great, bills. Hey look, girls, we got a letter from Edna!
The girls crowd Beverly Anne to see what the letter says.
Blair: What does she say?
Beverly Anne: It says she's taking a vacation. She's coming down for a visit on the fifteenth! Oh, my, that's tomorrow!
Tootie: That's great!
Beverly Anne leaves the room and walks into their living room. The rest of the girls stay in the shop.
Blair: I guess we're going to have a little reunion.
The girls are silent for a couple of seconds while they open their mail.
Jo almost screams: Oh, my god!
Blair: What is it?
Tootie and Natalie quickly walk over to Jo and try to look over her shoulder. Beverly Anne quickly comes into the room.
Jo: This is a letter from Roy!
Blair: Roy?
Natalie: Roy?
Tootie: Roy?
Beverly Anne: Roy? Who's Roy?
Blair ignoring Beverly Anne: What does he say?
Jo: Roy says he's coming back for a visit. It says, "My Dear Sweet Potato," Jo rolls her eyes. "I am taking a little break from college to come down to Peekskill. I' m hoping you guys will lend me a room or something. I'm coming down the fifteenth. Can't wait to see you! Love, Roy." Jo groans as she finishes reading.
Natalie: He's coming up?
Andy: Roy, the name sounds familiar.
Beverly Anne: Will someone please tell me who this Roy fellow is? Was he your boyfriend Jo?
Jo: Gosh, no! Let's just say we all go way back. He used to live here, but then he went off to college. I was hoping, thought, that it would be the last time we saw him. I guess not.
Blair pulls Beverly Anne to the corner of the shop.
Blair: He had this huge thing for Jo, but she hated him. My advice for you is to not get involved.
Andy: So now we have two visitors for tomorrow. I'm okay with it, as long as no one takes my bed.
Blair: This is so weird! Natalie and I were just talking about Roy.
Jo: Ugh, maybe if I'm lucky, Roy's gotten a life!
Beverly Anne goes upstairs to get the rooms ready for the next day.
*
Blair, Tootie, and Natalie are waiting in the living room behind the shop for Mrs. Garret and Roy to arrive.
Blair: Where's Jo?
Tootie: I don't know, I think she's upstairs.
Natalie: Do you think Jo is excited that Roy's coming back?
Tootie: I don't know.
Suddenly they see Jo coming down stairs in her old camouflage jacket and jeans.
Blair smirks: Jo, you haven't worn camouflage for at least a year. Do you want Roy to think you haven't changed?
Jo: No, I just want to wear camouflage today. Do you have a problem with that?
Blair shakes her head, smirking wider. Jo sits down on the couch.
Suddenly they hear the doorbell. The four girls look at each other.
Beverly Anne comes running down the stairs.
Beverly Anne: Isn't anyone going to answer the door?
Beverly Anne opens the door and is surprised by Roy giving her a kiss. He pulls back fast.
Roy: You're not Jo.
Beverly Anne: Um, no. But you must be Roy. Come on in.
Natalie: Hey, Roy! It's been so long!
Blair, Natalie, and Tootie go up to Roy and give him a quick hug. Jo stays on the couch.
Roy sees her and walks over to the couch.
Jo: Hey, Roy.
Roy: Jo, you haven't changed a bit. Thank God!
Roy jumps on her and gives her one heck of a kiss. Jo pushes him away.
Jo: You're right, I haven't changed a bit. And I will still treat you to a knuckle sandwich if you try that again.
Roy: Good old Jo. Hey, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me tonight?
Jo looks at the others. They all have big smiles on their faces.
Jo: Um, I have a lot of paperwork to do tonight. Maybe some other time.
Roy: Oh, I get it. Hey, would any one else like to go get some grub at the nearest restaurant?
Tootie: I'm free tonight.
Natalie: Me, too. Hey, Roy, did you hear that Mrs. Garret is coming for a visit today?
Roy: No, how about we all go for dinner?
Jo: You know, I could work on my paperwork tomorrow.
Blair: Oh, no, Jo. I think you should stay here. We'll bring you back a little something. You tell Mrs. Garret to meet us at Señor Taco. Ciao, Jo!
Blair, Tootie, Natalie, Roy, Andy, and Beverly Anne head off for the restaurant.
*
Jo is lying on her bed and reading a book. She's wondering if the others are having a nice time. Suddenly the door flies open and Mrs. Garret comes in.
Mrs. Garret: I'm here! Where is everyone?
Jo: Hey Mrs. G, it's good to see you! They all went to Señor Taco and they said for you to meet them there. Hey, how about I drive you?
Mrs. Garret: Sure, Jo. It's so good to see you too.
*
Mrs. Garret and Jo arrive at Señor Taco. They spot the others sitting at a table in the back.
Blair: Mrs. Garret! It's so good to see you!
The girls and Beverly Anne get up and hug Mrs. Garret.
Mrs. Garret: Hi girls! Jo tells me that we're having dinner here.
Tootie: Yeah, and I thought that Jo had paperwork to do. Jo?
Jo: Got it done early.
Jo says as she starts toward the table. The only other seat is next to Roy. Jo sits down and crosses her arms.
Roy: Oh, Jo. Look at this menu. Have you ever seen such delicious food?
Roy smoothly puts his arm around her to pick up the menu in the middle of the table. Blair gives Jo one of "those" looks. Jo quickly elbows Roy in the stomach.
Jo: If I want to look at the menu, I'll look at the menu.
Roy: Ok, ok. Don't have a cow. That goes for Señor Taco's beef, too.
Roy starts laughing hysterically. All the girls give him a look.
Natalie: Hysterical, Roy. Okay, I think we should order now.
Everyone orders. After an hour or so of eating and talking, Roy whispers something in Jo's ear.
Jo: I'll be right back.
Jo stands up and heads for the back of the restaurant, Roy follows. When they get outside, Jo turns to Roy.
Jo: What did you want to talk to me about Roy?
Roy: Well, never mind. Roy starts heading back inside.
Jo: No, Roy. You dragged me outside in freezing cold weather to tell me something. I want to hear it.
Roy: Ok, I quit college.
Jo: What? Why?
Roy: I wanted to come back here. I was getting bored. Plus, you weren't anywhere near me, so there's a good reason for you, right there.
Jo pauses: Roy, you flushed your future down the toilet over some stupid little crush you have on me? You like me that much?
Roy: Why shouldn't I like you?
Jo: I want you to give me three reasons why you like me.
Roy: You're beautiful, you have a good sense of humor, and I just like you.
Jo: Why not Blair, Natalie or Tootie?
Roy: Blair is vain, and Natalie and Tootie already have boyfriends.
Jo: You know, Blair isn't so bad when you get to know her.
Roy: Will you go out with me?
Jo: Roy, I wonder how many times you've asked me that.
Roy: So, what do you say?
Jo: I'll tell what, if you go out with the other girls, and if you don't enjoy it, I'll go out with you. But if I go out with you once, you have to promise to go back to college.
Roy: Deal.
*
It's 7:00 in the morning. Blair, Tootie, Jo, and Mrs. Garret are sitting in the kitchen having breakfast.
Blair: So, Jo, what did you and Roy talk about last night?
Jo: None of your business.
Blair: Jo, no need to be shy. We promise we won't laugh.
Jo: All we did was talk. Now, will you leave me alone so I can eat my cereal in peace?
Tootie: Alright Jo. We won't pressure you.
Jo: Thank you. Jo takes a spoonful of cereal and puts in her mouth.
Then Roy comes walking down the stairs. He winks at Jo and walks up to Blair.
Roy: Blair, I was wondering, would you like to go to a dinner and a movie tonight?
Blair looks shocked.
Blair: Roy, are you sure you have the right woman?
Roy: I asked you, didn't I?
Blair: Well, sure, Roy, I don't have any plans for tonight.
Roy: Great!
Blair smiles to herself as Roy leaves the room. When Roy is gone, Blair runs to the seat next to Jo.
Blair: What did you do?
Jo: What do you mean?
Blair: Roy just asked me out.
Jo: What's the problem?
Blair: He didn't ask you! Oh, I see! You probably told him you don't like him and never will so get the heck out of here, right?
Jo: No.
Blair shrugs and goes up stairs to their bedroom.
When Blair opens the bedroom door, she is surprised by Roy.
Blair: What the heck are you doing in my bedroom?
Roy: I have to talk to you. I didn't want Jo to hear this. The only reason I asked you out was because Jo told me if I go out with all of you and do not have a good time, she'll go out with me.
Blair: So you want to have a terrible date with me?
Roy: Yes. Please be terrible!
Blair: Well, it will be very difficult to have a terrible date with me, but I'll do the best I can.
Roy: Thank you!
Roy leaves the room. Blair sits on her bed. Natalie runs into the room and sits down at the desk with her typewriter.
Blair pauses: Natalie, why does Roy like Jo more than me?
Natalie quickly: Haven't a clue. She starts typing.
Blair: There has to be a reason. I mean I haven't met a guy that didn't like me!
Natalie: Why the sudden interest in Roy?
Blair: He told me that Jo told him that if he goes out with us, and doesn't have a good time, she'll go out with him. So Roy asked me out and told me to be a terrible date.
Natalie: You mean he's going to ask Tootie and me out?
Blair: That's beside the point. I mean, he's willing to do anything for her.
Natalie: You're jealous of Jo, aren't you?
Blair: No! I just don't see why he doesn't like me! Okay, so that makes me jealous. Don't tell Jo!
Natalie: My lips are sealed.
*
Roy and Natalie are sitting on the couch in the living room while Jo is sitting at the table. Roy is staring at Jo while Natalie stares at Roy.
Natalie: You know, if everybody had a Roy, no one would have had to invent TV.
Jo: Roy, aren't you waiting for Blair?
Roy: Yeah, we should get going if we don't want to miss the movie.
Jo: I'll go get her.
Jo runs upstairs to their room where Blair is getting ready.
Jo: Hey, Blair, I need a favor.
Blair: Like what? Blair is in the bathroom so you can't see her.
Jo: When you go out with Roy tonight, make sure he loves it.
Blair: Why wouldn't he? He'll be with me!
Jo: I sort of make a deal with him that if he goes out with all of you and totally hates it, I'd go out with him.
Suddenly the door opens and Blair comes out dressed in camouflage pants, a baggy green T-shirt, and Jo's camouflage jacket.
Blair: Is there anything different about me?
Jo: What the heck do you think you're doing?
Blair: I wanted to try out a new look. Do you like?
Jo: Green's not your color, and I didn't say you could wear my jacket! Plus, you're just doing this to make me go on a date with Roy!
Blair walks past Jo and down the stairs. When she is at the third step, everyone downstairs notices Blair.
Natalie: Blair, what are you wearing?
Roy: Camouflage? In the good old days, you hated camouflage!
Blair: Maybe I changed my mind about it! Come on, Roy, we mustn't be late for the movie.
Roy gets up and follows Blair out of the door.
*
Blair and Roy are finding seats in the movie theater. They find good seats and sit down.
Roy: So, I'm sorry about making you go out with me.
Blair: Roy, you have much to learn about women. If you ask us out and we say yes, that means we usually want to go out with you.
Roy: Don't whack me upside the head with your popcorn container, but are you saying you wanted to go out with me?
Before Blair can answer, the movie starts and the lights go black. After a minute or two, Roy, very smoothly, pretends to stretch and puts his arm around Blair. What surprises Roy: Blair doesn't even push it away.
Blair to herself: Jo is going to hate me.
*
All of the girls, Beverly Anne, Mrs. Garret, and Andy are in the living room waiting for Blair.
Jo: It's twelve-thirty, what could they be doing?
Natalie: I don't even want to think about it.
Mrs. Garret: Now, girls. They probably just had some car trouble or something. I mean let's face it, Blair is out with Roy.
Jo: Blair went out with Roy dressed in all camouflage, nothing would surprise me now.
Then the door opens and Blair and Roy come in, laughing.
Jo: Where were you guys?
Blair: No "hello", no "how did your date go"?
Jo: What were you doing until twelve-thirty?
Roy: After the movie, Blair and I went to a little coffee shop down the road. What, were you worried?
Jo: No, I was just wondering what you were doing for so long.
Blair: I think that was one of my best dates.
Roy: Me too! Wait, this is my first date.
Blair: You mean you've never been out on a date before?
Roy: Well I, um, no. But hey, there's a first time for everything!
Blair smiles and walks up to Roy.
Blair snickers at Jo: I had a wonderful time.
Blair looks at Jo and then gives Roy one heck of a kiss. Jo watches, mouth opened. Blair pulls back and then walks upstairs. Jo looks really confused. Roy blushes and waves.
Roy: I'll be going up to my room.
Jo after Roy gets upstairs: What just happened?
Mrs. Garret: Um, if I'm not mistaken, Blair and Roy are probably officially boyfriend and girlfriend now. I'm really confused so I'm going to go up to my room now, good night!
Jo: This is terrible.
Beverly Anne: Why, do you secretly like Roy?
Jo: Um, no! It's just that Roy and I made a little bet. I told him that if he goes out with Blair, Natalie, and Tootie, and doesn't have a good time, I'd go out with him. And in return, he'd go back to college.
Natalie: What do you mean, go back?
Jo: Roy quit college to come back to Peekskill and see me. But now that he had a good time with Blair, he won't go back. I have to go talk to Blair.
Jo runs upstairs. When she gets up to the room, she sees Blair has taken off all of her camouflage and is now in her pink robe.
Jo: Okay, Blair, spill.
Blair: I guess Roy likes someone else now.
Jo: What? Blair, were you jealous? That explains everything! You can't stand to see a guy like someone else more than you!
Blair: Okay, so I was a little jealous, but what you said is just not true! You don't see me trying to steal Snake or Jeff away!
Jo: You're impossible!
Blair: Hey, I don't need to be jealous anymore, I got what I wanted.
Jo: Do you know why I'm mad at you for hitting it off with Roy?
Blair: I know you like him, but you never made a move.
Jo: No! If he went out with all of you and didn't have a good time, I would go out with him and then he would go back to college!!!!
Blair: What?
Jo: He quit college to move back here and hit on me. I told him if I did this, he would go back.
Blair: But why did you ask me to make him have a good time?
Jo: I didn't want to go out with him!
Blair: Jo, I feel bad now.
Jo: There's one thing I don't understand. You actually like Roy?
Blair: Actually, I don't like him, I was just jealous. Great, Roy's going to move back here and breathe down my neck for the whole rest of my life.
Jo: You have to do something to get him to go back to college. It's not just that I don't like him; I want him to have a future.
Blair: What should we do?
Jo: I think I have a plan.
Natalie, Tootie, Roy, and Mrs. Garret are sitting in the living room the next morning. Tootie, Natalie, and Roy are sitting on the couch, and Mrs. Garret is sitting on the big chair in the corner.
Suddenly Blair and Jo come down stairs. Roy looks up and smiles at Blair. Blair gives him one of her best smiles and leans to Jo.
Blair whispers in Jo's ear: Here goes nothing.
Blair walks over and sits close to Roy on the couch.
Roy: Good morning, Sunshine, did you sleep well?
Blair gives one of her annoyed smiles: Oh, I slept just wonderful. Hey Roy, I'm thinking since we seemed to hit it off last night, I think it's time we get married.
Natalie's and Tootie's jaws drop.
Natalie: What?
Tootie: What?
Mrs. Garret: What?
Roy: What?
Blair: When I have good dates, I get married. You wouldn't believe how many divorces I've had over the years!
Roy: So you're asking me to marry you?
Blair nods with a smile.
Roy: You're crazy! Now I can see why I like Jo better.
Jo: What's wrong, Roy? I thought you and Blair made a cute couple.
Roy desperate and wild-eyed: Jo, PLEASE say you'll go out with me!!!
Jo: I'll tell you what; if I go out with you, will you go back to college?
Roy: Right away!
Jo: Then it's a date.
Roy smiles and gets up, gives Blair a weird look and runs upstairs. Once Roy is upstairs...
Tootie: Blair, what the heck what that?
Natalie: Yeah, Blair. Did you hit your head on something?
Mrs. Garret: And what about Roy and college?
Jo: Ok, let me start from the beginning...
Then the closing credits come on while Jo is explaining.
THE END
Author: rileydylan25
Summary: Mrs. Garret and Roy come for a visit. When Roy takes up a new object of infatuation, the unthinkable happens!
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Facts of Life". Wish I did, but I don't.
***
First Comes Roy, Then Comes...BLAIR???
It all starts in Over Our Heads. Blair is setting up the window display, while Natalie is sitting at a small table, trying to do some paperwork, Jo and Tootie are in the kitchen with Beverly Anne helping her with dinner.
Blair: I've been thinking.
Natalie: About what? Natalie looks over at Blair. Blair walks over to the table.
Blair: Well, don't you ever wonder where everyone we've known at Eastland is right now? Like, I don't know, Roy. I wonder if he still has a thing for Jo. Blair giggles while thinking about Roy.
Blair: We haven't seen him for at least two years or so. Remember how much he liked Jo? I don't think we've ever gotten Jo and Roy on a date.
Natalie: How could we? If we even mentioned something like that to Jo, we would be sucking soup in through the spare space in our teeth every night at dinner for the rest of our lives.
Blair: Isn't that the truth! Blair pauses for a few seconds. I wonder where Mrs. Garret is right now.
Natalie: Somewhere, I don't know. I miss having her with us. I mean sure, she can be a little, uh, what's the word?
Blair: A pain in the butt?
Natalie: Yeah, sometimes, but I still miss her.
Blair nods her head and flips her hair as she heads toward the counter.
Just then Andy comes into the shop with the mail.
Andy: Mail call!
Jo, Tootie, and Beverly Anne come into the room.
Jo: Great, I'm expecting a letter from the bank.
Tootie: Yeah, and the theater said they would send their answer through the mail if I got the role in the new play. They seem to like stressing people out for long periods of time.
Andy as he gives each person her mail: Three for Beverly Anne, one for Blair, one for Natalie, two for Tootie, and three for Jo.
Beverly Anne: Great, bills. Hey look, girls, we got a letter from Edna!
The girls crowd Beverly Anne to see what the letter says.
Blair: What does she say?
Beverly Anne: It says she's taking a vacation. She's coming down for a visit on the fifteenth! Oh, my, that's tomorrow!
Tootie: That's great!
Beverly Anne leaves the room and walks into their living room. The rest of the girls stay in the shop.
Blair: I guess we're going to have a little reunion.
The girls are silent for a couple of seconds while they open their mail.
Jo almost screams: Oh, my god!
Blair: What is it?
Tootie and Natalie quickly walk over to Jo and try to look over her shoulder. Beverly Anne quickly comes into the room.
Jo: This is a letter from Roy!
Blair: Roy?
Natalie: Roy?
Tootie: Roy?
Beverly Anne: Roy? Who's Roy?
Blair ignoring Beverly Anne: What does he say?
Jo: Roy says he's coming back for a visit. It says, "My Dear Sweet Potato," Jo rolls her eyes. "I am taking a little break from college to come down to Peekskill. I' m hoping you guys will lend me a room or something. I'm coming down the fifteenth. Can't wait to see you! Love, Roy." Jo groans as she finishes reading.
Natalie: He's coming up?
Andy: Roy, the name sounds familiar.
Beverly Anne: Will someone please tell me who this Roy fellow is? Was he your boyfriend Jo?
Jo: Gosh, no! Let's just say we all go way back. He used to live here, but then he went off to college. I was hoping, thought, that it would be the last time we saw him. I guess not.
Blair pulls Beverly Anne to the corner of the shop.
Blair: He had this huge thing for Jo, but she hated him. My advice for you is to not get involved.
Andy: So now we have two visitors for tomorrow. I'm okay with it, as long as no one takes my bed.
Blair: This is so weird! Natalie and I were just talking about Roy.
Jo: Ugh, maybe if I'm lucky, Roy's gotten a life!
Beverly Anne goes upstairs to get the rooms ready for the next day.
*
Blair, Tootie, and Natalie are waiting in the living room behind the shop for Mrs. Garret and Roy to arrive.
Blair: Where's Jo?
Tootie: I don't know, I think she's upstairs.
Natalie: Do you think Jo is excited that Roy's coming back?
Tootie: I don't know.
Suddenly they see Jo coming down stairs in her old camouflage jacket and jeans.
Blair smirks: Jo, you haven't worn camouflage for at least a year. Do you want Roy to think you haven't changed?
Jo: No, I just want to wear camouflage today. Do you have a problem with that?
Blair shakes her head, smirking wider. Jo sits down on the couch.
Suddenly they hear the doorbell. The four girls look at each other.
Beverly Anne comes running down the stairs.
Beverly Anne: Isn't anyone going to answer the door?
Beverly Anne opens the door and is surprised by Roy giving her a kiss. He pulls back fast.
Roy: You're not Jo.
Beverly Anne: Um, no. But you must be Roy. Come on in.
Natalie: Hey, Roy! It's been so long!
Blair, Natalie, and Tootie go up to Roy and give him a quick hug. Jo stays on the couch.
Roy sees her and walks over to the couch.
Jo: Hey, Roy.
Roy: Jo, you haven't changed a bit. Thank God!
Roy jumps on her and gives her one heck of a kiss. Jo pushes him away.
Jo: You're right, I haven't changed a bit. And I will still treat you to a knuckle sandwich if you try that again.
Roy: Good old Jo. Hey, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me tonight?
Jo looks at the others. They all have big smiles on their faces.
Jo: Um, I have a lot of paperwork to do tonight. Maybe some other time.
Roy: Oh, I get it. Hey, would any one else like to go get some grub at the nearest restaurant?
Tootie: I'm free tonight.
Natalie: Me, too. Hey, Roy, did you hear that Mrs. Garret is coming for a visit today?
Roy: No, how about we all go for dinner?
Jo: You know, I could work on my paperwork tomorrow.
Blair: Oh, no, Jo. I think you should stay here. We'll bring you back a little something. You tell Mrs. Garret to meet us at Señor Taco. Ciao, Jo!
Blair, Tootie, Natalie, Roy, Andy, and Beverly Anne head off for the restaurant.
*
Jo is lying on her bed and reading a book. She's wondering if the others are having a nice time. Suddenly the door flies open and Mrs. Garret comes in.
Mrs. Garret: I'm here! Where is everyone?
Jo: Hey Mrs. G, it's good to see you! They all went to Señor Taco and they said for you to meet them there. Hey, how about I drive you?
Mrs. Garret: Sure, Jo. It's so good to see you too.
*
Mrs. Garret and Jo arrive at Señor Taco. They spot the others sitting at a table in the back.
Blair: Mrs. Garret! It's so good to see you!
The girls and Beverly Anne get up and hug Mrs. Garret.
Mrs. Garret: Hi girls! Jo tells me that we're having dinner here.
Tootie: Yeah, and I thought that Jo had paperwork to do. Jo?
Jo: Got it done early.
Jo says as she starts toward the table. The only other seat is next to Roy. Jo sits down and crosses her arms.
Roy: Oh, Jo. Look at this menu. Have you ever seen such delicious food?
Roy smoothly puts his arm around her to pick up the menu in the middle of the table. Blair gives Jo one of "those" looks. Jo quickly elbows Roy in the stomach.
Jo: If I want to look at the menu, I'll look at the menu.
Roy: Ok, ok. Don't have a cow. That goes for Señor Taco's beef, too.
Roy starts laughing hysterically. All the girls give him a look.
Natalie: Hysterical, Roy. Okay, I think we should order now.
Everyone orders. After an hour or so of eating and talking, Roy whispers something in Jo's ear.
Jo: I'll be right back.
Jo stands up and heads for the back of the restaurant, Roy follows. When they get outside, Jo turns to Roy.
Jo: What did you want to talk to me about Roy?
Roy: Well, never mind. Roy starts heading back inside.
Jo: No, Roy. You dragged me outside in freezing cold weather to tell me something. I want to hear it.
Roy: Ok, I quit college.
Jo: What? Why?
Roy: I wanted to come back here. I was getting bored. Plus, you weren't anywhere near me, so there's a good reason for you, right there.
Jo pauses: Roy, you flushed your future down the toilet over some stupid little crush you have on me? You like me that much?
Roy: Why shouldn't I like you?
Jo: I want you to give me three reasons why you like me.
Roy: You're beautiful, you have a good sense of humor, and I just like you.
Jo: Why not Blair, Natalie or Tootie?
Roy: Blair is vain, and Natalie and Tootie already have boyfriends.
Jo: You know, Blair isn't so bad when you get to know her.
Roy: Will you go out with me?
Jo: Roy, I wonder how many times you've asked me that.
Roy: So, what do you say?
Jo: I'll tell what, if you go out with the other girls, and if you don't enjoy it, I'll go out with you. But if I go out with you once, you have to promise to go back to college.
Roy: Deal.
*
It's 7:00 in the morning. Blair, Tootie, Jo, and Mrs. Garret are sitting in the kitchen having breakfast.
Blair: So, Jo, what did you and Roy talk about last night?
Jo: None of your business.
Blair: Jo, no need to be shy. We promise we won't laugh.
Jo: All we did was talk. Now, will you leave me alone so I can eat my cereal in peace?
Tootie: Alright Jo. We won't pressure you.
Jo: Thank you. Jo takes a spoonful of cereal and puts in her mouth.
Then Roy comes walking down the stairs. He winks at Jo and walks up to Blair.
Roy: Blair, I was wondering, would you like to go to a dinner and a movie tonight?
Blair looks shocked.
Blair: Roy, are you sure you have the right woman?
Roy: I asked you, didn't I?
Blair: Well, sure, Roy, I don't have any plans for tonight.
Roy: Great!
Blair smiles to herself as Roy leaves the room. When Roy is gone, Blair runs to the seat next to Jo.
Blair: What did you do?
Jo: What do you mean?
Blair: Roy just asked me out.
Jo: What's the problem?
Blair: He didn't ask you! Oh, I see! You probably told him you don't like him and never will so get the heck out of here, right?
Jo: No.
Blair shrugs and goes up stairs to their bedroom.
When Blair opens the bedroom door, she is surprised by Roy.
Blair: What the heck are you doing in my bedroom?
Roy: I have to talk to you. I didn't want Jo to hear this. The only reason I asked you out was because Jo told me if I go out with all of you and do not have a good time, she'll go out with me.
Blair: So you want to have a terrible date with me?
Roy: Yes. Please be terrible!
Blair: Well, it will be very difficult to have a terrible date with me, but I'll do the best I can.
Roy: Thank you!
Roy leaves the room. Blair sits on her bed. Natalie runs into the room and sits down at the desk with her typewriter.
Blair pauses: Natalie, why does Roy like Jo more than me?
Natalie quickly: Haven't a clue. She starts typing.
Blair: There has to be a reason. I mean I haven't met a guy that didn't like me!
Natalie: Why the sudden interest in Roy?
Blair: He told me that Jo told him that if he goes out with us, and doesn't have a good time, she'll go out with him. So Roy asked me out and told me to be a terrible date.
Natalie: You mean he's going to ask Tootie and me out?
Blair: That's beside the point. I mean, he's willing to do anything for her.
Natalie: You're jealous of Jo, aren't you?
Blair: No! I just don't see why he doesn't like me! Okay, so that makes me jealous. Don't tell Jo!
Natalie: My lips are sealed.
*
Roy and Natalie are sitting on the couch in the living room while Jo is sitting at the table. Roy is staring at Jo while Natalie stares at Roy.
Natalie: You know, if everybody had a Roy, no one would have had to invent TV.
Jo: Roy, aren't you waiting for Blair?
Roy: Yeah, we should get going if we don't want to miss the movie.
Jo: I'll go get her.
Jo runs upstairs to their room where Blair is getting ready.
Jo: Hey, Blair, I need a favor.
Blair: Like what? Blair is in the bathroom so you can't see her.
Jo: When you go out with Roy tonight, make sure he loves it.
Blair: Why wouldn't he? He'll be with me!
Jo: I sort of make a deal with him that if he goes out with all of you and totally hates it, I'd go out with him.
Suddenly the door opens and Blair comes out dressed in camouflage pants, a baggy green T-shirt, and Jo's camouflage jacket.
Blair: Is there anything different about me?
Jo: What the heck do you think you're doing?
Blair: I wanted to try out a new look. Do you like?
Jo: Green's not your color, and I didn't say you could wear my jacket! Plus, you're just doing this to make me go on a date with Roy!
Blair walks past Jo and down the stairs. When she is at the third step, everyone downstairs notices Blair.
Natalie: Blair, what are you wearing?
Roy: Camouflage? In the good old days, you hated camouflage!
Blair: Maybe I changed my mind about it! Come on, Roy, we mustn't be late for the movie.
Roy gets up and follows Blair out of the door.
*
Blair and Roy are finding seats in the movie theater. They find good seats and sit down.
Roy: So, I'm sorry about making you go out with me.
Blair: Roy, you have much to learn about women. If you ask us out and we say yes, that means we usually want to go out with you.
Roy: Don't whack me upside the head with your popcorn container, but are you saying you wanted to go out with me?
Before Blair can answer, the movie starts and the lights go black. After a minute or two, Roy, very smoothly, pretends to stretch and puts his arm around Blair. What surprises Roy: Blair doesn't even push it away.
Blair to herself: Jo is going to hate me.
*
All of the girls, Beverly Anne, Mrs. Garret, and Andy are in the living room waiting for Blair.
Jo: It's twelve-thirty, what could they be doing?
Natalie: I don't even want to think about it.
Mrs. Garret: Now, girls. They probably just had some car trouble or something. I mean let's face it, Blair is out with Roy.
Jo: Blair went out with Roy dressed in all camouflage, nothing would surprise me now.
Then the door opens and Blair and Roy come in, laughing.
Jo: Where were you guys?
Blair: No "hello", no "how did your date go"?
Jo: What were you doing until twelve-thirty?
Roy: After the movie, Blair and I went to a little coffee shop down the road. What, were you worried?
Jo: No, I was just wondering what you were doing for so long.
Blair: I think that was one of my best dates.
Roy: Me too! Wait, this is my first date.
Blair: You mean you've never been out on a date before?
Roy: Well I, um, no. But hey, there's a first time for everything!
Blair smiles and walks up to Roy.
Blair snickers at Jo: I had a wonderful time.
Blair looks at Jo and then gives Roy one heck of a kiss. Jo watches, mouth opened. Blair pulls back and then walks upstairs. Jo looks really confused. Roy blushes and waves.
Roy: I'll be going up to my room.
Jo after Roy gets upstairs: What just happened?
Mrs. Garret: Um, if I'm not mistaken, Blair and Roy are probably officially boyfriend and girlfriend now. I'm really confused so I'm going to go up to my room now, good night!
Jo: This is terrible.
Beverly Anne: Why, do you secretly like Roy?
Jo: Um, no! It's just that Roy and I made a little bet. I told him that if he goes out with Blair, Natalie, and Tootie, and doesn't have a good time, I'd go out with him. And in return, he'd go back to college.
Natalie: What do you mean, go back?
Jo: Roy quit college to come back to Peekskill and see me. But now that he had a good time with Blair, he won't go back. I have to go talk to Blair.
Jo runs upstairs. When she gets up to the room, she sees Blair has taken off all of her camouflage and is now in her pink robe.
Jo: Okay, Blair, spill.
Blair: I guess Roy likes someone else now.
Jo: What? Blair, were you jealous? That explains everything! You can't stand to see a guy like someone else more than you!
Blair: Okay, so I was a little jealous, but what you said is just not true! You don't see me trying to steal Snake or Jeff away!
Jo: You're impossible!
Blair: Hey, I don't need to be jealous anymore, I got what I wanted.
Jo: Do you know why I'm mad at you for hitting it off with Roy?
Blair: I know you like him, but you never made a move.
Jo: No! If he went out with all of you and didn't have a good time, I would go out with him and then he would go back to college!!!!
Blair: What?
Jo: He quit college to move back here and hit on me. I told him if I did this, he would go back.
Blair: But why did you ask me to make him have a good time?
Jo: I didn't want to go out with him!
Blair: Jo, I feel bad now.
Jo: There's one thing I don't understand. You actually like Roy?
Blair: Actually, I don't like him, I was just jealous. Great, Roy's going to move back here and breathe down my neck for the whole rest of my life.
Jo: You have to do something to get him to go back to college. It's not just that I don't like him; I want him to have a future.
Blair: What should we do?
Jo: I think I have a plan.
Natalie, Tootie, Roy, and Mrs. Garret are sitting in the living room the next morning. Tootie, Natalie, and Roy are sitting on the couch, and Mrs. Garret is sitting on the big chair in the corner.
Suddenly Blair and Jo come down stairs. Roy looks up and smiles at Blair. Blair gives him one of her best smiles and leans to Jo.
Blair whispers in Jo's ear: Here goes nothing.
Blair walks over and sits close to Roy on the couch.
Roy: Good morning, Sunshine, did you sleep well?
Blair gives one of her annoyed smiles: Oh, I slept just wonderful. Hey Roy, I'm thinking since we seemed to hit it off last night, I think it's time we get married.
Natalie's and Tootie's jaws drop.
Natalie: What?
Tootie: What?
Mrs. Garret: What?
Roy: What?
Blair: When I have good dates, I get married. You wouldn't believe how many divorces I've had over the years!
Roy: So you're asking me to marry you?
Blair nods with a smile.
Roy: You're crazy! Now I can see why I like Jo better.
Jo: What's wrong, Roy? I thought you and Blair made a cute couple.
Roy desperate and wild-eyed: Jo, PLEASE say you'll go out with me!!!
Jo: I'll tell you what; if I go out with you, will you go back to college?
Roy: Right away!
Jo: Then it's a date.
Roy smiles and gets up, gives Blair a weird look and runs upstairs. Once Roy is upstairs...
Tootie: Blair, what the heck what that?
Natalie: Yeah, Blair. Did you hit your head on something?
Mrs. Garret: And what about Roy and college?
Jo: Ok, let me start from the beginning...
Then the closing credits come on while Jo is explaining.
THE END
